“Without losing a piece of me, how do I get to heaven?Without changing a part of me, how do I get to heaven?” In this episode of The Buddie System, Han, Cil, and Rachel act as your fandom priests and perform a queer coding exorcism on Eddie Diaz’s Catholic Guilt™️ (as shown in the hit network television series entering its 10th season: 9-1-1). Our sermon breaks down his complete history with religion and faith and how it left him with religious trauma that makes him feel like something in him is broken. Eddie has spent his whole life looking for God in the wrong places, without realizing what’s been right in front of him: Buck, the one person he’s always had unwavering faith in. We grab our rosaries (aka baby’s first fidget toy) and dive into the “Old Testament”: the foundations of comp-het, peer-reviewed research on queer people raised in homophobic churches, the Hays Code’s history of veiling queerness in religious guilt, and why we think Tim Minear is purposefully referencing the Ancient Texts of Queer Coding through Eddie. Then we read The Gospel According to Eddie Diaz (aka The Eddie Scriptures), every example of faith, belief, or lack thereof from Season 2 through Season 9. We go from Eddie asking for a sign right before Shannon dies, the universe screaming at him, and Hot Priest’s Juice Bar Intervention, to Abuela’s sage advice on where to find God’s love, and a hospital chapel bearing witness to perhaps the most homoerotic stabbing on network TV since Supernatural. Next, we enter The Book of Acts, where faith is actually put into practice, and for Eddie that’s always been The Church of Buckley. In 9x18 Eddie tells God, “I’ve been trying to believe… you’re not making it real easy,” but per our scriptures, worshiping at the altar of Buck has always come naturally. Finally, in Revelation, or The Buddie System Scriptures, we talk about the future we’d like to see for Eddie and his relationship with religion: free of guilt and shame, drinking the juice, and hopefully rolling the stone away from his closet. This episode is dedicated to our TV dad, Tim Minear, for giving us enough crumbs to cater the last supper. Happy Birthday, hope you enjoy your present! 😂 “All my time is wasted, feeling like my heart's mistaken, ohSo if I'm losing a piece of me, maybe I don't want heaven”Episode title inspired by “Heaven” by Troye Sivan ❤️🔥 What We Want In An "Eddie Begins Again" Episode – Check out this week’s Patreon-exclusive Best Buddies Mini-Segment! 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Music by DIV!NITY Chapters (00:00:00) Welcome Back to the Eddie Queer Coding Series 🌈 (00:01:36) Eddie's Catholic Guilt Exorcism – Setting the Stage (00:10:08) A Brief History of Queer Coding & Subtext (00:13:36) Eddie’s Catholic Guilt Begins (00:17:14) Eddie Asks for a Sign and Gets a Ruined Miracle | 2x17 (00:19:11) “I Wasn’t Enough” | 3x08 (00:20:21) The Patron Saint of Travelers | 3x15 (00:21:48) “I Don’t Worry About Things I Can’t Control” | 4x06 (00:24:11) “I Didn’t Save Them” | 5x13-5x14 (00:25:36) “God Has Spoken” | 5x16 (00:28:41) Confused About the Definition of Belief | 6x07 (00:30:43) The Manchurian Catholic | 7x05 (00:35:37) “I’m Broken and I Can’t Fix It” | 7x09 (00:38:18) An Exercise in Faith, A Thought Journey (00:42:30) “I Don’t Deserve Forgiveness, or Joy” | 8x06 (00:52:55) “I Was Looking in the Wrong Place” | 9x05 (01:05:26) Coming Out as Holey | 9x18 (01:13:42) The Church of Buckley (01:19:35) Our Hope for Eddie (01:33:18) Our Closing Sermon – Reflecting on Religion, Repression & Self-Acceptance 📔 Articles & References From This Episode 📔 (In Order of Mention) What Is Compulsory Heterosexuality?, by Tara McGrath, Marriage & Family Therapist, on The Agnostic TherapistReligious affiliation, internalized homophobia, and mental health in lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals, by David M. Barnes & Ilan H. Meyer, published in the American Journal of Orthopsychiatry (2012, Volume 82, Issue 4)Taught to be Ashamed: Sexual Shame, Faith, and Moral Incongruence in Men’s Psychosexual Development , by Christopher S. Smith, published in Sexuality & Culture (2026, Volume 30)The Politics of the Gender, Sexuality, and Religion Nexus: Perspectives from the Margins, by Victoria Basug Slabinski and Nicolas "Nicola" Chehade for Contending Modernities at the University of Notre Dame9-1-1 Ryan Guzman Interview: Buck's Coming Out, Eddie's Sexuality - Parade, by Natalie Oganesyan for ParadeThe Gay Second Generation: Sexual Identity and Family Relations of Filipino and Latino Gay Men, by Anthony C. Ocampo, published in the Journal of Ethnic and Migration Studies (2014, Volume 40, Issue 1)9-1-1's Ryan Guzman on Eddie and Buck's heart-to-heart, Maddie's wedding dress moment, and Marisol, by Patrick Gomez for Entertainment Weekly9-1-1’s Ryan Guzman Breaks Down Eddie's Biggest Season 7 Moments, by Kat Pettibone for Us WeeklyINTERVIEW: '9-1-1's Ryan Guzman on Eddie Diaz’s Latino Identity, Catholic Guilt & That Mustache, by Lissette Lanuza Sáenz for RemezclaHow a podcast is helping this Catholic and gay Latino man break the stigma, by Alejandra Molina for The National Catholic Reporter'9-1-1' star Ryan Guzman on Eddie's 'Risky Business' dance and mustache shave, by Patrick Gomez for Entertainment Weekly'9-1-1': Ryan Guzman Talks 'Risky Business' Dance, New Version of Eddie Going Forward, by Meredith Jacobs for TV Insider'9-1-1': Tim Minear on Tommy and Abby's Connection, Buck's Relationship, Eddie's Dance, by Meredith Jacobs for TV Insider9-1-1 Creator Tim Minear Reflects on Season 9, by Sophia Soto for Nerdtropolis'9-1-1' season 9 preview: New captain and crossover chances (exclusive), by Patrick Gomez for Entertainment Weeklya href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/9781118883648.ch3" rel="noopener...