Softly Unfiltered

Ashlyn & Blake
  • 4.8 (34)
  • Society & Culture
  • Updated Weekly

Hosted by Ashlyn and Blake, two multifaceted Black women based in Houston, Softly Unfiltered is where soft meets honest. Each week, we get real about personal growth, healing, navigating corporate America, and the messy, funny, and complex realities of modern dating. From breaking generational cycles to finding our voice in spaces that weren't built for us, our conversations blend honesty, humor, and hard truths—all rooted in our lived experiences. Whether we're swapping stories, tackling trending topics, or unpacking the unspoken rules of friendship, relationships, beauty, ambition, and womanhood, we're here to remind you that you can be soft and strong, ambitious and at peace, healed and still healing. If you've ever felt like you're balancing a hundred different versions of yourself, welcome. This is a space for the multifaceted girlies. Pull up a seat. The group chat is live. 💕 New episodes every Wednesday.

  1. 6d ago ·  Video

    Who Really Leads? | Unlearning Patriarchy, Submission & What Leadership Actually Means

    Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women. Who gets called a leader, who is actually doing the leading, and how many of our beliefs about men, women, submission, and power did we inherit without ever questioning them? This week Blake and Ashlyn use the dynamics of the lion and lioness as a jumping off point to unpack the narratives we are taught about leadership. They get into why providing alone does not make someone a leader, how women can be taught to shrink themselves in the name of submission, why titles and appearances can be mistaken for competence, and what healthy leadership actually looks like. We got into: • Why men being natural leaders is a social agreement, not an unquestionable fact • The male loneliness conversation and why women are increasingly dating for character • Why a title, money, or status does not automatically make someone a good leader • The difference between leadership, dominance, respect, and control • Why some women protect a man’s image by biting their tongue and making themselves smaller • Today’s Unfiltered Moment featuring testimonies from men who admitted marrying women they were not in love with • How beauty, submission, convenience, and ego can become part of the decision to marry Today’s Soft Landing: Leadership is not a title you inherit. It is a responsibility you earn. The people worth following do not need to make you feel smaller to prove that they are powerful. Real leadership feels like wisdom, care, consistency, and safety. What is one belief about leadership, love, or womanhood that you have had to unlearn? 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    Who Really Leads? | Unlearning Patriarchy, Submission & What Leadership Actually Means

  2. Sep 9 ·  Video

    Never Lose Yourself | Why Choosing Yourself Is Self-Preservation

    Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women. In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn are talking about what it really means to make yourself your number-one priority — especially as Black women who have been taught to carry, care, show up, and put everybody else first. They get into the guilt that can come with saying no, the difference between being considerate and abandoning yourself, and why choosing yourself is not selfish. It is self-preservation. We got into: • Why women — and Black women especially — can feel conditioned to put themselves second • How to tell when helping someone has crossed the line into self-abandonment, resentment, or exhaustion • Why being needed can feel like being loved and how fear of abandonment can make usefulness feel emotionally safe • Why some relationships reveal themselves as transactional when you stop overgiving or set a boundary • What it looks like to let grown adults handle their own feelings instead of carrying guilt over their reactions • Why the guilt of saying no can be temporary while the cost of saying yes can last much longer • Ashlyn's Unfiltered Moment on being the first woman in her bloodline who gets to choose what her life looks like Soft Landing: You are allowed to care for people without disappearing inside their needs. You are allowed to be loving and still have limits. Making yourself a priority is not betrayal of others. It is a return to yourself. If this episode resonated, tell us in the comments: where in your life do you need to choose yourself without apologizing? 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    Never Lose Yourself | Why Choosing Yourself Is Self-Preservation

  3. Sep 2 ·  Video

    Stop and Smell the Roses | High Achievers, Rest Guilt & Being Present

    Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women. In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn are talking about how easy it is to spend your whole life chasing the next milestone and completely miss the life happening in between. For high achievers especially, slowing down can feel uncomfortable. Rest can feel like falling behind. A random Tuesday can feel insignificant compared to the next promotion, trip, goal, or big win. But most of life is made up of those ordinary days. We get into: • Why social media conditions us to focus on big milestones • The difference between happiness and being genuinely content • How constantly chasing the next win can affect your nervous system • Why productivity can start to feel addictive • Why high achievers often feel guilty when they rest • How scrolling can quietly turn inspiration into comparison • Why trying to capture every moment can make you miss the actual experience • Blake’s Unfiltered Moment on putting everyday problems back into perspective • Ashlyn’s Unfiltered Moment on realizing how much she has already accomplished Today’s Soft Landing: The good life is not waiting for you at the finish line, it is in the middle of everything you are already doing. The roses do not bloom later, they are blooming right now. Stop and smell them. Slowing down is not falling behind, it is how you make sure the life you are building is one that you are living and not just surviving. Let us know in the comments what is one small ordinary moment from this past week that you actually stopped to enjoy. 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    Stop and Smell the Roses | High Achievers, Rest Guilt & Being Present

  4. Aug 26 ·  Video

    Does Independence Protect Black Women, or Is It Keeping Us Lonely?

    Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women. In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn unpack a question many Black women know intimately: did independence protect us, or has it started keeping us from receiving the support and connection we actually want? For many of us, independence was learned early. Being able to handle things ourselves became capability, safety, stability, and sometimes protection from disappointment. But when “I can do it myself” becomes “I have to do it myself because I cannot trust anyone else,” independence can start looking a lot more like hyper-independence. We get into: • The difference between healthy independence and hyper-independence • Why one disappointing experience can make you stop asking for help altogether • The fear that receiving help will make you look incapable • Why receiving can feel harder than giving when control feels like safety • Asking why we are unnecessarily struggling when support is already available • Why respect, safety, and reliability matter before you can truly depend on someone • How repeatedly choosing unreliable people can reinforce the belief that nobody is safe to rely on • Ashlyn’s Unfiltered Moment on saying “I’m not okay” instead of automatically masking with “I’m good” Today’s Soft Landing: Being capable does not mean you are meant to carry everything alone. Receiving support does not make you weak, dependent, or less powerful. It makes room for connection. Where has your independence protected you, and where might it be keeping people out? 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    Does Independence Protect Black Women, or Is It Keeping Us Lonely?

  5. Aug 19 ·  Video

    Why Is It So Hard for Black Women to Be Average? | Twice as Good, Rest & Overachieving

    In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn are asking a question that sounds simple but carries a lot of weight: why is it so hard for Black women to be average? From childhood, many Black women are taught to be twice as good, overly prepared, polished, resilient, and constantly improving. We talk about what happens when those lessons follow us into adulthood and excellence stops feeling like a choice and starts feeling like the minimum requirement to be respected. We get into: • Where Black girls first learn that they may not receive the same grace as everyone else • Why the twice as good mentality can create anxiety, hypervigilance, and pressure to always be prepared • How constantly striving can make it harder to see how good you already are • Why rest can feel like falling behind when your identity is tied to achievement • The impossible pressure to get an A+ in beauty, career, money, relationships, and motherhood at the same time • Questioning whether the traditional boxes of marriage, kids, homeownership, and career milestones are goals you actually want • Today’s Unfiltered Moment on the uncomfortable reality of whether Black women still have to be twice as good to succeed Today’s Soft Landing: Your life does not have to be extraordinary to be meaningful. You are still worthy on the days you're not impressive, productive, polished, or proving anything. Where in your life do you feel the most pressure to be exceptional? 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    Why Is It So Hard for Black Women to Be Average? | Twice as Good, Rest & Overachieving

  6. Aug 12 ·  Video

    The Good Black Girl | How Being Good Follows Black Women Into Adulthood

    Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women. In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn are unpacking the “Good Black Girl” identity and what happens when the traits that earned you praise growing up start following you into adulthood. Being responsible, accomplished, dependable, well behaved, and always “on” can look like a strength from the outside, but what happens when your self worth becomes tied to how useful, capable, or easy you are for everyone else? We get into: • Why being the good girl never meant being boring and why Black women can be responsible and still multifaceted • How achievement, dependability, and praise can become intertwined with your identity • The curse of being extremely capable and why capability can create the illusion that your capacity is unlimited • What happens when you stop being useful to people and start paying attention to who still enjoys you • Why “wifey material” hits differently when every compliment is about what a woman does instead of who she is • How the Good Black Girl can grow into the Strong Black Woman and what that identity can cost • What choosing yourself can look like after spending too much time worrying about everyone and everything else Today’s Unfiltered Moment: The Good Black Girl can grow into the Strong Black Woman, and being praised for carrying everything may be costing us more than we realize. Today’s Soft Landing: You are allowed to be fully human, make mistakes, change your mind, and still be worthy. If this episode resonated, tell us what part of the Good Black Girl identity you are ready to let go of. 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    The Good Black Girl | How Being Good Follows Black Women Into Adulthood

  7. Aug 5 ·  Video

    Finish the Damn Thing. Stop Starting. Start Finishing.

    In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are talking about the thing nobody wants to admit. The half-finished projects. The goals that started strong and lost steam. The new ideas that keep replacing the old ones before any of them get finished. This episode is about the psychology of starting without finishing, and why finishing the damn thing is one of the most powerful things you can do for your confidence, your identity, and your future self. We got into: • Why perfectionism is just procrastination dressed up and why done is always better than perfect • The pain of discipline versus the pain of regret and why regret always hurts more • What never finishing anything actually costs you and why it destroys your self-trust over time • Why showing up at any capacity is better than not showing up at all and how five minutes actually counts • Why what lives in your head is never as bad as reality and why showing up imperfectly is still showing up authentically • Why nobody is coming to save you and what overnight success actually looks like from the inside • Ashlyn's unfiltered moment on the people who always have a new thing they are working on and never finish the first one Soft Landing: Done is better than perfect. Five minutes is better than zero. And started forever is the same as never. If this episode resonated drop a comment and tell us what you have been starting that you are finally going to finish. 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

  8. Jul 29 ·  Video

    Keep the Promises You Make to Yourself | Coach Zha on Pilates, Self-Trust & Discipline

    Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women. In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn sit down with Coach Zha, Nike Well Collective trainer, certified Pilates instructor, marathoner, founder of The League, and creator of Black Girl Pilates Club. What starts as a conversation about Pilates quickly becomes something much deeper. We talk about honoring your commitments, showing up for yourself, building confidence through consistency, and creating a life rooted in joy instead of depletion. Coach Zha also shares how postpartum depression led her to movement, why representation in wellness matters, and how building community has transformed not only her life, but the lives of countless women. We discuss: • Why Coach Zha created Black Girl Pilates Club and how it evolved into The League • How postpartum depression changed her relationship with wellness and movement • Why Pilates is about so much more than fitness—it teaches breathwork, strength, and slowing down • Helping Black women dismantle the belief that showing up for themselves is selfish • The meaning behind "Honor Your Commitments" and how keeping promises to yourself builds confidence • Why consistency matters more than motivation when building lasting habits • How Coach Zha built an award-winning wellness community rooted in representation and sisterhood • Why elevating your life sometimes requires eliminating relationships that no longer align • Making the leap from corporate America to entrepreneurship • The difference between balance and harmony—and why harmony is the goal Today's Unfiltered Moment: "Nobody is coming to save you. The life you want is on the other side of you being courageous enough to chase it." Today's Soft Landing: Keep the promises you make to yourself. Coach Zha reminds us that confidence isn't something you wait to feel it's something you build every time you show up for yourself. Honor your commitments, give yourself grace, and remember that the life you're creating begins with the choices you make today. Follow Coach Zha: Instagram & TikTok: @coachzha If this episode resonated with you, let us know in the comments: What's one commitment you're ready to start honoring for yourself? 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    Keep the Promises You Make to Yourself | Coach Zha on Pilates, Self-Trust & Discipline
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4.8
out of 5
34 Ratings

About

Hosted by Ashlyn and Blake, two multifaceted Black women based in Houston, Softly Unfiltered is where soft meets honest. Each week, we get real about personal growth, healing, navigating corporate America, and the messy, funny, and complex realities of modern dating. From breaking generational cycles to finding our voice in spaces that weren't built for us, our conversations blend honesty, humor, and hard truths—all rooted in our lived experiences. Whether we're swapping stories, tackling trending topics, or unpacking the unspoken rules of friendship, relationships, beauty, ambition, and womanhood, we're here to remind you that you can be soft and strong, ambitious and at peace, healed and still healing. If you've ever felt like you're balancing a hundred different versions of yourself, welcome. This is a space for the multifaceted girlies. Pull up a seat. The group chat is live. 💕 New episodes every Wednesday.

Information

  • Creator
    Ashlyn & Blake
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    97
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Ashlyn & Blake
  • Show Website
    Softly Unfiltered

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