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You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for the Adult Children of Parents with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders

Torie Wiksell
  • 4.6 (69)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Torie Wiksell, is no stranger to talking about toxic parents and dysfunctional family dynamics. As a therapist Torie focuses on supporting the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. She also grew up with a mother who had an unmanaged personality disorder and understands the uniquely complicated aspects of these relationships. Torie brings a refreshingly relatable perspective to navigating a complicated relationship with a parent who has BPD or narcissistic traits while instilling hope that things can get better and ensuring her listeners they are not alone. Follow Torie on TikTok: tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on Instagram: instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Learn more about navigating complicated parent relationships and find resources that can help at www.confidentboundaries.com Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy, nor is it a substitute for therapy. If you are in a mental health crisis, please contact the Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988. You're Not Crazy is a podcast owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

  1. 2d ago

    Why You Can't Stop Reacting to a Parent with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder

    You've told yourself that this time you won't let it get to you, and somehow you still leave the conversation feeling defeated and distraught, wondering why you can't just let things go. When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn to brace for the mean comments, the cruelty, the digs that come out of nowhere.  And you work hard to get to a place of radical acceptance- acknowledging who your parent is and what you're likely to experience in your relationship with them. So shouldn't those realistic expectations of your parent come with less emotional distress when they do the toxic thing you're expecting them to do? Not exactly. In this episode you'll learn: Why a negative emotional reaction to your parent's behavior is healthy and importantThe two things that tend to happen when you successfully lower your reactivity (and why neither is where you want to be)Your emotional reaction reframed as data that can inform your boundariesThe nuanced, gray-area questions to ask yourself to create a reality that leaves you feeling less defeated and depletedIf you're desperate to feel less emotionally consumed by the interactions with your parent, this episode is for you. Ready to go deeper? The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/vault Follow Torie on Instagram: @cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: @cyclebreakertherapist Want the more episodes of You're Not Crazy? Join The Private Feed for access to bonus and ad-free episodes plus the full archive: confidentboundaries.com/private Free guide: 10 Boundary Mistakes That Keep You Stuck If your boundaries keep blowing up or leaving you drowning in guilt, it's usually not you. Learn what problems actually get in the way of setting successful boundaries with toxic parents by downloading my free guide: confidentboundaries.com/opt-in Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

    12 min
  2. Father's Day, Sadness, and the Capacity You've Built Along the Way

    3d ago • The Private Feed Only

    Father's Day, Sadness, and the Capacity You've Built Along the Way

    Torie gets honest about how family holidays have shifted for her over the years of cycle breaking: the desperate need to be understood that used to take her out for days have softened into something different. If you've been bracing yourself through every family holiday and quietly wondering if it will ever feel better, this episode of The Private Feed is for you.

    18 min
  3. Why You Can't Stop Reacting to a Parent with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder

    3d ago • The Private Feed Only

    Why You Can't Stop Reacting to a Parent with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder

    You've told yourself that this time you won't let it get to you, and somehow you still leave the conversation feeling defeated and distraught, wondering why you can't just let things go. When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn to brace for the mean comments, the cruelty, the digs that come out of nowhere. And you work hard to get to a place of radical acceptance- acknowledging who your parent is and what you're likely to experience in your relationship with them. So shouldn't those realistic expectations of your parent come with less emotional distress when they do the toxic thing you're expecting them to do? Not exactly. In this episode you'll learn: -Why a negative emotional reaction to your parent's behavior is healthy and important -The two things that tend to happen when you successfully lower your reactivity (and why neither is where you want to be) -Your emotional reaction reframed as data that can inform your boundaries -The nuanced, gray-area questions to ask yourself to create a reality that leaves you feeling less defeated and depleted If you're desperate to feel less emotionally consumed by the interactions with your parent, this episode is for you. Ready to go deeper? The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/vault Follow Torie on Instagram: @cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: @cyclebreakertherapist Free guide: 10 Boundary Mistakes That Keep You Stuck If your boundaries keep blowing up or leaving you drowning in guilt, it's usually not you. Learn what problems actually get in the way of setting successful boundaries with toxic parents by downloading my free guide: confidentboundaries.com/opt-in

    12 min

  4. Jun 23

    You Can Handle Anything, and That's the Problem: Capacity vs. Capability When You Were Raised by a Toxic Parent

    Too many cycle breakers know that moment when your phone lights up with the latest family emergency and you drop everything to try to calm the storm. When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn early on that keeping the peace is what keeps you safe. So, when there's a crisis, of course you spring into action. In this episode we dive into: The difference between what you're capable of and what you actually have the capacity forThe cost of being designated the family fixerThe "I should be able to handle this" story, and how it keeps you stuck in burnout and self-blameOne honest question to ask yourself this week that brings real clarity to how you spend your time, energy, and resourcesReady to go deeper? The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/vault Want the more episodes of You're Not Crazy? Join The Private Feed for access to bonus and ad-free episodes plus the full archive: confidentboundaries.com/private Follow Torie on Instagram: @cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: @cyclebreakertherapist Free guide: 10 Boundary Mistakes That Keep You Stuck Learn what actually gets in the way of setting successful boundaries with toxic parents by downloading my free guide: confidentboundaries.com/opt-in Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

    12 min
  5. You Can Handle Anything, and That's the Problem: Capacity vs. Capability When You Were Raised by a Toxic Parent

    Jun 22 • The Private Feed Only

    You Can Handle Anything, and That's the Problem: Capacity vs. Capability When You Were Raised by a Toxic Parent

    Too many cycle breakers know that moment when your phone lights up with the latest family emergency and you drop everything to try to calm the storm. When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn early on that keeping the peace is what keeps you safe. So, when there's a crisis, of course you spring into action. In this episode we dive into: -The difference between what you're capable of and what you actually have the capacity for -The cost of being designated the family fixer -The "I should be able to handle this" story, and how it keeps you stuck in burnout and self-blame -One honest question to ask yourself this week that brings real clarity to how you spend your time, energy, and resources Ready to go deeper? The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/vault Want the more episodes of You're Not Crazy? Join The Private Feed for access to bonus and ad-free episodes plus the full archive: confidentboundaries.com/private Follow Torie on Instagram: @cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: @cyclebreakertherapist Free guide: 10 Boundary Mistakes That Keep You Stuck Learn what actually gets in the way of setting successful boundaries with toxic parents by downloading my free guide: confidentboundaries.com/opt-in

    12 min

  6. Jun 16

    How to Survive Father's Day When You Were Raised by a Toxic Parent

    When grow up with a toxic parent, Father's Day isn't an exciting celebration. It's a loaded weekend that sits heavy on your nervous system. And it's why the week leading up to it can leave you feeling completely drained before you even get to the main event. In this episode you'll learn: Why the week before and after Father's Day can feel just as heavy as the day itselfHow to make an intentional choice about your scrolling instead of letting it quietly wreck your weekA self-compassion practice that's as simple as checking in with how you're actually doingA tip for sorting through your real options when there's no perfect choice about calling, visiting, or giftingThe difference between a decision that protects your well-being and one that's only about keeping other people from being upset with youIf you've spent your whole life deciding it's easier to sacrifice yourself than to risk disappointing your family, this episode is for you. Ready to go deeper? The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/vault Follow Torie on Instagram: @cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: @cyclebreakertherapist Get access to bonus content and the entire archive of episodes when you subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: confidentboundaries.com/private  Free guide: 10 Boundary Mistakes That Keep You Stuck If your boundaries keep blowing up or leaving you drowning in guilt, it's usually not you. Learn what problems actually get in the way of setting successful boundaries with toxic parents by downloading my free guide: confidentboundaries.com/opt-in Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

    15 min
  7. How to Survive Father's Day When You Were Raised by a Toxic Parent

    Jun 15 • The Private Feed Only

    How to Survive Father's Day When You Were Raised by a Toxic Parent

    When grow up with a toxic parent, Father's Day isn't an exciting celebration. It's a loaded weekend that sits heavy on your nervous system. And it's why the week leading up to it can leave you feeling completely drained before you even get to the main event. In this episode you'll learn: -Why the week before and after Father's Day can feel just as heavy as the day itself -How to make an intentional choice about your scrolling instead of letting it quietly wreck your week -A self-compassion practice that's as simple as checking in with how you're actually doing -A tip for sorting through your real options when there's no perfect choice about calling, visiting, or gifting -The difference between a decision that protects your well-being and one that's only about keeping other people from being upset with you If you've spent your whole life deciding it's easier to sacrifice yourself than to risk disappointing your family, this episode is for you. Ready to go deeper? The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/vault Follow Torie on Instagram: @cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: @cyclebreakertherapist Free guide: 10 Boundary Mistakes That Keep You Stuck If your boundaries keep blowing up or leaving you drowning in guilt, it's usually not you. Learn what problems actually get in the way of setting successful boundaries with toxic parents by downloading my free guide: confidentboundaries.com/opt-in

    15 min
  8. Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts: The Small Stuff That Wasn't Small at All

    Jun 13 • The Private Feed Only

    Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts: The Small Stuff That Wasn't Small at All

    When you grow up with a toxic parent who has borderline or narcissistic traits, it's not just the loud moments that do the deepest damage. It's also the thousand smaller cuts, the offhand comments that were minimized or dismissed by others, that slowly chip away at how you see yourself. In this episode of You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed, Torie shares one of those tiny cuts that deeply impacted her own sense of self growing up.

    10 min
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4.6
out of 5
69 Ratings

About

Torie Wiksell, is no stranger to talking about toxic parents and dysfunctional family dynamics. As a therapist Torie focuses on supporting the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. She also grew up with a mother who had an unmanaged personality disorder and understands the uniquely complicated aspects of these relationships. Torie brings a refreshingly relatable perspective to navigating a complicated relationship with a parent who has BPD or narcissistic traits while instilling hope that things can get better and ensuring her listeners they are not alone. Follow Torie on TikTok: tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on Instagram: instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Learn more about navigating complicated parent relationships and find resources that can help at www.confidentboundaries.com Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy, nor is it a substitute for therapy. If you are in a mental health crisis, please contact the Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988. You're Not Crazy is a podcast owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

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