Am I doing it wrong? For Doctors by Doctors.

Doctor Becc and Kristeen Barker
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Medicine
  • Weekly

In "Am I Doing It Wrong?” Doctor Becc & Kristeen Barker have the vulnerable conversations all doctors need to remind us "You're not crazy, life as a doctor is". You'll feel seen & connected again & you'll also get actionable strategies to be able to show up as your favourite version of you as a doctor regardless of the daily challenges. Dr Kristeen Barker, nephrologist at Alfred Health, runs online medical education courses for physicians & trainees. Doctor Becc (Dr Rebecca Nothrop) is coach & host of Dare, Darling—a transformative group coaching program for doctors who are people-pleasers.

  1. 6d ago

    113: Why good doctors feel behind and what to do about it

    Hello, Doctor Humans! In this episode, we’re talking about something so many doctors experience without even realizing it, feeling average, behind, or not good enough while working in a profession filled with incredibly high achievers. We unpack how medical culture, constant comparison, exams, feedback, and the pressure to keep achieving can distort the way we see ourselves. More importantly, we talk about how to start measuring success by what actually matters to us as doctors, not just by the things medicine happens to reward. KEY POINTS Why being surrounded by other high achievers can make exceptional doctors feel completely average How our brains can turn a single exam result, piece of feedback, or difficult moment into a judgment about our entire identity Why academic performance does not necessarily reflect how good we are as clinicians The important parts of doctoring that often go unmeasured, including compassion, patient connection, clinical integrity, and the time we spend truly caring for people Why constantly chasing qualifications, research, achievements, and the next line on the CV may not create the kind of success or fulfillment we actually want How defining our own values can give us a healthier and more accurate way to measure our success in medicine Why knowing what matters to us makes it easier to receive feedback without automatically treating every criticism as proof that we are failing The importance of acknowledging our own strengths without confusing self-recognition with arrogance We’d love for you to reflect with us. What are the qualities that make you feel like a successful doctor, even if they never appear on an exam, performance review, or CV? Share your thoughts with us and let us know what you want to start recognizing and valuing more in yourself. 📚 Study with Kristeen If you’re preparing for physician exams — or just want to truly understand immunology & renal medicine — start here.  Kristeen’s FREE 7-Day GN Kick-Start Challenge gives you the clarity you wish someone handed you years ago. 👉 Study with Kristeen: https://linktr.ee/renaltutorials More study tools coming soon. 🚀 Transform with Doctor Becc Inside Dare, Darling, Becc helps doctors who change the world tap into their GREATNESS to become an unstoppable force for good. ◽️ Apply for a consult-interview: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linkly.link/2tf1b⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💌 FREE 1-line mindset upgrades every M/W/F to make you more UNSHAKEABLE 💌 Drop your email here: ⁠https://2ly.link/27dxJ⁠  🔗 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on socials 🌎 📽 Kristeen’s YouTube: https://2ly.link/27faR   👋 Kristeen’s Instagram: https://2ly.link/27faF  📽 Becc’s YouTube: https://2ly.link/27faP  👋 Becc’s Instagram: https://linkly.link/2FUkz

  2. Oct 13

    112: Medical ambivalence: when you love medicine but hate the job

    Hello, Doctor Humans! Today we’re sharing a new phrase we’ve termed for something so many doctors experience but have never had a name for - until now: medical ambivalence. It’s that feeling of loving medicine and yet sometimes hating it too.  This concept came from Becc’s recent experience of Maternal Ambivalence as a mother. When we’re doing hard things, it’s important we’re able to hold the duality of that, which means not making the ‘negative’ negate the positive.  We’re unpacking why those feelings can exist together, what they really mean, and how to tell the difference between a hard season in medicine and a deeper sign that something needs to change. KEY POINTS Medical ambivalence is the experience of having conflicting feelings about our career in medicine at the same time. We can love being doctors and still feel tired, resentful, frustrated, or completely over it some days. A difficult day at work does not automatically mean we are in the wrong career. Sometimes the problem is not being a doctor itself, but the healthcare system, workload, rosters, lack of breaks, sleep deprivation, and constant pressure. Training years can shape how we see medicine, especially when we have very little control over our schedule or workload. Our brains can quickly turn one bad experience into a much bigger conclusion like, “Maybe I’m not meant to be a doctor.” Big career decisions are easier to understand when we give ourselves space and look at what is actually driving the doubt. Naming medical ambivalence can help reduce shame, self-doubt, and the feeling that something is wrong with us. Talking openly about these feelings can also help us feel less alone and create more support between doctors. Have you ever had a moment where you loved medicine but also wanted nothing to do with it? We’d love to hear your experience. Come share your thoughts with us, and send this episode to another Doctor Human who might be having one of those days.  📚 Study with Kristeen If you’re preparing for physician exams — or just want to truly understand immunology & renal medicine — start here.  Kristeen’s FREE 7-Day GN Kick-Start Challenge gives you the clarity you wish someone handed you years ago. 👉 Study with Kristeen: https://linktr.ee/renaltutorials More study tools coming soon. 🚀 Transform with Doctor Becc Inside Dare, Darling, Becc helps doctors who change the world tap into their GREATNESS to become an unstoppable force for good. ◽️ Apply for a consult-interview: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linkly.link/2tf1b⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💌 FREE 1-line mindset upgrades every M/W/F to make you more UNSHAKEABLE 💌 Drop your email here: ⁠https://2ly.link/27dxJ⁠  🔗 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on socials 🌎 📽 Kristeen’s YouTube: https://2ly.link/27faR   👋 Kristeen’s Instagram: https://2ly.link/27faF  📽 Becc’s YouTube: https://2ly.link/27faP  👋 Becc’s Instagram: https://linkly.link/2FUkz

  3. Sep 29

    111: Maybe you just need better people around you

    Hello, Doctor Humans! 💛 In today’s episode, we’re talking about the power of finding your people and why the communities we choose can have such a huge impact on how we think, grow, and move through life. We explore what happens when we surround ourselves with people who truly get us, support our goals, and reflect the kind of person we want to become. Because sometimes, the right people can change everything. KEY POINTS Why being surrounded by people doesn’t always mean feeling supported or understood. How the right community can create a new standard for what feels possible in our lives. Why can the community help us stay grounded when workplace culture or expectations don’t align with our values? How self-leadership can look like knowing what matters to us and staying steady even when we face pushback. Why doctors may especially benefit from having an alternative community outside the powerful culture of healthcare. How the right people can support us through hard things, big goals, vulnerability, and moments when we feel like giving up. Why community doesn’t have to happen in person, and how study groups, masterminds, coaching spaces, social groups, and online communities can all help us find people who understand us. Why simply being in the right room can help us feel seen, take up space, understand ourselves better, and grow into a new normal. We’d love to hear from you: have you found a community where you feel like you can truly be yourself? And would you be interested in a Doctor Humans community, online space, or even an in-person event someday? Come chat with us and let us know. We’d genuinely love to hear what you think. 💛 📚 Study with Kristeen If you’re preparing for physician exams — or just want to truly understand immunology & renal medicine — start here.  Kristeen’s FREE 7-Day GN Kick-Start Challenge gives you the clarity you wish someone handed you years ago. 👉 Study with Kristeen: https://linktr.ee/renaltutorials More study tools coming soon. 🚀 Transform with Doctor Becc Inside Dare, Darling, Becc helps doctors who change the world tap into their GREATNESS to become an unstoppable force for good. ◽️ Apply for a consult-interview: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linkly.link/2tf1b⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💌 FREE 1-line mindset upgrades every M/W/F to make you more UNSHAKEABLE 💌 Drop your email here: ⁠https://2ly.link/27dxJ⁠  🔗 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on socials 🌎 📽 Kristeen’s YouTube: https://2ly.link/27faR   👋 Kristeen’s Instagram: https://2ly.link/27faF  📽 Becc’s YouTube: https://2ly.link/27faP  👋 Becc’s Instagram: https://linkly.link/2FUkz

  4. Sep 15

    110: These 3 questions might change your life

    Hello, Doctor Humans! In this episode, we’re continuing our conversation about the powerful questions that can help us live a more aligned, authentic life. We’re exploring what it means to keep growing, how to reconnect with joy and truly feel alive, and the big question of what we feel called to do in this life. These aren’t always easy questions to answer, but they can help us move beyond what we should be doing and get closer to what genuinely feels right for us. KEY POINTS Growth isn’t always comfortable or obvious. Sometimes it means letting go of old habits, people-pleasing, expectations, or parts of ourselves that no longer fit. It’s not just about whether we’re progressing, but whether we’re growing in a direction that actually feels aligned with who we are. Joy isn’t only something we think about; it’s something we have to allow ourselves to actually feel and experience in our bodies. Being present helps us notice the small moments of joy, meaning, and fulfillment that we might otherwise overlook. We explore why high achievers can unintentionally delay joy until they’ve reached the next milestone, when joy can actually give us energy along the way. We ask the big question: What did your soul come here to do? Our purpose doesn’t have to be one specific career or achievement. It can be a deeper mission, value, impact, or way we want to show up in the world. We don’t need to have our purpose perfectly figured out. Sometimes we discover it by following what feels meaningful, energizing, and deeply true to us. We’d love for you to reflect with us: Are you growing? When was the last time you truly felt alive? And what do you think you’re here to do? Share your thoughts with us in the comments, and if you haven’t listened to Part One yet, go back and join us for the first three questions too! 📚 Study with Kristeen If you’re preparing for physician exams — or just want to truly understand immunology & renal medicine — start here.  Kristeen’s FREE 7-Day GN Kick-Start Challenge gives you the clarity you wish someone handed you years ago. 👉Grab Your FREE Tutorials: https://linkly.link/2R0lh  More study tools coming soon. 🚀 Transform with Doctor Becc Inside Dare, Darling, Becc helps doctors who change the world tap into their GREATNESS to become an unstoppable force for good. ◽️ Apply for a consult-interview: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linkly.link/2tf1b⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 💌 FREE 1-line mindset upgrades every M/W/F to make you more UNSHAKEABLE 💌 Drop your email here: ⁠https://2ly.link/27dxJ⁠  🔗 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on socials 🌎 📽 Kristeen’s YouTube: https://2ly.link/27faR   👋 Kristeen’s Instagram: https://2ly.link/27faF  📽 Becc’s YouTube: https://2ly.link/27faP  👋 Becc’s Instagram: https://linkly.link/2FUkz

  5. Sep 1

    109: If you really believed life was short, how would you live it? (Part 1)

    Hello, Doctor Humans! In this episode, we're exploring what happens when life suddenly forces us to stop and ask the big questions. Through a deeply personal story, we talk about navigating grief, uncertainty, and the moments that make us rethink how we're living. Together, we share three powerful questions that can help you reconnect with what truly matters and create a life that feels more aligned, intentional, and meaningful. KEY POINTS We discuss how major life events and unexpected transitions can prompt us to reassess our priorities and the way we're living. We reflect on the emotional impact of a devastating diagnosis and how it highlights the fragility and uncertainty of life. We explore why it's important to ask whether we're living for ourselves or for the expectations of others. We unpack the question, "What do we truly want?" and why many of us need time and honesty to discover the answer. We share how following curiosity, adventure, and genuine joy can reveal what an aligned life looks like. We talk about balancing service to others with protecting our own energy, boundaries, and wellbeing. We encourage thinking about time, relationships, and money through the lens of life's limited nature, helping us make more intentional choices. We explain why discomfort is often part of personal growth and why honest self-reflection can lead to meaningful change. We leave you with three reflective questions to sit with before continuing the conversation in the next episode. Which of these questions resonated with you the most? We'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments, or even just an emoji that captures how you're feeling after listening. If this conversation made you pause and reflect, share it with a colleague or friend who might need it too. We can't wait to continue this journey with you in Part 2. 📚 Study with Kristeen If you’re preparing for physician exams — or just want to truly understand immunology & renal medicine — start here.  Kristeen’s FREE 7-Day GN Kick-Start Challenge gives you the clarity you wish someone handed you years ago. 👉Grab Your FREE Tutorials: https://linkly.link/2R0lh  More study tools coming soon. 💜 Work with Dr Becc Inside Dare, Darling, Becc helps good doctors tap into their GREATNESS to become an unstoppable force for good. ◽️ Apply for a consult-interview: ⁠⁠https://linkly.link/2tf1b⁠⁠ 💌 Want FREE 1-line mindset upgrades every M/W/F to make you more UNSHAKEABLE? 💌 Just drop your email here: https://2ly.link/27dxJ  🔗 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on socials 🌎 📽 Kristeen’s YouTube: https://2ly.link/27faR   👋 Kristeen’s Instagram: https://2ly.link/27faF  📽 Becc’s YouTube: https://2ly.link/27faP  👋 Becc’s Instagram: https://linkly.link/2FUkz

  6. Aug 18

    108: The hard that grows you vs. the hard that drains you

    Hello, Doctor Humans! 💛 In today's episode, we're talking about something we don't hear often enough: not every hard thing is making us stronger. As doctors, we're taught to believe that struggle is part of growth, but sometimes hard is just... hard. We explore the difference between the challenges that help us grow and the ones that simply drain us, and why recognizing that difference can change the way we care for ourselves and each other. KEY POINTS Why we've been conditioned to believe that harder always means better. The difference between the hard that helps us grow and the hard that simply takes from us. How sleep deprivation, heavy workloads, and service demands can lead to unnecessary suffering rather than meaningful growth. Why struggling doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. How self-recognition and self-validation can help quiet self-judgment during difficult seasons. Why comparing yourself to others or past generations only adds unnecessary pressure. How to challenge unhealthy workplace norms while staying true to your own values. Practical ways to recognize when it's time to protect yourself instead of pushing harder. If this conversation resonated with you, we'd love to hear from you. Share your biggest takeaway in the comments, or tell us about a time you realized that a difficult season wasn't helping you grow, it was simply asking too much of you. If you know another doctor or healthcare professional who needs this reminder, please share this episode with them. And don't forget to subscribe so you never miss a conversation with us. 💛 📚 Study with Kristeen If you’re preparing for physician exams — or just want to truly understand immunology & renal medicine — start here.  Kristeen’s FREE 7-Day GN Kick-Start Challenge gives you the clarity you wish someone handed you years ago. 👉Grab Your FREE Tutorials: https://linkly.link/2R0lh  More study tools coming soon. 💜 Work with Dr Becc Inside Dare, Darling, Becc helps good doctors tap into their GREATNESS to become an unstoppable force for good. ◽️ Apply for a consult-interview: ⁠⁠https://linkly.link/2tf1b⁠⁠ 💌 Want FREE 1-line mindset upgrades every M/W/F to make you more UNSHAKEABLE? 💌 Just drop your email here: https://2ly.link/27dxJ  🔗 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on socials 🌎 📽 Kristeen’s YouTube: https://2ly.link/27faR   👋 Kristeen’s Instagram: https://2ly.link/27faF  📽 Becc’s YouTube: https://2ly.link/27faP  👋 Becc’s Instagram: https://linkly.link/2FUkz

  7. Aug 4

    107: Are you a ‘Cry-er’? Realistic energy management for Doctors.

    Hello, Doctor Humans! 💛 Today, we're diving into something so many doctors (and humans) experience but rarely talk about: those moments when stress quietly builds until it spills over into tears, anxiety, or snapping at the people around us. We're sharing a new way to think about emotional overwhelm, why it isn't a sign of weakness, and practical tools to help you regulate your energy before you reach breaking point. KEY POINTS Why crying under pressure isn't a personality flaw or a sign that you're "not coping." How stress quietly accumulates throughout the day until it reaches a tipping point. The difference between compassionate tears and stress-induced emotional overwhelm. Why doctors often ignore early signs of stress in the name of productivity. Using a simple stress scale (0 to 5) to recognize when it's time to pause before reaching burnout. Practical ways to regulate your nervous system during a busy workday, even when you can't step away for long. How movement, laughter, nature, music, and even crying can help complete the stress cycle. Why staying in a regulated state helps us care for our patients, perform under pressure, and show up as the kind of doctor we want to be. Reframing emotional moments with compassion instead of self-judgment. Why monitoring our energy is a skill that gives us more control, not another thing to perfect. We'd love to hear your thoughts after listening. Have you ever experienced stress building up until it came out as tears, frustration, or overwhelm? What helps you reset when you notice you're reaching your limit? Share your experiences in the comments, and if this episode resonates with you, send it to a colleague or friend who could use the reminder that looking after ourselves isn't a luxury, it's part of becoming the best doctor and human we can be. ❤️ 📚 Study with Kristeen If you’re preparing for physician exams — or just want to truly understand immunology & renal medicine — start here.  Kristeen’s FREE 7-Day GN Kick-Start Challenge gives you the clarity you wish someone handed you years ago. 👉Grab Your FREE Tutorials: https://linkly.link/2R0lh  More study tools coming soon. 💜 Work with Dr Becc Inside Dare, Darling, Becc helps good doctors tap into their GREATNESS to become an unstoppable force for good. ◽️ Apply for a consult-interview: ⁠⁠https://linkly.link/2tf1b⁠⁠ 💌 Want FREE 1-line mindset upgrades every M/W/F to make you more UNSHAKEABLE? 💌 Just drop your email here: https://2ly.link/27dxJ  🔗 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on socials 🌎 📽 Kristeen’s YouTube: https://2ly.link/27faR   👋 Kristeen’s Instagram: https://2ly.link/27faF  📽 Becc’s YouTube: https://2ly.link/27faP  👋 Becc’s Instagram: https://linkly.link/2FUkz

  8. Jul 21

    106: How to live fully, no matter what life throws at you with Nina Gervase

    Hello, Doctor Humans! 💛 In this episode, we're joined by the incredible Nina Gervase for a deeply moving conversation about grief, resilience, mindset, and what it truly means to live life to the fullest. Together, we explore the lessons that come from navigating terminal illness, the doctor-patient relationship, and how we can choose intention, gratitude, and hope, even in life's hardest moments. Whether you're a healthcare professional or simply someone wanting to live more fully, we hope this conversation leaves you inspired. KEY POINTS Nina shares her family's journey after her late husband, Steve, was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour and the extraordinary mindset that helped him live well beyond expectations. We discuss the balance between honest medical conversations and preserving hope for patients and their families. Why planning for the worst while hoping for the best can create space to truly live in the present. How grief and joy can coexist, and why embracing both is an important part of the healing journey. The power of choosing gratitude, intention, and presence in everyday life. Nina explains how simple daily practices, like journaling and reflection, can help us live more intentionally. We talk about overcoming fear, reinventing ourselves, and asking, "Why the hell shouldn't I?" Encouragement for doctors, and all of us, to meet people where they are, recognising that every person's journey through illness and grief is unique. We'd love to hear what resonated with you most from this conversation. Have you experienced a moment that changed the way you see life, gratitude, or purpose? Share your thoughts in the comments, and if you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use this message today. 🩷 Connect with Nina Gervase Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carelifecoaching/ Website: https://carelifecoaching.com/agent-mastermind The Nina Gervase Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-nina-gervase-show/id1878126850 📚 Study with Kristeen If you’re preparing for physician exams — or just want to truly understand immunology & renal medicine — start here.  Kristeen’s FREE 7-Day GN Kick-Start Challenge gives you the clarity you wish someone handed you years ago. 👉Grab Your FREE Tutorials: https://linkly.link/2R0lh  More study tools coming soon. 🚀 Work with Doctor Becc Inside Dare, Darling, Becc helps good doctors tap into their GREATNESS to become an unstoppable force for good. ◽️ Apply for a consult-interview: ⁠⁠https://linkly.link/2tf1b⁠⁠ 💌 Want FREE 1-line mindset upgrades every M/W/F to make you more UNSHAKEABLE? 💌 Just drop your email here: https://2ly.link/27dxJ  🔗 Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on socials 🌎 📽 Kristeen’s YouTube: https://2ly.link/27faR   👋 Kristeen’s Instagram: https://2ly.link/27faF  📽 Becc’s YouTube: https://2ly.link/27faP  👋 Becc’s Instagram: https://linkly.link/2FUkz

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5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

In "Am I Doing It Wrong?” Doctor Becc & Kristeen Barker have the vulnerable conversations all doctors need to remind us "You're not crazy, life as a doctor is". You'll feel seen & connected again & you'll also get actionable strategies to be able to show up as your favourite version of you as a doctor regardless of the daily challenges. Dr Kristeen Barker, nephrologist at Alfred Health, runs online medical education courses for physicians & trainees. Doctor Becc (Dr Rebecca Nothrop) is coach & host of Dare, Darling—a transformative group coaching program for doctors who are people-pleasers.

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