The Problem of Money Podcast

Shabbar Kassam and Tim Malnick

Shabbar Kassam (Financial Advisor) and Tim Malnick (Organisational Psychologist) explore the complex relationship people have with money. They discuss the psychological aspects of money and how it can block personal growth, reflecting on their own journeys with money and the emotional constraints it can impose. Together, they aim to uncover deeper insights into everyday money conversations and the impact of unconscious biases on one's ability to live a life of freedom.

  1. 2D AGO

    Ep 45: Why Earning More Than Your Friends Feels Weird!

    The Social Ladder: Why Earning More Than Your Friends Feels So Weird 📈🤐 Do you feel a secret "shot in the arm" when you realize you're higher up the social ladder than someone else? Or does looking at those with less leave you feeling paralyzed by a sense of "privilege" and "unfairness"? In this provocative follow-up to our previous episode on relating to the wealthy, we flip the script! We dive deep into the uncomfortable psychological territory of how we relate to people who have—or appear to have—LESS MONEY than we do. Shabbar and Tim move past the surface-level "politeness" of financial success to expose the internal "Status Game" we all play. We perform psychological detective work on the stories we tell ourselves when we see a neighbour's car, hear about a friend's modest holiday, or encounter someone experiencing homelessness. We reveal why the "number" in your bank account is a hollow proxy for your human value, and how projecting success or failure onto that number actually sabotages your most important relationships. In this episode, you will discover: Why we use other people's financial situations to reassure ourselves—and why that "reassurance" is a fragile illusion. Why a secondhand vehicle might hide a life of passion, while a luxury car could be a set of "golden handcuffs" for someone who is miserable. A powerful real-life story that shatters our assumptions about who "deserves" to be where on the social scale. Why feeling "guilty" about your success helps no one, and how to move toward genuine, free-flowing generosity. Join us as we explore how to stop letting our net worth objectify the people around us, and how to find a lighter, more authentic way to show up in your community. Explore the impact of Tim Malnick's work and register for his upcoming workshop at: https://timothymalnick.com/ Find out more about Shabbar's services at: https://lumosfinancial.com/ Feel free to comment, ask questions, and connect with them both on Linkedin at:  https://uk.linkedin.com/in/shabbarkassam https://uk.linkedin.com/in/timmalnick

    41 min
  2. FEB 11

    Ep 44: Why YOU Act Weird Around People WEALTHIER THAN YOURSELF!

    The Billionaire Guru Myth: Why You Act "Weird" Around Wealth 🤫💰 Why do we suddenly become tongue-tied, sweating, or acting like "insecure children" the moment we realize someone has a significantly larger bank balance than we do? Whether it's a client with a million-pound portfolio or a CEO who just sold a business for nine figures, a simple number often acts as a psychological boundary that diminishes our own authority and confidence. In this episode, Shabbar and Tim flip the coin from last week's conversation. We dive into the "weirdness" of relating to those with more money and expose the unconscious projections that make us inflate others while deflating ourselves. We explore the "Halo Effect"—the dangerous modern tendency to treat billionaires as all-knowing gurus—and reveal why financial success in one area of life often masks profound poverty in others. Through raw personal stories, including Tim's experience coaching high-powered London lawyers and a moving account of a billionaire, we show you how to see through the numbers to the human being underneath. In this episode, you will discover: Why your brain treats £999,000 differently than £1,000,000, and how that mental trap sabotages your competence. How our awkwardness creates a disconnected dance that prevents genuine human meeting. Why we shouldn't confuse follower counts or bank balances with actual insight. A "brave step" strategy to break the tension in the room and build real rapport with high-net-worth individuals. Stop letting someone else's zeros make you feel like a zero. Learn how to reclaim your authority and meet anyone—from a neighbour to a billionaire—as a peer. Explore the impact of Tim Malnick's work and register for his upcoming workshop at: https://timothymalnick.com/ Find out more about Shabbar's services at: https://lumosfinancial.com/ Feel free to comment, ask questions, and connect with them both on Linkedin at:  https://uk.linkedin.com/in/shabbarkassam  https://uk.linkedin.com/in/timmalnick

    43 min
  3. FEB 4

    Ep 43: SUDDEN WEALTH: Why Relationships Get Weird

    Have you ever received a massive pay rise or a life-changing bonus, only to find yourself wishing you'd never told your family? It sounds like a "first-world problem," but for many, sudden financial success triggers a wave of unspoken pressure, hidden resentment, and a total shift in relationship dynamics. In this episode, we dive into the raw reality of being the "successful one" in the family. We share the story of a client who, after a significant leap in income, found themselves suddenly expected to fund family holidays and feel responsible for everyone else's financial happiness. Why do people who never used to be "weird" together suddenly feel like strangers when a bank balance changes? We move beyond surface-level advice to perform psychological detective work on the projections we cast onto the numbers. We explore why we feel a "compulsion" to be generous and the crippling fear of being labeled "stingy" or "mean." In this episode, you will discover: The Generosity Trap: Why giving out of pressure isn't actually generosity. The "American Dream" Backlash: How cultural expectations and first-generation success can lead to a profound sense of isolation and being "misunderstood" by those you love most. Why the capacity to say "No" is the only way to ensure your "Yes" is authentic and freely given. How your new "number" triggers projections in others, making you appear like an "idealized superhero" rather than a human being. Whether you're the one moving up the ladder or you're feeling "funny" around a friend who has suddenly hit it big, this conversation provides the clarity needed to keep the money from getting in the way of the connection. Explore the impact of Tim Malnick's work and register for his upcoming workshop at: https://timothymalnick.com/ Find out more about Shabbar's services at: https://lumosfinancial.com/ Feel free to comment, ask questions, and connect with them both on Linkedin at:  https://uk.linkedin.com/in/shabbarkassam https://uk.linkedin.com/in/timmalnick

    38 min
  4. JAN 28

    Ep 42: Money Does NOT Buy Peace of Mind

    The Great Financial Lie: Why "Peace of Mind" Isn't in Your Bank Account 💸  We kick off the year with a radical realization that sent a marketing consultant back to the drawing board and left a veteran financial advisor questioning his entire professional identity. In this episode, Shabbar reveals a phrase suggested for his new LinkedIn bio that triggered an immediate, visceral "No!"—leading to a deep exploration of the most common myths in wealth management. We often hear that money is the tool for "choices, freedom, and peace of mind," but what if that promise is fundamentally flawed? We dive into the "New Paradigm" of money work, where we decouple the numbers in your account from the qualities of your character. Why is it that a student with a backpack can feel more free than a billionaire in a boardroom? Why does peace of mind remain an internal state that no amount of compound interest can buy? In this episode, you will discover: Why standard financial slogans feel "off" once you understand how money psychology actually works. The "Of Course" Trap: A simple mental exercise to identify the inherited stories that are creating your current financial reality. How shifting the "centre" of your decision-making radically changes your experience of "okayness." Why the future of financial advice requires a blend of spreadsheets and soul-work. Counter-Intuitive Freedom: Real-life examples of how radical freedom often happens when the numbers are at their lowest. Whether you are a professional looking to communicate more authentically or an individual tired of chasing a "number" that never feels like enough, this conversation will challenge you to rip up the old playbook and find a lighter, more honest way to live in 2026. Explore the impact of Tim Malnick's work and register for his upcoming workshop at: https://timothymalnick.com/ Find out more about Shabbar's services at: https://lumosfinancial.com/ Feel free to comment, ask questions, and connect with them both on Linkedin at:  https://uk.linkedin.com/in/shabbarkassam https://uk.linkedin.com/in/timmalnick

    35 min
  5. JAN 21

    Ep 41: Are You Planning a WEDDING or Seeking APPROVAL?

    The Wedding Budget Trap: Are You Planning a Celebration or Buying Approval? 💍💸 Weddings are meant to be a joyous rite of passage, but for many, they have become a source of crippling financial stress and emotional exhaustion. Whether it's an Asian community wedding with a £50,000 price tag or a modest ceremony, the same question arises: Why does the budget feel like a battlefield? In this episode, we move past the spreadsheets to look at the "gnarly" psychological drivers behind wedding spending. We explore the paralyzing fear of "looking bad" to the community and how the pressure to maintain reputation often overrides our own Life Path. In this episode, you will discover: The "Looking Bad" Tax: Why we spend thousands not to create joy, but to avoid the discomfort of other people's judgment. How to stop focusing on the "number per head" and start focusing on the emotional qualities you actually want your wedding to embody. How to enter marriage with authenticity by balancing respect for tradition with the courage of your own convictions. The Myth of the Number: Why a £10,000 loan won't guarantee a happy marriage, and why "magic" can be created with or without a huge budget. Parental Pressure: How to navigate the guilt of not being a "good provider" when you can't afford the plush wedding your community expects. Whether you are planning your own big day, supporting a child, or attending as a guest, this conversation will help you navigate the "Wedding Industrial Complex" with a lighter heart and a more conscious wallet. Explore the impact of Tim Malnick's work and register for his upcoming workshop at: https://timothymalnick.com/ Find out more about Shabbar's services at: https://lumosfinancial.com/ Feel free to comment, ask questions, and connect with them both on Linkedin at:  https://uk.linkedin.com/in/shabbarkassam https://uk.linkedin.com/in/timmalnick

    43 min
  6. JAN 14

    Ep 40: Why MONEY is The No.1 Cause of DIVORCE in January!

    Money Rows: The Real Reason Relationships Fail in January 💔💰 Statistically, January is the peak month for divorce inquiries, and the #1 reason cited is almost always "conflict over money." But is money actually the cause of divorce? In this eye-opening episode, we move past the surface-level arguments about credit card bills and bankruptcy to uncover the deep-seated psychological projections that tear couples apart. We challenge the common narrative that "he spends too much" or "she is too controlling," revealing instead how these money behaviors are often the very qualities we once fell in love with—but now struggle to integrate within ourselves. In this episode, you will discover: Why money doesn't push people apart, but our refusal to accept human difference does. The "Tight-Arse" vs. The "Reckless Spender": Why you were likely attracted to your partner's opposite money style, and why it's now driving you crazy. Real-life examples of how two couples can face bankruptcy, yet one thrives while the other dissolves. How to move from "unconscious guardrails" to a values-based spending plan that honours both responsibility and spontaneity. Whether you're in a happy relationship, navigating a difficult one, or starting fresh, this conversation provides a radical new lens for understanding the person sitting across the table from you. Explore the impact of Tim Malnick's work and register for his upcoming workshop at: https://timothymalnick.com/ Find out more about Shabbar's services at: https://lumosfinancial.com/ Feel free to comment, ask questions, and connect with them both on Linkedin at:  https://uk.linkedin.com/in/shabbarkassam https://uk.linkedin.com/in/timmalnick

    37 min
  7. JAN 7

    Ep 39: Flip the Script on Your MONEY STORY in 2026!

    We often think our financial struggles are about "reality" - not having enough, getting ripped off, or being "bad" with budgets. But what if the biggest obstacle in your bank account is actually a stuck story you've been telling yourself for decades?  In this first deep-dive of 2026, we explore the incredible power of deliberate reframing. We move beyond just identifying your "money path" and show you how to consciously choose a new narrative that creates immediate lightness and freedom. Using a raw and honest example of hiring marketing consultants, Shabbar reveals how he moved from a story of "paranoia and self-blame" (feeling stupid and ripped off) to a story of "Research & Development" (treating expenditure as an investment in learning). Same money spent, same business—but a completely different internal reality. In this episode, you will discover: How "I have to do this" stories create a mental prison that guarantees frustration. How to change your story from "I'm exploiting people" to a different one that still sits well with you. A radical 2026 challenge—can you view a major purchase as an act of trusting life rather than preparing for a "scary future"? Whether you are a self-employed professional struggling to set fees or someone paralyzed by fear of the future, this episode offers a practical, fun, and experimental way to rewrite your financial destiny this year. Explore the impact of Tim Malnick's work and register for his upcoming workshop at: https://timothymalnick.com/ Find out more about Shabbar's services at: https://lumosfinancial.com/ Feel free to comment, ask questions, and connect with them both on Linkedin at:  https://uk.linkedin.com/in/shabbarkassam https://uk.linkedin.com/in/timmalnick

    37 min
  8. 12/31/2025

    Ep 38: (New Year Special) 6 Money Lessons to Transform Your 2026!

    New Year, New Money Mindset: 2025 Highlights & 2026 Resolutions 🎆 Welcome to our 2025 year-end special! In this episode, we're looking back at the most transformative moments from the past year to help you propel your financial and emotional well-being into 2026. Whether you're a long-time listener or joining us for the first time, this "greatest hits" summary acts as a masterclass in the Money and Life work we explore every week. We revisit the fundamental concepts that changed the game for our listeners this year—from the three archetypal money movements to the life-changing "detective work" that turns small financial annoyances into profound self-discoveries. We aren't just looking at bank balances; we're looking at how to reclaim your vitality, peace, and power from the numbers. In this New Year special, you will discover: The 3 Money Movements: Are you a "grabber," a "pusher," or "stuck behind guardrails"? The Sock Scandal: Why a simple £7 purchase triggered deep sadness. Kronos vs. Kairos: The secret to finding "bridge moments" of peace that money can't buy. Why trying to "maximize value" in every experience actually robs you of the joy you're paying for. How to identify where you are spiritually "rich" and where you might be relationally "poor," regardless of your net worth. Why 2026 should be the year you start running "money experiments" to break your rigid, heavy patterns. Join us, Shabbar & Tim, as we turn the lessons of 2025 into powerful resolutions for a lighter, more conscious 2026. Explore the impact of Tim Malnick's work and register for his upcoming workshop at: https://timothymalnick.com/ Find out more about Shabbar's services at: https://lumosfinancial.com/ Feel free to comment, ask questions, and connect with them both on Linkedin at:  https://uk.linkedin.com/in/shabbarkassam https://uk.linkedin.com/in/timmalnick

    32 min

About

Shabbar Kassam (Financial Advisor) and Tim Malnick (Organisational Psychologist) explore the complex relationship people have with money. They discuss the psychological aspects of money and how it can block personal growth, reflecting on their own journeys with money and the emotional constraints it can impose. Together, they aim to uncover deeper insights into everyday money conversations and the impact of unconscious biases on one's ability to live a life of freedom.

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