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You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for the Adult Children of Parents with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders

Torie Wiksell
  • 4.6 (67)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Torie Wiksell, is no stranger to talking about toxic parents and dysfunctional family dynamics. As a therapist Torie focuses on supporting the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. She also grew up with a mother who had an unmanaged personality disorder and understands the uniquely complicated aspects of these relationships. Torie brings a refreshingly relatable perspective to navigating a complicated relationship with a parent who has BPD or narcissistic traits while instilling hope that things can get better and ensuring her listeners they are not alone. Follow Torie on TikTok: tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on Instagram: instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Learn more about navigating complicated parent relationships and find resources that can help at www.confidentboundaries.com Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy, nor is it a substitute for therapy. If you are in a mental health crisis, please contact the Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988. You're Not Crazy is a podcast owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

  1. 6d ago

    Setting the Boundary Is Only Part One: What Most Cycle Breakers Miss

    You finally set the boundary and for about five seconds you felt proud of yourself. Then your parent pushed back and wished you could take it all back. When you have a parent with narcissistic or unmanaged borderline personality disorder, boundaries don't land the way you were taught they would.  These types of parents are emotionally dysregulated, rely on you to manage their feelings, and read your boundary as a threat.  It's why so many cycle breakers quietly decide boundaries just don't work for them, when the truth is nobody ever taught them the second half of the process. In this episode you'll learn: What a boundary actually isWhy the same boundary lands fine with an emotionally mature person and is a complete disaster with a parent who has BPD or narcissistic traitsWhy setting the boundary is only half the workThe piece that finally makes your boundaries stickReady to go deeper? The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.  Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com/vault Get access to bonus content and the entire archive of episodes when you subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

    14 min
  2. Setting the Boundary Is Only Part One: What Most Cycle Breakers Miss

    Jun 2 • The Private Feed Only

    Setting the Boundary Is Only Part One: What Most Cycle Breakers Miss

    You finally set the boundary and for about five seconds you felt proud of yourself. Then your parent pushed back and wished you could take it all back. When you have a parent with narcissistic or unmanaged borderline personality disorder, boundaries don't land the way you were taught they would. These types of parents are emotionally dysregulated, rely on you to manage their feelings, and read your boundary as a threat. It's why so many cycle breakers quietly decide boundaries just don't work for them, when the truth is nobody ever taught them the second half of the process. In this episode you'll learn: -What a boundary actually is -Why the same boundary lands fine with an emotionally mature person and is a complete disaster with a parent who has BPD or narcissistic traits -Why setting the boundary is only half the work -The piece that finally makes your boundaries stick Ready to go deeper? The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com/vault Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist

    13 min
  3. Going Through the Motions vs. Actually Healing: What "Doing the Work" Looks Like

    May 29 • The Private Feed Only

    Going Through the Motions vs. Actually Healing: What "Doing the Work" Looks Like

    When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, "doing the work" gets complicated fast. Some of these parents never go to therapy at all, some go but treat it like a performance, and some mock the healing you're doing. In this episode, Torie breaks down what doing the work actually means, why going to therapy or reading self-help books doesn't automatically count, and how to read your parent's patterns as information about what's realistic to expect from the relationship.

    11 min

  4. May 26

    Gaslighting and Self-Doubt: Why You Can't Trust Yourself When You Were Raised by a Parent with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder

    That moment where your brain short circuits because your parent just looked you dead in the eye and insisted the situation you’re describing never happened at all.  When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, gaslighting isn't just a buzzword you read about on Reddit. It's the ever present way your parent avoids taking responsibility for their actions.  And it's why, as an adult, you can sit across from someone you love, know exactly what they did, and still walk away wondering if you're the one who got it wrong. In this episode you'll learn: What gaslighting actually isThe difference between an emotionally immature parent, a narcissistic parent, and a parent with BPD when it comes to gaslightingWhy your brain literally cannot make sense of someone calmly insisting a shared event didn't happen, and what it does to copeHow chronic gaslighting turns into long-term self-doubt that gets in your way of breaking the cycleIf you've spent your whole life worried you might be the dramatic one, the sensitive one, the one who remembers things wrong, this episode is for you. The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com/vault. Get access to bonus content and the entire archive of episodes when you subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private  Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist  Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

    13 min

  5. May 26 • The Private Feed Only

    Gaslighting and Self-Doubt: Why You Can't Trust Yourself When You Were Raised by a Parent with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder

    That moment where your brain short circuits because your parent just looked you dead in the eye and insisted the situation you’re describing never happened at all. When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, gaslighting isn't just a buzzword you read about on Reddit. It's the ever present way your parent avoids taking responsibility for their actions. And it's why, as an adult, you can sit across from someone you love, know exactly what they did, and still walk away wondering if you're the one who got it wrong. In this episode you'll learn: -What gaslighting actually is -The difference between an emotionally immature parent, a narcissistic parent, and a parent with BPD when it comes to gaslighting -Why your brain literally cannot make sense of someone calmly insisting a shared event didn't happen, and what it does to cope -How chronic gaslighting turns into long-term self-doubt that gets in your way of breaking the cycle If you've spent your whole life worried you might be the dramatic one, the sensitive one, the one who remembers things wrong, this episode is for you. The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist

    13 min

  6. May 19

    Toxic In-Laws: What to Do When Your Partner Won't Stand Up to Their Family

    If you’re dealing with toxic in-laws and feeling unsupported by your partner, this episode is for you. Today we’re talking about one of the most requested topics I’ve avoided covering for a long time: navigating dysfunctional in-law relationships when you’ve married into a toxic family system. We’ll talk about why dealing with toxic in-laws is different from dealing with your own family dynamics, how family enmeshment can make it incredibly hard for your partner to recognize unhealthy behavior, and why “not wanting to take sides” is still taking a side when abuse or mistreatment is happening. In this episode, we cover: How to talk to your partner about their family's toxic dynamicsWhy focusing on patterns of behavior is keyThe emotional impact of being mistreated by your partner’s familyWhat happens when your partner validates your pain but refuses to take actionWhen couples therapy and individual therapy can helpIf you’ve ever felt stuck between protecting your peace and protecting your relationship, I hope this episode helps you feel less alone and gives you language for what you’ve been experiencing. The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits covering dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Get it at confidentboundaries.com/vault  Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for bonus episodes: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

    18 min
  7. Shame Keeps Cycle Breakers Stuck. Here's How Self-Compassion Helps.

    May 18 • The Private Feed Only

    Shame Keeps Cycle Breakers Stuck. Here's How Self-Compassion Helps.

    You're doing the work, learning skills, processing your trauma, and yet there's still that quiet voice telling you you're a horrible person who is somehow the real problem. When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with borderline personality disorder, shame doesn't just visit, it moves in, and it loves to show up in the moments when you act imperfectly instead of like the emotionally healthy adult you're working so hard to become. This episode unpacks why shame keeps cycle breakers stuck, miserable, and small, why it convinces you to hide and try harder when trying harder isn't the answer, and how practicing self-compassion is the non-negotiable piece of actually breaking the cycle.

    11 min

  8. May 18 • The Private Feed Only

    Toxic In-Laws: What to Do When Your Partner Won't Stand Up to Their Family

    If you’re dealing with toxic in-laws and feeling unsupported by your partner, this episode is for you. Today we’re talking about one of the most requested topics I’ve avoided covering for a long time: navigating dysfunctional in-law relationships when you’ve married into a toxic family system. We’ll talk about why dealing with toxic in-laws is different from dealing with your own family dynamics, how family enmeshment can make it incredibly hard for your partner to recognize unhealthy behavior, and why “not wanting to take sides” is still taking a side when abuse or mistreatment is happening. In this episode, we cover: -How to talk to your partner about their family's toxic dynamics -Why focusing on patterns of behavior is key -The emotional impact of being mistreated by your partner’s family -What happens when your partner validates your pain but refuses to take action -When couples therapy and individual therapy can help If you’ve ever felt stuck between protecting your peace and protecting your relationship, I hope this episode helps you feel less alone and gives you language for what you’ve been experiencing. The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits covering dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Get it at confidentboundaries.com (use code MAY2026 thru 5/21 for 40% off) Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist

    18 min
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4.6
out of 5
67 Ratings

About

Torie Wiksell, is no stranger to talking about toxic parents and dysfunctional family dynamics. As a therapist Torie focuses on supporting the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. She also grew up with a mother who had an unmanaged personality disorder and understands the uniquely complicated aspects of these relationships. Torie brings a refreshingly relatable perspective to navigating a complicated relationship with a parent who has BPD or narcissistic traits while instilling hope that things can get better and ensuring her listeners they are not alone. Follow Torie on TikTok: tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on Instagram: instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Learn more about navigating complicated parent relationships and find resources that can help at www.confidentboundaries.com Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy, nor is it a substitute for therapy. If you are in a mental health crisis, please contact the Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988. You're Not Crazy is a podcast owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

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