You, Me and the Family Tree - A Family Constellation Podcast

Iris Shaham
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In You, Me and the Family Tree, I sit down with special guests to explore life through the lens of Family Constellations. Together, we look at how our ancestors and families shape our lives, and through honest, heartfelt conversations about belonging, we explore what moves beneath the surface of the family field. © 2025 You, Me, and the Family Tree. All rights reserved. Iris Contact Website: https://www.irisconstellations.com/

  1. 6d ago

    Please Just Hold Me - A Conversation on Family Constellations and Healing with Shavasti

    Episode 19: Please Just Hold Me — A Conversation on Family Constellations and Healing with Shavasti What do clients really want? Beneath the stories, symptoms, and questions people bring to a session, is there a deeper longing? In this conversation, Shavasti shares his view that beneath many of the concerns clients bring lives a deeper request: "Please just hold me." Together we explore what it means to be held—not fixed or changed, but deeply met in our humanity. We talk about healing sentences, love as an invitation, the role of the facilitator, and what becomes possible when we no longer have to hold everything alone. Two powerful images stayed with me long after our conversation ended: being held and falling on the sword of truth—allowing life as it is to touch and open the heart. I hope you enjoy the conversation. © 2026 You, Me & the Family Tree Podcast. All rights reserved.

    49 min

  2. Jun 17

    Episode 18: Working with Large Groups in Family Constellation Work — with Bertold Ulsamer

    Episode 18: Working with Large Groups in Family Constellation Work — with Bertold Ulsamer What changes when we move from working with individuals or small groups to facilitating a room full of people? In this conversation, Bertold Ulsamer shares reflections and practical wisdom from decades of facilitating Family Constellations in groups ranging from intimate circles to audiences of hundreds and even thousands. Together, we explore: • Preparing yourself before entering a large group• Working with nervousness and performance anxiety• Creating connection and engagement in larger groups• Working with difficult participants and strong group dynamics• The role of silence and spaciousness in facilitation• Respecting your own limits as a facilitator• The difference between seeking approval and serving the work• Why large groups may awaken old dynamics around attention, being seen, and our relationship with the mother One idea I especially appreciated was Bertold's suggestion that what we need as facilitators can be offered to the group. If we need a moment to slow down, reconnect, or breathe, inviting the group into that experience can create connection for everyone. Whether you facilitate Family Constellations, teach, coach, lead workshops, or simply find yourself speaking in front of groups, I hope you'll find something valuable in this conversation. Website: irisconstellations.comEmail: Iris@irisconstellations.com © 2026 You, Me & the Family Tree Podcast. All rights reserved.

    35 min

  3. Jun 3

    Adolescence — Standing Behind Our Children as They Grow with Suzi Tucker

    Episode 17: Adolescence — Standing Behind Our Children as They Growwith Suzi Tucker What does it mean to support our children without holding them back? In this conversation, Suzi Tucker and I explore adolescence as a bridge between childhood and adulthood—a time of experimentation, uncertainty, belonging, and becoming. We talk about growth as a messy and often "sloppy" process, the challenge of allowing our children to discover their own strengths and capacities, the search for belonging, and why we don't need to fully understand our adolescents in order to love them. As a mother of three teenagers, I really appreciate this conversation. Not easy to apply, but who said life is easy. I especially value the reminder that we don't need to fully understand our children in order to love them, trust them, and stand behind them as they grow. Connect with Suzi Tucker:www.suzitucker.com Connect with Iris Shaham:www.irisconstellations.com © 2026 You, Me & the Family Tree. All rights reserved.

    50 min

  4. May 20

    Menopause - A Movement Toward Freedom with Suzi Tucker

    Episode 16: Menopause — A Movement Toward Freedomwith Suzi Tucker Menopause is a subject very close to my heart.As a woman in my fifties, I find myself living the questions that menopause brings—through the body, emotions, relationships, identity, and the changing sense of self that can emerge during this stage of life. In this conversation, I’m joined again by the wonderful Suzi Tucker—an international Family Constellations teacher, writer, and public speaker . Together, we explore menopause, a change in life. We speak about:– Menopause as a threshold and a “change of life”– Aging, visibility, beauty, and the female body– Symptoms, hot flashes, mood changes, and the nervous system– Freedom, creativity, and contribution later in life– The idea of “befriending” our symptoms rather than fighting them– Lineage and generations in Family Constellations work Toward the end of the conversation, I ask Suzi:What is a good sentence for a woman in this stage of life to say to herself while looking in the mirror? Her answer:“I am grateful that I am here.” Connect with Suzi Tucker:https://www.suzitucker.com Connect with Iris Shaham:https://www.irisconstellations.com © 2026 You, Me & the Family Tree. All rights reserved.

    46 min

  5. May 6

    Sitting by the River — On Time and Timing with Suzi Tucker

    Episode 15: Sitting by the River — On Time and Timing with Suzi Tucker To be in accord with time—what does it mean? In this spacious conversation with Suzi Tucker—a teacher, writer, and long-time voice in the field of Family Constellations—we explore the concept of time and timing. We speak about: – The feeling of not enough time vs. the possibility of plenty – Letting time hold us, instead of trying to hold it – Timing as attunement—especially in working with others – The importance, in constellation work, of establishing with the client a sense that we have all the time in the world Synchronicity also comes in— a quiet mystery I don’t fully understand, but trust. What is your relationship with time? Do you feel in accord with it— or is there not enough… or maybe plenty? Connect with Suzi Tucker: https://www.suzitucker.com Connect with Iris Shaham: https://www.irisconstellations.com © 2025 You, Me & the Family Tree. All rights reserved.

    51 min

  6. Apr 22

    Supervision in Constellation Work with Bill Mannle

    Episode 14: Supervision in Constellation Work — with Bill Mannle What happens when, as facilitators, we don’t know what to do? In this conversation, I’m sitting with Bill Mannle—a psychotherapist and international Family Constellations facilitator who integrates Gestalt, Family Constellations, and attachment theory in his work. We explore supervision—not as correction, but as a place where the facilitator is held. Bill shares how he came into constellation work, who he learned from, and how his path unfolded. We speak about what supervision means to him, how he offers it, and what he listens for. We also touch on the language of the body, and how much can be seen when we learn to pay attention. For me, this is a really important topic. Unlike other methods where supervision is required, here we choose it—and I believe it is crucial. We speak about:– Not knowing– The inner world of the facilitator– Blind spots– Doing our own work A question I’m still sitting with:What is it that we are really asking for when we come to supervision? You, Me & the Family Tree — A Family Constellation Podcast by Iris Shaham To join a group or work with me:iris@irisconstellations.com Connect with Bill Mannle:https://www.billmannle.com © 2026 You, Me & the Family Tree. All rights reserved.

    49 min

  7. Apr 8

    Rituals in Family Constellations with Bill Mannle

    Episode 13: Rituals in Family Constellations with Bill Mannle What is a ritual—and when does it actually help in Family Constellation work? In this conversation, I’m joined by Bill Mannle. Bill is a psychotherapist and international Family Constellations facilitator. He integrates Gestalt, attachment theory, and systemic work in a grounded and experiential way. We begin with a simple question—what is a ritual?—and from there, something deeper unfolds. We speak about the difference between ritual and habit, how rituals help settle the body and bring people into the room, and why they can be especially supportive when working with trauma. We also explore the role of structure—beginning, middle, and end—and how this can create safety, while keeping the client in charge of their own process. Bill shares examples from his work, including the interrupted reaching movement, a “coming home” process with the younger self, and how he approaches work when there is deep trauma. This is a grounded conversation about presence, discernment, and the subtle ways we support what unfolds. I’m curious what you notice as you listen. Connect with Bill Mannle:https://www.billmannle.com Connect with Iris Shaham:https://www.irisconstellations.com © 2025 You, Me & the Family Tree. All rights reserved.

    44 min

  8. Mar 25

    The Art of Evocative Questions with Suzi Tucker

    Episode 12: The Art of Evocative Questions with Suzi Tucker What if a question is not meant to give an answer—but to open a door? In this conversation with Suzi Tucker, we explore the art of evocative questions and the power of a good question. Suzi is a teacher, writer, and long-time voice in the field of Family Constellations, and she shares how she approaches her work as a collaboration, where the client is the guide. We speak about listening, timing, and what it means to ask from what is already present rather than from assumption or interpretation. We also touch on some of the unique questions Suzi brings into her work, like: Who sits with you at the kitchen table?, one word for your mother or father, and how old are you?—questions that don’t push for answers, but open something. Toward the end, we bring this into everyday life —how we ask our children about their day, and what helps a real connection happen. After our conversation, Suzi shared this quote from her upcoming book, Take Every Step: A Work in Progress (coming this summer), which feels very connected to what we explore here: “In the universe,there are things that are known,and things that are unknown,and in between there are doors.”— William Blake Connect with Suzi Tucker:https://www.suzitucker.com Connect with Iris Shaham:https://www.irisconstellations.com © 2025 You, Me & the Family Tree. All rights reserved.This content may not be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted without permission.

    51 min
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About

In You, Me and the Family Tree, I sit down with special guests to explore life through the lens of Family Constellations. Together, we look at how our ancestors and families shape our lives, and through honest, heartfelt conversations about belonging, we explore what moves beneath the surface of the family field. © 2025 You, Me, and the Family Tree. All rights reserved. Iris Contact Website: https://www.irisconstellations.com/

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