Story Matters Podcast

Ryan and Emily Baker
  • 5.0 (23)
  • Christianity
  • Updated Weekly

In the Story Matters Podcast, Hosts Ryan and Emily Baker discuss life at the intersection of Theology and Psychology helping listeners to better grasp how their life stories have shaped them.

  1. 3d ago

    "It is what it is" or Do We Have a Choice?

    That flat feeling behind “it is what it is” usually isn’t wisdom or maturity. It’s often a clue that we’ve slowly lost agency and think there is no choice in the matter. Ryan and Emily share a three-step practice that helps us notice choice points earlier, hold paradox with clarity, and make decisions with more honesty before God. We offer a simple, practical framework you can use right away: bind alert (notice the internal bell), choice awareness (admit you have options), and paradox acceptance (hold complexity long enough to choose with wisdom). We also connect this to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and the “choice point,” then move into Romans 7 and 8 to name the tension between flesh and Spirit without pretending it isn’t there. The gospel doesn’t promise a struggle-free life; it promises grace, clarity, and freedom to choose in love, even when the choice is costly. If you’ve been stuck in patterns you can’t explain, start by following the symptoms back to the bind, then practice naming the options out loud.  Subscribe, share this with a friend and leave a review so more people can find the path from autopilot to wisdom! Send us Fan Mail

  2. Sep 1

    53. You are in a Bind!

    Burnout you can’t explain, people pleasing you can’t stop, co-existing with anxiety, resentment that keeps leaking into your closest relationships, or habits that numb you just enough to get through the week. We start Season Five by naming a common root under all of it: the binds that exist in your life that you have not fully named. We talk about how our “non-negotiables” in decision-making moments are actually unexamined survival strategies. Story work becomes very practical as we trace our reasoning to our hatred of uncertainty and the patterns we adopted in order to feel sure. Then we introduce the shift that changes everything: moving from bind to paradox. A bind says you have no good options. A paradox says both sides may hold truth, and wisdom is required. We also anchor this in Scripture, including the famously uncomfortable tension in Proverbs 26 about whether to answer a fool, and we connect it to real moments like conflict, online arguments, and choosing when to speak or stay quiet. Along the way, we frame this as an invitation into agency and humanness - yet not independence as we need the Holy Spirit’s guidance to live wisely inside complexity.  If you care about Christian healing, emotional health, and the practical overlap of theology and psychology, this conversation sets the foundation for the whole season. Subscribe for the rest of Season Five, share with a friend, and leave a review so more listeners can find the show. Send us Fan Mail

  3. May 12

    52.Can We Just Not Tie a Bow On It?

    Season Four wrap up! When stories are unresolved, our bodies feel the tension so we often divert by looking for a way to tie everything up with a bow. “It’s fine.” “It’ll all work out.” Even faith language can become a bow we use to exit the pain before we’ve actually felt it. We talk about silver linings that bypass grief, the pressure to explain suffering, and J. I. Packer’s train yard illustration for why we can’t stand in God’s control room and demand a full map of every “why.”  Rigid explanations, loyalty to families or organizations, and “closed book” testimonies can keep real wounds off limits, leaving shame or resentment to simmer. Writing a single, contained story with sensory details slows you down enough to reveal truth you had not seen. We end with a challenge and a limited offer for a free story engagement - fresh eyes on a story you may have previously tied up with a bow. Does this offer appeal to you? Or, share this with a friend who ties things up too fast, and leave a review so more people can find story work that makes room for both honesty and hope. Send us Fan Mail

  4. May 5

    51. They Will Know We Are Christians By How We Repair

    “They will know we are Christians by our love” is true, but what if the clearest proof of love is our ability to repair after rupture? Ryan and Emily Baker dig into why repair is strangely missing as a category in many Christian families, churches, and faith-based organizations and why that absence makes communities fragile instead of safe. We talk about “weak systems” and how good intentions don’t stop harm. Like neighborhood watch signs or children’s ministry safety policies, healthy communities don’t rely on policies, they walk on clear paths of accountability and conflict resolution. We connect Jesus’ warning about the yeast of the Pharisees to a modern picture of invisible germs: the most destructive dynamics in church culture are often subtle, minimized, or explained away until they spread. The turning point is the difference between shame-based repair and grace-based repair. Shame-based repair chases relief, reputation, and belonging, so it settles for “Are we good?” Grace-based repair tells the truth about what happened, names sin specifically, and makes room for confession, repentance, and real restoration.  If you care about healthy Christian relationships, church leadership integrity, and communities that actually feel safe, hit play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who leads or serves, and leave a review, what’s one place you want to practice repair this week? Send us Fan Mail

  5. Apr 28

    50. Have You Experienced Betrayal?

    Betrayal is brutal: it takes a relationship, a community, or an institution that was supposed to be safe and turns it into a source of harm.  We unpack betrayal trauma through the lens of shalom, the way things are supposed to be, and we talk about the “ripple effect” that spreads into your limbic system, your future relationships, and your view of God. We also name the amplification that happens when there is no repair: denial, cover-up, gaslighting, or the isolating experience of not being believed. Along the way we explore why “getting even” can become a false path to healing, and why pretending it never happened can be just as damaging to the soul. We bring in Romans 12 to hold justice and mercy together, and we share insights from Dan Allender’s “The Healing Path” on how betrayal can expose the ways we look to people for ultimate safety and certainty. Finally, we get practical about coming back into your window of tolerance, paying attention to what your body is carrying, and learning to grieve what really happened so the wound no longer has power over you. If this conversation helps, subscribe, share it with someone walking through betrayal, and leave a review so more listeners can find the show. Send us Fan Mail

  6. Apr 21

    49. Can We Call This What It Really Is?

    Gossip sneaks in dressed up as concern, processing, connecting, or the classic church-friendly cover of a prayer request.  We talk through a gut-check illustration that still gets us: what if a device instantly alerted someone the moment you started talking about them? We expose the hidden contract gossip creates between the speaker and the listener, where we quietly step into the seat of judge while the third person loses their voice.  We discuss Friedman’s Failure Of Nerve and the lure to become the “confidant” - and name the dopamine hit of being the one with interesting information. We also make room for a crucial nuance: protected processing in counseling or wise outside support is not the same thing as spreading someone’s story inside a shared community. If you want healthier relationships, to live out the golden rule, and have more truth in Christian community, listen in, then share this with a friend. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: what helps you choose truth and repair over the quick comfort of gossip? Send us Fan Mail

  7. Apr 13

    48. Why Are You Here?

    We talk about the motives that bring people to this podcast, narrative-focused trauma care, counseling, and discipleship. We love the desires that drive us, and we also name the risk. When we use Jesus as a tool to get a specific outcome, we shrink the gospel. Drawing on C.S. Lewis, we explore that in seeking God first, we trust that the fruit we’re craving often gets thrown in as a byproduct. From there we connect story work to the deeper work of sanctification. We revisit Jesus’ image of the plank and the speck and why untended wounds can turn into judgment, contempt, and relational harm. We also wrestle with the cost of discipleship, the ways truth can feel disruptive, and a simple litmus test for our “why”: if the problem vanished tomorrow, would we still want Jesus and the healing he offers? Thank you for being apart of our Story Matters community, we're glad you're here! Subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find a safe place to explore truth. Send us Fan Mail

  8. Apr 7

    47. Here Be Dragons - An Interview with Author Melanie Shankle Pt. 2

    Emily continues her conversation with author and podcaster Melanie Shankle to talk about her memoir Here Be Dragons and the surprising metaphor that helped her finally see boundaries clearly: her dog’s leg amputation. The loss was painful, but it also removed the source of constant suffering and made room for real freedom. That same question hangs over so many of our lives: what are we still tolerating that keeps us limping? From there we go into deeper themes of Christian healing. We also name one of the most hidden wounds in the mother-daughter relationship: envy. Melanie shares what it’s like to realize a parent resents your contentment, your marriage, and why naming envy isn’t arrogance. We connect our personal story to the biblical account of Numbers 13, where Joshua and Caleb believe God’s promises and refuse to join the fear story even when the crowd turns on them. If you’re trying to break generational trauma, you’ll recognize the pressure to stay quiet, keep the peace, and return to “the way it’s always been.” We talk about parenting without turning kids into emotional caregivers and doing story work that brings truth into the light. If you’re navigating boundaries, no contact, family dysfunction, or the long road to spiritual and emotional health, this conversation offers language and courage.  Books that have inspired Melanie that she mentioned at the end of the episode: She loves all the books written by these authors! John Mark Comer: Live No Lies Ann Lamont: Traveling Mercies  Tina Fey: Bossypants Mindy Kaling: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? Kelly Corrigan: The Middle Place Please take a minute to rate Story Matters Podcast so others can find us! Send us Fan Mail

See All (54)

5
out of 5
23 Ratings

About

In the Story Matters Podcast, Hosts Ryan and Emily Baker discuss life at the intersection of Theology and Psychology helping listeners to better grasp how their life stories have shaped them.

Information

  • Creator
    Ryan and Emily Baker
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    54
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Story Matters Podcast
  • Show Website
    Story Matters Podcast

You Might Also Like