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You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic Parents

Torie Wiksell
  • 4.6 (60)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Therapist and boundaries coach, Torie Wiksell, is no stranger to talking about toxic parents and dysfunctional family dynamics. In addition to her focus on supporting the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders as a therapist, Torie grew up with a mother who had an unmanaged personality disorder and understands the uniquely complicated aspects of these relationships. Torie brings a refreshingly relatable perspective to navigating a relationship with a toxic parent while instilling hope that things can get better and ensuring her listeners they are not alone. Follow Torie on TikTok: tiktok.com/@theboundariescoach Follow Torie on Instagram: instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries Learn more about navigating complicated parent relationships and the Confident Boundaries Membership: www.confidentboundaries.com Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy, nor is it a substitute for therapy. If you are in a mental health crisis, please contact the Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988. You're Not Crazy is a podcast owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

  1. 17H AGO

    When Parents Say They’re “Walking on Eggshells” Around You: The Truth About Power, Boundaries, and Gaslighting

    If you grew up with a parent who had narcissistic or borderline traits, you may have heard this when you started setting boundaries, going to therapy, or naming the dysfunction in your family. In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we unpack: Why “walking on eggshells” is not the same thing in a parent-child relationship The lifelong power imbalance that doesn’t magically disappear when you turn 18 Why toxic parents often say this when you stop being compliant How this narrative twists reality and creates a false “both sides” story The subtle gaslighting behind “I have to walk on eggshells around you, too” When a parent says this, it often isn’t about your behavior. It’s about their discomfort with accountability. It’s about losing control of a dynamic where you were expected to stay small, agreeable, and emotionally accommodating. If you’ve started therapy, begun setting boundaries with a toxic parent, or noticed pushback when you stop playing your assigned role in the family, this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening. Want Torie's feedback on your complicated family situation? Check out the Confident Boundaries Membership. Inside, we focus on education, skill-building, and emotionally healthy boundary work. Learn more here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/membership  Support the growth of the show and get access to bonus content by joining You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed.  Plus, you'll get ad-free versions of all new episodes when you join: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    17 min

  2. 1D AGO • THE PRIVATE FEED ONLY

    When Parents Say They’re “Walking on Eggshells” Around You: The Truth About Power, Boundaries, and Gaslighting

    What does it really mean when a parent says they have to “walk on eggshells” around their adult child? If you grew up with a parent who had narcissistic or borderline traits, you may have heard this when you started setting boundaries, going to therapy, or naming the dysfunction in your family. In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we unpack: Why “walking on eggshells” is not the same thing in a parent-child relationship The lifelong power imbalance that doesn’t magically disappear when you turn 18 Why toxic parents often say this when you stop being compliant How this narrative twists reality and creates a false “both sides” story The subtle gaslighting behind “I have to walk on eggshells around you, too” When a parent says this, it often isn’t about your behavior. It’s about their discomfort with accountability. It’s about losing control of a dynamic where you were expected to stay small, agreeable, and emotionally accommodating. If you’ve started therapy, begun setting boundaries with a toxic parent, or noticed pushback when you stop playing your assigned role in the family, this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening. Want Torie's feedback on your complicated family situation? Check out the Confident Boundaries Membership. Inside, we focus on education, skill-building, and emotionally healthy boundary work. Learn more here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/membership Support the growth of the show and get access to bonus content by joining You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed. Plus, you'll get ad-free versions of all new episodes when you join: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

    17 min
  3. Gaslighting and the Erosion of Self Trust

    2D AGO • THE PRIVATE FEED ONLY

    Gaslighting and the Erosion of Self Trust

    Gaslighting is one of the most destabilizing dynamics in dysfunctional family systems. It is subtle, confusing, and deeply disorienting, especially when it was your normal growing up. In this private feed episode, I walk through what gaslighting actually looks like in parent child relationships, why intent is irrelevant, and how chronic denial and deflection erode your self trust over time. We explore the “what if they don’t remember?” trap, the role of accountability, and the questions you can ask yourself to get clearer about what is really happening. If you have ever wondered whether you are too sensitive, too dramatic, or overreacting when conflict comes up with a parent, this episode will help you ground back into your own reality. Thank you for being part of the Private Feed! Want more help understanding what gaslighting by a parent looks like? Download my free guide: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/5-signs-you-were-gaslit-by-your-parent

    15 min

  4. FEB 10

    When Dysfunction Is “Normal”: Subtle Emotional Abuse in Toxic Families and Why It’s So Damaging

    In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell breaks down common behaviors that toxic families often label as “normal,” but that are actually deeply damaging and abusive. We talk about why these dynamics are so confusing, why they impact you as deeply as they do, and why your reactions are not a personal flaw. You’ll learn: Why emotional and psychological abuse in families is often minimized or dismissed How power and control shape parent-child dynamics, even in adulthood Why stonewalling, silent treatment, shaming, and gaslighting are not “just family stuff” How abuse creates confusion, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion over time How naming abuse accurately can be a powerful step toward clarity and healing If you’ve ever questioned whether it was “really that bad,” struggled to trust your own emotional reactions, or felt drawn to content about toxic parents while doubting your experience, this episode offers grounding, validation, and context. Love the podcast? Support the show (and get access to bonus content) Get ad-free episodes, bonus content, and access to archived episodes by joining You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed. https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Join Torie in the Confident Boundaries Membership If you’re looking for education, tools, and community with other cycle breakers navigating toxic parent relationships, the Confident Boundaries Membership is the place for you. https://www.confidentboundaries.com/membership Schedule a Therapy Phone Consultation If you’re interested in talking about working with Torie in therapy, use the following link to schedule a free phone consultation. Must be located in CA, OR, or WA. https://toriewikselltherapy.com/schedule If this episode was helpful, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    19 min

  5. FEB 9 • THE PRIVATE FEED ONLY

    When Dysfunction Is “Normal”: Subtle Emotional Abuse in Toxic Families and Why It’s So Damaging

    In dysfunctional families, many forms of emotional and psychological abuse are quietly normalized. Silent treatment. Guilt-tripping. Gaslighting. Being shamed for your feelings. Being told you’re too sensitive when you try to speak up. In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell breaks down common behaviors that toxic families often label as “normal,” but that are actually deeply damaging and abusive. We talk about why these dynamics are so confusing, why they impact you as deeply as they do, and why your reactions are not a personal flaw. You’ll learn: -Why emotional and psychological abuse in families is often minimized or dismissed -How power and control shape parent-child dynamics, even in adulthood -Why stonewalling, silent treatment, shaming, and gaslighting are not “just family stuff” -How abuse creates confusion, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion over time -How naming abuse accurately can be a powerful step toward clarity and healing If you’ve ever questioned whether it was “really that bad,” struggled to trust your own emotional reactions, or felt drawn to content about toxic parents while doubting your experience, this episode offers grounding, validation, and context. Join Torie in the Confident Boundaries Membership: If you’re looking for education, tools, and community with other cycle breakers navigating toxic parent relationships, the Confident Boundaries Membership is the place for you. https://www.confidentboundaries.com/membership Schedule a Therapy Phone Consultation: If you’re interested in talking about working with Torie in therapy, use the following link to schedule a free phone consultation. Must be located in CA, OR, or WA. https://toriewikselltherapy.com/schedule If this episode was helpful, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show.

    19 min

  6. FEB 3

    Why Setting Boundaries With Toxic Parents Is So Hard (And What Most People Get Wrong)

    In this episode of You're Not Crazy, I walk through the most common reasons boundaries fail with narcissistic, emotionally immature, and toxic parents. Not because you did it wrong, but because most people are taught a version of boundaries that doesn’t account for manipulation, emotional dysregulation, guilt, or the survival responses cycle breakers carry into adulthood. We talk about: -Why using the word “boundary” often backfires with toxic parents -What a boundary actually is (and why it’s about your behavior, not controlling theirs) -How toxic parents escalate when they feel dysregulated or lose access to you -Why guilt, panic, and urgency show up after you set limits -How not enforcing a boundary teaches your parent to push harder -Why boundaries without an enforcement plan almost always collapse This episode is especially for adults who intellectually understand boundaries but still find themselves caving when their parent panics, guilt-trips, or emotionally escalates. If you’ve ever thought, “I know what I should do, but I can’t seem to follow through,” this conversation will give you clarity and language for what’s really happening. This is also why boundary work with toxic parents requires more than scripts or one-off advice. It requires understanding the family system, the manipulation tactics, and your own nervous system responses so you can follow through without self-abandoning. If you’re ready for a clear, structured approach to setting boundaries you can actually enforce, my self-guided course Confident Boundaries with Toxic Parents walks you through the full framework step by step. Sign up here: confidentboundaries.com/course And if you want access to more episodes of the podcast, sign up for You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed. You'll be supporting the growth of the show while getting access to archived, bonus, and ad-free episodes of You're Not Crazy: confidentboundaries.com/private  If this episode helped put words to something you’ve been struggling with, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show and feel less alone. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    16 min
  7. Why Setting Boundaries With Toxic Parents Is So Hard (And What Most People Get Wrong)

    FEB 3 • THE PRIVATE FEED ONLY

    Why Setting Boundaries With Toxic Parents Is So Hard (And What Most People Get Wrong)

    If you’ve tried to set boundaries with a toxic parent and it didn’t work, this episode will help you understand why and what’s actually getting in the way. In this episode of You're Not Crazy, I walk through the most common reasons boundaries fail with narcissistic, emotionally immature, and toxic parents. Not because you did it wrong, but because most people are taught a version of boundaries that doesn’t account for manipulation, emotional dysregulation, guilt, or the survival responses cycle breakers carry into adulthood. We talk about: Why using the word “boundary” often backfires with toxic parents What a boundary actually is (and why it’s about your behavior, not controlling theirs) How toxic parents escalate when they feel dysregulated or lose access to you Why guilt, panic, and urgency show up after you set limits How not enforcing a boundary teaches your parent to push harder Why boundaries without an enforcement plan almost always collapse This episode is especially for adults who intellectually understand boundaries but still find themselves caving when their parent panics, guilt-trips, or emotionally escalates. If you’ve ever thought, “I know what I should do, but I can’t seem to follow through,” this conversation will give you clarity and language for what’s really happening. This is also why boundary work with toxic parents requires more than scripts or one-off advice. It requires understanding the family system, the manipulation tactics, and your own nervous system responses so you can follow through without self-abandoning. If you’re ready for a clear, structured approach to setting boundaries you can actually enforce, my self-guided course Confident Boundaries with Toxic Parents walks you through the full framework step by step. Sign up here: confidentboundaries.com/course If this episode helped put words to something you’ve been struggling with, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show and feel less alone.

    16 min
  8. Embracing the Villain Role You So Desperately Want Out Of

    JAN 31 • THE PRIVATE FEED ONLY

    Embracing the Villain Role You So Desperately Want Out Of

    In this private feed episode, we talk about one of the most painful realities of being a cycle breaker: being cast as the villain in your parent’s story, no matter how much work you’ve done or how carefully you communicate. I explain why this role is inevitable in rigid, toxic family systems, why it has nothing to do with your character or effort, and how releasing the need to change the narrative can fundamentally shift how you make decisions about your family. This is about letting go of the panic, the over-explaining, and the emotional labor that never actually changes the outcome.

    14 min
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Trailer

4.6
out of 5
60 Ratings

About

Therapist and boundaries coach, Torie Wiksell, is no stranger to talking about toxic parents and dysfunctional family dynamics. In addition to her focus on supporting the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders as a therapist, Torie grew up with a mother who had an unmanaged personality disorder and understands the uniquely complicated aspects of these relationships. Torie brings a refreshingly relatable perspective to navigating a relationship with a toxic parent while instilling hope that things can get better and ensuring her listeners they are not alone. Follow Torie on TikTok: tiktok.com/@theboundariescoach Follow Torie on Instagram: instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries Learn more about navigating complicated parent relationships and the Confident Boundaries Membership: www.confidentboundaries.com Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy, nor is it a substitute for therapy. If you are in a mental health crisis, please contact the Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988. You're Not Crazy is a podcast owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

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