Adulting with Autism

April Ratchford MS OT/L

ADULTING WITH AUTISM A movement for neurodivergent adults, created by autistic occupational therapist April Ratchford, OTR/L. Adulting with Autism is a global community for autistic and ADHD adults navigating independence, relationships, college life, careers, emotional regulation, and real-world executive-function challenges. With over 2.7 million downloads, April blends lived experience, clinical insight, and honest conversation to guide neurodivergent adults into their next chapter of growth. Each episode brings practical tools, mental-health strategies, autistic storytelling, and real talk about boundaries, burnout, sensory needs, finances, friendships, and the messy parts of becoming an independent adult. Featuring leading experts in autism, mental health, neuroscience, accessibility, and creative industries — along with deeply human stories from autistic adults around the world. If you're a late-diagnosed autistic adult, a college student trying to survive executive-function chaos, or a neurodivergent person trying to build a life that actually fits — you are in the right place. 🎙️ Hosted by: April Ratchford, OTR/L — autistic occupational therapist, autism advocate, author, and executive contributor to Brainz Magazine.

  1. 1d ago

    What Works for Your Brain? Personal Science with Gary Wolf

    What if understanding your energy, attention, and daily struggles does not require another expensive wearable—or tracking every 15 minutes of your life? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with science writer Gary Wolf, co-founder of the Quantified Self movement and author of The Quantified Self: Learning to Observe. His work explores how people can use their own observations and data to answer questions that matter in their everyday lives.:not([hidden])~:not([hidden]))]:border-soft bg-soft">workman+1 We discuss how to start with one concrete question: Do I have energy left after work? When do I crash? What makes me late? What helps me recover? Gary explains why personal observations matter, how wearables can provide context without telling the whole story, and why an experiment that does not work is information—not proof that you failed. We also walk through my hypothetical work-crash pattern and explore how to investigate it without immediately turning my entire life upside down. This conversation is for autistic, ADHD, and neurodivergent adults who want to understand themselves without creating another overwhelming productivity system. In this episode p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How a gathering organized by Gary and Kevin Kelly became a worldwide self-research community. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The three Quantified Self show-and-tell questions: "What did I do? How did I do it? What did I learn?" p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why tracking attention or energy does not have to mean recording every moment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Starting with one daily observation rather than a complicated dashboard. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Gary's practical starting suggestion of approximately six weeks of daily observations—not a universal threshold for proving a result. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "I had energy left after work" is a meaningful observation. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Refining vague measures into something easier to notice. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Investigating specific difficulties instead of trying to measure "executive function" as one giant concept. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Foreground data: the question or experience you actually care about. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Background data: context from wearables, calendars, messages, and other existing records. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between noticing a useful personal pattern and proving an intervention works for everyone. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> When tracking becomes more burdensome than useful. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The role of clinician collaboration when questions involve symptoms, medication, or health decisions. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> April's hypothetical question: "Why do I crash every third workday?" p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Observing a pattern before choosing a change. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Using what you learn to select a small, relevant experiment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why curiosity can help replace the story "This system failed, so I'm a failure." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Learning from other people's self-research without assuming their solution will fit your life. About Gary Gary Wolf is a science and technology writer based in Berkeley, California. A former executive editor of Wired Digital and contributing editor at Wired, he co-founded the Quantified Self movement in 2008.workman He now works with the Personal Science Research Group to develop methods, tools, and case studies that support small-scale empirical research. His book, The Quantified Self: Learning to Observe, brings together personal stories and scientific reasoning methods for exploring questions about mood, cognition, sleep, pain, digestion, and other areas of life.:not([hidden])~:not([hidden]))]:border-soft bg-soft">workman+1 Resources: p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Gary's website.antephase p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Quantified Self and book information.quantifiedself p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Publisher's book page.workman Release note: The publisher lists October 6, 2026, as the book's release date. Use "available for preorder" if the episode publishes before then, and "available now" afterward.workman Key takeaways p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Start with a question that matters to you—not whatever your device happens to measure. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> One useful observation can be more manageable than a complicated tracking system. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Your experience belongs in the picture; a wearable score is not the whole story. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Personal patterns can guide questions and decisions without establishing universal cause and effect. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Tracking should serve your life. Reassess when its burden exceeds its usefulness. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> An unsuccessful experiment can still teach you something. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Health-related tracking can support a clinical conversation; it is not a substitute for medical evaluation or guidance on medication changes.

  2. 3d ago

    Finding Your Voice Through Writing: Late AuDHD Discovery with Abigail Yardimci

    Adulting with Autism

  3. Sep 28

    Bright but Struggling: Late ADHD Discovery with Therapist Marvie Corbett

    What if you spent years believing you were lazy, disorganized, not smart enough, too emotional, not trying hard enough, or "not living up to your potential"—only to discover that ADHD, executive-function differences, anxiety, and a learning disability were shaping your experience the entire time? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with Marvie Corbett, clinical therapist, social worker, author, ADHD adult, parent of three, and educational advocate in the DC/Virginia area. Marvie shares how postpartum depression and anxiety led to cognitive testing—and how those results gave her language for a lifetime of struggles with focus, math, organization, task initiation, academic pressure, self-doubt, and masking.paste.txt We talk about bright kids who can compensate until executive-function demands rise, the overlap between ADHD and anxiety, why girls are often labeled anxious or depressed before anyone looks at ADHD, and how families can support neurodivergent children without turning every struggle into a moral failure. This is a conversation about replacing shame with context, building systems around your actual brain, and learning how to be the boss of your executive functioning instead of feeling controlled by it. In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Who Marvie Corbett is: clinical therapist, social worker, author, parent of three, ADHD adult, educational advocate, and clinician in the DC/Virginia area.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "bright but struggling," "lazy," "not trying," "unmotivated," and "not living up to your potential" are harmful labels for ADHD adults and children. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Executive functioning as a collection of skills or "muscles," not one single ability. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Different executive-function areas: task initiation, sustained attention, working memory, organization, planning, emotional regulation, impulse control, flexibility, prioritization, and follow-through. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why task initiation gets so much attention: people can see that you are not starting the report, assignment, homework, email, or household task—but they cannot see the effort it takes to begin. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Marvie's late ADHD discovery after postpartum depression and anxiety with her second child. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How cognitive testing helped separate sleep deprivation, anxiety, depression, focus difficulties, learning differences, and underlying ADHD patterns. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why a good assessment can create a "lightbulb moment" for adults who have spent decades blaming themselves. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The grief and relief of realizing, "I am actually smart. It was just really hard." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How ADHD and learning differences can remain hidden in academically bright children who compensate through intelligence, perfectionism, people-pleasing, overworking, anxiety, and last-minute effort. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why executive-function demands often increase sharply around third and fourth grade, sixth grade, ninth grade, college, parenting, postpartum life, and high-pressure careers. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why a child can do well in early grades and then "hit a wall" as organization, multi-step assignments, independent work, social complexity, and workload demands increase. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Marvie's realization that she also had a math learning disability and how that reframed years of frustration with math homework and academics. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why girls are often diagnosed first with anxiety or depression while ADHD goes unseen. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why anxiety and ADHD can become intertwined: behavioral feedback, rejection, impulsivity, overstimulation, fast thinking, threat scanning, perfectionism, and fear of disappointing people. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> ADHD and anxiety as "friends nobody asked for." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why highly capable ADHD adults may create elaborate systems, lists, reminders, alarms, notes, and organization hacks without realizing they are compensating for executive-function needs. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Neurodivergent and neurotypical relationships: why people can care deeply about each other while using different "operating systems." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why forgetfulness, missed dates, incomplete tasks, topic-switching, and delayed follow-through can hurt loved ones even when they are not intentional. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neurotypical people may need to pause before personalizing executive-function challenges. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neurodivergent people still need to take responsibility for creating systems that help them show up in relationships. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Batching: pairing a task you need to do with something more enjoyable or rewarding to make it easier to start. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neurotypical people do not always need to understand every neurodivergent brain hack in order to respect it. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How ADHD masking differs from autistic masking. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> ADHD masking as overworking, people-pleasing, running too hot, striving for approval, overperforming, compensating, and pushing yourself beyond sustainable capacity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Autistic masking as navigating social cues, performing expected behavior, modifying communication, managing eye contact, decoding indirect language, and suppressing natural responses. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "doing your best" should include leaving enough energy for home, rest, relationships, hobbies, and life outside work. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to distinguish your actual goals from conventional success, prestige, family expectations, income pressure, achievement culture, and "more, more, more." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why a sustainable job may matter more than a prestigious job. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Questions to ask about career fit: p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Will I have energy after work? p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Can I work at a pace that fits my brain? p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Do I have autonomy? p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Is there meaning behind the work? p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Is the environment tolerable? p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Can I build a contented life around this role? p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Time blindness: struggling to estimate time, track time passing, plan ahead, understand duration, or accurately predict how long something will take. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why always arriving 15–30 minutes early can actually be a coping strategy for time blindness. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Visual time tools: analog clocks, visual timers, color-based timers, countdowns, routines, and external time cues. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Biological time versus clock time: working around hunger, fatigue, energy, interest, and internal rhythm rather than only arbitrary clock expectations. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Strategic avoidance: avoiding emails, bank accounts, grading, paperwork, difficult conversations, medical appointments, and other emotionally threatening tasks. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to tell the difference between avoiding something because it is boring and avoiding it because it triggers shame, rejection sensitivity, fear, guilt, or past negative experiences. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why scheduling work and scheduling fun can reduce guilt and make rest more restorative. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sensory regulation for ADHD adults: movement, fidgeting, cardiovascular exercise, music, novelty, physical activity, stimulation, and intentional sensory input. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why fidgeting may support focus and retention. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why ADHD adults may need stimulation to regulate rather than needing only quiet rest. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why exercise can help reduce anxiety and improve executive functioning. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Body doubling as adult parallel play: working near another person, even on different tasks, to support activation, accountability, and focus. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What supportive relationships with ADHD adults can look like: curiosity, humor, realistic time expectations, reminders, acceptance, communication, and not taking every interruption personally. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why ADHD interruptions can be about working memory and connection rather than disrespect. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to communicate when interruptions hurt: name the impact without assuming malicious intent. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neurodivergence should not become a moral failure or an excuse. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to own your needs while also accepting responsibility for the systems, supports, and strategies that help you participate in relationships and daily life. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why newly diagnosed ADHD adults should begin with reflection instead of immediately redesigning their entire lives. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The importance of looking back at your history with curiosity: school, relationships, work, childhood feedback, academic shifts, anxiety, depression, burnout, and patterns of self-blame. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Self-compassion versus self-esteem: why worth should not depend on achievement, success, being "good enough," or proving yourself. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why you should treat yourself as you would treat a good friend who is struggling. p]:pt-0 [

  4. Sep 28

    Regulate Yourself First: Parenting, Meltdowns & Boundaries with OT Colleen

    What if one of the most effective ways to support a neurodivergent child is not starting with the child at all? What if it starts with the adult learning to regulate themselves first? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with fellow occupational therapist Colleen about self-regulation, co-regulation, sensory processing, meltdowns, shutdowns, boundaries, parent burnout, repair conversations, and helping neurodivergent children build confidence without being punished for nervous-system responses.paste.txt Colleen shares why every behavior is communication, why meltdowns are not manipulation, why shutdowns can be missed because they are quieter, and why "defiance" is often a poor explanation for what is actually happening. We also talk about the difference between being firm and being harsh, being flexible and being permissive, holding a boundary and dismissing a feeling, and helping your child develop independence without rescuing them from every hard moment. This episode is for parents, caregivers, neurodivergent adults, occupational therapists, educators, and anyone who has ever thought: "I know what I should do, but I am overstimulated, dysregulated, and my kid just pushed every button I have." In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Who Colleen is: pediatric occupational therapist, self-regulation specialist, parent educator, creator of Growing Butterflies OT, and founder of Creations With Colleen.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why she moved to California—and why good weather was part of the decision. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The guiding question behind her work: "What if the most effective way to support your child is to regulate yourself first?"paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How Colleen's pediatric OT work led her to focus on supporting adults and parents before expecting them to co-regulate a child. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Self-regulation in ordinary language: feeling as okay as possible while navigating the hard, uncomfortable, stressful, overwhelming, or unexpected parts of life. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why emotional regulation is not about never having feelings—it is about understanding feelings, noticing them, and choosing what to do next. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between self-regulation and co-regulation. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Self-regulation: how you care for yourself, understand your body, identify your needs, and move through difficult moments. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Co-regulation: how your regulated nervous system influences and supports another person's nervous system. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sensory processing and self-regulation: why hunger, fatigue, transitions, sounds, smells, light, food textures, social demands, and sensory overload can affect behavior. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why smell sensitivity, noise sensitivity, light sensitivity, food aversions, movement needs, and sensory preferences can all affect emotional regulation. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why some people need more intentional sensory support to feel calm, safe, alert, focused, or organized. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "defiance" may be a misleading label for a child who is overwhelmed, dysregulated, lacking a skill, anxious, sensory overloaded, confused, or feeling powerless. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why some children born after COVID may show more intense preferences, stronger opinions, and less willingness to simply "go with the flow." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to honor a child's voice while also accepting that some tasks are non-negotiable. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The balance between accommodating children and helping them learn to do hard things. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why a child's meltdown is communication—not proof of bad intentions. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What meltdowns may communicate: overwhelm, lack of control, sensory overload, frustration, fear, perceived unfairness, exhaustion, lack of communication tools, or a nervous system that has reached capacity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why children often have their biggest meltdowns with parents or caregivers because they feel safest there. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why shutdowns are just as important as meltdowns, even when they are quieter and easier to miss. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Shutdown signs: becoming quiet, withdrawing, disengaging, appearing to "give up," becoming less verbal, avoiding interaction, zoning out, or losing access to previously available skills. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why confidence-building can protect against shutdown by helping children feel capable of working through difficult moments. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Common adult reactions that accidentally increase dysregulation: saying no without explanation, piling on language, arguing, escalating, demanding compliance in the heat of the moment, or ignoring a child's need for control. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why children may interpret "no" as permanent unless adults clearly explain the boundary and offer future options. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Effective co-regulation: adults learning their own triggers, sensory needs, anxiety patterns, exhaustion signals, and capacity limits. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why many adults were never taught emotional regulation in childhood and are now expected to teach it to their children. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Colleen's coffee story: missing a needed second cup of coffee before a demanding preschool observation and then realizing how quickly neglecting her own needs affected her capacity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why taking care of yourself first is not selfish—it allows you to show up with more patience, discernment, flexibility, and emotional room for others. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Boundaries: the difference between harshness, permissiveness, overgiving, self-abandonment, loving limits, and firm guidance. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why setting boundaries is especially difficult when parents are tired, triggered, guilty, people-pleasing, sensory overloaded, or afraid of upsetting their children. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why feelings are always valid, but not every behavior is okay. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A simple core message: "You are allowed to feel angry. You are not allowed to hurt someone because you are angry." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to prepare for hard moments before they happen rather than trying to teach new skills at the peak of a meltdown. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why a dysregulated child is not ready for a long lesson, reasoning, negotiation, or behavior analysis. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why co-regulation with autistic and ADHD teens may look like space, quiet presence, patience, offering options, respecting no-touch preferences, and waiting for communication in its own form. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why nonverbal, minimally speaking, or differently communicating children are still communicating constantly through behavior, facial expression, movement, proximity, withdrawal, sensory seeking, and choices. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to create sensory-supportive spaces without spending huge amounts of money on specialized equipment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Low-cost sensory supports: noise-canceling headphones, spinning chairs, therapy balls, trampolines, movement breaks, jumping, safe pressure, music, massage, fidgets, household items, weighted blankets, and sensory routines. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why sensory support does not need to come from expensive products with the word "sensory" printed on the label. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why older kids, teens, and adults should be taught to identify their own sensory needs instead of relying on others to identify them forever. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why self-awareness is one of the most valuable long-term OT goals. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What power struggles often communicate: a child needs more autonomy, clarity, predictability, connection, choices, or emotional support. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why offering more small choices throughout the day can reduce later power struggles. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Examples of small choices: red cup or blue cup, shower before or after dinner, homework before or after snack, which shirt, which activity, which order. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Inner authority: building trust in your own ability to decide whether a strategy is working, whether it needs more time, or whether it is not the right fit for your family. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why families need to listen to advice without losing their own discernment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Repair after conflict: why it is not enough to just move on after a big feeling moment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> When to repair: after everyone has settled, not at the peak of distress. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A repair script: name what happened, acknowledge feelings, identify the behavior, hold the boundary, ask for the child's perspective, and make a plan for next time. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "I'm sorry" alone may not feel meaningful to children without explanation, accountability, connection, and changed behavior. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How adult children can work toward repair with parents even if they did not grow up in regulation-focused homes. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why adult children today are more willing to name past harm, ask hard questions, and refuse to pretend childhood experiences were okay when they were not. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why repair requires self-reflection, honest communicati

  5. Sep 26

    Neurodivergent Women, Perimenopause & Burnout with Dr. Sarah

    What if your ADHD, autism, executive dysfunction, sensory sensitivity, sleep issues, burnout, mood shifts, and inability to "keep masking" are not suddenly getting worse because you are failing? What if your hormones, nervous system, sleep, nutrient status, stress load, and neurodivergent brain are all interacting at the same time? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with Dr. Sarah, a board-certified physician and neurodivergent woman in midlife who focuses on precision-guided, personalized care for neurodivergent women through perimenopause, menopause, and beyond.paste.txt We talk about why neurodivergent women may experience perimenopausal symptoms earlier, why estrogen and testosterone affect executive function, how disrupted sleep amplifies everything, and why standard medical approaches often miss the bigger picture. Dr. Sarah also explains why ferritin, B vitamins, progesterone, cortisol, circadian rhythm, food aversions, sensory needs, stress, burnout, libido, relationships, and masking can all be part of the same conversation. This episode is for every neurodivergent woman who has been told, "Your labs are normal," "You're too young for perimenopause," "It's just stress," or "You just need to sleep more"—while internally feeling like a raccoon in a dumpster fire. In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Who Dr. Sarah is: board-certified physician, neurodivergent woman in midlife, and provider focused on precision-guided, personalized care for neurodivergent women.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neurodivergent women often face multiple overlapping challenges across the lifespan: PMDD, difficult menstrual cycles, postpartum changes, hormonal shifts, perimenopause, menopause, sensory overload, executive dysfunction, masking, burnout, and medical dismissal.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between menopause and perimenopause. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Menopause as one point in time: the point after 12 months without a menstrual period, followed by postmenopause. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why perimenopausal symptoms can begin years before menopause. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neurodivergent women may notice perimenopausal symptoms much earlier than expected, sometimes in their 30s. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why women may be dismissed with: "You're too young for perimenopause." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Estrogen's wide-ranging role in the body, including the brain, executive function, memory, motivation, mood, and cognition. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why fluctuating estrogen can be particularly difficult for neurodivergent brains that are sensitive to unpredictable highs, lows, changes, and internal instability. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How perimenopause can make autism and ADHD traits feel more intense. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why masking, camouflaging, stimming, focus strategies, emotional regulation, and coping systems that once worked may stop working in midlife. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Dopamine and estrogen: why falling estrogen can affect attention, motivation, executive function, and ADHD symptoms. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Testosterone and the neurodivergent brain: energy, confidence, drive, executive function, communication, and the ability to show up in a meeting, make a pitch, or advocate for yourself. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why testosterone often receives less discussion than estrogen despite its role in women's health and cognition. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Hormonal birth control, testosterone, and why some women may have low hormone levels earlier than they realize. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why hormone treatment for neurodivergent women may need a slower, more individualized approach rather than one standard dose or protocol. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why some neurodivergent women may be more sensitive to estrogen, progesterone, hormonal shifts, medication changes, and side effects. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The role of ferritin, iron, B6, B12, magnesium, nutrient absorption, food aversions, menstrual bleeding, gut health, and mitochondrial function. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why low ferritin can affect energy, dopamine pathways, cognition, thyroid function, mood, and executive function. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why simply being told to take an iron supplement or receive an infusion may not address the underlying cause of low ferritin. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The importance of asking why a lab value is low: menstrual bleeding, absorption issues, diet, food aversion, gut issues, hormone changes, or other causes. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sleep as the most important foundational system for brain function, nervous-system regulation, mood, executive function, hormones, cellular repair, and chronic illness prevention. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why disrupted sleep can worsen ADHD symptoms, emotional regulation, memory, executive dysfunction, anxiety, fatigue, and sensory sensitivity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Circadian rhythm support: getting light exposure into the eyes soon after waking to help regulate cortisol, energy, melatonin, and sleep timing. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why morning cortisol is not always the enemy—it is part of helping the body wake, activate, and generate energy. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sleep latency, rumination, racing thoughts, early waking, deep sleep, REM sleep, and why neurodivergent women may struggle with all of them. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Progesterone, GABA, and why hormonal shifts can influence calming, rumination, sleep, and nervous-system regulation. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Long-term masking and chronic stress: the "sympathetic spiral of doom." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neurodivergent brains can feel like Ferrari engines with weak brakes: high output, high sensitivity, and difficulty downshifting. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How chronic sympathetic activation can affect cortisol, metabolism, insulin sensitivity, weight changes, sleep, burnout, and overall capacity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "normal" lab ranges are not always the same as optimal functioning for a specific person. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The limitations of reference ranges that include broad populations across large age spans and different levels of health. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "your labs are normal" can fail to capture how a patient actually feels and functions. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Subclinical patterns: why a result may technically fall inside a reference range while still warranting a deeper look in context. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to advocate at medical appointments without needing to become a hormone, lab, or supplement expert. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why it helps to arrive with a written symptom list, specific questions, a brief timeline, and a clear request. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Useful self-advocacy language: p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> "These are the symptoms I am experiencing." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> "This is how they are affecting my daily function." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> "I would like to explore possible causes." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> "If you do not think this is the cause, can you explain what else we should investigate?" p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> "If this is outside your area of practice, can you refer me to someone else?" p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How ADHD medications may need adjustments during perimenopause and menopause due to changing estrogen, testosterone, dopamine, sleep, stress, and executive-function needs. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why some women may need different medication doses at different points in the menstrual cycle or hormonal transition. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why treatment should be individualized rather than assuming every woman needs the same medication, supplement, hormone protocol, diet, workout, or "biohack." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why wellness trends can become another source of failure and shame for neurodivergent women. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between understanding a wellness principle and forcing yourself to use it in a way that does not fit your sensory needs, energy, food preferences, schedule, or nervous system. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "food prep" may be a great concept but still fail if eating food prepared days earlier is a sensory nonstarter. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why gym culture may be overwhelming for a neurodivergent person even if movement itself is beneficial. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Low-hanging-fruit supports: sleep, morning light, nervous-system regulation, nutrient evaluation, realistic food support, and reducing sympathetic overdrive. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Early signs that your current pace may no longer be sustainable: sleep changes, afternoon crashes, worsening focus, reduced masking capacity, cognitive slowing, more sensory overwhelm, short temper, and feeling unlike yourself. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "I cannot get past 3:30 p.m." can be useful health information, not simply laziness. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Energy mapping: identifying peak, neutral, and depleted periods in your day. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to rearrange tasks around energy instead of forcing executive-function-heavy work into your lowest-capacity hours. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why taking a nap, lying down, using a weighted blanket, stimming, breathing, closing the door, or taking a true break may make the rest of the day more manageable. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Relationships, parenting, com

  6. Sep 23

    The Hidden Curriculum: Executive Function, Anxiety & Neurodivergent School Success

    What if a student who appears to be "struggling" is not showing you their full potential because the environment, instruction style, expectations, or support system is not working for their brain? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with Joie, Senior Director of Teaching and Learning at Fusion Academy. Joie has spent more than 15 years working in personalized education, including special education, campus leadership, teaching and learning strategy, social-emotional development, and support for neurodivergent students.paste.txt Fusion Academy uses a one teacher-to-one student model, where teachers serve as both instructors and mentors. Joie explains what educators can learn in that environment that may be invisible in a traditional classroom—and why strong relationships, clear expectations, individualized executive-function support, and high standards can coexist.paste.txt We discuss adolescence as a complicated but formative time, the hidden curriculum that makes school hard for autistic and ADHD students, why "just use a planner" often fails, how to support self-advocacy, and why parents must gradually move from standing in front of their kids to standing beside them. In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Who Joie is: Senior Director of Teaching and Learning at Fusion Academy, longtime educator, former special education lead, parent, reader, runner, and advocate for personalized education.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Her 15-plus-year journey with Fusion Academy, including campus leadership and national teaching-and-learning work.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why adolescence is complicated: hormones, identity, peer relationships, brain development, academic expectations, family dynamics, self-discovery, and the transition toward adulthood. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Fusion Academy's reminder for educators: "We know—we were there. It's our job to remember."paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why every adult in a school should remember what it felt like to be a teenager before assuming a student is just being difficult, disengaged, dramatic, or lazy. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How a psychology background encourages curiosity: asking "Why is this happening?" instead of making assumptions based on behavior. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why behavior is not always a direct reflection of capacity, intelligence, motivation, or future potential. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The danger of letting a diagnosis, behavior pattern, or school history become a ceiling on what a student can do. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neuroplasticity matters in adolescence: skills, habits, confidence, coping strategies, academic patterns, and self-awareness can still develop significantly. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why traditional education sometimes focuses more on performance and compliance than potential, connection, environment, and individualized access. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Fusion Academy's one teacher-to-one student model and the learning advantages of focused individual attention.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What teachers can discover in a one-to-one setting: interests, goals, sensory needs, learning preferences, motivation, anxiety patterns, barriers to engagement, and the unique ways a student connects with content. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why relationship-building can improve academic engagement and willingness to take risks in learning. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Fusion's "Love, Motivate, Teach" educational approach.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why supportive learning does not mean reducing expectations or enabling avoidance. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How one-to-one instruction can make expectations clearer because a student cannot disappear into the back of the classroom or rely on peers to answer every question. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why high expectations can be an act of care when they are paired with support, clarity, patience, connection, and belief in the student. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The hidden curriculum of school: transitions, group work, unclear expectations, ambiguous instructions, reading between the lines, perspective taking, self-management, organization, social performance, and asking for help. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why group work can be especially difficult for students who need clear roles, predictable expectations, direct communication, and structured collaboration. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How ambiguous assignments can trigger anxiety, perfectionism, avoidance, shutdown, or task paralysis. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why rubrics, exemplars, models, visual roadmaps, and multiple examples of successful work can reduce anxiety while preserving creativity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between showing a student an example and removing their ability to think creatively. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Executive-function support: identifying whether the core challenge is organization, task initiation, planning, prioritization, time management, working memory, emotional regulation, or following through. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why individualized executive-function support starts with observing where frustration actually occurs—not giving every student the same planner, checklist, app, or productivity system. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to gradually build skills: work on one routine or tool at a time, practice it long enough to become usable, then add the next support. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "just break it down" fails when a student is already overwhelmed by 10 new systems, planners, calendars, checklists, expectations, and adult pressure. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to make executive-function struggles less shameful: "You are not chaos. We may just need support with organization." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why self-advocacy needs to be made visible, practiced, named, and explained before students transition to adulthood. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between adults quietly doing things for students and students understanding what supports they need and how to ask for them. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why social-emotional learning is not just a generic curriculum—it should be individualized, explicit, student-directed, skill-based, and connected to real-life goals. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Fusion's school-wide learner outcomes: inclusivity, resourcefulness, critical thinking, and self-awareness.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neurodivergent students should help choose their own social-emotional learning focus, such as communication, perspective taking, connection, self-awareness, advocacy, confidence, or group participation. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why teachers should not assume that social-emotional skills are intuitive for every learner. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Skills that supportive middle and high schools should help neurodivergent students develop before graduation: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, communication, executive function, resilience, advocacy, and practical independence. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How parents can support growing independence without rescuing, controlling, or removing every obstacle. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The shift from standing in front of your child to standing beside them. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why the parent role may evolve from "I will do it for you" to "I will help you prepare to do it yourself." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How parents can observe school struggles, communicate with teachers, watch engagement patterns, and seek the right supports. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why educational therapists can be especially helpful for neurodivergent students working on executive function, academic skills, cognition, and learning strategies. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How a student can assess whether they need to leave a school environment or whether they need stronger supports within that environment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The first question to ask: "Who are my supports, and have I actually used them?" p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Fusion Academy's in-person and virtual programming, with more than 80 physical campuses across the country and virtual options for families.paste.txt About the Guest Joie is the Senior Director of Teaching and Learning at Fusion Academy. She has spent more than 15 years in personalized education, beginning as a special education lead at Fusion's first replication campus in Los Angeles before moving into campus administration and national education leadership.paste.txt Her work focuses on personalized learning, educator development, neurodivergent student support, executive function, social-emotional learning, mentoring, and helping schools create environments where students feel seen, valued, challenged, and capable.paste.txt At Fusion Academy, Joie supports an educational model built around one teacher and one student per class. This model allows teachers to develop deeper understanding of a student's learning style, interests, goals, strengths, barriers, and support needs.paste.txt To learn more about Fusion Academy, its in-person campuses, virtual options, personalized learning model, family resources, and events, visit fusionacademy.com. Key Takeaways p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Adolescence is not a problem to survive; it is a complicated, formative period where identity, independence, relationships, learning, and future direction are still developing. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A diagnosis, behavior pattern, or history of school struggle should never be used as a ceiling on a student's potential. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:m

  7. Sep 21

    The ADHDer's Guide to Self-Discovery: Dopamine, Shame & Unmasking with Sol Smith

    What if the problem is not that ADHDers are lazy, irresponsible, unmotivated, disorganized, or "not trying hard enough"? What if the problem is that modern school, work, productivity, and social systems were built around a different type of brain? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, Sol Smith returns to talk about his new book, The ADHDer's Guide to Self-Discovery. Sol is an autistic and ADHD life coach, former college professor, author of The Autistic's Guide to Self-Discovery, and founder of the Neurospicy Community.paste.txt We talk about ADHD beyond generic productivity advice. This conversation gets into dopamine, cortisol, procrastination, masking, rejection sensitivity, time blindness, sensory regulation, people-pleasing, burnout, body doubling, self-compassion, and why ADHD adults need systems that work with their brains instead of systems designed to make them look more neurotypical. Sol also explains why ADHD is not always a "superpower," why the "fish climbing a tree" metaphor needs an update, and why a better goal is to lean into your strengths while finding enough support around the things that drain you. In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Who Sol Smith is: autistic and ADHD life coach, former college professor, late-identified AuDHD adult, author, and founder of the Neurospicy Community.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sol's new book, The ADHDer's Guide to Self-Discovery, and why he wrote a self-understanding book rather than another shame-based guide to "fixing" ADHD behavior.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why many ADHD resources still focus too much on changing the person to meet external standards instead of changing environments and expectations to reveal ADHD strengths. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Autism and ADHD overlap: shared executive-function challenges, task initiation difficulties, burnout, masking, rejection sensitivity, and living in systems made for someone else's neurotype. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why autism and ADHD statistics remain incomplete, especially when research has historically centered white male participants. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The high co-occurrence of autism and ADHD, and why many autistic adults are discovering ADHD later in life. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between autism and ADHD social experiences: overlap in rejection and misunderstanding, but often different patterns of reading social expectations. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Rejection sensitivity and "lowercase t trauma": repeated small rejections, exclusion, marginalization, being in trouble, disappointing others, and being pushed out of groups. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The research Sol discusses on early peer rejection and how quickly ADHD children may be excluded or marginalized in group settings.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The Mario-in-a-Sonic-world metaphor: being capable, creative, and valuable while being judged by standards designed for a different neurotype.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> ADHD motivation and dopamine: why completing an uninteresting task may not provide the same internal reward it does for a neurotypical person. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The elephant metaphor for motivation: leading yourself with a carrot, a stick, urgency, meaning, novelty, interest, or emotional stakes. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Cortisol-driven productivity: procrastinating until urgency floods the system with stress and makes action possible. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why last-minute work can sometimes be excellent work, but still come at a physical and emotional cost. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The hidden costs of relying on stress to make things happen: anxiety, immune-system strain, soft-tissue stress, exhaustion, and burnout. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> People-pleasing as a coping system: doing work for praise, approval, teacher validation, or parental acceptance when the work itself is not rewarding. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why people-pleasing can eventually collapse when praise disappears or external validation no longer feels sufficient. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why ADHDers often excel in urgent, hands-on, fast-moving work, including emergency medicine, surgery, crisis response, and jobs where needs are immediate and concrete. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "ADHD is a superpower" can be invalidating for people who have not yet found their strengths or are still struggling with disability, shame, and burnout. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A revised fish metaphor: an ADHDer may be a fish that cannot swim very fast but can climb trees—and fish school never teaches tree climbing.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why the goal is not to become better at every weakness, but to lean into strengths and create support, delegation, trade-offs, or outsourcing around what drains you. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How ADHD masking differs from and overlaps with autistic masking. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Autistic masking as consciously or unconsciously decoding social expectations and trying to perform them correctly. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> ADHD masking as running too hot, overworking, striving for approval, trying to prove worth, and putting in extreme effort to appear neurotypical, competent, and reliable. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why the right definition of "doing your best" includes leaving enough energy for your life outside of work. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to distinguish between an authentic goal and a performance of conventional success. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why ADHD adults may absorb other people's ideas of prestige, success, money, career, productivity, and "more" before identifying what they actually want. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why sustainable success is a better question than status: What job, schedule, role, environment, or life lets you remain content and still have energy at the end of the day? p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Time blindness: difficulty estimating how long something will take, sensing the passage of time, being on time, understanding future consequences, or balancing "now" versus "later." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why being 15–30 minutes early can be a sophisticated coping strategy for chronic lateness rather than proof that someone "doesn't have time blindness." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Visual time supports: analog clocks, visual timers, countdowns, color blocks, and timers that make the passage of time more concrete.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Biological time versus clock time: hunger, fatigue, interest, energy, and internal rhythms can be more intuitive than arbitrary clock-based expectations. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Strategic avoidance: avoiding money, emails, schoolwork, difficult conversations, boss meetings, emotionally loaded tasks, and other areas that trigger stress or rejection sensitivity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to distinguish boring-task avoidance from emotionally threatening avoidance. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why scheduling the work and scheduling the fun can reduce guilt and help ADHD adults actually rest. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sensory regulation and focus: fidgeting, movement, exercise, music, novelty, stimulation, cardiovascular activity, and intentional sensory input. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why fidgeting may improve focus and retention for ADHD learners rather than prove they are "not paying attention." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why ADHD adults may need stimulation to regulate instead of needing only quiet downtime. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Body doubling and autistic "parallel play": working near another person, even on separate tasks, to create structure, support task initiation, and reduce the cognitive load of starting. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Supportive relationships for ADHD adults: realistic expectations, curiosity, patience, humor, clearer time expectations, and understanding that tangents may be a chain of real associations rather than inattention. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why interruptions can signal comfort and connection for ADHDers, while still requiring communication and respect for the other person's feelings. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The importance of explaining impact: "When you interrupt me, it hurts my feelings," rather than assigning malicious intent. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The unmasking roadmap in Sol's book, based on Dabrowski's positive disintegration framework. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why unmasking and self-discovery can bring grief, sadness, identity disruption, and discomfort before leading to more contentment and control. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A first step for newly diagnosed or self-recognizing ADHD adults: look back at your history, identify patterns, and replace blame with context before trying to redesign your entire life. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Self-compassion versus self-esteem: why worth should not depend on productivity, perfection, achievement, or proving yourself. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sol's closing message: treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend who was struggling. About the Guest Sol Smith is an autistic and ADHD life coach, former college professor, author, speaker, and founder of the Neurospicy Community. After being late identified as autistic and ADHD, Sol focused his psychology studies and coaching work on self-understanding, unmasking, neurodivergent identity, executive function, relationships, and building sustainable systems around the actual needs of autistic and ADHD adults.paste.txt He is the author of The Autistic's Guide to Self-Discovery and the newly releas

  8. Sep 19

    The Art of Pacing: Burnout, Energy & Sustainable Ambition with Elizabeth Svoboda

    What if pacing yourself does not mean doing less, lowering your ambition, quiet quitting, or giving up on the things you care about? What if it means learning how to keep going without destroying yourself in the process? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with science writer Elizabeth Svoboda, author of The Art of Pacing. Elizabeth explores why so many of us get stuck in a cycle of intense effort, overwork, procrastination, anxiety, burnout, collapse, recovery, and then doing the entire thing all over again.simonandschuster+1 We discuss pacing as energy management rather than rigid time management, why your natural rhythms matter, how to recognize your "pulse points," and why rest is not the same as doomscrolling or numbing out. Elizabeth also introduces some of her most useful concepts: rigid flexibility, brief candle moments, selective mediocrity, and the Hero's Journey Restorying Exercise. This episode is for autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, and neurodivergent adults—as well as anyone else who has ever gone too hard, crashed too hard, and wondered why "just manage your time better" never seems to fix the real issue. In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Who Elizabeth Svoboda is: science writer, contributor to outlets including Scientific American, Greater Good, and Boston Globe Ideas, and author of The Art of Pacing.elizabethsvoboda+1 p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The "ping-pong" cycle between intense effort and lethargy, withdrawal, depression, anxiety, burnout, and recovery. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why many people learn early that working harder, giving 110 percent, and pushing through are the only acceptable ways to pursue success. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The absence of cultural messages about protecting health, nervous-system regulation, sleep, sanity, capacity, and sustainable effort. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why pacing is not giving up, withdrawal, laziness, quiet quitting, or abandoning meaningful goals. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Pacing as learning to navigate the full range of possible speeds instead of constantly bouncing between overdrive and collapse.simonandschuster+1 p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why sustainable pacing requires self-knowledge: what is manageable for one person may not work for another. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between pacing and procrastination. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why procrastination often involves avoidance behaviors that drain energy rather than restore it. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Doomscrolling, social comparison, political stress, endless feeds, and why scrolling can feel like rest while leaving you more depleted. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Pacing as deliberately scheduling real recovery in advance so you can continue doing the things that matter. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Early warning signs that you are pushing beyond capacity: sleep changes, insomnia, waking too early, free-floating anxiety, a racing heart, nervous-system activation, inability to nap, and changes in circadian rhythm. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why physical warning signs can show up before burnout fully takes over. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Healthy ambition: staying engaged in purposeful work, creative pursuits, activism, community involvement, and meaningful goals—without turning exhaustion into a status symbol. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why purposeful activity can be fulfilling and energizing, while relentless overwork can destroy the ability to stay connected to what you care about. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Capacity as individual rather than moral: some people recharge through packed weekends, while others need significant quiet recovery time. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why needing downtime is not laziness, disengagement, or failure. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why rigid time-management systems often fail for neurodivergent adults. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Energy management: identifying when you naturally have more focus, engagement, capacity, and access to flow. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why your best work may happen in the morning, late afternoon, evening, or even late at night—and why your schedule should work with your actual rhythm when possible. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What "flow" feels like: becoming deeply engaged, losing track of time, feeling pulled forward by meaningful work, and experiencing focus with less forced effort. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why working against natural energy rhythms often requires adrenaline and brute force, making work feel heavier and more draining. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> "Pulse points": the natural high-energy moments in your day when demanding tasks, creative work, problem-solving, or important conversations may fit best.elizabethsvoboda p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A low-effort capacity audit: asking yourself whether you can realistically keep your current pace for one year, three years, or five years. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why dread about maintaining your current pace can be useful information. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Incremental pacing: reducing one commitment, one hour, one volunteer responsibility, or one unnecessary demand instead of dropping out of everything. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> "Rigid flexibility," inspired by Olympic middle-distance runner Ajee' Wilson: protecting important non-negotiables while allowing flexible timing around them. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What elite athletes understand about recovery: intense effort requires equally intentional rest. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why recovery is not an indulgence—it is part of maintaining long-term performance. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Brief candle moments: short but deeply meaningful encounters that can change the trajectory of someone's day, identity, confidence, or future. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why giving back does not require taking on a massive, life-consuming commitment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How a five- or ten-minute conversation, encouragement, mentorship moment, or act of connection can make a real difference. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Selective mediocrity: intentionally doing "good enough" work on low-value tasks so you can reserve real energy for the work and people that matter most.elizabethsvoboda p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why Type A, perfectionistic, high-achieving, and neurodivergent people may need permission to be strategically mediocre. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The concept of doing something "half-assed on purpose" when it is necessary but not meaningful enough to deserve your best energy. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Restorative rest versus numbing avoidance. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why a good break is often very different from the work you were doing: physical movement after desk work, time outdoors, walking, music, stretching, quiet, or play. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why time limits alone may not stop doomscrolling. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Identity-based screen boundaries: asking what you are actually trying to do online and choosing a restorative alternative when there is no useful answer. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why external achievement metrics can signal "success chasing" rather than meaningful work: awards, promotions, praise, titles, likes, and approval. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How meaningful work may focus more on connection, contribution, legacy, relationships, and impact. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why meaningful work can still lead to burnout if you never protect your own needs. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Healthy selfishness: caring for yourself enough to sustain the work you care about over the long term. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What to do after burnout: rest enough to think clearly, reconnect with purpose, and use the Hero's Journey Restorying Exercise to identify your values, helpers, obstacles, and legacy. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why granular pacing strategies work better after you reconnect with what you actually want your life to stand for. About the Guest Elizabeth Svoboda is a science writer, author, speaker, and researcher who translates psychology, neuroscience, behavior, motivation, resilience, selflessness, creativity, and human thriving into accessible language. Her writing has appeared in Scientific American, Greater Good, The Boston Globe, Psychology Today, and The New York Times, among other publications.elizabethsvoboda+1 Her latest book, The Art of Pacing: A Guide to Balancing Short-Term Demands with Long-Term Thriving, blends research, memoir, and interviews with Olympic athletes, coaches, entrepreneurs, performers, and psychologists to explore how people can balance ambition and rest without burning out.simonandschuster The book introduces tools including energy management, pulse points, modulation, brief candle moments, selective mediocrity, and narrative reflection to help readers make meaningful progress at a sustainable pace.elizabethsvoboda Find Elizabeth's writing, book information, speaking resources, and newsletter at elizabethsvoboda.com. Follow her on Instagram at @svobodster.elizabethsvoboda Key Takeaways p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Pacing is not giving up. It is learning to manage your energy so you can sustain the work, relationships, creative pursuits, and community commitments that matter to you. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Procrastination usually drains energy; pacing intentionally restores energy before you reach a crisis point. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Your capacity is individual. A schedule that energizes someone else may overload you. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Time management is often too rigid for real lif

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ADULTING WITH AUTISM A movement for neurodivergent adults, created by autistic occupational therapist April Ratchford, OTR/L. Adulting with Autism is a global community for autistic and ADHD adults navigating independence, relationships, college life, careers, emotional regulation, and real-world executive-function challenges. With over 2.7 million downloads, April blends lived experience, clinical insight, and honest conversation to guide neurodivergent adults into their next chapter of growth. Each episode brings practical tools, mental-health strategies, autistic storytelling, and real talk about boundaries, burnout, sensory needs, finances, friendships, and the messy parts of becoming an independent adult. Featuring leading experts in autism, mental health, neuroscience, accessibility, and creative industries — along with deeply human stories from autistic adults around the world. If you're a late-diagnosed autistic adult, a college student trying to survive executive-function chaos, or a neurodivergent person trying to build a life that actually fits — you are in the right place. 🎙️ Hosted by: April Ratchford, OTR/L — autistic occupational therapist, autism advocate, author, and executive contributor to Brainz Magazine.

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  • Creator
    April Ratchford MS OT/L
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    359
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 April Ratchford MS OT/L
  • Show Website
    Adulting with Autism

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