Love Thy Neighbor: Episode Notes Episode: 51 Hosts: Tom Vann, Colette Fehr, Dan Dennis | Guest: None Sponsors / Ad Reads My Eternal Vitality: Sponsor ad read for MyEternalVitality.com. Segment Rundown Cold open: the apology. Dan nearly flubs the intro, then Tom apologizes to Colette for "ditching" her at a recent comedy show. They describe the familiar party move where you bring a new friend and then drift off with your old friends. The comedy show seating saga. The hosts walk through the night. A table had been reserved through Krista and Miles for Tom, Dan, Colette, Kentucky Steve and Tom's wife. Then they ran into old radio friends, including Jimmy (Jim Colbert, teased for his Tony Soprano linen look) and Jack. The group went in through the VIP entrance, which Tom and Dan both say they didn't want to do, and grew to a party of ten. The two leftover seats ended up away from the main table. Dan offered to sit there alone, but Colette and Steve took them, putting them in what the hosts call the "timeout corner." Steve was happy as long as he had a beer. Colette's take: no drama. Colette says no apology was needed. She quickly read the situation, didn't care, and would have said something if it bothered her. She jokes about being kept off the "cool kids table" and says Dan offering to sit alone was ridiculous. Dan defends that he really did want to sit alone. Host anxiety and event stress. The talk turns to why hosting stresses people out. Tom says he can't enjoy his own parties because he worries whether everyone is having fun, and says his wife is even worse. Dan explains that event season, with long calls with Tracy to cover every detail, weighs on him because he blames himself if anything goes wrong. Colette relates it to her book launch, where worrying about turnout and food took away from her own enjoyment. Colette's advice: letting go. Colette says anxious "worrier" types are often wired this way, but you can move toward more emotional freedom. Her tips: stay conscious of the pattern, remind yourself you can tolerate other people's disappointment, and remember you aren't responsible for everyone. Dan separates unreasonable complaints, like grumbling about lines at a free beer fest, from real dropped balls, like promising gift bags and not delivering. Colette agrees. Running bit: Tom mixing up "consternation" and "constipation." Elizabeth Holmes film: first take. Colette gives her review of the much-talked-about Elizabeth Holmes film from Lance Oppenheim and Nathan Fielder, which the guys also covered on Monday's ACT show. She argues it isn't really a documentary but an artistic think piece. The hosts mention a news report that Oppenheim is facing questions about using other people's footage without permission, and Crespo's recommendation of the film. The premise and Holmes's motive. Colette lays out the setup. Holmes invited the crew in one month after giving birth to her second child and 34 days before reporting to prison, and Fielder lived in the house with the family. Colette sees it as a carefully built rehabilitation effort and a launchpad for "Theranos 2.0," which the film shows. The pitch is that Holmes is a misunderstood, neurodivergent Silicon Valley visionary. The hosts compare it to tech "vaporware" hype. What the movie leaves out. Colette says the film skips the facts. She points viewers to John Carreyrou's book Bad Blood, the earlier HBO documentary, and Hulu's The Dropout. She describes Holmes's habit of dodging questions with word salad and calls it manipulation. She notes that therapists can't diagnose someone who isn't their patient. Then she goes through the documented harm: false pregnancy and cancer results, machines that didn't work, results quietly run on other companies' equipment, and employees who were threatened when they raised concerns. Neurodivergence explained. Tom asks what "neurodivergent" actually means. Colette explains it as a brain that works a little differently, with ADHD and autism spectrum disorder (which now includes what used to be called Asperger's) as examples. She stresses it isn't a negative label. The hosts talk about Holmes's unblinking, intense eye contact. Colette explains why sustained eye contact reads as dominating, and wonders whether Holmes and Fielder are both neurodivergent in some way. Layers of manipulation. Colette calls the movie fascinating and well made. Part of what makes it compelling is watching Fielder get pulled in and come to care about Holmes. Her Insights from the Couch co-host Laura even said she thought they might kiss. Colette sees several layers: the filmmakers shaping the story, Holmes working on Fielder, and the audience being moved by both. She also reads it as a commentary on being watched in the social media age. Trauma vs. accountability. Colette brings up Holmes's account of past trauma and her claims that former partner and co-defendant Sunny Balwani groomed and abused her. Some therapists have responded to those claims with sympathy. Colette says several things can be true at once, but people are still responsible for what they do. She argues that excusing Holmes infantilizes women and notes that Holmes shows no remorse. Tom asks whether we now give people too much grace because we have more detailed labels for conditions. Can someone like this change? Tom asks whether a lifelong manipulator can be rehabilitated. Colette says only if the person wants to change, and doubts Holmes does. She expects investors to back Holmes again. Colette says Holmes is reportedly moving to a halfway house soon and expects a follow-up film. Creative choices in the film. Colette points out things that shape how viewers see Holmes. The film shows a modest beach rental, while Holmes had recently lived in a very expensive home. It shows a drive to Texas for prison, when she reportedly flew private. Colette shares a story from Bad Blood: as a child, Holmes told a relative she wanted to be a billionaire. Colette's view is that Holmes is driven by greatness and power more than money, and wants to be the female Steve Jobs. Side discussion covers Silicon Valley "joining your delusion" and Jobs's approach to his own cancer. Gender and the "girl boss" angle. Tom notes that ruthless ambition in men is often admired. Colette says she champions women in business, but this is about someone harming others regardless of gender. She cites whistleblower Tyler Shultz, who recently warned never to underestimate Holmes. Her advice to viewers: see the movie, but think for themselves and look up the facts. Did Holmes like it? Tom asks how Holmes feels about the film. Colette cites a post-release interview where Fielder said Holmes told him she hadn't seen it yet but trusted him. Colette reads that as Holmes believing she had him where she wanted him. The hosts agree that a hit movie means "mission accomplished" for her. Wrap-up silliness. The episode ends with crude joking about Holmes's looks and "crazy eyes." Tom gets labeled "neurodivergent" by the others before the sign-off. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned Recently: The comedy show night that kicked off the episode. Monday (this week): The guys discussed the Holmes film on the ACT show. Yesterday: Talked with Crespo, who recommended the film. Colette saw Fielder's post-release interview. Now: The Holmes film is in about 2,000 theaters with many sold-out showings, and streaming is expected soon. Soon: Holmes is reportedly being moved to a halfway house. Upcoming: Tom and Dan's event season, with Beerfest mentioned. Ongoing: Sponsor My Eternal Vitality at MyEternalVitality.com. Ongoing: Email the show at hello@lovethyneighborshow.com, including thoughts on the film. Ongoing: Colette's book, The Cost of Quiet, available wherever books are sold. Ongoing: Colette's other podcast, Insights from the Couch. Next week: New episode of Love Thy Neighbor. Notable Guests/Callers None in studio or on the phones: This was a hosts-only episode. Mentioned: Kentucky Steve (sat with Colette at the comedy show), Jimmy (Jim Colbert) and Jack (radio friends), Krista and Miles (handled the table reservation), Tracy (helps Dan with event logistics), Crespo (recommended the film), Laura (Colette's Insights from the Couch co-host), and Tyler Shultz (Theranos whistleblower).
