No Utes In The Valet

Elliot Garnaut and Isaac Smith
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What happens when a city-bred celebrity stylist and a country raised four-time AFL premiership hero collide? Chaos, chemistry and cultural carnage. No Utes in the Valet is the fast talking, fashion-meets-footy podcast nobody asked for but everyone will binge. Elliot Garnaut lives in a world of couture, champagne and chauffeur drop-offs. Isaac Smith, premiership powerhouse and Norm Smith medallist, prefers a stubby, a snag, and the back of a Hilux. Think Ab Fab meets The Front Bar, served with a side of sibling-like bickering. Proving true friendship can be found in unlikely places.

  1. 3d ago

    What REALLY Happens at the Logies

    This week, the boys are joined by Lucy for a very special Logies edition, going behind the scenes of Australia’s biggest night of television to reveal what really happens once the cameras stop rolling. Elliot and Lucy have a combined 25 years of Logies experience between them, from dressing celebrities and working the red carpet to managing talent, publicity teams and the chaos happening behind the curtain. From the bizarre reality of sitting through a six-hour awards show, to the secret in-room host, celebrity entrances, red carpet politics and the sheer amount of work that goes into one outfit, this is the Logies like you've never heard them before. We get into: Robert Irwin hosting the Logies at just 22Lucy’s 15 years working behind the scenes of Australian televisionThe biggest celebrity entrances, including One Direction at the height of their fameWho really gets the biggest reaction on the red carpetHow 1,500 celebrities, networks, sponsors and production teams are seatedElliot’s decade of dressing Australia's biggest celebrities for the red carpetWhy a Logies outfit can take six to eight weeks to createThe time Elliot and Bec Harding flew to LA for just 24 hours to find a vintage dressThe infamous dress that came back from the dry cleaner two sizes too smallKarl Stefanovic’s legendary post-Logies appearance on the Today ShowTheir favourite Logies memories from the past 15 yearsWhy the Gold Coast years felt like a "PG footy trip"Why, despite all the chaos, the Logies hold a special place in their heartsWhether you're obsessed with the red carpet, curious about what really happens behind the scenes or simply want some good old-fashioned Australian television gossip, this episode pulls back the curtain on the Logies.

  2. Aug 9

    Ibiza, American Politics & Status Symbols

    This week’s mini ep is a bit of everything, from what we’ve been watching lately to partying in Ibiza, Australian artists taking over Europe, American politics and the status symbols we’ve officially grown out of. We chat about a recent George Clooney film that got us thinking about fame, relationships and the lives we build around success, before getting into the very high-production world of Ibiza residencies (and just how much it costs to get through the door). Plus, we answer a few of your questions: what opinions have changed over the last five years? What would actually surprise you about our day-to-day lives? And which status symbols do we simply not care about anymore? Spoiler: the reality is a lot more desk work, routine and parking small cars than you might expect.

  3. Aug 2

    Kylie Minogue, Hall Passes and Our Brutal Mid-Year Report Card

    Season 2 has already delivered huge guests, viral moments and more chaos than Isaac and Elliot can properly remember, so it is time for the official No Utes in the Valet mid-year report card. This week, the boys are joined by their friend and behind-the-scenes confidante Lucy for an honest assessment of who is having the better year. Isaac is balancing AFL commentary, family life and a wife who wants another child, while Elliot reflects on breaking his leg, learning patience and discovering who genuinely shows up when life forces you to slow down. The conversation quickly moves from personal growth to complete nonsense as they debate the biggest sporting moments of 2026, AFL premiership favourites, disastrous house inspections, celebrity hall passes and the most overrated stars of the year. Elliot names Charlize Theron as his best-dressed celebrity, questions the fashion hype surrounding Zendaya and Law Roach, and gives his verdict on Timothée Chalamet. The group also reveals their celebrity hall passes, discusses the shows apparently improving people’s relationships and hears about Elliot’s new gay book club obsession. They also review the latest AFL fashion collaborations, discuss the upcoming footy finals and reveal their dream guests for the second half of the season, including NFL personalities and one Australian pop icon. The episode finishes with Elliot delivering a passionate, slightly desperate and completely unrequested public invitation for Kylie Minogue to join the podcast. Kylie, the microphones are ready. IN THIS EPISODE Lucy’s nightmare Melbourne house inspectionIsaac and Elliot receive their mid-year gradesWhat Elliot learned after breaking his legIsaac’s growing AFL commentary careerThe sporting moments that defined 2026AFL premiership predictions and Brisbane’s chancesCharlize Theron’s flawless red-carpet yearCelebrity hall passes, including Theo JamesIs Timothée Chalamet overrated?Zendaya, Law Roach and the method-dressing debateThe television shows spicing up relationshipsElliot’s gay book club and Fruit Fly recommendationAFL fashion collaborations worth wearingWardrobe.NYC’s collaboration with H&MDream podcast guests from the AFL and NFLElliot’s desperate pitch to Kylie Minogue Follow No Utes in the Valet for more conversations covering AFL, sport, fashion, celebrity news, pop culture and the wonderfully unlikely friendship between Norm Smith medallist Isaac Smith and celebrity stylist Elliot Garnaut. Subscribe to the podcast and follow the show on social media so you do not miss the next episode. This episode contains coarse language and adult themes.

  4. Jul 19

    Influencers Are Cringe, Footy Is Life and Nadia Might Give Birth

    Nadia Fairfax joins Isaac and Elliot just four days before her due date for a conversation spanning influencer culture, creativity, elite sport, family and her unexpected obsession with rugby league. As one of Australia’s original social media personalities, Nadia reflects on helping build an industry before “influencer” was even a recognised job title. She explains why the word has become almost a slur, what separates meaningful creative work from forgettable sponsored content and why individuality will ultimately survive an oversaturated online landscape. Nadia also opens up about questioning whether she still wants to belong to the industry she helped create, balancing public life with a private family and dealing with the constant arrival of younger and shinier creators. Beyond the polished posts, Nadia explains the strategy, production and intense work ethic behind her career. From consulting on brand launches and designing collaborations to producing large-scale creative campaigns, she sees herself less as an influencer and more as a one-person publishing house. The conversation then moves from fashion to football. Nadia shares what it was like growing up as the daughter of Australian rugby icon Russell Fairfax, her own childhood at the Australian Institute of Sport as an elite gymnast and the lessons that professional sport taught her about discipline, confidence and positive self-talk. She also introduces the all-women NRL tipping competition that has grown from five friends into a fiercely competitive group of Sydney personalities, complete with a major prize pool and marriages apparently strengthened by midweek footy analysis. It is a chaotic, honest and surprisingly heartfelt conversation about creativity, connection and why sport remains one of the few things capable of bringing everyone together. In this episode Has “influencer” become a dirty word?Why individuality matters more than follower countThe difference between creative partnerships and lazy sponsored postsHow influencers can help keep small businesses aliveWhy Nadia sometimes questions whether she still belongs onlineThe work people never see behind social media campaignsHow real-life relationships create career opportunitiesGrowing up with Australian sporting legend Russell FairfaxMoving away from home at nine to train at the AISUsing positive self-talk when confidence disappearsNadia’s women-only NRL tipping competitionWhy women can read sport differentlyThe power of sport to remove social and cultural barriersThe beginnings of the “Hot Girl’s Guide to AFL”

  5. Jul 12

    Would You Buy a Handbag Made From T-Rex?

    On this weeks Mini Ep the boys jump between some of the internet's strangest headlines, nostalgic childhood memories, book recommendations and a quick AFL check-in. In this episode: A luxury fashion house has created a handbag made from T-Rex skin. The boys debate whether a bag worth €300,000–€500,000 is groundbreaking... or just plain ugly.The surprisingly addictive travel game one of the boys swears by (and buys in bulk as gifts), plus a trip down memory lane with childhood classics like Heads Down, Thumbs Up.Why Rudyard Kipling's poem If is still one of the greatest pieces of life advice ever written, and the lines that continue to resonate today.A quick AFL chat covering the impact of the new wildcard finals format, the teams looking strongest this season, and a discussion on Geelong, Sydney, Fremantle and the long road back for St Kilda.As always, it's a mix of sport, culture, recommendations and whatever else comes to mind.

  6. Jul 5

    Harry Styles Is Coming to Melbourne… and Elliot’s Going Off the Roof

    This week on No Utes in the Valet, Isaac Smith and Elliott celebrate one year of questionable texts, uncomfortable challenges and somehow surviving each other’s company. Isaac opens up about confronting fear as a parent, sharing the difficult experience of navigating hearing tests and health concerns for his children, and the lessons elite sport taught him about leaning on your support network when life gets tough. Then, in a sharp change of pace, Elliot recounts his disastrous early-2000s “all-purple diet”, involving cabbage, traffic on Toorak Road and a car ride he will never forget. Later, Marvel Stadium General Manager Scott Fitzgerald joins the boys to unpack the stadium’s huge evolution beyond footy. From Harry Styles, Robbie Williams and Dom Dolla to restaurants, premium dining and the new Marvel Stadium 365 experience, Scott reveals how the venue is becoming one of Melbourne’s biggest entertainment destinations. Plus, Elliot gets the full briefing on Marvel Stadium’s upcoming rooftop climb, including walking 40 metres above the ground, sitting on the scoreboard and the option to abseil down the side of the stadium. In this episode: Isaac and Elliot’s one-year anniversaryParenting, anxiety and facing hard medical testsWhy support networks matter when life gets difficultElliot’s truly terrible purple-food diet storyHarry Styles, Robbie Williams and Marvel Stadium concertsChris Martin, Luke Combs and backstage celebrity encountersMarvel Stadium’s rooftop climb and stadium toursFooty, food, bars and Melbourne’s live-entertainment scene No Utes in the Valet, Marvel Stadium, Scott Fitzgerald, Harry Styles Melbourne, Robbie Williams Melbourne, Dom Dolla, Marvel Stadium rooftop climb, AFL, Melbourne entertainment, Luke Combs, Chris Martin, stadium tour, parenting

  7. Jun 28

    Off Campus Spiced Up Issie's Sex Life

    Off Campus Spiced Up Issie's Sex Life In this weeks mini ep we're catching up on life, diving back into your questions and debriefing the TV show that spiced up Issie's sex life. We also recommend one of our favourite shows right now, share an update on Elliot's recovery from a broken leg, Plus, we answer your questions on: Whether we'd ever go back to music festivalsCan you actually meet someone at the footy... specifically the MCC?And a few more listener dilemmas.

    Off Campus Spiced Up Issie's Sex Life

  8. Jun 21

    The 2026 World Cup Explained for People Who Don’t Watch Soccer

    The FIFA World Cup is here, and No Utes in the Valet is officially getting invested. In this World Cup for Dummies edition, Elliot gives Isaac the crash course every new football fan needs: what the World Cup actually is, why the games matter so much, why a 1–0 scoreline can be more dramatic than a shootout, and how penalty shootouts turn an entire country into a nervous wreck. With the 2026 FIFA World Cup bringing 48 teams, 104 matches and three host countries, Canada, Mexico and the United States, this is the biggest World Cup ever. So whether you are backing the Socceroos, following Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Kylian Mbappé, England, France, Brazil or simply trying to understand why everyone is suddenly waking up at ridiculous hours to watch football, this episode is for you. We get into: • What makes the World Cup the biggest sporting event on the planet • Why football is more than a game: culture, fashion, music, community and chaos • The teams and superstars to watch at the 2026 World Cup • Why goals are rare, and why that makes them even better • How penalty shootouts work • The ultimate Melbourne World Cup watch-party story: beers, wings and dancing on tables at 8am • Why soccer unites people across countries, cultures and generations • A game of World Cup or Made Up, featuring some of football’s most ridiculous real names No Utes in the Valet is not pretending to be your tactical football podcast. This is the World Cup through the lens of pop culture, good stories, ridiculous opinions and two mates figuring it out as they go. New to football? Send us your World Cup questions on Instagram and we might cover them in the next episode. Subscribe, follow and share this episode with the mate who still asks why nobody ever scores. #WorldCup2026 #FIFAWorldCup #Socceroos #FootballForBeginners #SoccerForDummies #CristianoRonaldo #LionelMessi #Mbappe #NoUtesInTheValet

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About

What happens when a city-bred celebrity stylist and a country raised four-time AFL premiership hero collide? Chaos, chemistry and cultural carnage. No Utes in the Valet is the fast talking, fashion-meets-footy podcast nobody asked for but everyone will binge. Elliot Garnaut lives in a world of couture, champagne and chauffeur drop-offs. Isaac Smith, premiership powerhouse and Norm Smith medallist, prefers a stubby, a snag, and the back of a Hilux. Think Ab Fab meets The Front Bar, served with a side of sibling-like bickering. Proving true friendship can be found in unlikely places.

Information

  • Creator
    Elliot Garnaut and Isaac Smith
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    27
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © No Utes In The Valet
  • Show Website
    No Utes In The Valet

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