Wired Divergent: Unmasking, Confidence & Regulation for Autistic Adults

Jen deHaan
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  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Wired Divergent is a podcast for autistic & AuDHD adults who spent a long time being a version of themselves that was never really them and understand how harmful and exhausting this can be. Host Jen deHaan is an AuDHD trauma-informed certified coach and long term educator (degree and further certification) in a variety of spaces. Masking is a form of scripting, planning and performance that a lot of neurodivergent people learn early on that often leads to exhaustion and burnout. This podcast focuses on where those things meet: unmasking, shame reduction, and confidence within a world that keeps treating us as the problem. Expect masking and autistic burnout, late-identified or late-diagnosed life, and self-trust, social confidence and getting out of your own head, and the shame that originated from society and communities around you. Some episodes discuss why something happens, and other episodes contain one easy tool or idea to try on your own. All of it comes from an AuDHD person talking to autistic & AuDHD people (you!), with no pathologizing and no fixing. We will be unmasking and unraveling any remaining long-internalized shame together. New episodes released on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The Thursday episodes offer a guided nervous system regulation practice (and is inclusive of those with limited interoception and/or alexithymia). If you want to work on these things, such as unmasking and confidence building, alongside other people, Jen runs workshops about all of this and is developing an asynchronous one to one coaching practice. Head to jendehaan.com for more information. There are separate videos on Jen's YouTube about the same topics. About: Jen deHaan is an autistic and ADHD (AuDHD) trauma-informed certified coach, producer, and improviser based in British Columbia, with a background in creative education. She has close to 30 years in creative work and over a decade teaching improv and performance. She coaches one to one and runs workshops for autistic and AuDHD adults building confidence and understanding. Jen is also writing, producing, and hosting a TV show called Grounded for Optik+ and Telus STORYHIVE about neurodivergent brains and nervous system regulation. Her show will launch and stream in 2027. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

  1. 17h ago

    [Regulation Practice] Gentle Movement Practice to Loosen Tension After Masking All Day

    This is a 5-minute movement practice for autistic and AuDHD adults, a gentle follow-along for the end of the day. If your body has been holding tension since the morning, from sitting or from masking around other people all day, this practice is for loosening some of that. This isn't a workout or a stretch routine. I offer some easy options, shaking out your hands, rolling your shoulders, some slow neck and torso movements, reaching up, and then a moment to add whatever movement your own body is asking for. Everything is an invitation, so move in whatever way works for you and skip anything that doesn't. Your body might feel a bit looser at the end, or about the same, and both are fine. CHAPTERS:0:00 Safety note and who this practice is for 2:01 The practice begins 7:54 Coming back to the room 8:24 Outro About Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com Support the showWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkRun Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here. AboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here. This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan. I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes. DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional. Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

    [Regulation Practice] Gentle Movement Practice to Loosen Tension After Masking All Day

  2. 2d ago

    Autistic and AuDHD Adults: Two Interrupting Problems, Patterns & Options Explained

    Interrupting can go wrong for autistic and AuDHD adults in two very different ways, and the usual advice to just speak up only helps with one of them. In this episode I go through why a thought can vanish the moment someone cuts in, why jumping into a group conversation might not work for a lot of us, and what I've tried for both. I describe the two different situations involved with this idea, and then I go through a handful of options I've tried, for one-on-one conversations and for group settings, including one that came out of improv and one that I think is the least ideal but still counts. I also give you a test to run over the week for whether any of this is helping, or whether it's just more masking, which you might not want more of in your life. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why a thought can disappear completely the moment you get interrupted, and when that tends to happenWhy waiting for the right pause in a group conversation can cost so much afterwardWhat to say to a trusted person so you can keep the floor while you work a thought outHow to get an assist in a group setting when jumping in on your own isn't available to youA test for whether your speaking up strategy is helping or just adding more masking CHAPTERS:0:00 Two ways interrupting goes wrong for autistic brains 1:33 What this episode covers 3:09 Losing your train of thought mid-sentence 4:43 Why verbal processing makes the thought disappear 7:17 Where monotropic attention might come into it 7:59 The other problem: waiting for a pause that doesn't come 9:05 Why so many of us hold back 10:51 The empathy gap and unwritten rules 11:57 AAC, speech that changes, and timing 12:41 Corrections growing up and as an adult 15:24 Why interrupting isn't equally safe for every person in the room 16:32 Options for one-on-one conversations 18:07 Options for a group: asking for an assist 19:14 Practising the flow, and the masking question 20:29 Where improv came in for me 21:59 Practising letting go, with a strategy 23:29 A test for the week 24:56 Outro RESOURCES:The double empathy gap (double empathy problem), more information: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_empathy_problem Monotropism: https://monotropism.org About Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com Support the showWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkRun Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here. AboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here. This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan. I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes. DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional. Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

    Autistic and AuDHD Adults: Two Interrupting Problems, Patterns & Options Explained

  3. Sep 10

    [Regulation Practice] 10-Minute neurodivergent grounding for those who can't or don't do somatics

    This is a 10-minute tracking practice for autistic and AuDHD adults, built for anyone who has tried somatics (noticing body sensations) or mindfulness and come out more dysregulated than when they started. If sitting down to watch your thoughts or scan your body for sensations has ever left you feeling worse, this is another way in, another way to try this out. I guide you through noticing a series of different things without deciding whether any of them is good, bad, pleasant, or unpleasant. We start somewhere other than a body sensation, because that's a hard place to read for a lot of us, and move through thoughts, sounds, energy, and a colour, scent, picture, or words. Every indicator can be external or internal, and "I don't know" (or even "whatever, Jen") is a completely valid answer throughout. CHAPTERS:0:00 Safety note and who this practice is for 2:52 The practice begins 7:04 Coming back to the room 8:05 Outro About Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com Support the showWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkRun Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here. AboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here. This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan. I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes. DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional. Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

    [Regulation Practice] 10-Minute neurodivergent grounding for those who can't or don't do somatics

  4. Sep 8

    Unmasking as an Autistic or AuDHD Adult and the Fear of Being Misread

    Autistic unmasking is a healthy thing, and it can still get you read as a jerk, intimidating, or angry when you never meant any of that. In this episode I talk about what happens when you unmask as an autistic or AuDHD adult and other people misread your intention. A lot of us hear the same words from other people. Intense. Blunt. Too direct. Intimidating. I get into how that connects to the way autistic communication actually works, what the research says about the misunderstanding, and why it shows up so much in autistic and AuDHD social life. I share a personal story about growing up knowing my brain worked like my dad's, a worry I carried for years about being a certain kind of person because of it, and a therapy conversation after he died that half-answered the question. This one is part teaching and part storytelling, for anyone doing the slow work of being more themselves around other people. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why unmasking can get your intentions read as jerk, angry, or intimidatingWhat the research on autistic communication says about misunderstandingsThe therapy conversation I had about being like my dadThe intention versus impact questionHow to think about masking and unmasking as choices you get to make CHAPTERS:0:00 Unmasking is good, and you can still be read as a jerk 0:57 What this episode covers, and what unmasking really is 2:28 The misreads autistic and AuDHD adults keep hitting 3:54 Why autistic communication works fine with the right people 6:03 The time someone told me I was intimidating 7:29 Growing up knowing my brain was like my dad's 10:59 The concentrating face that gets read as anger 14:34 The pop psychology take on intention 17:15 The choices on your unmasking journey 19:56 Where to find more About Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com Support the showWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkRun Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here. AboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here. This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan. I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes. DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional. Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

    Unmasking as an Autistic or AuDHD Adult and the Fear of Being Misread

  5. Sep 3

    [Regulation Practice] Autistic Grounding Reset After a Long Masking Day

    This is a 10-minute grounding reset for autistic and AuDHD adults, a follow-along practice for after a long day of masking. If you've masked all day at work, at an event, or out running errands, and you've come home depleted, in a crash or a shutdown, this practice is for that thing. I guide you through settling in and then a gentle check-in with a few places masking tends to leave tension. You can do the noticing externally or internally, whichever one you have access to, so it works whether or not you get clear signals from inside your body. There's no fixing here, just noticing what's already there, and neutral is a completely valid result. CHAPTERS:0:00 Safety note and who this practice is for 2:08 The practice begins 8:13 Coming back to the room 9:05 Outro About Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com Support the showWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkRun Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here. AboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here. This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan. I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes. DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional. Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

    [Regulation Practice] Autistic Grounding Reset After a Long Masking Day

  6. Sep 1

    Autistic Nervous System "Regulation": Find Your Baseline & Build a System That Fits Your Brain

    I've taken a lot of courses on nervous system regulation, and most of them left out autistic and AuDHD brains with alexithymia and low interoception. And never a very clear idea about what so-called "regulation" truly even means. In this episode I talk through how I build my own "regulation" system, one that fits the way my brain actually works and doesn't involve trying to figure out what is regulated and what isn't! When neurodivergence came up in these courses at all, the model being discussed stayed the same and the activities stayed the same, so anyone with a different wiring still had to figure it out on our own (or realize their models were still harmful despite having a "neurodivergent" component). I explain what interoception and alexithymia are, and why they make a lot of standard somatic and regulation advice hard to follow. I go through the idea of a personal baseline and how you can move away from it depending on where you are and who you're with. I also cover why aiming to stay calm as much as possible might not be realistic or healthy for some of our brains. Finally, I talk about why every person's reactions and baselines are normal and specific to them, and I walk through a simple way to start building a system that fits your own needs. This is the approach I use myself, and it lines up with established models like the CRM HelpNow skills, just ... improved?... so it works for a wider range of brains. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why so much standard regulation and somatics advice leaves autistic and AuDHD people outWhat you can notice even when you can't feel clear sensations in your bodyHow to work out your own baseline, and why it changes with contextWhat the goal of staying calm all the time can cost some of usHow to start building a regulation system from your own specific needs CHAPTERS:0:00 Why standard regulation and somatics courses left me out 1:55 When courses mention us but change nothing 5:58 What you can notice when body sensations aren't clear 8:44 Why staying calm all the time might not be the goal 14:05 Why everyone's reactions and baselines are normal and their own 16:25 The suggestion: build a system that fits you 18:29 How to actually start, one situation at a time RESOURCES:Neurodivergent Somatics by Nyck Walsh (book) https://wwnorton.com/books/9781324082910Nyck Walsh's Neurodivergent Somatics practitioner course About Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com Support the showWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkRun Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here. AboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here. This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan. I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes. DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional. Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

    Autistic Nervous System "Regulation": Find Your Baseline & Build a System That Fits Your Brain

  7. Aug 27

    [Regulation Practice] AuDHD Nervous System Reset Using Your Special Interest

    This is a 10-minute regulation practice for autistic and AuDHD adults that uses a chosen passion as the resource. If you're generally worn down and looking for a reset, bringing your interest to mind on purpose can do some of that work for you. You don't need to be doing the interest to get something from it, so this one suits the days when you can't get to your passion, and you're welcome to hold an object from it or look at a photo on your phone while we go. It works whether your interest arrives as a clear image, a set of facts, the feeling of being deep in the activity with nothing to see, or something in between those. I also spend part of the practice on permission, since many late diagnosed autistic adults learned early on to hide how much they love their interests, and this is a thing you're allowed to love and allowed to talk about. A neutral result counts as a result, so nothing here depends on you feeling different by the end. CHAPTERS 0:00 Safety note and how this practice works 2:57 Settling in and starting the practice 8:35 Coming back to the room 9:36 Outro About Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com Support the showWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkRun Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here. AboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here. This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan. I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes. DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional. Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

    [Regulation Practice] AuDHD Nervous System Reset Using Your Special Interest

  8. Aug 25

    Autistic Burnout: Why You Perform Getting Better (But Don't Owe Anyone an Explanation)

    Autistic burnout is hard enough, and a lot of us add a second layer on top of it, performing recovery for other people while we're still deep in it. I talk through why that extra masking happens and what makes it possible to stop. The performance looks like telling people (even the professionals!) you're getting better on the schedule they expect and saying you're fine to get out of a conversation you don't have the energy for, sometimes without even knowing whether what you're saying is true. I get into why the usual recovery model, that straight line from session one to session two to getting better, doesn't fit autistic burnout, which moves sideways and backwards on its own timeline. I talk about what happens when we try to explain ourselves to people who see burnout through a neuro-normative lens (and this is almost universally true in the wellness industry! because NOTHING includes our autistic experience, brains or reality), why not being believed is so much of what put us there, and why masking through it is still a valid choice. Then I get into what changes when you have people who actually understand autistic burnout, and why you don't owe anyone the psychoeducation, or answers to questions that don't fit your brain like the one-to-ten scale. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why so many of us mask on top of autistic burnout by performing recoveryHow the standard linear recovery model sets you up to feel like you're failingWhat not being believed has to do with landing in burnout and staying thereWhat actually changes when the person you talk to has been through it themselvesWhy you don't owe anyone the one-to-ten scale or the education about your own brain Chapters0:00 The extra masking layer on top of autistic burnout 3:13 Why performing recovery is its own kind of masking 4:46 Why autistic burnout goes sideways and backwards 5:47 Why the wellness world keeps missing autistic burnout 6:50 The exhaustion of explaining and not being believed 9:40 Explaining or masking, and the cost of each 11:38 Who it's actually possible to be honest with 14:38 Why you don't owe anyone the education 16:19 Pacing yourself on your own terms About Audio and VideoThis show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newslettersWired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaanResources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com Support the showWe love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytzWe have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8nddTranscriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqkRun Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here. AboutThis podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here. This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan. I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes. DISCLAIMER:Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional. Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

    Autistic Burnout: Why You Perform Getting Better (But Don't Owe Anyone an Explanation)
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Wired Divergent is a podcast for autistic & AuDHD adults who spent a long time being a version of themselves that was never really them and understand how harmful and exhausting this can be. Host Jen deHaan is an AuDHD trauma-informed certified coach and long term educator (degree and further certification) in a variety of spaces. Masking is a form of scripting, planning and performance that a lot of neurodivergent people learn early on that often leads to exhaustion and burnout. This podcast focuses on where those things meet: unmasking, shame reduction, and confidence within a world that keeps treating us as the problem. Expect masking and autistic burnout, late-identified or late-diagnosed life, and self-trust, social confidence and getting out of your own head, and the shame that originated from society and communities around you. Some episodes discuss why something happens, and other episodes contain one easy tool or idea to try on your own. All of it comes from an AuDHD person talking to autistic & AuDHD people (you!), with no pathologizing and no fixing. We will be unmasking and unraveling any remaining long-internalized shame together. New episodes released on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The Thursday episodes offer a guided nervous system regulation practice (and is inclusive of those with limited interoception and/or alexithymia). If you want to work on these things, such as unmasking and confidence building, alongside other people, Jen runs workshops about all of this and is developing an asynchronous one to one coaching practice. Head to jendehaan.com for more information. There are separate videos on Jen's YouTube about the same topics. About: Jen deHaan is an autistic and ADHD (AuDHD) trauma-informed certified coach, producer, and improviser based in British Columbia, with a background in creative education. She has close to 30 years in creative work and over a decade teaching improv and performance. She coaches one to one and runs workshops for autistic and AuDHD adults building confidence and understanding. Jen is also writing, producing, and hosting a TV show called Grounded for Optik+ and Telus STORYHIVE about neurodivergent brains and nervous system regulation. Her show will launch and stream in 2027. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

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