Divorce Happens

Fresh Starts
Fresh Starts
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Welcome to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we inspire, educate, and support you through divorce and beyond so that you can start fresh on the next phase of your journey. Produced by Fresh Starts Registry, the only divorce registry platform for everything you need to begin again, including home items, hype team, and everything in between. Remember, divorce happens...and then, we start fresh. We're here to support you before, during, and after divorce. Hosted by Olivia Dreizen Howell, the co-founder and CEO of Fresh Starts Registry.

  1. 6d ago

    Hey Olivia, is it normal to feel like your whole social circle shifted overnight?

    “I looked around at a dinner with 'my people' recently, the friend group I'd had for over a decade, and realized none of them were actually there for me during my divorce.” It’s a quiet, disorienting moment: sitting at a familiar table with people who have known you for years and realizing they weren’t the ones who carried you through the hardest season of your life. In this Hey Olivia episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia takes on a question so many people ask after divorce: is it normal to feel like your whole social circle shifted overnight? Olivia’s answer starts with a distinction that changes everything. A decade of history and the actual capacity to show up during a crisis are two completely different things. Crisis reveals capacity, not just affection, and a friend who couldn’t show up may still genuinely care. She explains how fixed roles in long friendships can make it hard for old friends to show up differently, even when you need them to. And she reframes that feeling of being a stranger at your own dinner table: it isn’t something to push past. It’s real, useful data. From there, Olivia offers a gentler path than confrontation. You can quietly let your time follow what’s actually being reciprocated, no dramatic conversation required. If newer friends are the ones showing up, that doesn’t make those friendships any less real or meaningful. And this kind of social loss deserves real space of its own, separate from the grief of the divorce itself. As Olivia puts it, “Crisis reveals capacity, not just affection.” 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/ 💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/

  2. 6d ago

    Hey Olivia, how do I make peace with people not being who I thought they were?

    "I always assumed my college best friends, the four of us who swore we'd be there for each other no matter what, would be in my corner no matter what happened in my marriage. When it actually fell apart, I found out that wasn't true." In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode, Olivia helps a listener make sense of a twenty-year friendship belief tested for the first time — and coming back different than expected. Olivia covers: Why this is a heavier kind of disillusionment than an ordinary friendship fading over timeWhy "no matter what" is often a promise made in theory that's never actually tested until real crisis arrivesWhy having new information now doesn't mean you got someone wrong for twenty yearsThe difference between someone's capacity in a specific moment and who they fundamentally are as a personA truer middle ground between "they were fake friends" and "I'm overreacting": real friends who didn't have what this specific moment requiredWhy making peace doesn't mean rewriting twenty years of real memories, just updating expectations going forwardWhy the friend who did show up deserves to be the center of this story, not a footnote "Untested loyalty and proven loyalty are not the same thing, even when they're spoken with total sincerity at the time they're made." Need support navigating this? Fresh Starts offers free consults, a vetted professional network, and free guides. Learn more at freshstartsregistry.com. If this episode helped, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it today. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/ 💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/

  3. 6d ago

    Hey Olivia, how do I stop keeping score of who picked his side?

    "Some of our mutual friends have clearly chosen his side since the divorce, still inviting him to game nights, tagging him in photos I wasn't asked to. I've caught myself scrolling old group texts, mentally tallying who reached out and who didn't." In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode, Olivia helps a listener let go of the compulsive habit of tallying who chose which side after a divorce. Olivia covers: Why the sting of mutual friends quietly sorting themselves after a divorce is a real, specific loss, not an overreactionWhy tallying who reached out gives concrete shape to diffuse hurt, but doesn't actually resolve anythingThe real difference between grieving a social shift and endlessly tallying itWhy not every friend who drifted made a moral judgment — some of it is structural, tied to old patterns and existing connectionsA simple tool for interrupting the loop: naming it plainly out loud, "I'm keeping score again"Why redirecting energy toward the people who did show up matters more than auditing who leftWhy letting go of the tally isn't the same as pretending the loss didn't hurt "Grieving genuinely moves you through the loss, toward something on the other side of it. Tallying substitutes for grieving." Need support navigating this? Fresh Starts offers free consults, a vetted professional network, and free guides. Learn more at freshstartsregistry.com. If this episode helped, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it today. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/ 💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/

  4. 6d ago

    Hey Olivia, how do I ask for space without hurting the person who actually showed up for me?

    "My sister has been showing up for me nonstop since my divorce, texting every morning and every night, asking if I'm okay a hundred times a week until the question itself starts to feel like pressure." In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode, Olivia helps a listener navigate the flip side of support: how to ask for space from someone whose love is real, without hurting them or feeling ungrateful. Olivia covers: Why needing space from even the most loving support isn't a betrayal of that love or a sign of ingratitudeWhy the guilt of wanting an hour of quiet makes sense, but isn't accurateThe difference between constant checking and actually calibrated supportWhy asking for space is giving someone honest information, not pushing them awayA specific script structure: gratitude first, the specific need second, reassurance thirdWhy unaddressed over-support can quietly build resentment, just like under-support canWhy a pattern of managing everyone else's feelings before your own is worth bringing to a therapist "Asking for space isn't the same as pushing her away. It's giving her real, honest information that actually helps her love you more effectively, not less." Need support navigating this? Fresh Starts offers free consults, a vetted professional network, and free guides. Learn more at freshstartsregistry.com. If this episode helped, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it today. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/ 💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/

  5. 6d ago

    Hey Olivia, how do I let people actually show up for me during my divorce?

    "Every time someone checks in on me since my divorce, I feel guilty for needing it. I keep saying 'I'm fine' even when I'm sitting on my kitchen floor crying five minutes earlier." In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode, Olivia helps a listener navigate the disorienting role reversal of going from the one who always shows up for others to the one who needs support herself. Olivia covers: Why the role reversal from "the steady one" to needing support yourself is genuinely disorienting, not a small adjustmentWhy saying "I'm fine" isn't dishonesty — it's protection, for yourself and for the people who love youThe real cost of saying "I'm fine" every time: people take their cues from what you tell them, and eventually step backA middle ground between "I'm fine" and telling the whole story: honest, bounded responses that still leave the door openWhy needing support during a life-altering season isn't a permanent identity, it's a chapterWhy most people already suspect "fine" isn't the whole truth, and how the performance of fine creates distance instead of protecting the relationshipA concrete step: giving one trusted person one honest answer this week instead of "I'm fine" "There's a genuine difference between someone chronically in crisis and someone honestly, bravely moving through one of the hardest chapters of her entire life. You are the second one, not the first." Need support navigating this? Fresh Starts offers free consults, a vetted professional network, and free guides. Learn more at freshstartsregistry.com. If this episode helped, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it today. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/ 💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/

  6. 6d ago

    Hey Olivia, do I reach out one more time to my best friend who went quiet, or let it go?

    "My best friend of 15 years went quiet on me the second she found out I was getting divorced. No fight, no falling out, she just stopped texting back." In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode, Olivia addresses a kind of loss that doesn't get nearly enough attention: losing a close friend right when you need one most. Olivia covers: Why losing a friend during divorce is its own real, distinct grief, separate from the marriage itselfWhy a friend going silent often says more about her own fear or discomfort than anything you actually didThe different reasons people withdraw — not knowing what to say, feeling pressure to pick a side, being quietly frightened by what a divorce might mean for their own marriageWhy reaching out one more time and letting go aren't necessarily oppositesA specific script for one final, honest, low-pressure messageWhy six months of silence, after reaching out twice, is itself a real answer worth acceptingWhy this kind of layered loss deserves its own grieving process, separate from the grief of the marriage ending "You are fully allowed to let the silence itself be the actual information you're working with." Need support navigating this? Fresh Starts offers free consults, a vetted professional network, and free guides. Learn more at freshstartsregistry.com. If this episode helped, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it today. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/ 💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/

  7. Oct 16

    Hey Olivia, how do I explain to my divorce lawyer that I've been doing everything?

    "Does it matter that I've been doing everything? Or am I going to sound like I'm just complaining?" That's the question at the heart of this week's Hey Olivia letter, and I know so many of you are going to feel it in your chest. It comes from a listener who works full-time and is also the one who cooks every meal, manages the school schedule, handles the doctor's appointments, does the laundry, helps with homework, and gets up at 2am when someone's sick. Now they're getting divorced, about to sit across from their divorce lawyer, and they don't know how to explain any of it. It's a specific kind of exhausted that doesn't always get named out loud. So I named it. The first thing I ask in this episode is that you drop the word "complaining" entirely before you walk into that meeting. What you're describing is the actual, factual shape of your household: who does what, day to day, for your kids. Your lawyer isn't there to referee who worked harder over the years. They're there to understand your family's real structure so they can represent it accurately. I talk about why this matters practically and not just emotionally, since custody and parenting time decisions are often based heavily on who has actually been doing the parenting. Being the default parent isn't a feeling you're having. It's a pattern, and patterns are exactly what a divorce attorney needs to hear about. Then we get into the how. "I do everything" is true, but it's hard for anyone to act on something that vague, so I walk you through getting specific: who takes the kids to the pediatrician, who's the emergency contact at school, who handles bedtime on weeknights. I share a simple week-by-week breakdown you can write down before your first meeting with a family law attorney, what it tells you if your lawyer brushes past it, and how to hold the frustration of an imbalanced marriage alongside the practical question of what your lawyer needs to know right now. You get to describe your family exactly as it is, without shrinking it down first. And you don't have to figure out how to say it perfectly on your own. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/ 💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/

  8. Oct 16

    Hey Olivia, our daughter was stillborn and we're separating. What do we do with her nursery, and who decides?

    "I can't lose any more of her. What do we do, and who decides?" This week's Hey Olivia letter is a really tender one, and I read it slowly. It comes from a parent whose daughter was stillborn at nine months. She was perfect, and they still don't know what happened. Now the marriage is ending, and her nursery is exactly how they left it: the tiny clothes folded in the drawers, the blanket from the hospital, a door that most days can't be opened. One parent wants to keep everything as it is. The other wants to start clearing it out. This episode is for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and for anyone grieving a baby while a family is changing shape. I started with the most important thing: nothing has to happen today. Not this week, not this month. There's no deadline on grief. I talk about why this is so much more than stuff, because those things are proof that your daughter was here and that you are her parents. And I say something gently about the two of you. It can feel like you're on opposite sides, but I don't think you are. You're two people who love the same little girl, each getting through that love in the way you know how. Keeping the room and moving through it are both love. So who decides? You do. Together. I share words you can say out loud so that nothing disappears when someone isn't looking, and the whole gentle middle between keeping everything and clearing it all out: photos of every corner first, then tiny steps, and a memory box for each of you. I talk about the grief of not having an answer, when a therapist, a divorce coach, a mediator, or your attorneys can help, and how to be gentle with the day one of you moves out. Whatever you keep, and whatever you let go of, your daughter is still your daughter. Always. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/ 💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/

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About

Welcome to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we inspire, educate, and support you through divorce and beyond so that you can start fresh on the next phase of your journey. Produced by Fresh Starts Registry, the only divorce registry platform for everything you need to begin again, including home items, hype team, and everything in between. Remember, divorce happens...and then, we start fresh. We're here to support you before, during, and after divorce. Hosted by Olivia Dreizen Howell, the co-founder and CEO of Fresh Starts Registry.

Information

  • Channel
    Fresh Starts
  • Creator
    Fresh Starts Registry
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    328
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Fresh Starts Registry
  • Show Website
    Divorce Happens

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