You, Me and the Family Tree - A Family Constellation Podcast

Iris Shaham
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In You, Me and the Family Tree, I sit down with special guests to explore life through the lens of Family Constellations. Together, we look at how our ancestors and families shape our lives, and through honest, heartfelt conversations about belonging, we explore what moves beneath the surface of the family field. © 2025 You, Me, and the Family Tree. All rights reserved. Iris Contact Website: https://www.irisconstellations.com/

  1. 6d ago

    Everything Is Alive — A Conversation on Shamanism with Shavasti

    Everything Is Alive — A Conversation on Shamanism with Shavasti What is shamanism? In this conversation, Shavasti and I explore shamanism and the many experiences that have shaped Shavasti's understanding of it. Growing up between cultures and languages, Shavasti has spent decades exploring ancestral wisdom, indigenous traditions, and the ways different cultures understand our relationship with the living world. As our conversation unfolds, he shares his understanding of shamanism—not primarily as a set of practices, but as a way of seeing the world, where everything is alive and everything exists in relationship. One idea that especially stayed with me was Shavasti's invitation to see ourselves not as separate from the world around us, but as part of a living web of relationships—with people, animals, plants, places, and the land itself. In this conversation, we explore: • What shamanism means from Shavasti's perspective• Living between cultures and how it shaped his worldview• History, ancestry, and the stories that continue to live through us• The relationship between shamanism and Family Constellations• Seeing the natural world as alive and in relationship• How this perspective influences the way we meet clients and life I hope you enjoy the conversation. Warmly, Iris About Shavasti Shavasti (John L. Payne) is an international teacher, author, and Family Constellations facilitator. He is the author of The Language of the Soul and The Healing of Individuals, Families and Nations. For more than three decades, he has taught and facilitated workshops around the world, integrating Family Constellations, ancestral wisdom, and his exploration of shamanism into his work. Connect with Shavasti Website: https://www.shavasti.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shavasti Connect with Iris Website: https://www.irisconstellations.com Email: iris@irisconstellations.com Thank you for listening. © 2026 You, Me & the Family Tree. All rights reserved.

  2. Jul 15

    Meeting Unexpected Death - A Family Constellation Perspective with Suzi Tucker

    Episode 20: Meeting Unexpected Death — A Family Constellation Perspective with Suzi Tucker How do we meet death when it arrives unexpectedly? This conversation was inspired by the recent loss of my dear friend, a beloved member of my community, whose life, wisdom, and presence continue to touch many people. In this conversation, Suzi Tucker and I explore grief, loss, and the questions that emerge when someone we love dies sooner than we imagined. Drawing from a Family Constellation perspective, we talk about the shock of loss, the future we imagined with those we love, the role of ancestors, and the ways people continue to influence us even after they are gone. An idea that stayed with me after our conversation ended is that those who die move from standing in front of us as teachers and guides to standing behind us as part of our life force. Together we explore: • Unexpected death and the shock of loss• The space grief needs• Ancestors, life force, and legacy• Losing someone recently versus carrying a loss from many years ago• How death can awaken us to what truly matters• "I Will Show You the World" — continuing on while carrying those we have lost Whether you are grieving someone you love, supporting others through loss, or reflecting on your own relationship with life and death, I hope this conversation offers companionship, perspective, and reflection. Warmly, Iris

  3. Jun 30

    Please Just Hold Me - A Conversation on Family Constellations and Healing with Shavasti

    Episode 19: Please Just Hold Me — A Conversation on Family Constellations and Healing with Shavasti What do clients really want? Beneath the stories, symptoms, and questions people bring to a session, is there a deeper longing? In this conversation, Shavasti shares his view that beneath many of the concerns clients bring lives a deeper request: "Please just hold me." Together we explore what it means to be held—not fixed or changed, but deeply met in our humanity. We talk about healing sentences, love as an invitation, the role of the facilitator, and what becomes possible when we no longer have to hold everything alone. Two powerful images stayed with me long after our conversation ended: being held and falling on the sword of truth—allowing life as it is to touch and open the heart. I hope you enjoy the conversation. © 2026 You, Me & the Family Tree Podcast. All rights reserved.

  4. Jun 17

    Episode 18: Working with Large Groups in Family Constellation Work — with Bertold Ulsamer

    Episode 18: Working with Large Groups in Family Constellation Work — with Bertold Ulsamer What changes when we move from working with individuals or small groups to facilitating a room full of people? In this conversation, Bertold Ulsamer shares reflections and practical wisdom from decades of facilitating Family Constellations in groups ranging from intimate circles to audiences of hundreds and even thousands. Together, we explore: • Preparing yourself before entering a large group• Working with nervousness and performance anxiety• Creating connection and engagement in larger groups• Working with difficult participants and strong group dynamics• The role of silence and spaciousness in facilitation• Respecting your own limits as a facilitator• The difference between seeking approval and serving the work• Why large groups may awaken old dynamics around attention, being seen, and our relationship with the mother One idea I especially appreciated was Bertold's suggestion that what we need as facilitators can be offered to the group. If we need a moment to slow down, reconnect, or breathe, inviting the group into that experience can create connection for everyone. Whether you facilitate Family Constellations, teach, coach, lead workshops, or simply find yourself speaking in front of groups, I hope you'll find something valuable in this conversation. Website: irisconstellations.comEmail: Iris@irisconstellations.com © 2026 You, Me & the Family Tree Podcast. All rights reserved.

  5. Jun 3

    Adolescence — Standing Behind Our Children as They Grow with Suzi Tucker

    Episode 17: Adolescence — Standing Behind Our Children as They Growwith Suzi Tucker What does it mean to support our children without holding them back? In this conversation, Suzi Tucker and I explore adolescence as a bridge between childhood and adulthood—a time of experimentation, uncertainty, belonging, and becoming. We talk about growth as a messy and often "sloppy" process, the challenge of allowing our children to discover their own strengths and capacities, the search for belonging, and why we don't need to fully understand our adolescents in order to love them. As a mother of three teenagers, I really appreciate this conversation. Not easy to apply, but who said life is easy. I especially value the reminder that we don't need to fully understand our children in order to love them, trust them, and stand behind them as they grow. Connect with Suzi Tucker:www.suzitucker.com Connect with Iris Shaham:www.irisconstellations.com © 2026 You, Me & the Family Tree. All rights reserved.

  6. May 20

    Menopause - A Movement Toward Freedom with Suzi Tucker

    Episode 16: Menopause — A Movement Toward Freedomwith Suzi Tucker Menopause is a subject very close to my heart.As a woman in my fifties, I find myself living the questions that menopause brings—through the body, emotions, relationships, identity, and the changing sense of self that can emerge during this stage of life. In this conversation, I’m joined again by the wonderful Suzi Tucker—an international Family Constellations teacher, writer, and public speaker . Together, we explore menopause, a change in life. We speak about:– Menopause as a threshold and a “change of life”– Aging, visibility, beauty, and the female body– Symptoms, hot flashes, mood changes, and the nervous system– Freedom, creativity, and contribution later in life– The idea of “befriending” our symptoms rather than fighting them– Lineage and generations in Family Constellations work Toward the end of the conversation, I ask Suzi:What is a good sentence for a woman in this stage of life to say to herself while looking in the mirror? Her answer:“I am grateful that I am here.” Connect with Suzi Tucker:https://www.suzitucker.com Connect with Iris Shaham:https://www.irisconstellations.com © 2026 You, Me & the Family Tree. All rights reserved.

  7. May 6

    Sitting by the River — On Time and Timing with Suzi Tucker

    Episode 15: Sitting by the River — On Time and Timing with Suzi Tucker To be in accord with time—what does it mean? In this spacious conversation with Suzi Tucker—a teacher, writer, and long-time voice in the field of Family Constellations—we explore the concept of time and timing. We speak about: – The feeling of not enough time vs. the possibility of plenty – Letting time hold us, instead of trying to hold it – Timing as attunement—especially in working with others – The importance, in constellation work, of establishing with the client a sense that we have all the time in the world Synchronicity also comes in— a quiet mystery I don’t fully understand, but trust. What is your relationship with time? Do you feel in accord with it— or is there not enough… or maybe plenty? Connect with Suzi Tucker: https://www.suzitucker.com Connect with Iris Shaham: https://www.irisconstellations.com © 2025 You, Me & the Family Tree. All rights reserved.

  8. Apr 22

    Supervision in Constellation Work with Bill Mannle

    Episode 14: Supervision in Constellation Work — with Bill Mannle What happens when, as facilitators, we don’t know what to do? In this conversation, I’m sitting with Bill Mannle—a psychotherapist and international Family Constellations facilitator who integrates Gestalt, Family Constellations, and attachment theory in his work. We explore supervision—not as correction, but as a place where the facilitator is held. Bill shares how he came into constellation work, who he learned from, and how his path unfolded. We speak about what supervision means to him, how he offers it, and what he listens for. We also touch on the language of the body, and how much can be seen when we learn to pay attention. For me, this is a really important topic. Unlike other methods where supervision is required, here we choose it—and I believe it is crucial. We speak about:– Not knowing– The inner world of the facilitator– Blind spots– Doing our own work A question I’m still sitting with:What is it that we are really asking for when we come to supervision? You, Me & the Family Tree — A Family Constellation Podcast by Iris Shaham To join a group or work with me:iris@irisconstellations.com Connect with Bill Mannle:https://www.billmannle.com © 2026 You, Me & the Family Tree. All rights reserved.

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About

In You, Me and the Family Tree, I sit down with special guests to explore life through the lens of Family Constellations. Together, we look at how our ancestors and families shape our lives, and through honest, heartfelt conversations about belonging, we explore what moves beneath the surface of the family field. © 2025 You, Me, and the Family Tree. All rights reserved. Iris Contact Website: https://www.irisconstellations.com/

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