The Messy Parts

with Maryam Banikarim
  • 4.9 (64)
  • Careers

New career advice and messy stories, every Monday.  Whether you’re at the top, or striving to get there—you may have noticed the one thing people rarely talk about: how hard it is to achieve success. The Messy Parts is the answer—a podcast where you’ll hear about the twists, turns and pivots that shape extraordinary careers. The real messy parts along the way. Host Maryam Banikarim has been through it, so she gets it. Maryam has been a transformative leader across media, hospitality and tech. Her powerhouse resume features more than 20 years in the C-Suite at companies like Hyatt, NBC, and Nextdoor—and she has a vast, influential network to match. On The Messy Parts, she brings you unparalleled access to that network. Deeply honest, vulnerable conversations with Maryam—who is never afraid to ask the questions on everyone's mind. Join us as we get real, unfiltered, and messy.

  1. 1d ago

    "I Don't Know How to Balance All of This": Faherty Co-Founder Kerry Docherty on Business, Marriage, and Choosing Yourself

    Kerry Docherty is a co-founder of Faherty, the surf lifestyle brand she built alongside her husband, his identical twin brother, and her mother-in-law. But behind the sun-soaked brand was a woman quietly carrying the weight of secrets — from childhood, from marriage, and from a business that nearly broke her. In this episode, Kerry opens up to Maryam about growing up in an Irish Catholic household where hard things went unspoken, what it really means to work with your spouse, the emotional affair that changed everything, and why she's spent the last few years reclaiming a word most women are taught to fear: selfish. If you've ever felt guilty for wanting something for yourself, this one is for you.  Subscribe to The Messy Parts so you never miss a conversation like this one. Key Moments 02:04 - The Peacemaker 🕊️  Kerry describes growing up as the quintessential middle child in a Buffalo, NY household — always fine, always keeping the peace, and putting everyone else's needs before her own. 03:14 - Groomed to Be Good 👧  Kerry reflects on how she was conditioned from a young age to be kind, generous, and selfless, and how that conditioning quietly disconnected her from her own needs. 04:16 - The Green Ribbon 🎀  Kerry shares the childhood story of Jenny and the green ribbon, and how it planted an early question in her mind about the true cost of secrets. 06:15 - A Seed of Shame 🌱  When we feel we can't share certain parts of ourselves, it doesn't just stay hidden — Kerry says it quietly becomes a seed of shame growing from within. 10:02 - Pre-Enlightenment Syndrome 😂  Kerry coins her own self-diagnosis: "pre-enlightenment syndrome" — the belief that she was perfectly fine at all times — until her therapist told her she was actually repressed. 11:27 - Mom Goes to India 🧘  When her stay-at-home mom left for a month to become a yoga teacher in India, Kerry thought it was selfish — but really, it was a gift. 13:14 - The Van, the Store, the Dream 🚐 Hear how Kerry and her husband quit their jobs, drove a mobile beach shop cross-country, and sold flannels out of parking lots — the origin story of what would become Faherty. 17:59 - Salary Negotiation in Couples Therapy 💸  A couples therapy session quickly uncovered far deeper questions about Kerry’s value, emotional labor, and how she and her husband saw each other. 20:28 - "You Just Do What You Want" 💥  How an offhand remark that became the emotional center of Kerry’s entire memoir. 25:05 - The Fantasy World 🌀  Kerry created an emotional fantasy world around another person, and realized what she was really longing for was a part of herself she had buried. 27:05 - "I Read Your Letter to Beau" 📱  Kerry’s phone buzzes — her husband has found and read the private letter she wrote to another man. She describes the moment as both terrifying and profoundly relieving. 31:16 - The Messiness Is the Beautiful Part ✨  In her closing reflection, Kerry lands on the hardest and most honest lesson from everything she's been through: that consequences of telling the truth are messy, but they create intimacy. Send us Fan Mail Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com To stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.

    40 min

  2. May 25

    She Was Called “Dumb.” Now Assia Grazioli-Venier Invests Millions in Women’s Health.

    What if the hardest parts of your life were actually setting you up for something bigger? Assia Grazioli-Venier’s story is a powerful reminder that your worst moments don’t define you — what you do next does. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Assia shares with Maryam her journey through dyslexia, cancer, infertility, and major career pivots — and how she turned every setback into fuel. She opens up about building a venture capital fund, why women struggle to raise money, and what she wishes she knew about finance earlier in life. If you’ve ever doubted yourself or felt behind, this conversation will change how you see your story. 👉 Subscribe for more honest conversations about career pivots, resilience, and growth. Key Moments 00:00 - “I Thought I Was Dumb” 🧠 Assia reflects on growing up with undiagnosed dyslexia and how discovering it changed the trajectory of her life. 01:04 - The Pitching Mistake Women Make 💼 Assia and Maryam unpack why so many women begin pitches from a place of apology instead of confidence. 02:04 - “You’re Doing Them a Favor” 💰 Assia shares the mindset shift that transformed the way she approached fundraising and investing. 03:21 - The Miles Davis Quote That Defines Her Life 🎺 Assia explains why “It’s not the bad note, it’s the note you play after” became her guiding philosophy. 04:44 - Learning Money & Power the Hard Way 📈 Assia discusses entering tech and venture capital without understanding equity, finance, or negotiation. 08:21 - Why 98% of Capital Goes to Men 🚨 A candid conversation about venture capital, power structures, and why women are still underfunded. 13:26 - From the Italian Countryside to NYC 🌍 Assia shares her unconventional childhood growing up between rural Italy and Manhattan’s Upper East Side. 16:13 - “Dyslexia Is My Superpower” ⚡ She explains how dyslexia became one of her greatest strengths—and why mindset matters more than labels. 19:20 - The Accident That Changed Everything 🚕 After being hit by a taxi at 22, Assia’s original career path collapsed—and unexpectedly led her into tech. 23:13 - The Wild Early Days of Spotify 🎧 Assia recounts helping build Spotify during the early streaming era and why she believed in the future of music tech. 30:49 - The Cancer Diagnosis That Sparked Muse Capital ❤️ A breast cancer diagnosis led Assia to uncover shocking gaps in women’s healthcare—and ultimately launch her VC fund. 40:23 - How to AI-Proof Your Career 🤖 Assia shares her thoughts on the future of work, education, and the skills AI can’t replace. 41:36 - Advice for Anyone Struggling With Confidence 🌱 Her perspective on confidence, self-doubt, and why knowledge and work ethic matter more than perfection. 42:00 - “It’s Going to Be More Than Okay” ✨ Assia reflects on infertility, resilience, and why life’s messiest moments can become your greatest gifts. Send us Fan Mail Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com To stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.

    43 min

  3. May 18

    Her Mother and Grandmother Said Nothing. Belle Burden Broke the Silence.

    Belle Burden was raised in a family where you simply did not talk about the messy parts. So when her husband left without explanation during COVID lockdown — and then asked her to tell people it was amicable — something in her snapped. In this episode, the New York Times bestselling author of “Strangers” tells Maryam about the moment she chose radical honesty over a managed narrative, and why that single decision changed everything. Belle and Maryam explore the eerie parallel between how betrayed spouses and laid-off professionals are both pressured to keep quiet and stay composed — and what it really costs us when we do. If you've ever swallowed your truth to make someone else comfortable, this one's for you.  👉 New episodes every week. Subscribe for more honest conversations that might change the way you see your own messy parts. Key Moments 0:00 - When the Earth Moves 🌍  Belle reflects on what it means to have your life upended without warning — and why the only way through is one slow, deliberate step at a time. 1:40 - The Unexpected Bestseller 🚀  Belle reveals she expected her book to sell fewer than 7,000 copies — and is now in its ninth printing, reaching readers far beyond the divorced women she imagined. 3:22 - "I Thought I Was the Only One" 💔  Belle describes the flood of messages from strangers sharing almost identical stories of sudden, unexplained abandonment — and why these stories stay hidden. 5:17 - The Harvard Moment That Changed Everything ✍️  A cruel comment from a senior student convinced Belle she couldn't write — and she believed it for 30 years. 7:00 - Growing Up Paley 👑  Belle paints a picture of her unusual childhood — the granddaughter of style icon Babe Paley, yet quietly lonely, nerdy, and never quite fitting in. 10:22 - Breaking the Pattern She Never Could 💍  Belle explains how she consciously chose a mild-mannered husband to escape her family's legacy of infidelity — and how spectacularly that plan unraveled. 13:24 - The Prenup She Didn't Tell Anyone About 💸  Two weeks before her wedding, Belle was convinced to change her prenup — and didn't tell her mother, her lawyer, or her brother. 23:46 - The Sandwich 🥪  The most talked-about moment in the book: Belle makes her husband a sandwich as he tells their daughters he's leaving — and explains what it actually meant. 28:51 - Don't Make a Scene 🤐  Belle and Maryam unpack the eerie parallel between how women are pressured to stay composed after a husband walks out and how laid-off employees are managed into silence. 36:43 - Breaking the Generational Silence 🔇  Belle describes delivering the manuscript to her mother on Thanksgiving — and the phone call she received within 24 hours that changed their relationship forever. 45:19 - What She Knows Now 🌅  Belle reflects on what she's discovered about herself on the other side: a writer, a stronger woman, and someone far less fragile than she ever believed. Send us Fan Mail Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com To stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.

    47 min

  4. May 11

    Bevy Smith Climbed the Ladder, Looked Around — and Jumped Off

    What does it take to walk away from a six-figure career with no plan, go broke, and come out the other side with a Bravo show, an Amazon Prime series, and a Broadway stage credit? In this episode of The Messy Parts, the one and only Bevy Smith tells Maryam about growing up in Central Harlem, cutting her teeth in luxury fashion advertising, landing at Vibe and Rolling Stone, and then walking away from all of it to start over — completely sure she was making the right call. Find out what caused Bevy to realize her dream had become a nightmare, how she built Dinner with Bevy from nothing, and why she didn't book her first acting gig until she was 56. Plus: the sheer shirt/mink coat job interview, telling Vibe she couldn't fly coach, and what her mom taught her about men. If you've ever felt restless at the top, this one's for you. 🔔 Subscribe so you never miss a messy story. Key Moments 00:00 - Freedom Over Money 💸  Bevy opens with a bold declaration: she quit her six-figure fashion career at 29 because freedom has always mattered more to her than a paycheck. 01:47 - The Hamlet of Harlem 🏙️  Bevy explains why she calls herself "from the Hamlet of Harlem" — and why knowing exactly where you're from is the foundation of everything. 03:08 - The Barmaids Who Made Her 🍸  Bevy traces her entire hosting style back to the glamorous barmaids at the Dunbar Tavern on her block — the original glam pusses who made everyone feel welcome. 05:46 - How She Stole Her Own Job 📞  The legendary story of how Bevy, as a temp receptionist, told every caller the position was already filled — and ended up getting hired for it herself. 13:53 - Selling Fashion to Vibe 🎤  Bevy reveals how she landed luxury brands like Gucci and Prada in Vibe Magazine — not with data decks, but by telling the story of Black style as a cultural birthright rooted in the Civil Rights era. 23:02 - The Rolling Stone Interview Outfit 🐆  Bevy walks into a job interview at Rolling Stone in a mink coat, an Hermès scarf, and a sheer blouse — and explains exactly why she dressed that way. 28:37 - The Milan Breakdown 😭  The pivotal moment: alone in a luxury hotel suite in Milan, surrounded by gifts from fashion houses, Bevy collapses into tears and realizes her dream has become a nightmare. 31:32 - Broke But Not Broken 🙏  After two years of world travel, acting classes, and creative pursuits, Bevy hits rock bottom financially — and describes it as the most blissful period of her life. 33:38 - How Bravo Found Bevy 📺  The surprisingly casual chain of events — a friend, a phone call, Andy Cohen on Fire Island — that led to Bevy landing on national television. 41:22 - It Gets Greater Later 🌟 Bevy explains her signature mantra, pointing to her first acting gig at 56 that turned into three seasons on Amazon Prime's Harlem as proof. 43:57 - Rapid Fire with Bevy 🔥  Messy moments, last time Send us Fan Mail Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com To stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.

    46 min

  5. May 4

    Joanna Coles: The Career Advice Feminism Never Gave You

    Joanna Coles built one of the most storied careers in media — from editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan to running The Daily Beast. So when she says feminism got it wrong, people listen. In this episode, Joanna challenges assumptions about ambition, motherhood, and what a successful life actually looks like. She reveals why curiosity — not ambition — drove every major career move she made, what she wishes someone had told her at 28, and why the "have it all" conversation has been missing its most important ingredient. Plus: the moment she knew it was time to walk away from Hearst after 12 years, and what reinvention really looks like from the inside. 🔔 Subscribe to The Messy Parts — where real success stories include the parts that didn't go according to plan. Key Moments:  0:00 - The Boss Perk Nobody Talks About 💼  Joanna drops straight into one of her most practical pieces of advice — why being the boss isn't about power. 1:16 - The Taxi Ambush 🚕  Joanna recounts the audacious moment she drag-raced up Park Avenue and leapt into a CEO's car to ask for a job. 2:34 - "Feminism Got It Wrong" 🔥  Joanna unpacks her viral take — why she believes the feminist movement failed to celebrate motherhood. 5:46 - From Yorkshire to New York 🌍  Joanna traces her journey from growing up in "the Texas of Britain" to becoming the Guardian's New York bureau chief — and why she never went back. 8:15 - Curiosity Over Ambition 💡  Joanna rejects the label of "ambitious" entirely — and makes the case that curiosity is the real engine behind a big career. 13:29 - The End of the Magazine Era 📰  Joanna reflects on the bittersweet experience of leading iconic magazines while watching the industry she loved change forever. 20:38 - Getting Bypassed for the Top Job ⚡  Joanna opens up about being passed over for the CEO role at Hearst, and the very public, very boss way she chose to make her exit on a treadmill desk. 22:43 - The Portfolio Phase 🔄  Joanna and Maryam get real about the messy in-between — board seats, SPACs, and the disorienting freedom of not having one defining job title anymore. 27:12 - Walking Away from Her Marriage 💔  After 28 years and two sons, Joanna reflects candidly on ending her marriage — and why she rejects the word "failure" when it comes to long relationships. 30:13 - AI & The Future of News 🤖  Joanna shares what excites and worries her about AI, how The Daily Beast is using it, and why she's glad it still can't predict the news. 39:40 - Rapid Fire with Joanna ⚡  Alternate careers, the last time she cried, and the one fashion choice she'd erase from history — Joanna closes out with her most unfiltered answers yet. Send us Fan Mail Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com To stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.

    41 min
  6. Rapid Response: The "Most Stressed" Wellness CEO, with Calm's David Ko

    May 2

    Rapid Response: The "Most Stressed" Wellness CEO, with Calm's David Ko

    Today we're dropping something a little different into your feed: a conversation from our friends at the Rapid Response podcast. Maryam was a guest on the show recently with host Bob Safian, but in the episode you’re about to hear, Bob sits down with David Ko, the CEO of Calm — the mental health and wellness app with more than 180 million downloads — right as he's announcing he's stepping down. Ko unpacks why he made the call, what the relentless pressure of the C-suite really does to a person, and how to draw the line between the kind of stress that sharpens you and the kind that quietly breaks you down. Visit the Rapid Response website here: https://www.rapidresponseshow.com/ Send us Fan Mail Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com To stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.

    34 min

  7. Apr 27

    Parul Somani Was Holding Her Newborn When the Doctor Called with a Cancer Diagnosis. Then Came the Layoff.

    Parul Somani was 31 years old, holding her one-week-old newborn, when her phone rang. It was her breast surgeon. On a Saturday. She knew it wasn't good news. What followed — cancer treatment, chemotherapy, a layoff she never saw coming, and a years-long search for work that actually meant something — would have broken most people. Instead, it rebuilt her. In this episode, Parul tells Maryam about growing up with immigrant parents who kept their struggles private; following the prestige path all the way to MIT, Harvard, and Bain; and what it finally took to stop optimizing her life and start actually living it. This one is raw, real, and deeply human.  Key Moments 00:31 - Two Crises at Once 🏥  At 31, Parul gives birth, her baby lands in the NICU, and a breast cancer diagnosis follows days later. 04:06 - Her Mother's Secret 🤫  Growing up, Parul watched her mom hide a breast cancer diagnosis behind closed curtains and a wig. 06:25 - The Call That Changed Everything 📞  A breast surgeon calls on a Saturday with news that multiple doctors had dismissed for months. 08:42 - When Advocacy Saves a Life 🔬  How Parul's husband's own family history of cancer drove them to push past doctors who said "don't worry." 10:49 - Grounded Hope 🌱  Why blind optimism isn't enough — and the research-backed mindset that helped Parul survive. 14:51 - The Prestige Trap 🎓  MIT, Harvard, Bain — Parul traces the high-achievement path she followed before cancer forced her to question it. 21:24 - When Purpose Finds You 🎯  Parul discovers a genetics startup that feels like her exact life story — and lands squarely in her Ikigai. 23:03 - Blindsided by a Layoff 😳  Parul walks into a meeting with HR and legal — and somehow still doesn't see it coming. 27:43 - After the Cry in the Car 🚗  Practical advice for what to actually do after a layoff, from someone who's been there. 33:23 - The Messy Path to Purpose 📖  Five years of book rejections, a speaking career derailed by COVID, and why "the learning is in the mess." Send us Fan Mail Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com To stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.

    38 min

  8. Apr 20

    She Wanted to Be a Supreme Court Justice. Until One Class Changed Everything.

    What does it take to walk away from everything you thought you wanted? Artist C. Finley knows. She was pre-law, headed for the Supreme Court, until one semester cracked her wide open and changed the entire trajectory of her life. Today she's a renowned muralist, large-scale painter, and the force behind the Every Woman Biennial — but the path here was anything but straight. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Finley gets honest with Maryam about identity collapse, creative risk, inconsistent income, and why being foolish enough to go for it might be the most strategic thing you ever do. From Missouri to Rome to the streets of New York, this is a story about following the thread that lights you up — even when everyone around you thinks you've lost your mind Key Moments 0:00 - Finding Her Calling 🎨 Finley reflects on the terrifying, electric moment she realized painting was her purpose — and why a blank canvas never gets old. 0:52 - Growing Up an Outsider 🌾  Small-town Missouri, a cultural void, and a kid building worlds alone in her backyard — Finley on the childhood that shaped everything. 2:51 - The Supreme Court Dream ⚖️  Why a fierce sense of fairness had Finley on a hyper-focused path to the Supreme Court — until she actually read a law brief. 5:23 - The Class That Changed Everything 💥  One semester. One teacher. Thirty-two paintings in a basement. The moment Finley's entire identity cracked wide open. 8:12 - Telling Her Parents 😬  She applied to art school without telling anyone. Then came the tears, the silence, and her dad not speaking to her for a month. 13:03 - Arriving in New York 🗽  Pratt, Fort Greene before it was cool, and finally landing in the city she'd been dreaming about since she was a kid. 15:32 - The Ridley Scott Years 🎬  How Finley went from art school graduate to music video sets, scenic painting, and learning the hustle that would fuel her entire career. 19:06 - Rock Bottom in LA 🌊  A heartbreak, a drive-by shooting, a broken-into house, and a $10,000 grant that arrived at exactly the right moment. 24:11 - The Magic Door in Rome 🇮🇹  A stranger spends 13 hours studying her work, then offers her an apartment and a residency. The pivot that changed absolutely everything. 29:30 - The Dumpster Goes Viral 🗑️  How two rolls of leftover wallpaper, two dumpsters in Rome, and one guerrilla midnight mission made the New York Times. 33:08 - The Every Woman Biennial 🌸  What started as a joke between friends became one of the most inclusive art events in the country — including a run-in with Whitney Houston's publicist. 37:04 - Rapid Fire & Real Talk ⚡  Paint disasters, crying two days ago, and the one piece of advice Finley gives everyone navigating a pivot: go be a fool. Send us Fan Mail Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com To stay up to date with The Messy Parts and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple or Spotify or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.

    40 min
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About

New career advice and messy stories, every Monday.  Whether you’re at the top, or striving to get there—you may have noticed the one thing people rarely talk about: how hard it is to achieve success. The Messy Parts is the answer—a podcast where you’ll hear about the twists, turns and pivots that shape extraordinary careers. The real messy parts along the way. Host Maryam Banikarim has been through it, so she gets it. Maryam has been a transformative leader across media, hospitality and tech. Her powerhouse resume features more than 20 years in the C-Suite at companies like Hyatt, NBC, and Nextdoor—and she has a vast, influential network to match. On The Messy Parts, she brings you unparalleled access to that network. Deeply honest, vulnerable conversations with Maryam—who is never afraid to ask the questions on everyone's mind. Join us as we get real, unfiltered, and messy.

Information

  • Creator
    with Maryam Banikarim
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    49
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Messy Parts
  • Show Website
    The Messy Parts

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