Notes: From Motherhood

Jade Marklew

A real, raw, and honest talk for mums. Hosted by Jade — an accredited mental health social worker and mum — this podcast is a mix of the messy, beautiful, exhausting parts of motherhood no one really warns you about… and the quiet strength it takes to get through it. Each episode shares personal stories and gentle advice — not the picture-perfect kind, but the kind that meets you where you are. Whether you had a smooth birth or a tough one, whether you're feeling lost, proud, angry, grateful (or all of it at once) — this space is for you.

  1. Jul 27

    EP16. Being Heard: Moms Matter Calls, Birth Stories and Signing With Babies — with Suzanne

    Most mums get asked about the baby. Almost no one asks about her. In this episode Jade sits down with Suzanne — a US-based mum of four grown children, doula and a student of NVC — to talk about what happens when a mother is properly listened to. Suzanne walks us through the Mom's Matter calls she runs twice a week: a small, structured Zoom where two mums each get uninterrupted time to speak about anything at all in motherhood, and are then reflected back to, asked about their feelings, asked about their needs, and finally checked in with about what's happening in their body. No advice. No teaching. No fixing. From there the conversation opens out into some of the most useful ideas we've had on the show. Why all feelings are information rather than good or bad, and what that does to mum guilt. The difference between a need and the strategy we're using to try and meet it — and why so much of parenting is that gap. How journalling and speaking out loud do different jobs, and why doing both is not doubling up. Why signing with a baby is as good for a mother's mental health as it is for the baby's language, because naming an emotion with your whole body moves something that naming it in your head doesn't. And then birth. Suzanne has just finished Pam England's Birth Story Medicine training, and she and Jade get into why birth stories get flattened into "it was beautiful" or "it was hard, but we got through it" — and what we lose when we do that. Jade talks about the unspoken rules we write for ourselves as children and then quietly live by for the rest of our lives, and why the most difficult birth still holds moments of strength, and the most beautiful birth still holds moments of fear. If you've ever said "I don't want to be dramatic about it," this one is for you. As always, this podcast does not replace therapy. You can contact Suzanne at suzannedecredico@gmail.com and the links mentioned in this episode are below: Moms Matter calls, and Suzanne's work — Moms-Matter.orgbabychatt.com takes you to Suzanne's Little Hands Talking facebook pageYou can find Suzanne's Doula page at - SuzanneDecredicoDoula.comNonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg) — cnvc.orgDr Yvette Erasmus, whose classes the Mom's Matter listeners all met through, and whose exercise the call format is adapted from — yvetteerasmus.comPam England, Birth Story Medicine — birthstorymedicine.com Molly can be found at - MollyCaroMay.comSigning Time / Baby Signing Time (Rachel Coleman) — signingtime.com and mysigningtime.comMama Inner Circle

  2. Jun 29

    EP15. I Didn't Feel It Straight Away — Bonding, attachment & the myth that love is instant

    Did you feel that instant rush of love the moment your baby was placed on your chest? Jade didn't — and on the surgical table after her emergency c-section, when the nurses offered to lay her daughter on her chest, she said "no, not right now." If you've ever carried that quiet guilt, this episode is for you. This week on Notes From Motherhood, Jade unpacks the myth that bonding is instant and automatic — the worry she hears more than almost any other in her therapy room. You'll hear the difference between bonding and attachment, why a love that grows in slowly is no less real, and how secure attachment is actually built: not in one magical moment, but in a thousand ordinary ones — the 2am feeds, the pick-ups, the days you feel completely checked out. Jade also draws a clear, compassionate line between the normal human moments of anger and overwhelm, and the kind of ongoing harm that actually affects attachment. If no one has told you lately: you're doing better than you think. 🎧 A gentle heads-up: this episode touches on birth trauma and difficult feelings after birth. As always, this podcast isn't a substitute for therapy. A quick note on the science, because mums often ask whether there's a deadline. Attachment isn't a finish line a baby crosses on a particular day — it builds in stages across the first year or two. Babies form a clear, specific attachment to their main caregiver from around 7 months, a phase that runs to roughly 18–24 months. By the end of the first year those patterns are organised enough to actually be measured, which is why the standard attachment assessment, the Strange Situation, is used with babies from around 11 to 20 months. Heidi Healthclinicaltrials But "established" doesn't mean "sealed." Attachment continues developing into the toddler years and beyond, as children come to understand that a caregiver who leaves will return. There's no window that slams shut at birth, at six weeks, or at twelve months — which is exactly why showing up over time, and repairing after the hard moments, matters so much. An early rough patch doesn't decide the outcome. ScienceDirect On delayed bonding being completely normal Postpartum Support International — Mother–Infant Bonding: It's Not Always Instant. Around 1 in 5 mothers experience some difficulty bonding at first. https://postpartum.net/mother-infant-bonding-its-not-always-instant/ Endeavour FoundationOn rupture & repair / the Still Face (Ed Tronick) Tronick & colleagues, Infants' Meaning-Making (peer-reviewed, NIH). In Gianino & Tronick's work, mother–infant mismatches were repaired about 70% of the time at the next step, with new repairs happening every few seconds. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3135310/ ReimagineThe Power of Discord (Tronick & Gold, 2020) — the accessible book version of the rupture-and-repair idea.On the "good enough mother" (Donald Winnicott) Centre for Perinatal Psychology (AU) — The 'Good Enough' Parent. Winnicott described the good-enough mother as one whose adaptation to her baby gradually, and healthily. https://www.centreforperinatalpsychology.com.au/good-enough-parent/ Heidi HealthSeleni Institute — The Gift of the Good Enough Mother — notes that babies actually benefit when mothers fail them in small, manageable ways — as distinct from major failures like abuse or neglect. https://seleni.org/advice-support/2018/3/14/the-gift-of-the-good-enough-mother NswnmaOn the stages of attachment Cleveland Clinic — Attachment Theory (Bowlby's four stages, plainly explained). https://health.clevelandclinic.org/attachment-theory

  3. Jun 4

    EP 14. What We Carry Into the Birth Room & Why it Matters — Emma's Story

    What if the hardest part of giving birth has nothing to do with the birth itself? In this episode, Jade sits down with Emma — a mother of two and small business owner — for a tender, honest conversation about the things we carry into pregnancy, labour and motherhood long before our babies arrive. Emma had two C-sections, four years apart, and two completely different experiences. The difference wasn't medical. It was what she came to understand about herself — and what she finally let herself say out loud. She shares what it was like to go into her first birth with her childhood trauma buried and unspoken, the obstetrician who gently saw through her at her six-week check, and how being honest the second time around changed everything. This is a conversation about what surfaces when we're at our most vulnerable, the quiet power of telling just one trusted person, and how Emma slowly found her way back to herself — not through anything big, but through the smallest, most ordinary moments of joy. In this episode, mama, we talk about: Why mental preparation matters as much as the nursery or the birth planHow our past can resurface in the birth room without warningWhat changes when someone helps you carry the weightBuilding a slower, more intentional life out of the need to stop people-pleasingFinding "her" again, years on — and why it's the little things that bring us homeWhat it's really like to revisit your birth story through journaling 💛 A gentle heads up: this episode includes discussion of childhood trauma and abuse. Please take a moment to check in with yourself before listening, and come back another day if today isn't the right one. As always, Notes From Motherhood is here to walk beside you — it doesn't replace therapy. Want to do some of this reflective work yourself? DM the word JOURNAL to @yourmamajourney.co on Instagram for a free sample of the Embracing Your Birth Journey journals.

  4. Feb 10

    EP9. How to Navigate Transitions in Motherhood

    Welcome to the Mama Inner Circle 'How To' Podcast Series! TODAYS TOPIC - How to navigate transitions in motherhood! You know that feeling when your child starts daycare or school and everyone's asking "how are THEY handling it?"—and meanwhile you're having a full identity crisis in the school car park? When you're supposed to feel excited about finally getting time back, but instead you're crying after drop-off and wondering who you even are when you're not actively mothering someone? Here's what no one tells you: You're not going through a transition. You're going through TWO. In this podcast, we're using the school/daycare transition as our example, but here's the truth—every motherhood milestone works this way. Weaning, going back to work, your baby sleeping through the night, potty training, your youngest starting kindy, your teenager getting their license—every single time your child grows up a little, you're also transforming. This framework applies to all of it. We take what we actually know about child development and attachment theory—which is solid—and combine it with the maternal psychology that gets completely ignored. Because your child's transition is visible and validated. Yours? You're just supposed to quietly disappear into the background and get on with it. What we cover: Why your identity feels like it's dissolving (hello, matrescence—the becoming of a mother that no one warned you about) The neuroscience of why you literally can't think straight right now (it's not failure, it's brain restructuring) Identity excavation—how to bring back the parts of you that went underground during survival mode Why "all-or-nothing" motherhood identity is what's breaking you (research shows mothers who hold multiple roles have lower depression and higher life satisfaction) The confident drop-off strategy that works with your nervous system, not against it (your calm = their safety) What your child is actually asking during separation (spoiler: it's one question, and you already know the answer) How to handle the ambivalence—relief AND grief can be true at the same time The week-by-week plan for YOUR transition (not just theirs) Identity breadcrumbs—the small, consistent actions that rebuild your sense of self faster than any big plan The big reframe: From "I should just be happy they're becoming independent" to "Their growing up doesn't mean I disappear—we're both becoming." This isn't about being a better mother or managing your feelings better. It's about understanding that every time your child hits a milestone, you're renegotiating who you are—and building a plan that actually accounts for both transitions, not just theirs. The tools in this podcast work for whatever stage you're in right now, and whatever transition is coming next.

About

A real, raw, and honest talk for mums. Hosted by Jade — an accredited mental health social worker and mum — this podcast is a mix of the messy, beautiful, exhausting parts of motherhood no one really warns you about… and the quiet strength it takes to get through it. Each episode shares personal stories and gentle advice — not the picture-perfect kind, but the kind that meets you where you are. Whether you had a smooth birth or a tough one, whether you're feeling lost, proud, angry, grateful (or all of it at once) — this space is for you.

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