Adventures of Des and Cort

adventuresofdesandcort

Welcome to the Adventures of Des & Cort podcast, where lifelong friendship meets unfiltered conversation. Join Des and Cort, two best friends, as they invite you into their world filled with laughter, tears, and everything in between. In each episode, Des and Cort delve deep into the intricacies of their bond, sharing stories of their adventures, triumphs, and challenges. From navigating the complexities of relationships to tackling career aspirations and personal growth, nothing is off-limits. But this podcast isn't just about Des and Cort—it's a celebration of the sisterhood and camaraderie that binds women together. Through their candid discussions and relatable anecdotes, they aim to create a safe and welcoming space where listeners can see themselves reflected, find solidarity, and perhaps glean a nugget of wisdom or two. So whether you're in need of a good laugh, a shoulder to lean on, or simply seeking connection with kindred spirits, tune in to the Adventures of Des & Cort podcast. Because life's greatest journey is best traveled with a friend by your side

  1. Oct 22

    Boy Scout T*****s

    Send us Fan Mail Welcome back to Adventures of Des and Cort, where 30 minutes apparently means 90, our brains have officially left the building, and Des has a bra situation that nobody was prepared for. 😂 Let's start with Cort's Hot Flash: PEOPLE WHO TELL YOU SOMETHING WILL TAKE 30 MINUTES AND THEN TAKE 90 DAMN MINUTES. Des had an appointment in Boise, and Cort was patiently waiting in the car, reading her book like a perfectly reasonable human being. The appointment was supposed to take 30 minutes. No big deal, right? Except 30 minutes turned into an hour. Then an hour and a half. Meanwhile, Cort is sitting in a car slowly roasting like a rotisserie chicken, wondering if she's going to survive long enough to finish her chapter. 🔥😂 At what point do we stop calling it an appointment and start calling it a hostage situation? We also get into the joys of perimenopause and what it's doing to our brains. Why are we suddenly incapable of remembering basic words? Why do we start a sentence with complete confidence and then completely lose the plot halfway through? Why does our brain suddenly go blank when we're trying to explain something that we KNOW we know? It's like our brains have 47 tabs open, none of them are responding, and one is playing music we can't find. And the worst part? Sometimes we walk away from a conversation wondering if we sounded like complete idiots because we couldn't find the word we were looking for. Ladies, please tell us we're not alone. 😂 Then Des introduces us to her latest wardrobe crisis: a new bra. Apparently, it feels so strange that she thinks she looks like a chubby little boy with man boobs. Her official diagnosis? BOY SCOUT T*****S. And unfortunately, once those words entered the conversation, we could not unsee it. We're sorry in advance if you now look at your own bra situation differently. Plus, we get into plenty of other topics, random observations, and our usual side conversations because staying on track has never exactly been our strongest skill. 🎧 Listen now to Adventures of Des and Cort on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!   We can't grow without your support! Do us a solid and leave a review! Don't forget to follow and share!  Instagram: @adventures_of_des_and_cort TikTok: @adventuresofdesandcort

  2. Oct 15

    FAFO

    Send us Fan Mail You know what they say... F around and find out. And apparently, Cort is happy to help you with that. 😂 This week on Adventures of Des and Cort, we're talking about unreasonable people, unreasonable fears, and the unreasonable things that make us want to lose our damn minds. Let's start with Cort's Hot Flash. Cort rented a house in Moscow for parents' weekend and planned to have two extra people stay with her group. The house had FOUR bedrooms, so she figured it wouldn't be a big deal. But, being a responsible human, she decided to give the host a heads-up. BIG. MISTAKE. The host immediately called and informed her that she could simply leave an extra $200 PER NIGHT, PER PERSON on the counter when she checked out. EXCUSE ME?! Cort wasn't buying it. She knew the timing of parents' weekend was giving this guy the confidence to charge whatever the hell he wanted because he assumed there were no other options. But here's where things get interesting. Instead of accepting the ridiculous price hike, Cort went back to searching, found another rental that had dropped its price, booked it, and canceled the original reservation for a full refund. She ended up with a BETTER rental for LESS money. FAFO, SIR. 😂 Then we get into the completely unreasonable things that drive us absolutely nuts. Specifically, the sound of a bathroom fan. We KNOW it's ridiculous. We KNOW it's just a fan. But that sound? It's like nails on a chalkboard, and suddenly we'd rather listen to literally anything else. Which got us thinking... what's your irrational annoyance? What completely harmless thing makes you want to crawl out of your own skin? We need to know we're not the only ones with these oddly specific grievances. Des also takes us back to her childhood in Las Vegas, where she lived until she was 11 and the Bloods and Crips were all over the news and pop culture. While other kids were worrying about cooties and monsters under the bed, little Des was worried about getting JUMPED INTO A GANG AGAINST HER WILL. 😂 She genuinely thought she could just be minding her own business, walking down the street, when a group of gang members might grab her and beat her into joining. GIRL. WHAT WAS YOUR EXIT STRATEGY?! Were you going to explain that you had homework? Tell them your mom was waiting for you? Politely decline the invitation to organized crime? "I'm sorry, I can't join today. I have plans." 💀 Apparently, in Des's childhood imagination, gang membership was less of a choice and more of an aggressive door-to-door sales pitch, except instead of a vacuum cleaner, they were trying to recruit you into the Bloods or Crips. A clip from Ricki Lake recently brought this deeply unnecessary childhood fear roaring back, because apparently our brains never delete anything useful OR useless. Somewhere in Des's mind, little 10-year-old her is STILL looking over her shoulder, just in case someone is trying to sign her up for a gang she never applied to join. 😂 And then there's Willie's fear of knives. Yes, Des's dog Willie is scared of knives. Which sounds ridiculous until you think about it for a second. I mean... have you SEEN a knife? Sharp, pointy, absolutely no business being that threatening while sitting in a kitchen drawer. Maybe Willie is onto something. 😂 Plus, we get into plenty of other topics, questionable opinions, and our usual side conversations that somehow take us 47 miles away from where we started. Listen now to Adventures of Des and Cort on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!   We can't grow without your support! Do us a solid and leave a review! Don't forget to follow and share!  Instagram: @adventures_of_des_and_cort TikTok: @adventuresofdesandcort

  3. Oct 1

    Des and Cort Party of Two

    Send us Fan Mail We took Chicago by storm... or at least we walked A LOT, ate some good food, laughed until our stomachs hurt, and learned that apparently two grown women can almost miss a flight while standing approximately 30 feet from their actual gate. 😂 We're recapping our Chicago adventure, and let us tell you... we had THE BEST time. Des's Hot Flash starts at the airport with a man who apparently felt the need to rush in and claim the overhead bin space from Desiree because, according to him, “I never get to put my bag up there.” Sir. It's an overhead bin. Not a winning lottery ticket. It wasn't that serious, but Des has thoughts. And honestly, the men in our lives would have never acted that way. 😂 Then there was our 4:30 AM airport experience, complete with what sounded like a rooster alarm clock going off at the boarding gate. Nothing says “good morning” quite like being half asleep at the airport and hearing a rooster announce the beginning of your day. We also almost missed our connection, but not because we were completely oblivious. Our gate was a tiny gate that was already packed, so we were hanging out right next to it at another gate, fully aware that our flight was boarding. We were boarding Group 7. What we failed to realize was that this was a much smaller plane, which meant they were going to board that thing at approximately the speed of light. Suddenly we're like... WAIT. WHY IS EVERYONE GONE?! We made it. Obviously. But perhaps a little more awareness of airplane size would have been helpful. 😂 And then there is Cortnie's favorite part of flying: the safety briefing, which apparently functions as a very effective lullaby. Once we got to Chicago, we were ready to explore. We did the architecture boat tour, saw the city from the river, walked our asses all over Chicago, ate, drank, laughed and had the absolute BEST time. And then we discovered something neither of us expected... LAND SICKNESS. Not from the boat. From staying on the 31st floor of our hotel. Apparently after a few days of being way up there, Cortnie's body decided that solid ground was merely a suggestion. 😂 We also got a taste of bougie travel, and let's just say... once you experience certain things, you start wondering why you ever traveled any other way. Then there was the woman who absolutely would NOT let go of the fact that there are microplastics in bottled water and that you can refill your water bottle at the refill stations. We hear you, ma'am. We understand the concern. But at some point, you have to let it go. 😂 We talk about the trip, the laughs, the little moments, the things that went sideways, and why getting away together was exactly what we needed. And, as usual, we talked about approximately 47 other things because apparently, we cannot simply have one conversation. We have to have ALL the conversations. 🎧 Listen now to Adventures of Des and Cort on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts! We can't grow without your support! Do us a solid and leave a review! Don't forget to follow and share!  Instagram: @adventures_of_des_and_cort TikTok: @adventuresofdesandcort

  4. Sep 17

    Slippin’ In Shit

    Send us Fan Mail This episode went places. We’re talking AI-generated photos, questionable nap routines, fantasy football, car wash disasters, Microsoft Teams, and... literal shit. So basically, another completely normal conversation between Des and Cort. 😂 Des’s Hot Flash this week is for the people who are accepting compliments on their AI-generated photos like they actually look like that. Listen. We love an AI glow-up. Make yourself a princess. Put yourself on a yacht. Give yourself hair that would require an entire team of professionals to maintain. Have fun with it! But when someone says, “You look gorgeous!” and you respond like, “Thank you!” when the AI version of you has a completely different face... GIRL. You can enjoy the picture. You can think it's fun. But please stop accepting compliments on a face that isn't even yours. 😂 Then Cort has an important question: How the hell do you nap? Because apparently there are two types of people. People who take a quick little nap... and Des. Des will put on her pajamas in the middle of the damn day, get fully under the covers, and take a legitimate nap like it's nighttime. Then, if she has somewhere to go later, she'll get dressed again. Cort has questions. We also need to talk about the woman who competed in a Hydrox competition, shit herself... and kept going. There is so much to unpack here. Is it impressive? Absolutely. Is it determination? Sure. Is it sanitary? Absolutely the hell not. Would either of us ever do it? We would simply like to say... NO. Then Des went to the car wash and, after previously making fun of Cort for being nervous about the whole process, managed to prove that Cort's concern may not have been completely irrational. Des put the car in reverse. The attendant was not impressed. 😂 We also get into fantasy football, Microsoft Teams, and approximately 87 side conversations that had absolutely nothing to do with anything we started talking about. You know the drill. Come hang out with us for another episode of Adventures of Des and Cort, where the conversations are unpredictable, the opinions are strong, and apparently sometimes people are just... slippin' in shit. 🎧 Listen now to Adventures of Des and Cort on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts! We can't grow without your support! Do us a solid and leave a review! Don't forget to follow and share!  Instagram: @adventures_of_des_and_cort TikTok: @adventuresofdesandcort

  5. Sep 10

    We Were Supposed To Talk About...

    Send us Fan Mail Honestly, we're not even sure what we were supposed to talk about anymore. 😂 This episode is a whole lotta jibber jabber, side conversations, opinions nobody asked for, and somehow... a LOT to unpack. Des kicks things off with a hot flash for people who absolutely cannot function under pressure. A short timeline? Pressure? Something due in two hours? WE'RE ON IT. What do you mean you need more time?! Give us a looming deadline, a time crunch, and absolutely no room for error and WATCH US WORK. If there isn't pressure, we're probably not doing it. Give us three weeks with no deadline and suddenly we're confused about who we are and what we're doing with our lives. Cort's hot flash is for the people who meet you for approximately 10 minutes and then decide they have you completely figured out. Ummm... hello? You have known me for ten minutes. 😂 Go ahead and tell me who you think I am, but unless you've actually known me for years, your opinion of me is probably not going to keep me up at night. We talk about our camping weekend. Laidback, family, good friends, campfires, and cool weather. It was so nice to get away. We are pist with our last-minute packing this week for a business event, and the fact that apparently “I'll pack later” is a completely reasonable strategy until you're standing in front of your suitcase wondering what you’re going to wear.  We're also fully invested in football this year, which means fantasy football has officially taken over more of our brain space than is probably healthy. But we're having fun, so that's what matters. 🏈 We also have a little book trauma to discuss after finishing The Last Letter. WHO WRITES BOOKS LIKE THIS?! We're still processing. Our emotional stability would like a word with the author. Des also tells us about feeding the stray kitty, because apparently her tiny feline friend has figured out exactly which humans are suckers for a hungry face. 🐈 And somewhere in between all of that, we manage to discuss approximately 37 other things that were absolutely not on the agenda. Basically, we were supposed to talk about something. Instead, we jibber jabbered. As usual. 🎧 Listen now to Adventures of Des and Cort on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!   We can't grow without your support! Do us a solid and leave a review! Don't forget to follow and share!  Instagram: @adventures_of_des_and_cort TikTok: @adventuresofdesandcort

  6. Sep 3

    Who TF Has Been Pooping in Our Podcast Room?

    Send us Fan Mail This episode takes us everywhere. Literally everywhere. There is wine, road rage, screen-time shame, Chicago planning, elder abuse, camping excitement, shopping priorities... and eventually, a horrifying discovery that makes us question everything. Des starts with a hot flash for the people who move painfully slow in the fast lane...on the interstate. You know the ones. They are taking their sweet damn time while everyone behind them is ready to pass them emotionally, spiritually, and possibly physically. Des maintains that these people are more dangerous than the ones going way too fast. 😂 Cort has a little financial trauma to unpack after she and Des somehow managed to spend $70 on four glasses of wine. FOUR. With tip. At this point, Cort would like everyone to know that she should have just bought the damn bottle. 🍷 We're also calling ourselves out for our recent phone addiction. We keep picking up our phones when we should be doing literally anything else. Especially working out. GIRLLLL. PUT THE PHONE DOWN. GO DO YOUR DAMN WORKOUT. We're getting excited for our upcoming Chicago trip and need the Chicago experts to help us out. Give us your must-go restaurants, places, shops, experiences, hidden gems and anything else we absolutely cannot miss. Because obviously we also need to go shopping ASAP. New event? New outfits. This is non-negotiable. 👗 Des brings up a heartbreaking story about a woman who lost her father and his home after discovering that the person she trusted to care for him had taken advantage of the situation. We talk about elder abuse, how devastating it is, and how anyone who exploits an elderly or vulnerable person deserves a very special place in the afterlife. Then we shift gears completely because we're heading CAMPING! 🏕️ Fall weather. Campfires. Football. Adults only. Limited service. Honestly, the limited service might be our favorite part. 😂 And just when you think we've covered enough random topics for one episode, we make a discovery at the very END of recording. There is mouse poop. ALL. OVER. THE PODCAST ROOM. We had apparently been sitting, talking, laughing and recording in a room that some tiny little assholes had decided to make their personal bathroom. Were we disgusted? Yes. Were we mortified? Absolutely. Did we immediately start wondering how long the mice had been listening to us? Also yes. So now we have questions. WHO TF HAS BEEN POOPING IN OUR PODCAST ROOM? 🐭💩 And, as always, we took several scenic detours along the way because apparently neither of us knows how to have just ONE conversation. 😂 🎧 Listen now to Adventures of Des and Cort on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts! #adventuresofdesandcort #womenintheir40s #podcastforwomen #midlife #girltalk We can't grow without your support! Do us a solid and leave a review! Don't forget to follow and share!  Instagram: @adventures_of_des_and_cort TikTok: @adventuresofdesandcort

  7. Aug 27

    The People's Elbow

    Send us Fan Mail This week on Adventures of Des and Cort, we're learning that even reaching for a swimsuit cover-up can apparently become a contact sport. 😂 Des's Hot Flash this week starts innocently enough. She reached into a tote for a swimsuit cover-up and somehow managed to grab the iron cord instead. The iron came flying directly off the shelf and straight onto her head. Immediate rage. Seeing stars. A brief moment of questioning every life choice that led her to this moment. Then, naturally, Google searches. Because apparently the first thing you do after getting assaulted by your own household appliance is ask the internet if you're dying. 🔥👊 Cort didn't have a Hot Flash this week. Instead, she wanted to give her husband some well-deserved praise. Josh is the ultimate hype man and apparently has an unlimited supply of compliments, encouragement and affection. We love a man who knows his assignment. ❤️ We also check in on our brand-new Hot Flashers Fantasy Football League. It's all women, there are LOTS of questions, some confusion, and absolutely no shortage of confidence. Do we know exactly what we're doing? Not yet. Are we going to have fun? 100%. 🏈🔥 Then we had our final water aerobics class of the season and we are genuinely bummed about it. Warm water, sunshine, movement, and a bunch of ladies laughing together? Sign us up. We're already looking forward to next year. 🏊‍♀️☀️ And of course, we have our usual side conversations that somehow take us in twelve completely different directions. An iron attack. A husband appreciation moment. Fantasy football confusion. The end of our water aerobics era. Just another completely normal day with Des & Cort. 😂 🎧 Listen now to Adventures of Des and Cort on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts! We can't grow without your support! Do us a solid and leave a review! Don't forget to follow and share!  Instagram: @adventures_of_des_and_cort TikTok: @adventuresofdesandcort

  8. Aug 20

    Why are you touching me?

    Send us Fan Mail This week on Adventures of Des and Cort, we have questions. Important questions. Questions humanity has apparently been avoiding. Like... how the hell do you face in the shower? 🚿 Front? Back? Sideways? Are you a flipper who rotates with the water like a rotisserie chicken? Cort has discovered she may be the odd woman out because she showers sideways or backward, while Des and apparently everyone else she questioned are full-on flippers. We need answers. This may be the most important poll we've ever conducted. But first, our Hot Flashes are HOT 🔥 Des is irritated because her brother, with the best intentions, changed her parents' phone plan. Sounds helpful... until you realize Des will inevitably be the one answering all the questions when something stops working. Sometimes you just have to leave well enough alone, people. 😂 Cort's Hot Flash is a little more personal. Handsy husbands. Specifically, husbands who decide NOW is the perfect time for physical affection when you absolutely do not want to be touched. Apparently, there is no safe position. Can't bend over. Can't walk by. Can't exist peacefully. Ladies, you understand. We also escaped our normal routines and tried water aerobics, and honestly... we're obsessed. Warm weather, perfect water temperature, beautiful pool, and the nicest group of ladies. It was exactly the kind of grandma activity we didn't know we needed. There are only three sessions left next Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, so if you've been thinking about going, GO! 🏊‍♀️😂 Then Des tells us a story that will make you sleep differently forever. A cockroach got into a woman's ear... and Des actually SAW THEM REMOVE IT. We repeat: SHE SAW IT. There will now be cotton in ears, excessive pillow checking, and absolutely no sleeping peacefully. 🪳👂😳 We also talk about the Lindsey Clancy trial and the questions we're having about the timeline and what we've heard so far. We're talking through our reactions and why reasonable doubt is weighing heavily on our minds. And, naturally, there are approximately 900 side conversations because staying on topic is simply not our ministry. 🎧 Listen now to Adventures of Des and Cort on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts! #adventuresofdesandcort #howdoyoushower #podcastlife #womeninour40s #hotflashes #wateraerobics #midlifechaos #friendship #yapsesh #grandmaera   We can't grow without your support! Do us a solid and leave a review! Don't forget to follow and share!  Instagram: @adventures_of_des_and_cort TikTok: @adventuresofdesandcort

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5
out of 5
16 Ratings

About

Welcome to the Adventures of Des & Cort podcast, where lifelong friendship meets unfiltered conversation. Join Des and Cort, two best friends, as they invite you into their world filled with laughter, tears, and everything in between. In each episode, Des and Cort delve deep into the intricacies of their bond, sharing stories of their adventures, triumphs, and challenges. From navigating the complexities of relationships to tackling career aspirations and personal growth, nothing is off-limits. But this podcast isn't just about Des and Cort—it's a celebration of the sisterhood and camaraderie that binds women together. Through their candid discussions and relatable anecdotes, they aim to create a safe and welcoming space where listeners can see themselves reflected, find solidarity, and perhaps glean a nugget of wisdom or two. So whether you're in need of a good laugh, a shoulder to lean on, or simply seeking connection with kindred spirits, tune in to the Adventures of Des & Cort podcast. Because life's greatest journey is best traveled with a friend by your side

Information

  • Creator
    adventuresofdesandcort
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    123
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Adventures of Des and Cort
  • Show Website
    Adventures of Des and Cort

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