The Raising Kids with Purpose Podcast

Adriane Thompson
  • 5.0 (17)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Weekly

The Raising Kids With Purpose Podcast is where overwhelmed moms and parents, especially those raising neurodivergent, high-energy, or strong-willed kids, learn emotional regulation for parents so they can regulate themselves FIRST and show up as their kids’ strongest advocates. Through the PURPOSE framework of Pause & Presence, Understanding the Whole Child, Rupture, Reflection & Repair, Play, Optimizing Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Regulation, Setting Boundaries, and Empowering Growth, parenting coach Adriane Thompson shares intentional and conscious parenting tools that support calm parenting, present parenting, and responding instead of reacting. This podcast offers parenting support for moms navigating parenting stress, reactive parenting, and parenting burnout, helping you build emotional regulation skills, create a calm household, and support your child’s brain development in healthy ways—without losing yourself in the hardest moments. This is peaceful parenting advice you wish your parents had.

  1. 1d ago

    32 // WHY YELLING AT YOUR KIDS DOESN'T WORK SERIES (PT. 3) | How to stop getting trapped in dysregulation

    WHY YELLING AT YOUR KIDS DOESN'T WORK SERIES (PART 3) | Stop Getting Trapped in Dysregulation In the final episode of this 3-part series, Adriane tackles the question her own 14-year-old asked her point blank: "If yelling doesn't work, why do you do it?" This episode dives into: Reason #7: how yelling traps both you and your child in a cycle of dysregulation Reason #8: the toll it takes on your own health Reason #9: the tools that actually work instead. In this episode: A real moment with Adriane's autistic 14-year-old calling her out after seeing the cover art for this series A quick recap of reasons #1–6 from Parts 1 and 2 The cereal/milk-spill story: Why the exact same situation gets two completely different reactions depending on Adriane's own regulation in the moment Reason #7: You and Your Child Can Get Trapped in Dysregulation The amygdala hijack, explained simply — how a child's dysregulation can hijack a parent's nervous system, and vice versa Co-dysregulation vs. co-regulation, and why the more dysregulated adult in the room usually sets the pace for how long a meltdown lasts A real story from a trampoline park: two very different parent responses to a screaming child, and two very different outcomes Reason #8: It Takes a Toll on Your Own Health and Well-Being Why cortisol and adrenaline spikes from chronic yelling aren't just a "kid problem". Regulating yourself first isn't selfish; it's necessary Reason #9: There Are Much Better Tools That Work Why yelling isn't actually "keeping order" — it's a tool, and there are better ones Why authority with compassion works better neurologically than force or fear Practical tools you can use today: the pause + breathwork, using something cold (ice pack tool), and movement (baby jumps, swaying, kangaroo-style play) to help both you and your child return to regulation The mirror neuron hand-holding exercise Adriane uses when speaking to groups of moms A full recap of all 9 reasons why yelling doesn't work, from across the entire series Resources & Links Mentioned: Book a free Parent Support Discovery Call www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat Free resource — The Calm Mom Toolkit: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/e4x8o5 Catch up on the series: Part 1 — Episode 30: Why Yelling at Your Kids Doesn't Work (The Brain Science) https://theparentingwithpurposepodcast.podbean.com/e/yelling-at-kids-doesnt-work/ Part 2 — Episode 31: Connection, Trust & Shame https://theparentingwithpurposepodcast.podbean.com/e/31-why-yelling-at-your-kids-doesn-t-work-series-pt-2-it-breaks-connection-and-trust-it-creates-shame/ Program mentioned: P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program (6-month program, including the "Optimizing Emotional Regulation" module referenced in this episode) raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat If this series helped you, leave a quick review to help another overwhelmed parent find this podcast exactly when they need it. Thank you for listening to this whole series!

    32 // WHY YELLING AT YOUR KIDS DOESN'T WORK SERIES (PT. 3) | How to stop getting trapped in dysregulation

  2. Sep 17

    31 // WHY YELLING AT YOUR KIDS DOESN’T WORK SERIES (PT. 2) | It breaks connection and trust & it creates shame

    In Part 1, Adriane broke down the brain science behind why yelling backfires — and shared the story of the backyard scream that landed her with shingles. In this episode, she goes past the brain science into what yelling actually costs you: your connection, your child's trust, and — if left unaddressed — deep-rooted shame that can follow them into adulthood. In this episode: A quick recap of Part 1 and what's ahead in this 3-part series Reason #4: It Breaks Connection and Trust — why kids are biologically wired to seek safety in their caregiver, and what happens to that attachment when the caregiver becomes a source of fear The "rupture effect" on highly sensitive, neurodivergent, or high-need-for-autonomy kids Why repair (not just an apology) is what rebuilds trust after a rupture Reason #5: It Creates Shame Instead of Growth — the key distinction between guilt ("I did something wrong") and shame ("I am something wrong") Why making kids responsible for your emotions ("you're making me so angry") teaches them to carry emotional responsibility that isn't theirs Brené Brown's research on shame vs. guilt How to start breaking generational patterns of shame without blaming the generations before you Reason #6: It Can Lead to Long-Term Emotional Struggles — the difference between chronic yelling and an occasional one-off The Gottmans' research on cortisol and childhood stress The Wang and Kennedy findings: even teens in warm, loving homes showed increased depressive symptoms when yelled at frequently The "two cars" analogy — yelling as a head-on collision vs. inviting your child into the car with you A real coaching story about identifying the root cause behind a recurring yelling trigger What's coming in Part 3: how to get out of dysregulation and build real cooperation, not just compliance Resources & Links Mentioned: 💙 Free resource — The Calm Mom Toolkit https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/e4x8o5 🎧 Part 1 of this series — Episode 30: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/28-how-to-make-back-to-school-routines-last-beyond/id1879606964?i=1000786256734 🎧 Episode 29 — Rupture and Repair: How to Fix Parent-Child Conflict Before It Causes Lasting Damage theparentingwithpurposepodcast.podbean.com/e/rupture-and-repair-in-parenting/ 📚 Brené Brown's research on guilt vs. shame www.brenebrown.com 📅 Book a free Parent Support Discovery Call www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat Loved this episode? Leave a quick review. It helps another overwhelmed parent find this podcast exactly when they need it. And subscribe so you don't miss Part 3!

    31 // WHY YELLING AT YOUR KIDS DOESN’T WORK SERIES (PT. 2) | It breaks connection and trust & it creates shame

  3. Sep 10

    30 // WHY YELLING AT YOUR KIDS DOESN’T WORK (PT. 1) | 3 reasons yelling backfires

    In this episode, the first of a 3-part series, Adriane breaks down the first three of nine reasons why yelling doesn't work, backed by brain science, and gives you tools you can start using today. In this episode: The backyard-scream story, and how it turned into a physical health scare Why 90% of parents report yelling at their kids, and why it feels effective in the moment Reason #1: Yelling Is Unhelpful | it doesn't teach the skill your child is missing (impulse control, perspective-taking), and what the word "discipline" actually means Why yelling teaches fear instead of the outcomes we actually want: good choices, resilience, frustration tolerance The escalation cycle: how your tone signals "fight mode" to your child's nervous system, and why that can trigger fight, flight, or freeze Why a child laughing in response to yelling isn't disrespect — it's a stress-coping response Tool: The Pause + calming self-talk ("This is not an emergency. I am safe.") Reason #2: It Models Unwanted Behavior | why kids are "little mirrors," plus a real story from Adriane's own car-ride-to-school morning Tool: Validate the emotion, not the behavior Reason #3: The Brain Doesn't Like It | neuroception, the stress response system, and why yelling shuts off your child's (and your own) thinking brain Dr. Laura Markham's key insight: you cannot teach a child anything while they're in fight or flight What's coming in Part 2: what yelling is really costing your relationship Resources & Links Mentioned: 📖 Read the original blog post: 9 Eye-Opening Reasons Why You Should Stop Yelling at Kids: raisingkidswithpurpose.com/reasons-to-stop-yelling-at-kids/ 🎧 Related — Episode 2: The Power of Pausing in Parenting: How to Stop Reacting and Start Responding podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/2-the-power-of-pausing-in-parenting-how-to-stop/id1879606964?i=1000751732199 🎧 Related — Episode 29: Rupture and Repair: How to Fix Parent-Child Conflict Before It Causes Lasting Damage theparentingwithpurposepodcast.podbean.com/e/rupture-and-repair-in-parenting/ 🎧 On teaching through play — Episode 21: Why Your Kid Keeps Disobeying You And What Works Faster Than Timeouts theparentingwithpurposepodcast.podbean.com/e/disobedientkid/ 🎧 Episode 22: How to Be a Playful Parent When You're in Parental Burn Out theparentingwithpurposepodcast.podbean.com/e/parentburnout/ 🎧 Episode 23: 5 Playful Habits to Build a Stronger Bond With Your Kids theparentingwithpurposepodcast.podbean.com/e/playfulparentinghabits/ 🧠 Dr. Laura Markham, clinical psychologist — Aha! Parenting ahaparenting.com Book: Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham (Amazon affiliate link): https://amzn.to/4ieIW8l  Programs mentioned: P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program (covering Rupture, Reflection & Repair, and Optimizing Emotional Regulation) Book a chat: raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat  Loved this episode? Leave a quick review. It helps another overwhelmed parent find this podcast exactly when they need it. And subscribe so you don't miss Part 2!

    30 // WHY YELLING AT YOUR KIDS DOESN’T WORK (PT. 1) | 3 reasons yelling backfires

  4. Sep 3

    29 // Rupture and repair: How to fix parent-child conflict before it causes lasting damage

    Rupture and Repair: How to Fix Parent-Child Conflict Before It Causes Lasting Damage Ruptures with our kids are inevitable, but repair is what makes the relationship stronger, not weaker. In this episode, Adriane revisits a blog post she wrote back in 2020 about a rupture with her son and breaks down the exact process for repairing conflict with your kids: acknowledging harm, taking responsibility, validating feelings, and making amends. She also shares a personal story about receiving an unexpected repair from her own dad, and why healing these patterns now can break the generational cycle for good. In this episode: Why ruptures are inevitable (and even healthy) in the parent-child relationship The 4-part recipe for meaningful repair: acknowledge harm, take responsibility, validate feelings, make amends What happens when ruptures go unrepaired — shame, feelings of inadequacy, a "victim mentality" The Stop, Drop, Pray, Breathe method for calming down before repairing A personal story about receiving repair from her own father, decades later How this work shows up in the Purpose Parent Transformation Program and Purpose Learning Program Read the original blog post: https://raisingkidswithpurpose.com/parent-child-conflict/ Grab the free Emotion Coach printable (mentioned in the blog post above): https://raisingkidswithpurpose.com/parent-child-conflict/ Stop the Fighting Toolkit (mentioned in this episode): https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/stop-the-fighting-toolkit Purpose Parent Transformation Program — book a chat: https://raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat Purpose Learning Program for Kids: https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/the-purpose-learning-program-for-kids/ Episode 2: The Power of Pausing in Parenting: How to Stop Reacting and Start Responding: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/2-the-power-of-pausing-in-parenting-how-to-stop/id1879606964?i=1000751732199 Books mentioned by Dr. Daniel Siegel (some co-authored with Tina Payne Bryson): Parenting from the Inside Out: https://amzn.to/3UtuShp The Whole-Brain Child: https://amzn.to/45YbKdS No-Drama Discipline: https://amzn.to/4iasGFr The Yes Brain: https://amzn.to/3SpF362 The Power of Showing Up: https://amzn.to/4h2DILJ This post/episode contains affiliate links. If you purchase through these links, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting the podcast! Loved this episode? Leave a quick review. It helps another overwhelmed parent find this podcast when they need it most. And subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next! Questions or thoughts on this episode? Email hello@raisingkidswithpurpose.com

    29 // Rupture and repair: How to fix parent-child conflict before it causes lasting damage

  5. Aug 27

    28 // How to make back-to-school routines last beyond the first week

    Back to School Routines That Actually Stick  This August felt different. The first day of school was the least stressful one Adriane's ever had, and it wasn't luck. It's because the same routines her family has used for over a decade are finally just... baked in. In this episode, Adriane revisits her friend Emily McDermott's 5 must-have back-to-school routines (from a guest post Emily wrote for the blog last year) and shares what's actually kept these routines sticking well past week one for years, not just for the start of school. In this episode: The brain science on why routines matter so much for kids (and adults): cortisol, the amygdala, and executive function Why the "witching hour" (after dinner to bedtime) tends to get less witchy as kids get older Emily's tip for resetting the kitchen as a family every night and how it sets up a calmer morning Checking kids' school schedules during the after-dinner routine so nothing gets missed (swim days, library books, PE gear) Why nailing your evening routine matters even more than your morning routine The 5-7 minute morning routine Adriane's autistic son runs without even needing the chart anymore Emily's weekly planning routine (done on Saturday/Sunday) and how it takes the guesswork out of the week ahead Which of these 5 routines Adriane's family still struggles with, even after years of practice Resources & Links Mentioned: Read Emily's original guest post: 5 MUST-HAVE Back-to-School Routines for Overwhelmed Moms Grab Adriane's routine checklist (morning & evening, customizable): https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/m1s4n8 Life skills blog post + printable: what kids can do at different ages: https://raisingkidswithpurpose.com/teaching-new-skills/  Family meeting resources: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/u7e6v5 Emily McDermott's podcast: Moms Overcoming Overwhelm https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/moms-overcoming-overwhelm-decluttering-tips-declutter/id1645070363  Emily's website: Simply by Emmy - https://simplebyemmy.com/  Jess Przulj's podcast: Habit Stacking Mom - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/habit-stacking-mom-routines-consistency-planning-overwhelm/id1761265290  Book a Parent Support Discovery Call: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat If this episode helped, Adriane would love a quick review. It helps another overwhelmed parent find this podcast exactly when they need it.

    28 // How to make back-to-school routines last beyond the first week

  6. Aug 20

    27 // The words that shape who your kids become: Writing positive lunchbox notes that build self-love

    Every single word you speak to your child is either building an identity that says "I am enough, I am worthy, I am loved, I am seen" or quietly teaching them that their worth is connected to what they do next. In this episode, we're talking about positive lunchbox notes for kids, the neuroscience behind affirmations, the real difference between self-esteem and self-love, and how back-to-school season gives you a built-in, easy way to start. In this episode: Why performance-based praise ("Great job!" "You're so smart!") can quietly backfire The neuroscience behind affirmations: your child's brain can't tell the difference between what's real and what's imagined Why academic stress, social comparison, and peer pressure are hitting kids harder and younger than ever The difference between self-esteem and self-love (and why it matters for your child's long-term identity) 5 categories of lunchbox notes that build lasting confidence: Security & Belonging, Identity & Worth, Internal Strength, Growth & Learning, and Play & Fun How I laminate my lunchbox notes so they last all year Realistic ways to do this even on your busiest mornings Resources mentioned: 📥 Grab your FREE 30 Positive Lunchbox Notes for Kids (+ bonus jokes): https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/d1h9r9 📖 Read the full blog post: https://raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat 🎧 Related episode — 17 // Why Praise Doesn't Work to Motivate Kids (And What to Do Instead): https://self-compassion.org/practices/self-compassion-loving-kindness-meditation/ Programs mentioned: PURPOSE Parent Transformation Program (1:1): https://amzn.to/4cx6MID Self-Love for Kids: 100+ Activities to Help Your Child Develop Self-Love by Keri K. Powers: https://amzn.to/4igUwzy Hold On to Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld & Gabor Maté: https://amzn.to/4qkAKoQ Supplies mentioned: The laminator I use: https://amzn.to/4cvjuaN  Laminating sheets I use: https://amzn.to/4gD8QBk  Disclosure: Some of the links above are affiliate links. If you purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting the podcast!

    27 // The words that shape who your kids become: Writing positive lunchbox notes that build self-love

  7. Aug 13

    26 // When Your Kid Refuses to Go To School (and Nothing You Try Works)

    School refusal is so often labeled defiance, manipulation, or laziness, but it's actually a child's nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do: keep them safe. In this episode, Adriane shares her own years-long journey through school refusal with her son, from the "perfect student" mask that cracked open at home, to the day he walked into a classroom and walked right back out yelling "anxiety sucks," to finally finding the environment where he could thrive. Along the way, she shares the tips, mindset shifts, and advocacy strategies she wishes she'd known back then. In this episode: Why school refusal is a nervous system response, not a choice What a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) profile of autism looks like at home vs. at school The moment everything came to a head and the two words her son yelled that changed everything Why "you're just rescuing him" isn't the whole story 7 things that actually help: starting with the nervous system, getting curious before consequences, identifying the underlying need, choosing the right environment, choosing people who see the child, becoming a strong advocate, and staying consistent without force Resources mentioned: Prenda — microschool network Adriane worked with for four years; a great option to look into if your child has high anxiety or school refusal Beyond Behaviors (This is an affiliate link) by Dr. Mona Delahooke — reframes behavior as "the tip of the iceberg," pointing to unmet needs underneath  The Self-Driven Child (This is an affiliate link) by William Stixrud, PhD, and Ned Johnson — on kids' core developmental need for autonomy and agency Seth Perler — executive function coach; a great resource on advocating for your child at school Homeschooling While Working Full Time — Adriane's blog post on how she made it work Connect with Adriane: Have a question or story to share? Email hello@raisingkidswithpurpose.com  Purpose Parent Transformation Program: (https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/1-1-purpose-parent-program/) The new Purpose Learning Program: (https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/communication-and-sel-program/)  Book a Parent Support Discovery Call: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat If this episode helped you, a quick review means the world!  It's how another overwhelmed parent finds this podcast right when they need it.

    26 // When Your Kid Refuses to Go To School (and Nothing You Try Works)

  8. Aug 6

    25 // Defiance, Meltdowns, Aggression: What is really going on in your kid's brain

    Your kid melts down, tells you no, or hits their sibling and has aggressive behaviors, and it's exhausting. There are two hidden problems behind almost every "big behavior": there's always something deeper going on under the iceberg. In this episode, Adriane reveals the two hidden reasons behind defiance, meltdowns, and hitting and why once you see it, you can't unsee it. In this episode, you'll learn: Why defiance, meltdowns, and hitting are three different masks for the same underlying reasons The Iceberg Theory of behavior and why what you see is never the whole story What's really happening in your child's brain (and why the prefrontal cortex isn't the villain here) How to translate defiance, meltdowns, and hitting into what your child is actually communicating One simple shift in the question you ask yourself that changes how you respond to almost everything Mentioned in this episode: Blog post: Kids Playing With Toy Guns - https://raisingkidswithpurpose.com/kids-playing-with-toys-guns/ Blog post: The Ultimate Guide to Understanding Sensory Processing Systems - https://raisingkidswithpurpose.com/sensory-processing-systems/ The sensory series: Episode 13: The 8 Sensory Systems Every Parent Needs to Understand (Part 1/3): Tactile, Vestibular and Proprioceptive Episode 14: The 8 Sensory Systems Every Parent Needs to Know (Part 2/3): Sound, Sight, Smell & Taste Episode 15: The 8 Sensory Systems Every Parent Needs to Know (Part 3/3): The Sense No One Talks About Free Workshop #3: How to Get Your Kids to Actually Listen Without Yelling, Repeating Yourself, or Losing Your Mind — August 24th @ 9:00am PT. Register here - https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/h6x2s0  Learn more about the PURPOSE Parent Transformation Program Loved this episode? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps another overwhelmed parent find this show.

    25 // Defiance, Meltdowns, Aggression: What is really going on in your kid's brain
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About

The Raising Kids With Purpose Podcast is where overwhelmed moms and parents, especially those raising neurodivergent, high-energy, or strong-willed kids, learn emotional regulation for parents so they can regulate themselves FIRST and show up as their kids’ strongest advocates. Through the PURPOSE framework of Pause & Presence, Understanding the Whole Child, Rupture, Reflection & Repair, Play, Optimizing Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Regulation, Setting Boundaries, and Empowering Growth, parenting coach Adriane Thompson shares intentional and conscious parenting tools that support calm parenting, present parenting, and responding instead of reacting. This podcast offers parenting support for moms navigating parenting stress, reactive parenting, and parenting burnout, helping you build emotional regulation skills, create a calm household, and support your child’s brain development in healthy ways—without losing yourself in the hardest moments. This is peaceful parenting advice you wish your parents had.

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