Divorce Happens

Fresh Starts
  • 5.0 (41)
  • HOW TO
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Welcome to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we inspire, educate, and support you through divorce and beyond so that you can start fresh on the next phase of your journey. Produced by Fresh Starts Registry, the only divorce registry platform for everything you need to begin again, including home items, hype team, and everything in between. Remember, divorce happens...and then, we start fresh. We're here to support you before, during, and after divorce. Hosted by Olivia Dreizen Howell, the co-founder and CEO of Fresh Starts Registry.

  1. The One Thing That Can Lower Conflict in Your Divorce Immediately with Tamar Barbash

    3D AGO

    The One Thing That Can Lower Conflict in Your Divorce Immediately with Tamar Barbash

    Nobody walks into their marriage imagining they’ll one day be parsing text messages from a couch, wondering why their ex won’t respond, trying to figure out how to get through a conversation without it escalating into the same exhausting fight they’ve had a hundred times before. But here you are. And if you’ve ever told yourself “I don’t want this to be a high-conflict divorce” while feeling completely helpless to stop it from becoming one, this episode of Divorce Happens was made for you. Host Olivia Howell sits down with Tamar Barbash, a DCA certified ADR divorce coach and founder of NB Divorce Coaching, for an honest, grounded, and genuinely practical conversation about what it actually takes to reduce conflict in divorce — and why the answer is almost always closer than we think. Tamar’s approach to divorce coaching centers on a truth that is both simple and surprisingly hard to sit with: the only behavior we can change in a divorce is our own. She shares a story about a client who was frustrated that her ex wasn’t responding to her texts about an upcoming weekend schedule change. What looked like stonewalling, Tamar gently helped her see, was actually a bid for control from someone who had watched his entire life be reorganized without his input. The fix wasn’t to send better texts. It was to shift the question from “here’s what I need” to “what do you need from me to make this work?” — a small pivot with an enormous downstream effect. This is the kind of insight Tamar brings to every client conversation: not a judgment about who is right, but a clear-eyed examination of what is actually working and what small shift might change everything. She also speaks candidly about nervous system regulation — the underrated skill of knowing when you are too activated to respond well, and giving yourself permission to wait until you’re not. What makes this episode stand out is how much hope it holds without being naive about how hard any of this is. Tamar doesn’t promise easy. She talks about the moments when you genuinely have to hold your nose and take the high road with someone who, frankly, doesn’t deserve your generosity — and she reframes why doing it anyway is actually in your own interest. For anyone in the middle of a contentious divorce, the takeaway is quietly revolutionary: the goal isn’t to win. It’s to get to the other side with your values intact, your co-parenting relationship functional, and your energy preserved for the life you’re building. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

    15 min
  2. Divorcing an Addict Isn't Like Any Other Divorce with Meredith Beardmore

    5D AGO

    Divorcing an Addict Isn't Like Any Other Divorce with Meredith Beardmore

    Some divorces end with two people who simply grew apart. And then there are divorces that come wrapped in chaos, denial, danger, and a particular kind of loneliness that is almost impossible to explain to anyone who hasn't lived it — the loneliness of loving someone whose addiction has made them a stranger. In this raw and deeply important episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Meredith Beardmore, a licensed therapist, author, and creator of the YouTube channel Men with Mare, to explore one of the least-talked-about intersections in the divorce space: what it actually means to divorce an addict. With both clinical expertise and hard-won personal experience, Meredith brings an honesty to this conversation that is rare, grounding, and long overdue. Meredith doesn't sugarcoat what divorcing someone with an alcohol or drug addiction — or a porn or gambling addiction — actually looks like. She explains that when addiction is present, you are not simply ending a marriage. You are competing with a disease. You are negotiating with someone who is not operating from the same reality, someone whose addiction shapes what they see, what they admit to, and what they're willing to confront. She draws a striking parallel between addiction patterns and narcissistic abuse, noting that the tactics — shifting stories, rewriting history, blaming the sober spouse — can look nearly identical, even when a formal diagnosis doesn't exist. Her own story is woven throughout: the moment she had to call the police to protect her son from an intoxicated ex who showed up uninvited; the agonizing legal battles to have addiction taken seriously as a safety concern; the request for a year of documented sobriety before unsupervised visitation — and the reaction that told her everything. "If someone's serious about recovery," she says quietly, "they will say yes to whatever you need." What listeners will leave with is not just a clearer picture of how dangerous and disorienting this kind of divorce can be — it's also a map toward survival. Meredith's core message is one of freedom: you do not have to walk on eggshells for the rest of your life. You do not have to center your entire existence around someone else's addiction. Life after divorcing an addict can be genuinely, measurably better — for you, and for your children. Her practical guidance is concrete: find a therapist first, then a trusted friend, and start breaking the isolation the addiction counted on to keep you trapped. For anyone in the thick of it right now, this episode is a lifeline. And for anyone on the other side trying to make sense of what they survived, it is a powerful reminder that they were never alone — and that what they did took extraordinary courage. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

    17 min
  3. Real Talk on Surviving a Coercive Control Divorce with Lisa Happ

    MAR 5

    Real Talk on Surviving a Coercive Control Divorce with Lisa Happ

    If you've ever sat in your driveway and just... not been able to go inside, if you've spent years managing someone else's emotions just to keep the peace, if you've wondered whether you were losing your mind — this episode was made for you. In this raw, practical, and deeply validating conversation on Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Lisa Happ: former therapist, certified divorce coach, narcissistic abuse recovery coach, grief coach, and survivor of a coercive control relationship who lost her son while she was in the process of leaving it. Lisa is the kind of expert who has lived every inch of what she teaches, and that lived experience radiates through every word of this conversation. She works alongside her clients' legal teams, travels the world to appear in court with them, and is available by text at any hour — because she knows that a high-conflict divorce with a coercive or narcissistic partner is not something you can navigate with a once-a-week appointment. It's something you survive, day by day, breath by breath, with the right people in your corner. The centerpiece of this episode is Lisa's foundational truth: you cannot out-strategize your nervous system. You cannot out-logic it. You cannot outrun it. And if you try, it will take you down. From there, she offers a cascade of genuinely actionable tools for anyone in the middle of a high-conflict divorce or narcissistic abuse recovery — tools grounded in nervous system regulation, trauma-informed coaching, and the hard-won wisdom of someone who's been exactly where her clients are. She talks about the danger of over-venting: why telling your story over and over to anyone who will listen actually keeps your nervous system locked in the cycle of abuse, and why there's a crucial difference between venting and processing. She offers a brilliant, boundary-setting phrase — "Thank you for asking. I'm not open to talking about that right now. If anything changes, I'll let you know" — that shuts down intrusive questions without explanation or apology. And she delivers some of the most memorable nervous system hacks in Divorce Happens history: a specific five-to-eight breathing pattern that signals safety to your brain, screaming into a half-empty water bottle until there's nothing left, holding ice cubes, and naming the spiral voice in your head something that makes you laugh — or something ruder than that. What makes this episode truly special is the way Lisa holds two things at once: unflinching honesty about how hard this is, and absolute certainty that you will get through it. She is not here to sugarcoat coercive control or minimize what it costs to leave a relationship built on gaslighting, manipulation, financial abuse, and isolation. But she is also here to tell you, clearly and without reservation: you can build a whole new life on the other side of this. She did. Her clients do. The only way through is to stop trying to think your way out, find the team that actually understands what you're dealing with, and start learning to regulate the nervous system that has been running on crisis mode for years. If you're in a high-conflict divorce, recovering from narcissistic abuse, or just trying to figure out how to take the very first step toward getting support — Lisa's closing advice is for you: you don't have to commit to anything. Just make one call. Take one step. And see how it feels to finally choose yourself. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

    16 min
  4. The Secret Weapon That Changes High-Conflict Co-Parenting Conversations with Lyerly Spongberg

    MAR 4

    The Secret Weapon That Changes High-Conflict Co-Parenting Conversations with Lyerly Spongberg

    You know that feeling — the text comes in from your ex, your stomach drops, and before you've even finished reading it your fingers are flying. You're typing something you'll probably regret, something that's going to make everything worse, and you know it even as you're doing it. If that sounds familiar, this episode of Divorce Happens was made for you. Host Olivia Howell sits down with Lyerly Spongberg — a certified ADR divorce coach, pre-mediation coach, co-parenting specialist, trauma-informed and coercive control-informed coach, and divorce survivor — to unpack one of the most quietly powerful communication tools available to anyone navigating a difficult divorce or high-conflict co-parenting relationship: strategic empathy. It's not a concept you'll find in most divorce advice columns, and it's not about being nice for the sake of being nice. It's about being strategic — and that distinction changes everything. Strategic empathy, sometimes called cognitive empathy, is the conscious act of putting yourself in your co-parent's or ex's shoes — not because you agree with them, not because they deserve it, but because doing so creates a pause between your reaction and your response, opens space for actual conversation, and quietly, powerfully, changes the dynamic of the conflict. Lyerly breaks it down with real-world examples that will sound immediately recognizable to anyone mid-divorce: the last-minute custody schedule change, the heated mediation table, the text that arrives out of nowhere and ruins your entire afternoon. She offers specific phrases — "I can understand how you might feel that way," "it sounds like this really matters to you" — that aren't about capitulation or people-pleasing. They're about buying yourself the one thing you desperately need in a triggered moment: a beat. A breath. A chance to respond instead of react. Olivia and Lyerly also tackle the hardest objection head-on: what do you do when you genuinely don't want to be empathetic, when this person has hurt you deeply and you feel like extending any grace at all is a betrayal of yourself? Lyerly's answer is both clear-eyed and compassionate: this isn't about them. It's about how YOU walk away feeling. The mindset shift at the heart of this episode is deceptively simple and genuinely transformative: you cannot control what your ex says or does, but you can control your behavior — and changing your behavior is the one lever you actually have. Strategic empathy is that lever. It's a muscle, Lyerly explains, one that gets stronger every time you use it, one that slowly reduces your reactivity to the triggers that have been hijacking your nervous system for years. Whether you're at the mediation table, in the middle of a custody dispute, navigating a high-conflict co-parenting relationship, or just trying to get through a difficult text exchange without blowing up your day — this episode will give you a new tool, a new framework, and a new question to ask yourself every time things get heated: how do I want to feel when this conversation is over? 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

    18 min
  5. Using Artificial Intelligence to Survive a High Conflict Divorce with Rina Groeneveld

    MAR 4

    Using Artificial Intelligence to Survive a High Conflict Divorce with Rina Groeneveld

    If you've ever stared at a text from your abusive ex — cortisol flooding your body, hands shaking, entire day derailed before it even started — then this episode was made for you. In this powerful conversation on Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Rina Groeneveld, a certified high conflict divorce coach, mother of four, professional translator, and author of the forthcoming book AI Armor. Rina brings a rare and deeply personal expertise to the intersection of technology and trauma: she is not just a coach who helps domestic violence survivors navigate custody battles and high conflict divorces — she is someone who has lived it. And now, she has found a way to use one of the most powerful tools of our time to protect the people who need it most: AI. Rina's book, AI Armor, grew out of something she noticed in her own Facebook support group for women navigating high conflict separations — the exhausting, triggering, mentally consuming experience of having to read, decode, and respond to messages from an abusive ex. What started as a workshop experiment — using AI prompts to "decode" a narcissistic ex's texts, similar to the beloved NARC Decoder concept — quickly evolved into a full system. In this episode, Rina walks us through exactly how AI can act as a buffer between a survivor and their abuser: allowing them to process messages without being ambushed by trauma responses, helping them identify patterns in communication for court proceedings without having to relive years of abuse, and crafting legally strategic, emotionally boundaried responses without burning through hours of precious mental bandwidth. She also addresses the real concerns people have — from AI hallucinations to the possibility of AI chat logs being subpoenaed — with the same measured, nuanced clarity she brings to all of her coaching work. The mindset shift at the heart of this episode is this: you are not alone in the room with your abuser's words anymore. Whether you are in the middle of a high conflict custody battle, still receiving abusive texts years after separation, or preparing to face your ex in court, there are tools — and people — that can help carry the weight. Rina's encouragement to listeners is both practical and deeply humane: reach out, use every support available to you, and know that no matter how long the tunnel feels, there is light at the end of it. For anyone navigating coercive control, narcissistic abuse, or the grinding emotional labor of a high conflict divorce, this episode offers not just hope — but a concrete new strategy. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

    14 min
  6. Unhitched Book Discussion LIVE! with Oona Metz

    FEB 25

    Unhitched Book Discussion LIVE! with Oona Metz

    In this cozy, candid book-club episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia sits down with therapist, writer, and nationally recognized divorce expert Oona Metz to talk through the stories inside her new book, Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women. Rather than focusing on legal strategy or paperwork, they linger on the moments that feel almost too familiar: the late-night Google searches, the invisible labor that’s been quietly crushing you for years, the way you can feel both devastated and deeply relieved at the same time. Drawing on Oona’s three decades of supporting women through divorce, they explore how the book’s vignettes mirror the real lives of listeners who are quietly wondering, “Is it really this bad, or am I overreacting?” As Olivia and Oona move through different chapters, they unpack specific stories—about staying in the same house while separating, about trying to co-parent with someone who still pushes your buttons, about finding yourself again after years of shrinking, and how the women in Unhitched often don’t see themselves as “strong” even as they’re doing impossibly hard things every day. This conversation feels less like an interview and more like being on the couch with two friends who get it. Together, Olivia and Oona connect the book’s stories to the emotional reality of listeners—especially women who have been the default parent, the peacekeeper, the emotional manager—and talk about how validating it can be just to see your experience on the page. They end with a reminder that divorce is not a personal failure, but a life transition you’re allowed to move through with support, softness, and hope for what comes next. Unhitched is positioned as a companion for every stage of that journey: thinking about leaving, in the thick of it, or rebuilding your life on the other side. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

    48 min
  7. Why You Can’t Afford to Skip a Divorce Coach with Chavisa Horemans

    FEB 23

    Why You Can’t Afford to Skip a Divorce Coach with Chavisa Horemans

    When divorce hits, it’s rarely just paperwork—it’s the moment your whole life starts to tilt. In this episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with trauma-informed divorce, co-parenting, and chronic health coach Chavisa Horemans, founder of The Mother Corp – Trauma-Informed Empowerment Coaching. Based in Vancouver and working remotely with women around the world, Chavisa brings lived experience, an interdisciplinary master’s degree, and advanced certifications (MES, CDC, CTRC) to her work supporting women—often mothers—through high conflict divorce, gender-based violence, hidden abuse, financial abuse, and post-separation abuse. Instead of telling you to “just get a lawyer,” this conversation breaks down how divorce coaching becomes the connective tissue between your real life and your legal process. Chavisa explains why divorce is never just legal paperwork—it’s emotional, social, financial, employment-related, and deeply physical. Drawing on her holistic, evidence-based, trauma-informed approach, she shares how she helps clients translate their messy, overwhelming reality into clear, concise information their lawyers can actually use, saving both money and stress. From synthesizing five-page email rants into two precise paragraphs to helping women understand standard practices around selling a home, renegotiating benefits, and navigating safety issues, her wraparound support makes a high conflict divorce feel less like freefall and more like a guided path. Throughout the episode, Olivia and Chavisa keep circling back to one powerful reframe: investing in a divorce coach is not an indulgence—it’s emotional support, nervous-system care, and long-term protection. You’ll hear how clients use sessions as a form of self-care, how a coach can quietly streamline communication, co-parenting choices, and financial guidance, and why it’s never too late to ask for help—even if you’ve already received a brutal court order. Listeners will walk away with a clearer understanding of when to bring in a divorce coach (hint: the sooner, the better), how to maximize your time with your lawyer, and a soothing, grounded reminder that you don’t have to carry the divorce process alone to still claim personal growth and a fresh start.

    16 min
  8. 3 Things I Learned from My Divorce with Colette Jane Fehr

    JAN 26

    3 Things I Learned from My Divorce with Colette Jane Fehr

    Most relationships don’t end in one dramatic explosion; they slowly erode in all the tiny moments we stay quiet. In this episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia sits down with author, psychotherapist, and relationship expert Colette Jane Fehr to talk about the real cost of silence in marriage, divorce, and dating after divorce. Drawing from her new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love, Colette shares how her own divorce pushed her back to graduate school and into couples therapy work, where she’s spent years watching how communication, emotional intelligence, and self-advocacy can either nurture connection or quietly destroy it. Together, Olivia and Colette unpack why avoiding hard conversations is the number one relationship killer, and how emotional disconnection—not just big fights—often leads to divorce. Colette breaks down her “bad communication report card” (distancing, defensiveness, dismissiveness, and fixing), explains why so many emotionally intelligent women stop speaking up when their partner reacts poorly, and offers a powerful reframe: your responsibility is to use your voice, no matter how someone responds. They also explore dating after divorce, the green flag of emotional responsiveness, and how learning to name your emotional needs and ask for reassurance can transform relationships of all kinds. This conversation is both tender and deeply practical. Colette reminds listeners that divorce can be a profound season of personal growth, especially for women taught to stay small and selfless. She shares how to practice self-advocacy in tiny, doable steps, what to look for in a responsive partner, and why the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself. If you’re navigating divorce, rethinking your relationships, or learning to self-nurture after years of self-silencing, this episode will give you hope, language, and a roadmap to create the emotionally connected love you actually deserve. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

    17 min
See All (210)

Trailers

5
out of 5
41 Ratings

About

Welcome to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we inspire, educate, and support you through divorce and beyond so that you can start fresh on the next phase of your journey. Produced by Fresh Starts Registry, the only divorce registry platform for everything you need to begin again, including home items, hype team, and everything in between. Remember, divorce happens...and then, we start fresh. We're here to support you before, during, and after divorce. Hosted by Olivia Dreizen Howell, the co-founder and CEO of Fresh Starts Registry.

Information

  • Channel
    Fresh Starts
  • Creator
    Fresh Starts Registry
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    210
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Fresh Starts Registry
  • Show Website
    Divorce Happens

More From Fresh Starts

You Might Also Like