Midlife with Brooke

Brooke Oniki
  • 5.0 (37)
  • Self-Improvement

Midlife with Brooke – All Things Relationship, Health and Emotional Well-being is the go-to podcast for women of faith navigating the messy, beautiful middle years. With gospel-centered tools, real-life stories, and a whole lot of heart, Brooke helps you strengthen your relationship with God, reconnect with yourself, and love your people better—without losing your mind. If you're ready for more peace, less anxiety, and practical ways to show up with purpose, you’re in the right place.

  1. 4d ago

    The Mother-in-Law Series: When it's Hard

    The Mother-in-Law Series: When It's Hard This is the last episode in my five part series on being a mother-in-law. If you've listened to the other four and felt a wince here or there, this one is for you. Even if things have been hard for a long time, it isn't too late to change. We can't change our daughter-in-law or son-in-law. The only thing we can really work on is ourselves. Here are five places to start. 1. Process your own emotions. Disappointment and hurt don't go away just because we push them aside. Sit with the feeling, journal about it, pray about it. Let yourself actually feel it so it can move through you instead of getting stuck. 2. Revisit the story you're telling yourself. Our brain looks for evidence to prove whatever we already believe. If the story is "we never recovered," our brain will keep finding proof of that. We get to ask if that's still the story we want to tell. 3. Work on emotional regulation. Staying in a regulated nervous system lets us respond with curiosity instead of reacting out of hurt or fear. This is what allows us to stay consistent and warm even when a relationship feels hard. 4. Take an honest look in the mirror. Not to beat ourselves up, but to notice patterns we might not see otherwise. Are we easy to be around? Are we curious about her life? 5. Decide how you want to handle it. Some things we choose to let go of. Some are worth talking through, either directly or with a coach or neutral party first. Either way, check your motives. Are you trying to win, or trying to connect? Mentioned in this episode: Episode 6, "When the Story Hurts, Start With the Facts" Joseph Grenny's quote, Unprocessed emotions don't go away, they go to the basement and lift weights." Announcements: Local class on nervous system regulation, Thursday, September 10th, 7 to 9pm in South Jordan, Utah. $25. You can register at https://buy.stripe.com/5kQeVd7wsfZC4wXdYm2kw0M Retreat in Alta, September 17th through 19th. Brooke is the keynote speaker. $250. Email brooke@brookeoniki.com for details. Share this episode with someone who'd love it, and sign up for my newsletter at brookeoniki.com for more coaching on your relationships with your adult kids, your husband, and yourself.

  2. Aug 10

    Episode 65: Mother-in- law series: Creating New Traditions

    The Mother-in-Law Series: New Traditions Welcome to week four of the Mother-in-Law Series. If you haven't caught the earlier episodes, go back and start with weddings. And if you're new here, one of the women I interviewed said something I keep coming back to: joining a family is like moving to another country. You don't know the customs, the language, or the traditions. So we get to decide, will we be the friendly local, or border control? This week is about new traditions, and why welcoming someone in means more than folding her into the way things have always been done. In this episode: Seeing a daughter-in-law's arrival as a gain instead of a loss, and how that shifts everything elseThe Christmas stocking and matching pajamas story: small effort, huge messageA mother-in-law with only sons who started making Easter bonnets with her daughters-in-lawHolding the purpose of a tradition tightly and the format loosely, including how our Christmas date, our vacations, and even our old scripture study tradition have evolved over the yearsReleasing the ledger: why things don't have to be even, and why scorekeeping adds stress instead of connectionHonoring her family too, including a story about getting to know my son-in-law's family before he and my daughter moved to DCBrookefest, my own tradition of one-on-one time with each of my kids and their spouses, and other ideas for building a relationship that's just between the two of you My question for you this week: what tradition might you need to bend to be more accommodating, and what new one could you start? Next week is the final episode in this series, and it's for anyone whose relationship already feels hard. If that's you, don't miss it. Share this episode with someone who'd love it, and sign up for my newsletter at brookeoniki.com for more coaching on your relationships with your adult kids, your husband, and yourself.

  3. Aug 3

    Episode 64: Mother-in-law Series: Service that Helps

    The Mother-in-Law Series: Service That Actually HelpsMidlife with Brooke, Episode 3 of 5 We are back for week three of the mother-in-law series. We started with weddings, then talked about being the fun aunt instead of another mother. This week is all about service, the kind that actually helps and the kind that (even with the best intentions) can create distance instead of connection. As I was preparing for this episode I interviewed women in their late 20s to early 30s about their mother-in-law relationships, and their stories shaped everything we talk about today. One line has stuck with me through this whole series: joining a new family is like moving to another country. As the mother-in-law we get to decide if we are the friendly local who helps someone acclimate, or border control. In this episodeOne size doesn't fit all. My mom used to come over and immediately start doing dishes and laundry, asking me where everything went, and my anxiety would spike every time. My sisters loved that same instinct in her. Same mom, same desire to serve, completely different reactions. Help is not received as intended. It is received as it is interpreted. Be mindful about your reasons for helping. I share a story about a client whose daughter in law kept a messy house. She would clean every time she visited, only to come back to a mess again. Eventually we realized the real question was not "how do I get her to keep it clean," it was "am I serving her, or am I trying to make her into someone more comfortable for me." Believe them. If she tells you she does not need help in the kitchen, believe her. If your kids ask you to scale back on Christmas gifts, believe them too. I talk about my own tendency to overbuy and why that usually comes from scarcity, not love. Tell the truth back. Believing them goes both directions. I share a recent moment with my son, where being honest about what would actually help me (instead of just saying yes to watching my granddaughter) built more trust, not less. Do some quiet noticing. Filling up a gas tank. Washing the suitcase full of dirty clothes before the grandkids go home. A text that says "you're doing such a great job." These small, unrequested things often land more than the grand gestures. Honor her boundaries, even the ones that do not make sense to you. I tell the story of a friend who babysits her grandkids full time and gets a long list of rules from her daughter. Her response: if you want a daycare provider, hire one, but I am the grandma, and sometimes we are going to have ice cream for breakfast. Boundaries take honesty on both sides, and they take a regulated nervous system to talk through well. A question to sit withWhat is one thing I could quietly notice this month to support my daughter in law? RecapOne size doesn't fit allBe mindful about your reasons for helpingBelieve themBe honest when they ask your true feelingsDo some quiet noticingHonor boundaries and communicate with love Connect with BrookeJoin my newsletter at www.brookeoniki.com/sign-up/

  4. Jul 27

    Episode 63: The Mother-in-Law Series: Becoming the Fun Aunt

    This is week two of a five part series on our relationship with our daughters-in-law. Last week we talked about weddings. If you missed it, you can go back and listen to that one too! This week is about a shift in how we think about our role. One of my daughters told me an idea that really resonated with me. She said a daughter-in-law isn't looking for another mother. She already has one. What she's looking for is more like a fun aunt. Someone who's interested in her, who enjoys her company, who doesn't carry any expectations. I talk about what that actually looks like. What it means to step back from being the expert on our sons, even when we genuinely think our experience could help. I share a story a friend told me about trying to pass on everything she'd learned about her son's struggles to his new wife, and how that landed differently than she expected. We also get into some real, practical ideas. Texts that feel like support instead of pressure. Small gestures that say I see you as your own person. And a few sweet stories from the young women I interviewed. If you want weekly thoughts like this sent straight to your inbox, head to brookeoniki.com and join my newsletter. It's called Real Moms, Real Talk, and I'd love to have you there.

  5. Jul 20

    Episode 62: The Mother-in-Law Series: It Starts at the Wedding

    Welcome to the first episode of my Mother-in-Law Series. In preparation, I interviewed women in their mid 20s to early 30s about their mothers-in-law, and one of them said something profound: joining a new family is like moving to another country. You don't know the customs or the language. So we (as the mothers-in-law) get to decide, will I be a friendly local or border control? In this 5 episode series, we're starting with weddings, because that's often where this relationship begins, and where hurt feelings can begin too. I share my own wedding regret: I tried so hard not to burden my mom that she ended up feeling left out, and it took us years to talk about it. In this episode: Why there's pain on both sides of wedding planning, and why it's usually a communication gap, not a character flawTaking care of your own emotional needs first so you're not easily derailedA client's mid-wedding turnaround, and the question that changed her day: who do I want to be in this relationship?You're not the first family anymore. If you want to work on a marriage, work on the one you're in.Grace from every angle, including for the bride whose brain isn't fully done cooking yetEvery wedding is different: ask, then believe the answers If a past wedding still stings, stick with me. Episode 5 of this series is for you. Free Resources: Visit www.brookeoniki.com and click "Free Resources" for short videos on how to stop spiraling thoughts, how to reconnect after a hard interaction with your child, and how to calm an elevated nervous system. A new Bridges group just started! Learn more about group coaching, or book a consult call to explore private coaching, at www.brookeoniki.com . Click the "Work with Me" tab!

  6. Jul 13

    Episode 61: Good News! Thoughts are Optional!

    Two inmates. The same caseworker. One thinks she's amazing; the other thinks she shouldn't even have a job. So which is it? In this episode, I share stories from my coaching classes at the Utah State Prison that perfectly illustrate one of the most foundational principles in coaching: our thoughts — not our circumstances — create our feelings. The same sentencing, the same caseworker, the same camping trip, the same child, the same bank account can produce completely different emotional experiences depending on the thoughts we choose to have about them. But here's what this episode is not about: rushing to swap your thought for a shinier one. Before we ever change a thought, we need awareness of what our current thoughts are creating for us — in our relationships, our identity, and the meaning we give to our lives. In this episode, you'll learn: Why circumstances (a sentencing, a caseworker, a "difficult" child) are neutral until we have a thought about themThe important caveat: thoughts create feelings in a regulated nervous system — and why we need to calm down before we can access our adult brainWhy "thoughts are optional" doesn't mean lying to yourself or pretending everything is rainbows and daisiesHow our thoughts become self-fulfilling prophecies — like the mom who was grumpy with her "grumpy" daughterHow thoughts confirm our existing beliefs, so our brain only gathers evidence for what we already thinkThe three areas where heavy thoughts do the most damage: our relationships, our identity stories ("it's too late for me to change"), and the meaning we load onto circumstancesWhy sitting with a thought — on paper or in prayer — is where the transformation actually begins Your invitation this week: pick one relationship that isn't going well and ask yourself, "What are my predominant thoughts about this person, and how do those thoughts make me feel? Is that how I want to feel toward them?" Resources mentioned: Free Resources: Visit www.brookeoniki.com and click "Free Resources" for short videos on how to stop spiraling thoughts, how to reconnect after a hard interaction with your child, and how to calm an elevated nervous system. A new Bridges group just started! Learn more about group coaching, or book a consult call to explore private coaching, at www.brookeoniki.com . Click the "Work with Me" tab! Join the Newsletter: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/f7o6w8

  7. Jul 6

    Episode 60: Consider What You're Considering-A Lesson from King Mosiah

    Consider What You're Considering: A Lesson from King Mosiah When King Mosiah's people wanted a new king, he gave them counsel that applies to every decision we make in our families today: "I desire that ye should consider the cause which ye are called to consider" (Mosiah 29:5). In other words — consider what you're considering. In this episode, I share how a family home evening lesson from my dad (and a high school prank gone very wrong) taught my kids this principle, and how it applies to the everyday choices we make in our relationships. Whether it's venting to one family member about another, rescuing our kids from every financial bind, or keeping secrets to "hold the peace," our choices are always creating something — and it's worth asking what. In this episode, you'll learn: The powerful question to ask before any decision: "If I made this same choice 100 times, what would it build?"How to identify what you're really seeking when you want something (validation? relief? an ally? security?)Why choices that feel good in the moment can create patterns that damage our closest relationshipsThe story of how my thought "he's mad at me" was creating resentment in my own marriage — and how I changed itA simple three-part framework for considering what you're considering:Look in — What am I wanting to feel?Look forward — What am I creating?Look outward — Who is this affecting? This tool isn't meant to create guilt or shame — it's meant to build awareness. You can get validation, relief, and connection in ways that don't come at the expense of the people you love. Free Resources: Visit www.brookeoniki.com and click "Free Resources" for short videos on how to stop spiraling thoughts, how to reconnect after a hard interaction with your child, and how to calm an elevated nervous system. Join the Newsletter: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/f7o6w8

  8. Jun 29

    Episode 59: Understanding Gen Z: What Every Parent Needs to Know, A conversation with Maggon Osmond

    What makes Gen Z tick — and why does it feel so hard to connect with them? In this episode, Brooke sits down with Maggon Osmond, owner of Kindness Matters Education, who has spent 20 years working with teens and young adults. Maggon brings a warm, practical perspective to one of the most common struggles her clients face: understanding the generation they're raising. Maggon works with businesses to help them support and retain their Gen Z workforce, and the lessons translate powerfully into family life. Whether your child is 17 or 32, this conversation will help you understand why they see the world so differently — and what you can actually do about it. In this episode, you'll learn: A quick breakdown of each generation and what shaped themWhy COVID-19 fundamentally changed how Gen Z sees rules, systems, and the futureThe 8 core fears Gen Z carries into workplaces — and into your homeWhy constant digital connection amplifies anxiety and makes conflict harder to resolveWhat "building the dock" means and how to create a safe counterculture in your homeThe high love + high expectation framework and why both halves are non-negotiableHow your role shifts when your kids become adults — and what it looks like to be their encourager instead of their managerWhy fear-based parenting masquerades as control, and how to choose faith instead Key quote from this episode: "If we thought of this world as a classroom, not a courtroom, we would do ourselves a lot of good in every aspect of our lives." — Megan Osman Connect with Maggon Osmond: Kindness Matters EDU Join the Newsletter: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/f7o6w8 Learn MoreBook a free session, read the blog, get more free content at: www.brookeoniki.com

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5
out of 5
37 Ratings

About

Midlife with Brooke – All Things Relationship, Health and Emotional Well-being is the go-to podcast for women of faith navigating the messy, beautiful middle years. With gospel-centered tools, real-life stories, and a whole lot of heart, Brooke helps you strengthen your relationship with God, reconnect with yourself, and love your people better—without losing your mind. If you're ready for more peace, less anxiety, and practical ways to show up with purpose, you’re in the right place.

Information

  • Creator
    Brooke Oniki
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    66
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Brooke Oniki
  • Show Website
    Midlife with Brooke

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