I Hate You. What's For Dinner?

Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan
  • 5.0 (10)
  • Self-Improvement

On I Hate You. What's For Dinner? we explore whether childhood explains everything. We'll ask our biggest questions about love and hate, rage and fear, and the awesome and mundane that all get smushed together when we're growing up. Tune in to make better sense of childhood, parenthood, and life in general.

  1. 6d ago

    Ep 21 - Centering Actual Humans in Education: Rhiannon Kim on Helping Schools Evolve

    What was your school like? How similar or different is it from how your kids’ school functions now? Like pretty much everything, the way we experienced school as kids –– the systems, the power dynamics, the methods –– informs our expectations when our own kids enter school. But if we never question our internalized templates and whether or not they were harmful to us or others, we can perpetuate models that cause unnecessary hardship or pain. It sucked for us, so why wouldn’t it still suck?  But if we want schools to do better by kids, we have to interrogate “that’s just the way it is.” Today we’re talking with Rhiannon Kim about how to make school systems work better. Rhiannon has been a para educator, interventionist, and Speech Language Pathologist in public schools, and now works with school systems and organizations as an educator and consultant, and has recently published a book about how mindfulness can transform educational systems. We talk about the importance of recognizing the inequitable impacts of focusing on keeping schools nice, neat, and predictable and she shares some tools and ways of thinking to help  expand our options. Listen to the full episode to hear: How so many educational systems are based on tradition and compliance rather than support skill and knowledge developmentWhy it’s so difficult for us to let go of our expectations for what education should be, even when we know betterHow demographic homogeneity and groupthink among educators ends up hurting students, families, and teachersWhy Rhiannon’s work almost always starts with getting educators to acknowledge their feelings and recognize their discomfortHow witnessing radically different teaching modes outside of traditional academic settings helped Rhiannon break the repetition compulsion of her educationHow mindfulness, self-compassion, accountability, and awareness of power dynamics can reshape schools Learn more about Rhiannon Kim: Love at the RootsInstagram: @loveattherootsTransformative Mindfulness in Education: Caring for Ourselves While Kindling Change Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner? Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.: WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychology Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.: Instagram @dr.robert.galligan Resources: Do Early Educators’ Implicit Biases Regarding Sex and Race Relate to Behavior Expectations and Recommendations of Preschool Expulsions and Suspensions? Walter S. Gilliam, PhD; Angela N. Maupin, PhD; Chin R. Reyes, PhD; Maria Accavitti, BS; Frederick Shic, PhD | Yale University Child Study Center, September 28, 2016

  2. Oct 1

    Ep 20 - We’re on A New Planet: Letting Kids Go, Letting Them Grow

    There are many points in the course of our relationships with our kids when the dynamics will shift. That’s how it’s supposed to happen. But as parents, we don’t always realize or own up to the fact that we have relational needs that we’re trying to meet in our relationships with our kids.  So when shifts happen –– smaller ones like a younger kid wanting to spend more time with peers or big ones like a kid going off to college –– we’re not always great at separating how our behavior is serving ourselves and maybe not so much our children. Not that we know anything about those experiences personally. Today, we’re having an off-the-cuff friend hang, talking about our big feelings about our changing relationships with our kids as Gillian’s kiddo gets more interested in friends and Rob’s eldest goes off to college, along with unpacking some of our personal neuroses, perspectives on what’s weird about being an only child, and what can happen when you’re an only child and a highly-sensitive kid. Listen to the full episode to hear: How becoming therapists entrenched some of our only child weirdness, and also forced us to figure out how engage with others and not take everything personallyThe overlaps of being sensitive, only children, feeling like outsiders, and overthinking social interactionsUnpacking the hidden motives behind hyperfocusing on being a “good” parent and getting honest about our relational needs How Gillian is navigating her feelings about wanting one-on-one time with her kiddo as he’s spending more time with friendsWhy attuning to your kids and when they’re ready and able to talk is more important than any influencer’s list of essential conversations Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner? Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.: WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychology Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.: Instagram @dr.robert.galligan Resources: Ep 05 - Connection Is Survival: Parenting for the Loneliness Epidemic with James EllisSexuality Beyond Consent: Risk, Race, Traumatophilia, Avgi SaketopoulouEp 18 - Dad's Performance Review: Teddy Galligan On What Worked And What Didn't

  3. Sep 17

    Ep 19 - Unconditional Love and Identity Theft: Jamie Beth Cohen on Her Dad

    A lot of us end up spending a significant part of our adult lives unpacking our childhoods.  We obviously do a lot of that in therapy, for ourselves and the parents we work with. Some, like our guest, use their creative work as part of processing their past. Today, we’re talking with Rob’s lifelong friend, author Jamie Beth Cohen. In our conversation, we revisit Jamie and Rob’s coming of age on the East Coast in the 80s and 90s, and do some speculating on what it’s like to be a kid these days. We also talk about the complicated work of conceptualizing parents who had both good and really harmful parts and how Jamie has infused her fiction and her essays with the difficult characters of her childhood. Listen to the full episode to hear: How both Jamie and Rob experienced not realizing that elements of their childhoods were not normalHow Jamie’s father’s spending and gambling shaped her relationship with money, work, and being an artistWhy Jamie couldn’t cut ties with her father and how it impacted the behaviors she tolerated in other relationshipsHow writing about her father has brought more understanding, but maybe not more peaceThe stark differences in Jamie’s experience of being a teenaged girl and her daughter’s Learn more about Jamie Beth Cohen: WebsiteInstagram: @wastedpretty Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner? Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.: WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychology Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.: Instagram @dr.robert.galligan Resources: Wasted PrettyWhen the Identity Theft Is Coming from Inside the House - The BillfoldWhen I Realized My Dad Didn't Want To Get Better – KvellerPerspectives: Mourning Without a Road Map - Pittsburgh Magazine

  4. Sep 3

    Ep 18 - Dad's Performance Review: Teddy Galligan on What Worked and What Didn't

    Every parent has moments when they look at their kid and wonder, “Are they gonna be okay when they head out into the world?” In the day to day struggles that come up with school, homework, activities, chores, siblings, we can lose sight of the big picture. Which makes it all the more delightful when you get to have conversations with your kid that make you realize that yeah, they’re going to be fine.  Today’s episode is the result of one of those conversations. We’re joined by Rob’s son, Teddy, who very graciously agreed to record a conversation with his dad and his dad’s friend from grad school who he hasn’t seen since he was seven. We talk about shifting family dynamics as Teddy moves on to college, reflect back on some of the hard times between Rob and Teddy and what was fueling their conflicts, and even get Teddy’s take on new school versus old school parenting.  Listen to the full episode to hear: Teddy and Rob reflect on school years, the interruptions of COVID, and how the cycle of novice to established keeps repeatingThe mindset challenges that drove a lot of Teddy’s conflicts with his dad early in high school, and how he came to recognize the stakes at playWhy Teddy thinks that new school collaborative parenting isn’t always the right answerUnpacking how Teddy’s behavior could bring up jealousy, shame, and helplessness for Rob and how that colored their relationshipWhat Rob and Teddy hope for the future of their relationship Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner? Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.: WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychology Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.: Instagram @dr.robert.galligan

  5. Aug 20

    Ep 17 - Healthy Disappointment: What It Is and Why It Matters

    At its most distilled, disappointment is just noticing a negative difference between what we expected and what actually happened. It’s a moment for recalibrating our expectations and learning from an experience. Of course, we throw a lot of other feelings and experiences into the mix along with that gap, and that’s especially true when expectation and reality involves our kids.  In this episode, we theorize about the purpose of disappointment, how it gets twisted up with how we were parented, and how that in turn affects how we raise our kids. We talk about shame versus disappointment, the paradox of controlling what you can while knowing you have very little control, and how to acknowledge our disappointment while maintaining an open attitude with our kids.   Listen to the full episode to hear: How disappointment often brings up shame, helplessness, anger, and anxiety directed at yourself and your kidThe often tricky relationship between performance and the right to be lovedHow healthy disappointment recognizes the varied factors at play and releases excessive illusions of control over a situationPsychoanalytic and evolutionary perspectives on why we feel disappointmentHow parents can approach disappointment with more curiosity and less projection Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner? Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.: WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychology Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.: Instagram @dr.robert.galligan Resources: The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self, Alice MillerEp 06 - Trickle Up!: Ron Williams On Purpose, Legacy, And Spreading Abundance

  6. Aug 6

    Ep 16 - Healing in Real Time: Lucy Bichsel on Bringing Parents Into the Room

    There are deep biases embedded in the literature and therapist training for how therapy is supposed to be done. Some of those norms have evolved and some of the rules still feel very rigid.  Old school rules say that an adult who is working on issues from their childhood might talk about their mother every week for five years, but a therapist would never suggest the client bring their mom to a session. But if both the adult child and parent are willing, why couldn’t we do things differently? Today we’re talking with clinical psychologist Lucy Bichsel, who has been doing some unorthodox and very interesting work in her practice to help people make sense of some of their longest-held wounds. We dive into how Lucy expands the frame of individual adult therapy to allow parents and other important people into the room, potential pitfalls and opportunities for profound healing, and –– for anybody struggling with their relationship with a parent –– some of the patterns and dynamics we see pop up again and again for our clients.  Listen to the full episode to hear: How bringing an adult child and parent together shifts the enactment that happens between therapist and client to the original relationshipWhat Lucy learned the hard way about her role as a secure base for both her individual patient and their family member Why becoming a parent is often a catalyst for people to rethink their relationships with their parents Why reinterpreting the past isn’t necessarily the goal and how responsiveness in the here and now creates healingHow Lucy approaches working with families when intentions are good but defenses are highHow generational differences and caretaking for aging parents can create friction in child-parent relationships Learn more about Lucy Bichsel PhD: Website Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner? Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.: WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychology Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.: Instagram @dr.robert.galligan Resources: Calling Dad - SNLCarl Rogers

  7. Jul 16

    Ep 15 - Grief, Relief, and Time to Reflect: The Gift of Endings

    June is a time of transition for a lot of families. The end of the school year, graduations from one phase of schooling to the next –– endings and beginnings have a way of surfacing the feels. And no one likes to process endings more than psychoanalysts. So as we’re at the end of the school year, and Rob has a child who just graduated high school — how?! –– we decided to spend some time today talking about endings. Rob shares some wisdom from his son’s head of school, Gillian talks about navigating change for kids and adults in a household, and we break down how the John Denver/Peter, Paul, & Mary classic “Leaving on a Jet Plane” encapsulates the vulnerabilities and fantasies of saying goodbye. Listen to the full episode to hear: The way so much of parenting becomes maintenance and banality, interspersed with moments of magicHow the wider community begins to play a bigger developmental role in the transition from little kid to big kidNavigating adult transitional phases and relationships alongside your kiddos growingHow “Leaving on a Jet Plane” taps into the grief, love, and vulnerability of goodbyes of all kindsHow a child leaving the nest changes the center of gravity for the rest of the familyThe relatively unsung genius of 38 Special Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner? Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.: WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychology Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.: Instagram @dr.robert.galligan Resources: Ep 03 - “I’m Doing The Song!” Ash Diggs On Cat’s In The Cradle, Comedy, And FamilyEp 08 - Keeping It Authentic (And Surprising): Dr. Matt Morrison On Raising Kids And TherapistsHarry Stack SullivanLeaving on a Jet Plane - Peter, Paul, & MaryEp 09 - Fear, Resistance, And Flow: Paula Tursi On Letting Parenting HappenHold On Loosely - 38 SpecialEp 11 - Toward What Matters: Sarah Markowitz On CBT, Values, And Choice

  8. Jul 2

    Ep 14 - The Suicide Shroud: Dr. Alexis Tomarken on Silence, Blame, and Survival

    In our society, we’re not good at openly talking about death. We’re even worse at speaking openly about death by suicide.  The silence that so often accompanies suicide–what our guest calls “the shroud of suicide”–creates additional burdens for surviving family members, especially women who survive their spouses. The expectation to shield others from the full weight of the death, to even erase the facts of the experience, is an enormous pressure that has long-term consequences across generations. Today, we’re in conversation with our former classmate, Dr. Alexis Tomarken, talk about two of her papers that discuss intergenerational trauma and the heavy burden of our collective discomfort with suicide. Alexis movingly weaves together psychoanalytic theory, her work as a therapist, and personal experience to show that putting words to life’s most difficult experiences is not only vital to personal integration, but impacts future generations as well. Listen to the full episode to hear: How our society treats suicide as crime, blames surviving women, and actually increases riskWhy open discussion and processing is more effective at the prevention of “suicide contagion” than hiding from itWhy the goal, especially for a surviving parent, is to keep the door open to communication with children, not to seek resolutionHow therapists’ and clients’ lived experiences inevitably interact, even without therapist disclosureHow the blame and shame placed on women survivors is emblematic of gendered expectations of healing and caretaking Learn more about Dr. Alexis Tomarken: WebsiteConnect on LinkedIn Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner? Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.: WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychology Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.: Instagram @dr.robert.galligan Resources: Can You Hear Me? Errands and Repair in the Analytic IdentityThe Shroud of Suicide:  Misogyny, Abjection, and Transgenerational TraumaA Last-Minute Breakthrough, Muriel Dimen | The New York TimesThe Argonauts, Maggie NelsonDr. Dan SiegelJane Tillman, PhD, ABPPHow It Feels When a Parent Dies, Jill KrementzThomas Ogden

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About

On I Hate You. What's For Dinner? we explore whether childhood explains everything. We'll ask our biggest questions about love and hate, rage and fear, and the awesome and mundane that all get smushed together when we're growing up. Tune in to make better sense of childhood, parenthood, and life in general.

Information

  • Creator
    Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    22
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan

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