Unfertile & Unfiltered

Sidney Hales Davis
  • 4.6 (9)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Weekly

A raw, honest podcast about male factor infertility, azoospermia, and the realities no one prepares you for. We share our journey through diagnosis, grief, marriage strain, and the difficult decisions around sperm donors and donor conception. This is the real, unfiltered side of infertility — for anyone navigating male infertility and trying to feel less alone.

  1. 4d ago

    Episode 18: MicroTESE Recovery, Low Testosterone & Fertility Treatment Updates

    In this episode, we give an update on where we’re at in our infertility journey, including Matt’s post-microTESE recovery, testing for low testosterone, and additional genetic testing for male factor infertility. We also talk through our first IVM study appointment, the frustration of fertility timelines, preparing for egg retrieval, and some of the lifestyle changes we’re making while trying to improve overall health and egg quality before treatment. We also get into the emotional side of using a sperm donor, what that process has looked like over time, and how infertility continues to impact different parts of life and relationships as things move forward.

    32 min

  2. May 12

    Ep 17 - Reading the Journal Entries From Our Infertility Diagnosis

    In this episode, we talk through Mother’s Day, the unexpected emotions that came with it, and what happened after reading back through old journal entries from the beginning of our infertility journey. We go back to the first few months of trying to conceive — the excitement, assumptions, optimism, and the gradual shift into confusion, testing, diagnosis, and grief after finding out we were dealing with severe male factor infertility and non-obstructive azoospermia. The episode covers: The emotional shift from trying to prevent pregnancy to trying desperately to conceiveReading journal entries from the beginning of the processThe emotional impact of failed cycles, testing, and the microTESE surgeryMother’s Day while navigating infertilityThe pressure of hope, faith, and expectations during infertilityProcessing grief differently as a husband and wifeLooking back at how quickly life changed over a few months

    27 min

  3. May 11

    Ep 16 Breaking Down "Three Makes Baby": What We Learned About Building a Donor-Concieved Family (Updated Podcast)

    In this episode, we’re breaking down the book Three Makes Baby: How to Parent Your Donor-Conceived Child by Jana M. Rupnow and sharing our honest thoughts after reading it. If you’re navigating male factor infertility, azoospermia, or considering building a family through donor conception, this book is one of the most comprehensive resources we’ve come across. It focuses less on the medical side and more on the emotional, psychological, and identity aspects of raising a donor-conceived child. In this episode, we walk through what the book actually covers, including: The emotional weight of infertility and how to process it as a parentWhether or not to tell your child they are donor-conceived—and why openness is now widely recommendedCommon fears like feeling like a “real” parent, bonding concerns, and fear of rejectionSocial stigma, family dynamics, and how to handle difficult conversationsHow to choose a sperm donor (anonymous vs. open ID, identity considerations, future contact)When and how to talk to your child about their story—from early childhood through teenage yearsHow to navigate identity, half-siblings, and the possibility of meeting a donorAnd one of the biggest takeaways: how to hold both grief and gratitude at the same timeWe also share our personal reactions to the exercises in the book—especially the ones that helped us uncover emotions we didn’t even realize we were feeling. If you’re at the beginning of your donor conception journey or trying to understand what it really looks like to raise a donor-conceived family, this episode gives you a straightforward, unfiltered overview of what this book teaches and why it might be worth reading. For reference, this is a breakdown of what the chapters cover: Introduction: An Emotional Decision Chapter 1: Are You Ready to Tell? Explore Your ReasonsChapter 2: Why Tell? Get ComfortableExperts Say DiscloseTelling Is HealthySecrets Aren’t the Best ProtectionChapter 3: How to adddress the most common concerns about donor conception? Concern #1 Emotional Distress: What If My Child Is Upset?Complicated GriefDistinguish Your Feelings from Your Child’sConcern #2: Parental Legitimacy Parent-Child AttachmentBroken BondsConcern #3 Social Differences Social StrainSocial StrategyPrivacy vs. SecrecyConfronting ShameEmbracing DifferencesConcern #4 Family/Cultural Differences Acclimating to New FamilyChapter 4: Choosing a Donor Connecting to Your Donor Donor Profile Selection Process Anonymity Not Guaranteed The internet is a resourceSocial media influence Donor Regulation Self-Report Psychological Testing Known Donation Preparing for known donation Embryo Adoption vs. Embryo Donation Future Contact Potential Genetic WonderEpigenetic Influences Chapter 5: when and how to talk about it When Is the Right Time to Tell?Talking over the Years—Make It Your StoryShifting from your story to your child's Baby years Preschool years Middle-childhood years Teenage years - Finding Identity and Meaning How to talk about half siblings how to talk about griefFive Ways to Handle Social Situations: The Five Ds Chapter 6 - Finding treasure Book link: Three Makes Baby

    36 min

  4. Apr 29

    Ep 15. Updating on Our Free IVM Gameto Study

    In this episode, we break down the Gameto study and what it shows about IVM outcomes, timelines, and expectations—especially in the context of male factor infertility. We walk through the IVM process from start to finish, including testing, retrieval, fertilization, and transfer, along with where people tend to run into challenges and delays. We also talk through common concerns around using donor sperm, including how donor selection works through platforms like Seed Scout, what kind of information is available, and how people approach those decisions. Disclaimer: After recording this, I realized the study we are doing is different than the Grace IVF study that I mentioned in the podcast. Either way, below are both links to more information on the studies: Grace IVF Utah Gameto Study (this is the one we're doing)

    33 min

  5. Apr 20

    Ep 14 Are Plastics Affecting Male Fertility? What the Research Actually Shows

    In this episode, we break down the growing concern around plastics, BPA exposure, and how microplastics may be impacting fertility—especially sperm count and hormone balance. We recap a recent plastic detox study and talk through what actually changed for the couples involved, including measurable improvements in sperm health and multiple pregnancies following lifestyle changes. We also share where we’re at in our own infertility journey—deciding between IVF vs IUI, the cost with having to do donor sperm due to Matt's male factor infertility and emotional tradeoffs, and what it looks like to be stuck in the waiting phase.

    29 min

  6. Apr 13

    Ep. 13 How Regulated Is Sperm Donation, Really?

    In this episode of Unfertile and Unfiltered, we dive into sperm donor regulations in the United States and what actually exists versus what people assume exists. After watching documentaries like Our Father and Delivery Man, we break down real concerns around donor conception, including cases of fertility doctors using their own sperm without consent, the lack of legal consequences, and how little oversight there is in the industry. We cover: What sperm donor regulations exist in the U.S. (and what doesn’t)FDA involvement and why it’s limited to disease screeningThe “25 family” guideline and why it’s not a lawHow self-reporting impacts donor limits and trackingThe issue of serial donors and lack of a national registryReal-world examples of donor misuse and legal gapsDifferences between U.S. regulations and other countriesEthical concerns around sperm banks, anonymity, and costWe also share our personal perspective as a couple navigating male factor infertility and considering donor conception, including the realities, concerns, and trade-offs that come with it. This episode is a straightforward look at the current state of sperm donor laws, the gaps in regulation, and what people should understand before going down the donor route.

    29 min

  7. Mar 30

    Episode 12: Sperm Donor vs Biological Father — Recommended Terminology to Use

    In this episode, we focus on the language used in the infertility and donor conception space—specifically the difference between terms like “sperm donor,” “biological father,” and “dad.” After receiving a diagnosis of non-obstructive azoospermia, we’ve had to navigate conversations that go beyond medical decisions and into how we actually talk about family, identity, and roles. This episode is a straightforward discussion on: What different terms actually meanWhy wording matters in the infertility spaceHow terms like biological dad vs father vs donor are usedThe implications of each term for parents and future childrenWhere language can be misleading or overly simplifiedWe also touch on how terminology varies depending on: Medical contextLegal definitionsPersonal preferenceCultural and social perspectivesIf you’re navigating male infertility, azoospermia, or donor conception, this episode gives a clear breakdown of the terminology you’re likely to encounter. Resources: 1. Donor-Conceived People’s Experiences of Identity and Relatedness https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/10.1080/13691058.2017.1349180 2. Relationality in Donor Conception: How Parents and Children Talk About Donors https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8289314/ 3. Donor vs Dad: Untangling Language, Identity, and the Meaning of Parenthood https://www.seattlespermbank.com/donor-vs-dad-untangling-language-identity-and-the-meaning-of-parenthood/ 4. Assisted Reproduction Kids Grow Up Just Fine—But It May Be Better to Tell Them Early https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/assisted-reproduction-kids-grow-up-just-fine-but-it-may-be-better-to-tell-them-early-about 5. We Are Donor Conceived – 2020 Survey Results https://www.wearedonorconceived.com/2020-survey-top/2020-we-are-donor-conceived-survey/

    27 min

  8. Mar 23

    Ep 11 Male Factor Infertility & Emotional Resilience: How to Cope, Let Go of Control, and Survive the IVF Journey

    In this episode of Unfertile & Unfiltered, we shift away from medical updates and dive into the emotional side of male factor infertility and the infertility journey. After navigating a diagnosis of non-obstructive azoospermia and preparing for IVF with a sperm donor, we’ve learned that infertility isn’t just physical—it’s deeply emotional. From long waiting timelines to the uncertainty of treatment, this process challenges your sense of control, identity, and expectations for the future. We talk about: How infertility forces you to confront what you can’t controlThe difference between a scarcity vs. abundance mindsetWhat emotional resilience actually looks like during IVFHow men and women cope differently with infertilityLetting go of timelines, expectations, and the pressure to “fix” everythingWhy surrender (not control) might be the key to surviving infertilityWe also share personal insights on how we’re learning to stay present, build a life we enjoy now, and find meaning even in the waiting. If you’re navigating male infertility, azoospermia, IVF, or donor conception, this episode is for you. You are not alone—and there is a way to move through this without losing yourself. Follow along on Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/sidneyhdavis/

    28 min
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Ratings & Reviews

4.6
out of 5
9 Ratings

About

A raw, honest podcast about male factor infertility, azoospermia, and the realities no one prepares you for. We share our journey through diagnosis, grief, marriage strain, and the difficult decisions around sperm donors and donor conception. This is the real, unfiltered side of infertility — for anyone navigating male infertility and trying to feel less alone.

Information

  • Creator
    Sidney Hales Davis
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    18
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Sidney Hales Davis
  • Show Website
    Unfertile & Unfiltered

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