Self-Represented in Family Court

Tracey Bee, Pro Se Family Court Strategist
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We discuss how to use strategy in Family Court to get the results you want. A family law professional with twenty years of experience in the field will share with you what really matters in Family Court.   Whether you are going through divorce or custody, if you are representing yourself you need to know the tactics that will end the torment you have been enduring up until this point.  We will share tips, tricks, techniques, and everything else that your lawyer will never divulge. If you have been getting disappointment from lawyers, the judge, or the overall process, tune in to get help on plotting your next move. Visit www.thedivorcesolutionist.com to download the FREE "Are You Pro Se Material" e-guide & workbook.  Listen to each episode for free worksheets, tip sheets and much more.  Sign up to receive our newsletter for discounts, specials, upcoming workshops and updates to our services. Services we offer:     ->1-2-1 Monthly Consultation package     ->Trial Preparation & Evidence Organization Services     ->Unbundled Services: Uncontested Divorce, Document Prep, Document   Review, Legal Research,  Background Search, Judge Lookup, Attorney Screen/Vet     ->Mediation Service      ->Process Servers*Follow me on social media @TheDivorceSolutionist or @FamilyCourtStrategist

  1. 6D AGO

    Season 3. Episode 8 You Might be Ready, But You're NOT Prepared

    862.800.7850 You are not prepared for Family Court. You might be ready, but you are NOT prepared, at least most of you aren’t. You might have gathered all the proof you can, gotten familiar with the laws, might have even hired the best lawyer for the job. But NONE of these things actually prepare you the way you need to be prepared for the bewildering experience of Family Court. Well, It's time to change that because you don’t have another month of the duress, or more mental capacity for the stress or extra money to waste on getting nothing done.   In this episode, we delve into the nuances of maneuvering through the maze of family court. Whether you have legal representation or are braving the battlefield pro se, you'll uncover the vital importance of strategy in every court appearance and filing. This episode peels back the curtain on the strategy needed to navigate the family court system effectively. From understanding court biases to preparing for the unpredictable, I share insight into the discipline of plotting your legal course with precision and deliberation. It's not just about knowing the law; it's about mastering the chessboard of the courtroom. Timestamp overview: 00:00 Have specific and strategic goals in court. 06:24 Evident strategy critical for legal success. Assess life. 10:14 Prioritize current circumstances, motives, and strategies. 12:57 Determining the real motives and strategizing. 15:31 Strategic thinking involves gathering and analyzing information. 18:57 Anticipate actions, prepare ahead of time. 23:34 Focus on meaningful questions, avoid unnecessary details. 26:46 Speak purposefully, judges appreciate it more. Cut unnecessary talk. 31:37 Prepare for different outcomes, always have backup. 32:08 Plan, prioritize, and focus on child's best interest. 35:53 Insight into other party's motives at different stages. As you start to pay more attention to the "subtleties" or the "subs" you will come to see what you have been ignoring all along. This episode will equip you with the skillset to shift from a passive participant to a formidable strategist. If you're in way too deep to give up now but need help to figure out exactly what's going wrong, feel free to take the FREE Diagnostic Assessement. This Assessment will help you identify the gaps causing you the most "bleeding" so that you can cut it off at the root.  Use this link to start right now.  Don't miss out on next week's episode, as we contin Support the show Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field. Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own? We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes. To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

    38 min

  2. FEB 4

    Your Case is Losing Traction & You Have No Idea Why | Season 3 Episode 7

    862.800.7850 In this episode of “Self-Represented in Family Court”, Tracey Bee breaks down a common (and frustrating) reality: your case can lose traction even when you have “strong evidence.” Why? Because in Family Court, outcomes often hinge less on how much you have, and more on how you position and present your case, how you manage timing, and whether your narrative matches what the court can actually act on. This is a practical episode focused on helping you stop guessing, stop reacting emotionally, and start approaching your next move with strategy. What You’ll Learn Why “more evidence” isn’t automatically persuasive (and when it can backfire);The difference between evidence and admissible, relevant evidence in proper format;Why “fairness” is not the standard family court is built around;How lawyers (and others) can unintentionally derail you by telling you what you want to hear;The 3 traction drivers: accountability, timing, and narrative;Why nothing in Family Court is isolated, and why your decisions must reflect the bigger picture;What to watch for: patterns, motives, agendas, and external factors impacting key players. Key Takeaways Surface isn’t the system. What you think is happening may not be what’s actually driving the decision.“Entitled to” doesn’t mean “you’ll get it.” The law and real-world outcomes aren’t the same thing.Fairness isn’t the framework. Family court is about rules, procedure, discretion, and what’s actionable.Your case doesn’t move on volume. It moves on relevance, clarity, format, and strategy. Next Step ✅ Take the Diagnostic Assessment here (recommended if you want clarity on what’s weakening your positioning/presentation) ✅ Book a 1-Hour Strategy Session Here ✅ Subscribe / Follow the podcast Here Support the show Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field. Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own? We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes. To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

    24 min

  3. 12/10/2025 · BONUS

    Season Break

    862.800.7850 This time of year I usually take a break to decompress.  So right now I am working on clearing my mind while at the same time gearing up for 2026. I am still working though so if you need to schedule a strategy session, need help preparing for court or want me to assist with trial preparation, feel free to reach out to me at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com. Happy Holidays Take care, Support the show Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field. Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own? We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes. To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

    18 sec

  4. 11/26/2025

    Season 3. Ep 6. The Perils of Over-Documenting Evidence

    862.800.7850 Most people think the more evidence you bring to court, the better.  But in family court? That approach can destroy your credibility. In this episode, Tracey explains why judges ignore evidence, how opposing counsel gets it thrown out, and how to present your case strategically so your key proof actually gets seen. A must-listen for anyone gathering screenshots, texts, videos, or emails for court. 💡 What You’ll Learn: Why over-documenting can sabotage your caseHow opposing counsel challenges your documentationHow to think like a strategist, not a collector Episode timestamps (00:00) Intro (02:00) Why gathering “everything” creates a false sense of security (09:37) When the judge ignores your evidence entirely (11:46) The judge has 100% discretion — not you (12:54) Why “tons of evidence” may not matter at all (17:13) The real strategy: present, don’t just collect (17:59) Know your judge — what they care about, and what they ignore (19:05) Intent vs. outcome: documenting with strategy (20:00) Stop guessing what your judge wants — know (21:16) You must understand all the key players, not just the law (22:15) Why do you need strategy guidance before presenting evidence (23:44) Time to regroup: the smarter way to build your case (24:54) How strategy sessions help you position your case (25:04) Closing thoughts and next steps  Support the show Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field. Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own? We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes. To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

    25 min

  5. 11/12/2025

    Season 3. Ep 5. Reframing: It IS What You Said AND HOW You Said It

    862.800.7850 Ever walked out of a courtroom thinking, “What just happened in there?” You told the truth. You stayed calm. You presented your evidence — and somehow, the judge still didn’t get it. If that sounds like you, this episode is your reality check — and your roadmap out. In this episode, Tracey Bee, breaks down one of her most important strategies: reframing. Because in family court, it’s not just what you say — it’s how you say it, how you think about it, and how you present it that determines whether the judge actually listens (and believes) you. 💡 What You’ll Learn: Why family court doesn’t care about your emotions — and what it does care aboutHow to use reframing to shift your narrative and credibility in front of a judgeThe difference between reaction and strategy — and how one wins casesHow “victim language” and emotional framing can hurt your credibilityReal-life examples of reframes that turn frustration into persuasionWhy professionals in court mirror your tone, language, and logicHow to prepare mentally before your next hearingEpisode timestamps (00:00) Intro (01:41) Today’s Topic: Reframing  (02:34) Why “Truth + Calm” Still Fails in Court  (03:34) Emotions, Trauma & Hypersensitivity  (04:09) Courts Don’t Weigh Emotions—Logic Reigns  (06:27) Custody Timeline: Why You’re Not “Done” Yet  (08:45) Your Narrative Sets the Tone (“Best Interest” Myth)  (10:07) Reaction vs. Strategy  (11:25) The Underdog Reality: Courtroom Dynamics  (15:30) Unhelpful Frames to Drop (Victim, Blame, Defensive)  (18:16) Reframe #1: “Judge Doesn’t Care About Truth” → Tailor Your Story  (19:22) Reframe #2: “They’re Turning the Kids Against Me” → Describe Changes Factually  (20:08) Reframe #3: “Court Ignores My Evidence” → Pick Persuasive Exhibits  (20:39) Practice & Role-Play Offers  (22:14) Reframe #4: “My Lawyer Didn’t Fight” → Fix the Gaps  (23:33) Reframe #5: “The System Is Unfair” → Accept, Adapt, Act  (26:38) Outro  Support the show Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field. Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own? We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes. To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

    27 min

  6. 10/29/2025

    Season 3. Ep 4. Analyzing Court Rulings to Move Your Case Forward

    862.800.7850 Tracey Bee breaks down how to turn court rulings, whether wins, losses, or partial decisions, into strategic data points you can actually use to finally move your case forward. She explains how to read between the lines of your judge’s orders, spot behavioral patterns, and use those clues to predict future outcomes and strategically plot your next move. Learn how to identify what your judge rewards, what language exposes their bias or reveals their mindset, and how to use their unfavorable rulings as strategic leverage in future filings. And if you’re in Northern NJ, listen for details about upcoming in-person events and strategy session giveaways during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Episode timestamps 0:00–2:00 Intro & purpose of analyzing rulings2:00–5:00 Why you must get and review every written order5:00–9:00 What rulings reveal about your judge’s mindset9:00–12:00 Emotional reactions vs. strategic responses12:00–15:00 Reading language clues in your rulings (“cooperate,” “high conflict,” “trial recommended”)15:00–18:00 How the judge perceives you vs. the other party18:00–21:00 When orders are vague and why transcripts matter21:00–24:00 Using rulings to detect judicial patterns and preferences24:00–27:00 How to turn court intel into preemptive moves27:00–29:00 Survivors, DV awareness, and regaining power in family court29:00–End Closing thoughts & Domestic Violence Awareness Month call-to-action Top takeaways (actionable) Always get a copy of every ruling or order. It’s your data, not just paperwork.Treat rulings as intel, not verdicts. They reveal patterns, biases, and the judge’s “logic system.”Analyze the language. Phrases like “high conflict,” “both parties must cooperate,” or “best resolved at trial” reveal the judge’s positioning and fatigue level.If denied, don’t react—analyze. Every denial can inform your next filing, tone, and evidence approach.Transcripts > Orders. Transcripts show tone, reasoning, and attitude—critical for strategy and appeals.Use this insight to anticipate—not react to—the court. Strategy always beats emotion. Quick Ruling Analysis Checklist Get a copy of every order—never rely on memory or your attorney.Highlight any descriptive language (e.g., “agitated,” “cooperative,” “communication issues”).Note how your judge handles continuances, coSupport the show Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field. Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own? We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes. To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

    31 min

  7. 10/15/2025

    Season 3. Ep 3. How to Get — and Keep — a Restraining Order That Actually Protects You

    862.800.7850 Tracey Bee breaks down civil vs. criminal restraining orders as it relates to Family Court issues.  She also goes into things like why requests get denied, and how to build a stronger application if you’re self‑represented or working with counsel.  Learn what judges need to see, how to present testimony, what evidence matters, and options if an order is denied  And if you're in northern NJ liste  for details for a FREE in person event where she'l  be guving away free gifts, free strategy sessions and prizes.    Episode timestamps - 0:00–2:00 Intro & Domestic Violence Awareness Month   - 2:00–9:00 Civil vs. criminal orders; why each matters   - 9:00–13:00 Preparing to file: know the judge & local process   - 13:00–20:00 What to prove: incident + fear; avoid misuse   - 20:00–27:00 Best evidence & how to testify effectively   - 27:00–32:44 Next steps, NJ event (Oct 25, Jersey City) & booking strategy sessions - 32:26 Outro Top takeaways (actionable) - Prepare before you file: learn local rules, know the judge, and gather admissible evidence.   - Prioritize police reports, medical records, time‑stamped photos/videos, credible witnesses, and authenticated messages.   - Speak from emotion (clear, focused narrative) not with uncontrolled emotion; presentation influences judges.   - If denied, consider alternative filings (civil vs. criminal) and use denials strategically in custody/divorce matters.   - Contact DV advocates and observe court to identify judges who handle DV requests.   Quick evidence checklist Police report(s), medical records (source of injury), time/date-stamped photos/videos, authenticated audio/screenshots, credible witnesses, CPS records (if kids involved).   Resources & CTA - Book a strategy session at thedivorcesolutionist.com (store → strategy sessions).   - NJ listeners: In-person DV Awareness Walk — Oct 25, Lincoln Park, Jersey City (15‑minute on‑site strategy sessions).   - Visit www.thedivorcesolutionist.com for more resources. Support the show Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field. Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own? We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes. To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

    33 min

  8. 10/01/2025

    Season 3 - Episode 2: Strategy Destroyed: How the Blind Spots in Family Court Ruins Your Case

    862.800.7850 Most litigants lose in Family Court for reasons they never even see coming. In this episode, I’m breaking down the hidden blind spots that can quietly sabotage your case—even when you think it’s airtight. Whether you’re representing yourself, stuck between attorneys, or even working with that so-called “bulldog” lawyer, these blind spots show up. We’re going to talk about tunnel vision, overconfidence, misunderstanding procedure, misjudging your specific judge, underestimating opposing counsel, and even letting your emotions run the show. I’ll show you how these traps form, and more importantly, how you can close them before they destroy your case. You’ll also hear why pages of receipts don’t equal a strategy, how two cases that look the same on paper can require totally different approaches, and why I always say Family Court is 80% strategy and only 20% law or procedure. I’ll give you practical fixes you can start using this week—how to research your state’s procedural rules, how to read your judge’s preferences, ways to anticipate your opponent’s next move, and how to keep your emotions in check so your strategy stays sharp. 📍 Episode Timeline00:00 — Welcome + why blind spots sink even “airtight” cases01:00 — Out-leveled: when judges & opponents play chess while you play checkers02:05 — Why receipts, texts, and docs ≠ strategy03:05 — Tunnel vision & overconfidence with “bulldog” attorneys05:10 — Emotional bias & framing the wrong problem06:20 — Blind Spot #1: Procedural (deadlines, discovery, judge quirks)08:45 — Rules vs. reality: exceptions and courtroom variability09:55 — Blind Spot #2: Opponent/Opposing Counsel (anticipation is strategy)11:40 — What good lawyers should do—and when to fire one12:35 — Blind Spot #3: Emotional (regulation before cognition)13:40 — Blind Spot #4: Strategy (why plans flip and whiplash)15:55 — How to fix procedural gaps with research & AI (the right way)18:05 — Closing the Judge Gap: observation, proxies, paid intel19:55 — Closing the Opponent Gap: patterns, PI-mindset, social data21:00 — Closing the Emotional Gap: therapy, support, mindfulness, routine22:10 — Closing the Strategy Gap with my ADVOCATE Method23:20 — Why 80% of family court is strategy (and how to use that)24:00 — Call to action + how to connect with meSupport the show Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field. Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own? We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes. To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

    26 min
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About

We discuss how to use strategy in Family Court to get the results you want. A family law professional with twenty years of experience in the field will share with you what really matters in Family Court.   Whether you are going through divorce or custody, if you are representing yourself you need to know the tactics that will end the torment you have been enduring up until this point.  We will share tips, tricks, techniques, and everything else that your lawyer will never divulge. If you have been getting disappointment from lawyers, the judge, or the overall process, tune in to get help on plotting your next move. Visit www.thedivorcesolutionist.com to download the FREE "Are You Pro Se Material" e-guide & workbook.  Listen to each episode for free worksheets, tip sheets and much more.  Sign up to receive our newsletter for discounts, specials, upcoming workshops and updates to our services. Services we offer:     ->1-2-1 Monthly Consultation package     ->Trial Preparation & Evidence Organization Services     ->Unbundled Services: Uncontested Divorce, Document Prep, Document   Review, Legal Research,  Background Search, Judge Lookup, Attorney Screen/Vet     ->Mediation Service      ->Process Servers*Follow me on social media @TheDivorceSolutionist or @FamilyCourtStrategist

Information

  • Creator
    Tracey Bee, Pro Se Family Court Strategist
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    52
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Self-Represented in Family Court
  • Show Website
    Self-Represented in Family Court