Softly Unfiltered

Ashlyn & Blake
  • 4.8 (34)
  • Society & Culture
  • Updated Weekly

Hosted by Ashlyn and Blake, two multifaceted Black women based in Houston, Softly Unfiltered is where soft meets honest. Each week, we get real about personal growth, healing, navigating corporate America, and the messy, funny, and complex realities of modern dating. From breaking generational cycles to finding our voice in spaces that weren't built for us, our conversations blend honesty, humor, and hard truths—all rooted in our lived experiences. Whether we're swapping stories, tackling trending topics, or unpacking the unspoken rules of friendship, relationships, beauty, ambition, and womanhood, we're here to remind you that you can be soft and strong, ambitious and at peace, healed and still healing. If you've ever felt like you're balancing a hundred different versions of yourself, welcome. This is a space for the multifaceted girlies. Pull up a seat. The group chat is live. 💕 New episodes every Wednesday.

  1. 5h ago ·  Video

    Does Independence Protect Black Women, or Is It Keeping Us Lonely?

    Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women. In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn unpack a question many Black women know intimately: did independence protect us, or has it started keeping us from receiving the support and connection we actually want? For many of us, independence was learned early. Being able to handle things ourselves became capability, safety, stability, and sometimes protection from disappointment. But when “I can do it myself” becomes “I have to do it myself because I cannot trust anyone else,” independence can start looking a lot more like hyper-independence. We get into: • The difference between healthy independence and hyper-independence • Why one disappointing experience can make you stop asking for help altogether • The fear that receiving help will make you look incapable • Why receiving can feel harder than giving when control feels like safety • Asking why we are unnecessarily struggling when support is already available • Why respect, safety, and reliability matter before you can truly depend on someone • How repeatedly choosing unreliable people can reinforce the belief that nobody is safe to rely on • Ashlyn’s Unfiltered Moment on saying “I’m not okay” instead of automatically masking with “I’m good” Today’s Soft Landing: Being capable does not mean you are meant to carry everything alone. Receiving support does not make you weak, dependent, or less powerful. It makes room for connection. Where has your independence protected you, and where might it be keeping people out? 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    Does Independence Protect Black Women, or Is It Keeping Us Lonely?

  2. 6d ago ·  Video

    Why Is It So Hard for Black Women to Be Average? | Twice as Good, Rest & Overachieving

    In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn are asking a question that sounds simple but carries a lot of weight: why is it so hard for Black women to be average? From childhood, many Black women are taught to be twice as good, overly prepared, polished, resilient, and constantly improving. We talk about what happens when those lessons follow us into adulthood and excellence stops feeling like a choice and starts feeling like the minimum requirement to be respected. We get into: • Where Black girls first learn that they may not receive the same grace as everyone else • Why the twice as good mentality can create anxiety, hypervigilance, and pressure to always be prepared • How constantly striving can make it harder to see how good you already are • Why rest can feel like falling behind when your identity is tied to achievement • The impossible pressure to get an A+ in beauty, career, money, relationships, and motherhood at the same time • Questioning whether the traditional boxes of marriage, kids, homeownership, and career milestones are goals you actually want • Today’s Unfiltered Moment on the uncomfortable reality of whether Black women still have to be twice as good to succeed Today’s Soft Landing: Your life does not have to be extraordinary to be meaningful. You are still worthy on the days you're not impressive, productive, polished, or proving anything. Where in your life do you feel the most pressure to be exceptional? 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    Why Is It So Hard for Black Women to Be Average? | Twice as Good, Rest & Overachieving

  3. Aug 12 ·  Video

    The Good Black Girl | How Being Good Follows Black Women Into Adulthood

    Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women. In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn are unpacking the “Good Black Girl” identity and what happens when the traits that earned you praise growing up start following you into adulthood. Being responsible, accomplished, dependable, well behaved, and always “on” can look like a strength from the outside, but what happens when your self worth becomes tied to how useful, capable, or easy you are for everyone else? We get into: • Why being the good girl never meant being boring and why Black women can be responsible and still multifaceted • How achievement, dependability, and praise can become intertwined with your identity • The curse of being extremely capable and why capability can create the illusion that your capacity is unlimited • What happens when you stop being useful to people and start paying attention to who still enjoys you • Why “wifey material” hits differently when every compliment is about what a woman does instead of who she is • How the Good Black Girl can grow into the Strong Black Woman and what that identity can cost • What choosing yourself can look like after spending too much time worrying about everyone and everything else Today’s Unfiltered Moment: The Good Black Girl can grow into the Strong Black Woman, and being praised for carrying everything may be costing us more than we realize. Today’s Soft Landing: You are allowed to be fully human, make mistakes, change your mind, and still be worthy. If this episode resonated, tell us what part of the Good Black Girl identity you are ready to let go of. 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    The Good Black Girl | How Being Good Follows Black Women Into Adulthood

  4. Aug 5 ·  Video

    Finish the Damn Thing. Stop Starting. Start Finishing.

    In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are talking about the thing nobody wants to admit. The half-finished projects. The goals that started strong and lost steam. The new ideas that keep replacing the old ones before any of them get finished. This episode is about the psychology of starting without finishing, and why finishing the damn thing is one of the most powerful things you can do for your confidence, your identity, and your future self. We got into: • Why perfectionism is just procrastination dressed up and why done is always better than perfect • The pain of discipline versus the pain of regret and why regret always hurts more • What never finishing anything actually costs you and why it destroys your self-trust over time • Why showing up at any capacity is better than not showing up at all and how five minutes actually counts • Why what lives in your head is never as bad as reality and why showing up imperfectly is still showing up authentically • Why nobody is coming to save you and what overnight success actually looks like from the inside • Ashlyn's unfiltered moment on the people who always have a new thing they are working on and never finish the first one Soft Landing: Done is better than perfect. Five minutes is better than zero. And started forever is the same as never. If this episode resonated drop a comment and tell us what you have been starting that you are finally going to finish. 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

  5. Jul 29 ·  Video

    Keep the Promises You Make to Yourself | Coach Zha on Pilates, Self-Trust & Discipline

    Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women. In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn sit down with Coach Zha, Nike Well Collective trainer, certified Pilates instructor, marathoner, founder of The League, and creator of Black Girl Pilates Club. What starts as a conversation about Pilates quickly becomes something much deeper. We talk about honoring your commitments, showing up for yourself, building confidence through consistency, and creating a life rooted in joy instead of depletion. Coach Zha also shares how postpartum depression led her to movement, why representation in wellness matters, and how building community has transformed not only her life, but the lives of countless women. We discuss: • Why Coach Zha created Black Girl Pilates Club and how it evolved into The League • How postpartum depression changed her relationship with wellness and movement • Why Pilates is about so much more than fitness—it teaches breathwork, strength, and slowing down • Helping Black women dismantle the belief that showing up for themselves is selfish • The meaning behind "Honor Your Commitments" and how keeping promises to yourself builds confidence • Why consistency matters more than motivation when building lasting habits • How Coach Zha built an award-winning wellness community rooted in representation and sisterhood • Why elevating your life sometimes requires eliminating relationships that no longer align • Making the leap from corporate America to entrepreneurship • The difference between balance and harmony—and why harmony is the goal Today's Unfiltered Moment: "Nobody is coming to save you. The life you want is on the other side of you being courageous enough to chase it." Today's Soft Landing: Keep the promises you make to yourself. Coach Zha reminds us that confidence isn't something you wait to feel it's something you build every time you show up for yourself. Honor your commitments, give yourself grace, and remember that the life you're creating begins with the choices you make today. Follow Coach Zha: Instagram & TikTok: @coachzha If this episode resonated with you, let us know in the comments: What's one commitment you're ready to start honoring for yourself? 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    Keep the Promises You Make to Yourself | Coach Zha on Pilates, Self-Trust & Discipline

  6. Jul 22 ·  Video

    Knowing When to Walk Away | Jobs, Friendships & Relationships

    Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women. In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are talking about knowing when to leave. A job. A relationship. A friendship. And why so many of us stay way longer than we should, waiting for some dramatic event to justify the exit. The truth is, being slowly drained is a reason. Tired is a reason. And you do not need a disaster to justify choosing yourself. We got into: • Why we wait for a dramatic reason to leave when the slow drain is actually doing more damage • Being called selfish for finally choosing yourself and why people use that word whenever you stop being convenient • The guilt that comes with leaving when others still benefit from you staying, and why Black women carry that guilt harder • Why a boundary without a consequence is just a suggestion and what it means to actually put action behind your words • Forgiveness does not require reconciliation and how you can understand someone and still walk away • Why peace is the closure and how you do not need the other person to validate your decision • The harsh truth about what staying in the wrong situation is doing to your body and your face Soft Landing: You do not need a disaster to justify leaving. Sometimes leaving is an act of self-respect. Get out before you crash out. If this episode resonated drop a comment and tell us about a time you finally left something you should have left way sooner. 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

  7. Jul 15 ·  Video

    Strong or Struggling? | Why Black Women Struggle Asking For Help

    In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are talking about something that a lot of women, and especially Black women, have a really hard time with. Asking for help. Why do we resist it so much? What does it actually cost us to always say we are fine? And what does it look like to finally let people in without losing ourselves in the process? We got into: • The difference between being genuinely strong and just being really good at hiding that you are struggling • Why the strong Black woman label is quietly costing us on the inside, physically and mentally • How never asking for help damages your closest relationships because people eventually stop offering • Why it matters who you ask and why not everyone deserves access to your vulnerability • Why receiving help is actually more vulnerable than asking for it because it means opening the door to be let down • Closed mouths do not get fed and why you cannot have a woe is me attitude if you never speak up • The soft landing that your worth was never tied to doing it all alone Soft Landing: Asking for help isn't a sign that you're falling apart. It's a sign that you know your worth isn't tied to doing it all alone. If this episode resonated drop a comment and tell us about a time you finally asked for help and it changed everything. 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    Strong or Struggling? | Why Black Women Struggle Asking For Help

  8. Jul 8 ·  Video

    All I Need to Do Is Stay Black and Die | The Pressure to Make Everyone Else Comfortable

    In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are talking about something that every Black woman in a predominantly white space has felt but does not always have the language for. The invisible labor of performing palatability. The exhaustion of scanning every room. The pressure to shrink yourself, over-explain yourself, and apologize for taking up space. And the very real question of how you stay pro-Black while climbing in institutions that were not built for you. We got into: • Why as Black women our confidence is sometimes too big for the room and why that is never our problem to fix • Blake's experience at a hotel pool in Santa Monica where her group was the first to arrive and the last to be served • The invisible layers of walking into every space as a Black woman and why white people will never understand that specific tax • Emma Grede, corporate success, and the question of what parts of yourself you are expected to sacrifice to make it • How to stop apologizing, stop over-explaining, and stop tiptoeing at work when you are simply doing your job • The real question of how you stay pro-Black while climbing in institutions that do not look like you • The difference between adapting to survive and completely abandoning your identity as a Black person • Why we are the blueprint, the trendsetters, and why nothing is cool until we do it first Soft Landing: Stay true to your Blackness. Do not abandon yourself for acceptance. We are the blueprint and we are the trendsetters. Always remember that. If this episode resonated drop a comment and tell us about a time you had to decide between fitting in and staying true to yourself. 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    All I Need to Do Is Stay Black and Die | The Pressure to Make Everyone Else Comfortable
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4.8
out of 5
34 Ratings

About

Hosted by Ashlyn and Blake, two multifaceted Black women based in Houston, Softly Unfiltered is where soft meets honest. Each week, we get real about personal growth, healing, navigating corporate America, and the messy, funny, and complex realities of modern dating. From breaking generational cycles to finding our voice in spaces that weren't built for us, our conversations blend honesty, humor, and hard truths—all rooted in our lived experiences. Whether we're swapping stories, tackling trending topics, or unpacking the unspoken rules of friendship, relationships, beauty, ambition, and womanhood, we're here to remind you that you can be soft and strong, ambitious and at peace, healed and still healing. If you've ever felt like you're balancing a hundred different versions of yourself, welcome. This is a space for the multifaceted girlies. Pull up a seat. The group chat is live. 💕 New episodes every Wednesday.

Information

  • Creator
    Ashlyn & Blake
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    94
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Ashlyn & Blake
  • Show Website
    Softly Unfiltered

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