The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way®️

Jen Barnes
  • 5.0 (6)
  • ENTREPRENEURSHIP
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way is a podcast for ADHD Women Entrepreneurs who are ready to overcome the inner and outer challenges of ADHD and break free from neurotypical rules and expectations to create a business that works with their ADHD brain. Together we’ll explore our unique ADHD brains and how to work with them effectively, with ADHD-specific tools and strategies so that you can create and build a meaningful and prosperous business (and life) you love. The Self-Loved Woman Way is hosted by Jen Barnes, MSW, LICSW, RYT500, TCTSY-F, a clinical social worker and psychotherapist turned ADHD Entrepreneur coach and educator. She has a passion for working with women who are late-diagnosed or self-diagnosed ADHD as well as those who are ADHD adjacent. Prior to becoming a clinical social worker and psychotherapist specializing in complex trauma, Jen was an actuarial analyst for nearly four years for a large Minnesota-based company working in retirement plans. She has a Bachelors of Science in Mathematics with a concentration in Actuarial Science and a minor in Computer Science, that started out as an accounting degree with numerous business courses. An entrepreneur herself, she owns and operates two business - one, a full time private psychotherapy practice (since 2014) and the other a Digital Business empowering ADHD women entrepreneurs to move beyond ADHD challenges and create a business that replaces their full time income in 12 months. Jen’s unique blend of education and experiences as an ADHD woman and psychotherapist coupled with her history and experience in business offers a special twist on navigating the world of entrepreneurship as an ADHD woman. Further, her expertise in serving women with complex trauma histories offering an additional, deeper layer to the work of overcoming the pain and even trauma of growing up ADHD in a world not designed for us. This podcast is a fantastic place to embrace your ADHD (yes, even the challenges), explore ADHD specific ways to work and live in this neurotypcial society, and learn ADHD specific strategies for creating and growing your own business so you can have the time and energy to do more of what you love.

  1. What Late ADHD Diagnosis Actually Feels Like

    6D AGO

    What Late ADHD Diagnosis Actually Feels Like

    Sometimes the moment that changes everything doesn’t feel dramatic at first. -> It might look like filling out paperwork for your child. -> A therapist asking a question you weren’t expecting. -> Or a quiet realization that something about your life has always felt harder than it seems to be for everyone else. For many women, ADHD isn’t discovered in childhood. It’s discovered decades later… after years of pushing through exhaustion, emotional overwhelm, and executive function struggles that never quite made sense. When the nervous system has been carrying that much pressure for that long, the moment things finally click can feel equal parts relief, grief, and disbelief. I recently asked women in my community what it was like to discover their ADHD later in life. Their stories revealed something that I see often in my work supporting ADHD women navigating burnout, emotional regulation, and trauma-informed healing. But there was one theme running quietly underneath all of their experiences that caught my attention… And once you see it, you may not be able to unsee it either. In this episode: • The surprising ways ADHD in women often goes unnoticed • The emotional shift that can happen when decades suddenly make sense • Why over-functioning and high achievement can hide executive function struggles • The moment many women realize their nervous system has been working overtime You’ll hear me tell real stories, from real women about late diagnosis.  And you might just see yourself in one of them.  Be sure to listen.   Mentioned in the episode, join my email club here: https://jenbarnes.kit.com/email-club    —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Why Women Miss ADHD 00:58 Podcast Welcome 01:36 April Therapist Spots It 04:09 Kim Child Diagnosis Clue 06:44 SS Lifelong Signs 10:21 When Competence Hides It 12:51 My Late Diagnosis Story 15:20 Patterns Across Stories 16:38 Closing Support Invitation   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

    17 min
  2. ADHD Mindfulness That Actually Works

    MAR 4

    ADHD Mindfulness That Actually Works

    There’s a moment when someone says “just meditate” and your whole body tightens. Because you’ve tried. You’ve sat there. You’ve gotten more distracted. More frustrated. More convinced that mindfulness just isn’t for your ADHD brain. But what if the problem was never you? So many high-achieving ADHD women are stuck in burnout cycles, emotional overwhelm, and nervous system dysregulation — and then handed tools that were never adapted for executive function differences or trauma-informed care. Traditional mindfulness can unintentionally reinforce shame when it’s framed as “clear your mind” or “sit still.” When we understand ADHD neurobiology and how attention regulation actually works, mindfulness becomes something very different. It becomes a tool for nervous system regulation. For widening the space between stimulus and response. For interrupting reactivity before it spirals into overcommitment, shutdown, or emotional flooding. And when practiced in an ADHD-aligned way, it can strengthen the exact executive function skills many of us struggle with — without demanding perfection. But there’s one subtle shift most people never hear about… and without it, mindfulness will continue to feel impossible. • Why “quiet your mind” is the wrong goal • The attention muscle most ADHD women aren’t training • Nervous system regulation vs. forced calm • The moment that changes everything What if the distraction isn’t failure… but the actual doorway? ✨Mentioned in the Episode In this episode I mentioned the free app Insight Timer.  There are tens of thousands of free guided meditations as well as a timer.  Find it in the app store that your phone has.  Or, find it here:  https://insighttimer.com/   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 ADHD Mindfulness Reframed 00:41 Podcast Welcome and Who Its For 01:44 Why Traditional Mindfulness Fails 03:06 Benefits for the ADHD Brain 05:34 Start Small Drop Expectations 07:32 External Focus 5-4-3-2-1 09:05 Mindful Objects and Distraction 10:35 Movement Based Mindfulness 13:43 When You Dont Notice Drift 15:20 Guided and Seated Meditation 18:12 Breath Focus One Minute Demo 20:23 Visualization and Mantra Options 22:15 Alternate Nostril Breathing 26:02 Wrap Up and Call to Action   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

    28 min
  3. The Panic Before the Breakthrough

    FEB 25

    The Panic Before the Breakthrough

    You ever notice how everything seems to wobble or get messy right when it’s supposed to be your breakthrough moment? The week I was supposed to feel powerful, aligned, expansive… I spiraled. Money panic. Identity panic. “Did I just sabotage the year?” panic. And beneath all of it was something far more revealing than I expected. If you’re an ADHD woman who looks capable on the outside but feels emotional overwhelm on the inside, this conversation is going to hit. Because when we start shifting our relationship with money, burnout, trauma healing, or even stepping into aligned action, our nervous system doesn’t always respond with calm. It often responds with fight-or-flight. Executive function gets noisy. Old patterns flare. It can feel like regression when it’s actually reorganization. And for high-achieving women, especially those of us navigating ADHD and nervous system dysregulation, internal wobble often gets mislabeled as failure. But what if the panic wasn’t a setback? What if it was the exact signal that something deeper is restructuring? And how do you know the difference? Tune in for answers to those questions and more!   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Money Spiral During a ‘Powerful’ New Moon Week 00:47 Why High-Achieving ADHD Women Read Wobble as Failure 01:45 Welcome + What This Podcast Is About 02:23 Jen’s First Panic Memory & This Week’s Money Trigger 04:51 The Deeper Fear Under the Freakout (and the Nervous System’s Need for Certainty) 06:46 Coach Reality Check: ‘What If This Is Part of It?’ 07:39 Growth Feels Like Disorientation: Unmasking, Grief, and the ‘Extinction Burst’ 10:24 Sacred Geometry & Finding Meaning Without Spiritual Bypassing 14:17 Panic Before a Breakthrough: The Biology of Identity Shifts 15:09 How to Work With Panic: Name It, Titrate, Build Self-Trust 18:07 Let It Be Messy: Curiosity, Next Steps, and What You’re Shedding 22:08 Wrap-Up + What’s Coming Next on the Podcast   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

    23 min
  4. How to Act Without Burning Yourself Out - Part 5

    FEB 18

    How to Act Without Burning Yourself Out - Part 5

    What if staying outraged isn’t the only way to care? When everything feels urgent, unstable, and unfair… something inside of us wants to respond. But here’s the tension: survival mode isn’t sustainable. And neither is burning yourself out trying to fix everything - problems of the world and our country that have been created over centuries. In this final episode of the When the World Feels Like Too Much series, we’re exploring a different kind of response. Not frantic. Not performative. Not fueled purely by fear or rage. Aligned. This conversation is about capacity, nervous system protection, and why the “right” action isn’t the loudest one (though it certainly can be). It’s about honoring your ways to contribute instead of trying to do them all. If you’ve been feeling the pressure to do more, be more, shout louder, show up harder — and you’re exhausted — this episode is for you. There is a way to meet this moment without losing yourself in it. Press play. ✨ Mentioned in the Episode - Ways to Support Minnesota Especially people in black and brown bodies who do not feel safe leaving their homes - and haven’t for months Both of these sites have multiple ways to offer mutual aid: https://www.standwithminnesota.com/ https://naswmn.socialworkers.org/News/Community-Resources   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 When the World Feels Like Too Much: From Survival Mode to Aligned Action 01:31 Why Action Helps Trauma: Completing the Fight/Flight Cycle (Katrina Story) 03:56 Safety First: When Protective States Are Necessary 06:18 Capacity, Burnout & the “Orchestra” Metaphor: You Can’t Play Every Instrument 10:54 Effective Action Ideas: Protests, Privilege, and Finding Your Role 15:25 Mutual Aid in Practice: Donating, Groceries, Rides, and Supporting Families 19:47 Speak Truth, Not Rumors: Choosing Reliable Sources & Sharing Responsibly 23:15 Compassion + Accountability: Staying Human in a Polarized Time 25:51 The Deepest Work: Inner Healing to Build the World We Want 30:19 Closing Encouragement: Do What You Can, Stay in the Marathon     ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

    33 min
  5. The Missing Layer of Care You Might Be Skipping

    FEB 11

    The Missing Layer of Care You Might Be Skipping

    When life feels overwhelming, most of us go into survival mode. We focus on getting through the day. We try to rest when we can. We tell ourselves we’ll take better care of ourselves later. But what if something essential quietly disappears during hard times — without us realizing it? In this fourth episode of the When the World Feels Like Too Much series, we explore a layer of care that many ADHD women lose first when stress is high… and why its absence can leave you feeling disconnected, depleted, and numb — even when you’re “doing all the right things.” This conversation isn’t about fixing yourself, optimizing self-care, or adding more to your plate. It’s about remembering what sustains you when the world feels heavy — and why small moments matter more than you think. 🎧 Listen in if you’ve been coping… but feel like something is missing.   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: Surviving vs. Living 00:22 The Importance of Nourishment 01:42 Welcome to the Podcast 02:24 Personal Struggles with Nourishment 03:43 Physical Nourishment 04:46 Emotional Nourishment 05:36 Relational Nourishment 08:26 Spiritual Nourishment 11:16 Small Acts of Nourishment 12:51 Conclusion: Staying Human   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

    18 min
  6. What Your Nervous System Needs Right Now

    FEB 4

    What Your Nervous System Needs Right Now

    When life feels overwhelming, it’s not just your thoughts that are affected. It’s your nervous system. In this third episode of the When the World Feels Like Too Much series, we go beneath sleep and movement to the foundation underneath them both: how your nervous system responds to stress, threat, and uncertainty. This episode isn’t about calming down or forcing yourself to feel better. It’s about understanding what your nervous system is doing right now — and why your reactions make sense given what you’re living through. We’ll explore why survival states like fight, flight, freeze, and shutdown become more active during hard times, why “just relaxing” often doesn’t work, and how small moments of safety and regulation can help without forcing stillness or positivity. This episode is about working with your nervous system instead of fighting it. ✨ Next up in the series: The Missing Layer of Care You Might Be Skipping   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction to Overwhelm and the Nervous System 00:20 Series Overview and Previous Episodes Recap 00:51 Today's Focus: Understanding the Nervous System 01:31 Welcome and Host Introduction 02:30 Deep Dive into Nervous System Regulation 02:53 Polyvagal Theory Explained 04:03 Fight, Flight, and Freeze Responses 05:58 Coping with Current Events and Trauma 08:27 Feeling and Processing Emotions 24:27 Practical Coping Tools and Techniques 29:23 Conclusion and Final Thoughts   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/    DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

    30 min
  7. How to Move When Everything Feels Like Too Much

    JAN 28

    How to Move When Everything Feels Like Too Much

    When life feels overwhelming, movement is often the first thing to fall off—not because you don’t know it helps, but because your system doesn’t have the capacity to initiate it. In this episode, we continue the When the World Feels Like Too Much series by rethinking movement through a nervous-system-informed and ADHD-honoring lens. This is not an episode about exercise routines, motivation, or discipline. It’s about why movement feels so hard during stressful seasons—and how to work with your body instead of pushing against it. We’ll explore why overwhelm shuts movement down, the mistake of treating movement like exercise, and how even small, gentle forms of movement can help regulate the nervous system and support ADHD functioning. This episode is about making movement possible again—without pressure, shame, or burnout. ✨ Next up in the series: What Your Nervous System Needs Right Now   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: When the World Feels Heavy 00:09 Series Overview: When the World Feels Like Too Much 00:35 Today's Focus: Movement and ADHD 01:36 Understanding the Struggle with Movement 03:25 Redefining Movement for Regulation 04:38 Practical Tips for Gentle Movement 06:04 Listening to Your Body 08:55 Conclusion and Next Episode Preview   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

    10 min
  8. How to Protect Sleep During Hard Times

    JAN 21

    How to Protect Sleep During Hard Times

    This part 1 of my five part series:  When the World Feels Like Too Much. When the world feels overwhelming—personally or collectively—sleep is often the first thing to fall apart. In this episode, we begin a five-part series on how to care for yourself when life feels heavy, unstable, or unsafe. We start with sleep—not because it’s easy, but because it’s foundational. We’ll explore why stress disrupts sleep so quickly, why ADHD brains are especially impacted by poor rest, and why trying harder to sleep often backfires. This episode offers a nervous-system-informed approach to rest that’s realistic, flexible, and compassionate—especially during hard seasons. This is not about perfect sleep routines or fixing yourself. It’s about protecting your capacity and giving your system enough rest to get through what you’re living in—without losing yourself. ✨ Next up in the series: How to Move When Everything Feels Like Too Much   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Impact of Stress on Sleep 00:29 Series Overview: When the World Feels Like Too Much 01:58 Welcome to the Self Loved ADHD Woman's Way Podcast 02:44 Why Focus on Sleep First? 04:34 The Importance of Sleep Hygiene 20:39 Advanced Sleep Strategies 28:20 Dealing with Poor Sleep Nights 31:38 Conclusion and Next Episode Preview   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

    32 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
6 Ratings

About

The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way is a podcast for ADHD Women Entrepreneurs who are ready to overcome the inner and outer challenges of ADHD and break free from neurotypical rules and expectations to create a business that works with their ADHD brain. Together we’ll explore our unique ADHD brains and how to work with them effectively, with ADHD-specific tools and strategies so that you can create and build a meaningful and prosperous business (and life) you love. The Self-Loved Woman Way is hosted by Jen Barnes, MSW, LICSW, RYT500, TCTSY-F, a clinical social worker and psychotherapist turned ADHD Entrepreneur coach and educator. She has a passion for working with women who are late-diagnosed or self-diagnosed ADHD as well as those who are ADHD adjacent. Prior to becoming a clinical social worker and psychotherapist specializing in complex trauma, Jen was an actuarial analyst for nearly four years for a large Minnesota-based company working in retirement plans. She has a Bachelors of Science in Mathematics with a concentration in Actuarial Science and a minor in Computer Science, that started out as an accounting degree with numerous business courses. An entrepreneur herself, she owns and operates two business - one, a full time private psychotherapy practice (since 2014) and the other a Digital Business empowering ADHD women entrepreneurs to move beyond ADHD challenges and create a business that replaces their full time income in 12 months. Jen’s unique blend of education and experiences as an ADHD woman and psychotherapist coupled with her history and experience in business offers a special twist on navigating the world of entrepreneurship as an ADHD woman. Further, her expertise in serving women with complex trauma histories offering an additional, deeper layer to the work of overcoming the pain and even trauma of growing up ADHD in a world not designed for us. This podcast is a fantastic place to embrace your ADHD (yes, even the challenges), explore ADHD specific ways to work and live in this neurotypcial society, and learn ADHD specific strategies for creating and growing your own business so you can have the time and energy to do more of what you love.

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