What if some of the things we were taught about love and relationships were never actually healthy? “Marriage is hard.” “If they’re jealous, it means they care.” “Love should be unconditional.” “Never go to bed angry.” “People don’t change.” We hear these phrases so often that we rarely stop to question what they actually teach us about love. In this episode of Living in the Aftermath, Lyndsey is joined by Teal Christianson and Ash Hunsaker from The Refuge Utah’s Prevention Team for an honest, relatable conversation about what healthy relationships actually look like—and the relationship myths we may need to unlearn. Together, they talk about the often-confusing space between healthy, unhealthy, and abusive relationships, and why recognizing the difference can be difficult whether you’re a teenager navigating your first relationship or an adult who has been married for years. They dig into boundaries, consent, jealousy, trust, healthy conflict, communication, accountability, emotional safety, and red flags—including why consent doesn’t disappear when a relationship becomes serious or turns into marriage. And this episode is interactive. Grab a piece of paper or your phone and rate yourself as you listen through questions about: BoundariesCommunicationConflictApologies and accountabilityJealousy and trustCan you say no without overexplaining? Can you hear someone else’s boundary without treating it as rejection? Can you disagree without trying to win? Can you apologize without adding a “but”? Can you communicate insecurity without creating rules for someone else? This isn’t a test of whether you’re “good” or “bad” at relationships. These are skills—and skills can be learned, practiced, and strengthened. The conversation also challenges some of the relationship advice many of us grew up hearing and asks an important question: Is this actually love—or have we simply been taught to call it love? Because healthy relationships don’t require you to lose your voice, abandon your boundaries, or sacrifice yourself to prove that you care. Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is unlearn what we were taught. About The Refuge UtahThe Refuge Utah is a nonprofit rape crisis center and domestic violence service provider serving survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking, coercion, control, and lack of consent. Its mission is to empower survivors and increase emotional and physical safety through advocacy, education, and trauma-informed services. The Refuge Utah provides survivor-centered services at no cost and offers prevention education in schools and throughout the community, including education about healthy relationships, safe dating, abuse warning signs, and how to help someone who may be in an unsafe relationship. 24/7 Domestic Violence Helpline: (801) 377-5500 24/7 Sexual Assault Helpline: (801) 356-2511 If you are interested in bringing The Refuge Utah’s Prevention Team to a school, college, youth organization, church group, community organization, parent group, or other gathering, reach out to the Prevention Team at prevention@therefugeutah.org for questions or booking information. *Living in the Aftermath is a podcast about the ways trauma shapes us, the things we learn in survival, and what happens as we begin to rebuild. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional mental health, medical, or legal advice.
