The Functional Nerds Podcast

The Functional Nerds
  • 4.8 (51)
  • Books
  • Updated Weekly

The weekly podcast from author/blogger Patrick Hester and author/teacher Tracy Townsend

  1. 3d ago

    Episode 705-With J.P. Lacrampe

    This week on the podcast, Patrick and Tracy welcome J.P. Lacrampe, author of Valet. About Valet: Cy wants nothing more than to be useful, raise his utility score, and receive the next update for his operating system. But that’s easier said than done when he’s tasked with helping his owner’s thirty-five-year-old son “get out of his funk.” Grayson is nothing like his go-getter, CEO sister Charlotte. He didn’t inherit the family robotics company when their dad passed last year, he doesn’t have a master’s degree, and he just can’t seem to figure out the San Francisco dating scene. He’d rather eat synthesized mozzarella sticks and make pottery at his studio, Kilning Time. When Grayson learns of Charlotte’s plan to sell the company to a tech conglomerate, he panics. It’s not just the family business at stake, it’s all the technology—like Cy—their dad invented over the years. So he does what anyone would do: he steals the flash drive with his father’s most important work stored on it and plans a corporate takeover. If only he knew what that meant. To make matters worse, a fellow VALET deserts his owner and asks Cy to help him hightail it out of town, Grayson’s first real date—and her dog—keeping showing up at inopportune times, and the behemoth tech company wants this deal closed yesterday. Grayson, Cy, and their trusty golden retriever, Sasha III, must go on the lam until they figure out exactly what to do, and whom to trust. About J.P. Lacrampe: J.P. Lacrampe received his MFA in creative writing from Saint Mary’s College. His short fiction has been published by Glimmer Train, McSweeney’s, Instant City, and in Howl: A Collection of the Best Contemporary Dog Wit. He is a professor at Santa Clara University & SJSU, where he teaches courses in composition, fiction, and screenwriting. This week’s picks: J.P. #1: Disney’s Aladdin (1992) J.P. #2: Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak J.P. #2: Deer seen swimming in San Francisco Bay far from shore Tracy: Corn on the cob Patrick #1: Witch Hat Atelier (Crunchyroll) Patrick #2: The Home Depot Hot Dog Cart Links: J.P. Lacrampe on Instagram Tracy Townsend on BluSky Patrick Hester on Instagram The Functional Nerds Patreon Page © 2026 Patrick Hester The post Episode 705-With J.P. Lacrampe appeared first on The Functional Nerds.

    47 min

  2. May 26

    Episode 704-With Seanan McGuire

    This week on the podcast, Patrick and Tracy welcome Seanan McGuire, author of STRIXHAVEN: OMENS OF CHAOS. About STRIXHAVEN: OMENS OF CHAOS: Eula Blue was supposed to be a mage. That was before the war came—before the fight for the Multiverse devastated Eula’s home, and with it her hopes for a magical education. But the destruction of the war also brought something new: the ability to travel to other planes. And when Eula receives an invitation to study magic at a distant school called Strixhaven, she leaps to take it. To make it through their first semester, they’ll have to fight for their place in this new world—or else they’ll be dead before their final exams. About Seanan McGuire: Seanan McGuire lives and works in Washington State, where she shares her somewhat idiosyncratic home with her collection of books, creepy dolls, and enormous blue cats. When not writing–which is fairly rare–she enjoys travel, and can regularly be found any place where there are cornfields, haunted houses, or frogs. A Campbell, Hugo, and Nebula Award-winning author, Seanan’s first book (Rosemary and Rue, the beginning of the October Daye series) was released in 2009, with more than twenty books across various series following since. Seanan doesn’t sleep much. This week’s picks: Seanan: How to Survive Camping: The Man With No Shadow by Bonnie Quinn Tracy: Aye, Dark Overlord! (Game) Patrick: 3D Printed Life Tracker/HP Counter Links: Seanan McGuire on BluSky Tracy Townsend on BluSky Patrick Hester on Instagram The Functional Nerds Patreon Page © 2026 Patrick Hester The post Episode 704-With Seanan McGuire appeared first on The Functional Nerds.

    42 min

  3. May 19

    Episode 703-With Naomi Kritzer

    This week on the podcast, Patrick and Tracy welcome Naomi Kritzer, author of Obstetrix. About Obstetrix: Doctor Liz has just been acquitted for performing the last abortion in North Dakota when she’s kidnapped. They’re not just any kidnappers, but a fundamentalist cult, deep in the rural west, without respect for law or decency, and in desperate need of an OB/GYN. Guarded, isolated, without access to the outside world, Liz nevertheless is treated with respect as the only doctor on the compound, but she is very aware of what happened to the last obstetrician they kidnapped. She must escape, and bring help to the girls trapped at the compound, if it’s the last thing she does. About Naomi Kritzer: NAOMI KRITZER has been re-reading favorite books since childhood, and probably still has passages from A Wrinkle in Time memorized. She writes for both adults and teens, including Catfishing on CatNet and Chaos on CatNet from Tor Teen and Liberty’s Daughter from Fairwood Press. Her writing has won the Hugo Award, the Nebula Award, the Edgar Award, the Locus Award, and the Minnesota Book Award. Naomi lives in St. Paul, Minnesota, with her family and three cats. The number of cats is subject to change without notice. This week’s picks: Naomi #1: Schmigadoon! (AppleTV) Naomi #2: A Dubious Clamor by Marissa Lingen Naomi #3: The Mirror Realm Cycle Series by Ariel Kaplan Tracy: Invincible (comics) Patrick: The Apothecary Diaries (Crunchyroll) Links: Naomi Kritzer on BluSky Tracy Townsend on BluSky Patrick Hester on Instagram The Functional Nerds Patreon Page © 2026 Patrick Hester The post Episode 703-With Naomi Kritzer appeared first on The Functional Nerds.

    53 min

  4. May 12

    Episode 702-With Amal El-Mohtar

    This week on the podcast, Patrick and Tracy welcome Amal El-Mohtar, author of Seasons of Glass and Iron. About Seasons of Glass and Iron: Full of glimpses into gleaming worlds and fairy tales with teeth, Seasons of Glass and Iron: Stories is a collection of acclaimed and awarded work from Amal El-Mohtar. With confidence and style, El-Mohtar guides us through exquisitely told and sharply observed tales about life as it is, was, and could be. Like miscellany from other worlds, these stories are told in letters, diary entries, reference materials, folktales, and lyrical prose. Full of Nebula, Locus, World Fantasy, and Hugo Award-winning and nominated stories, Seasons of Glass and Iron: Stories includes “Seasons of Glass and Iron,” “The Green Book,” “Madeleine,” “The Lonely Sea in the Sky,” “And Their Lips Rang with the Sun,” “The Truth About Owls,” “A Hollow Play,” “Anabasis,” “To Follow the Waves,” “John Hollowback and the Witch,” “Florilegia, or, Some Lies About Flowers,” “Pockets,” and more. About Amal El-Mohtar: Amal El-Mohtar is an award-winning writer of fiction, poetry, and criticism. Her stories and poems have appeared in magazines including Tor.com, Fireside Fiction, Lightspeed, Uncanny, Strange Horizons, Apex, Stone Telling, and Mythic Delirium; anthologies including The Djinn Falls in Love and Other Stories (2017), The Starlit Wood: New Fairy Tales (2016), Kaleidoscope: Diverse YA Science Fiction and Fantasy Stories (2014), and The Thackery T. Lambshead Cabinet of Curiosities (2011); and in her own collection, The Honey Month (2010). She is co-author, with Max Gladstone, of the multiple award-winning This is How You Lose the Time War. Her articles and reviews have appeared in the New York Times, NPR Books and on Tor.com. She has been the New York Times’s science fiction and fantasy columnist since February 2018, and she is represented by DongWon Song of HMLA. This week’s picks: Amal #1: Clues by Sam – Puzzles Amal #2: Heated Rivalry (HBO) Amal #3: Goin for a Walk Amal #4: Time of Iron book series by Sarah Rees Brennan Tracy: A Short History of Stupid by Bernard Keane & Helen Razer Patrick: Marty, Life Is Short (Netflix) Links: Amal El-Mohtar’s Newsletter Tracy Townsend on BluSky Patrick Hester on Instagram The Functional Nerds Patreon Page © 2026 Patrick Hester The post Episode 702-With Amal El-Mohtar appeared first on The Functional Nerds.

    51 min

  5. May 5

    Episode 701-With Anton Hur

    This week on the podcast, Patrick and Tracy welcome Anton Hur, translator of If We Cannot Go at the Speed of Light by Kim Cho-yeop. About If We Cannot Go at the Speed of Light by Kim Cho-yeop: An elderly woman stranded in a defunct space station recounts her life story to a visitor as she waits for a vessel that may never arrive. A man comes across a company called Emotional Solids that sells emotions as material products—love as a piece of chocolate, sadness as a smooth stone, anger as a glass paperweight—and tries to understand why people would want to purchase any negative emotions. When an enigmatic artist reveals long-forgotten messages from beyond through her wildly original paintings portraying a planet from a time long before humanity formed, a team of researchers investigate if this planet truly existed and if so, how did this artist know of it? After a pregnant woman’s estranged mother dies suddenly, her avatar disappears from the library of lost souls where the digital minds of the deceased are stored—and the woman is forced, for the first time, to endeavor to understand her mother. In a future utopian society where gene selection has been made uniform and all those with imperfections are cast aside, one woman seeks the truth about the history of her isolated world. And when a young woman undertakes a never-before-accomplished journey through a wormhole, she must reckon with the legacy of her aunt, who vanished mysteriously days before she was meant to begin the same pilgrimage. About Anton Hur: A translator and author working in Seoul. Born in Stockholm, Sweden, and raised in British Hong Kong, Ethiopia, and Thailand, but mostly in Korea. Author of Toward Eternity (HarperVia) and No One Told Me Not To (Across Books). Repped by Safae El-Ouahabi at RCW. This week’s picks: Anton: The Secret Lives of Church Ladies by Deesha Philyaw Tracy: Milk Oolong Full-Leaf Tea Patrick: Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End (Netflix) Links: Anton Hur on Instagram Tracy Townsend on BluSky Patrick Hester on Instagram The Functional Nerds Patreon Page © 2026 Patrick Hester The post Episode 701-With Anton Hur appeared first on The Functional Nerds.

    51 min

  6. Apr 28

    Episode 700-With Jeremy Szal

    This week on the podcast, Patrick and Tracy welcome Jeremy Szal, author of WOLFSKIN. About WOLFSKIN: Vakov Fukasawa is a Reaper. An elite soldier injected with a dangerous drug called stormtech: the DNA of a genocidal alien race, the Shenoi. It makes him stronger, faster, more aggressive. At a price. A price that, if the House of Suns cult and the dangerous Shenoi alien race behind it, isn’t stopped, all of humanity will have to pay… About Jeremy Szal: Jeremy Szal was born in 1995 and was raised by wild dingoes, which should explain a lot. He writes dark science fiction of a character-driven, morally grey nature. His main series is The Common Trilogy, which includes STORMBLOOD, BLINDSPACE and WOLFSKIN, about a drug harvested from alien DNA that makes users permanently addicted to aggression and adrenaline. The books are published by Gollancz/Orion across nine territories. He carves out a living in Sydney, Australia with his family. He loves watching weird movies, collecting boutique gins, exploring cities, cold weather, and dark humour. Find him at various social media websites at @JeremySzal. This week’s picks: Jeremy: NO OTHER CHOICE (Movie) Tracy: Batman: The Adventures Continue (Comics) Patrick: Tidyboss Straightening Clips Set of 4 for 1 24×36 Battle Game Mat Links: Jeremy Szal on Instagram Tracy Townsend on BluSky Patrick Hester on Instagram The Functional Nerds Patreon Page © 2026 Patrick Hester The post Episode 700-With Jeremy Szal appeared first on The Functional Nerds.

    48 min

  7. Apr 14

    Episode 699-With Molly Tanzer

    This week on the podcast, Patrick and Tracy welcome Molly Tanzer, author of And Side by Side They Wander. About And Side by Side They Wander: For three hundred years, humanity’s greatest works of art have been on loan at the Greenwood Museum. It was finally time for them to come home…but the alien curators were disinclined to return them. Force was out of the question. Earth’s government was clear: They were not going to press the issue. So, all we had was guile and hubris to fuel our little intergalactic art heist. My old friend Tarquin was our leader, but not the captain. That was Tchik-tchik, though whether Tchik-tchik was our insectoid pilot’s name or species is still unclear to me. Misora, with her extremely illegal biotech mods, was our muscle. Jack was there to hack the security systems of the biggest museum in the galaxy. He was a sensynth, a sentient synthetic being, and the most powerful machine intelligence on Earth uncorrupted by alien technology. My name is Fennel Tycho. I’d like to tell you I was there because of my expertise in Art History. Truth is, I was there because without me, Jack would not have agreed to go. He was notorious for being difficult to work with—but it was a mistake to think I could make things any easier. About Molly Tanzer: Molly Tanzer is the author of five novels, two collections, and many works of short fiction. Her work has been nominated for the Locus Award, the British Fantasy Award, the Wonderland Book Award, and her official revival of the sword and sorcery heroine Jirel of Joiry has been nominated for the Robert E. Howard Society’s Costigan Award. Her novel Creatures of Charm and Hunger won the Colorado Book Award in 2021, and her work adapting manga for English-speaking audiences has been nominated for the American Manga Awards. This May, her novella And Side by Side They Wander will be published by Tordotcom. She lives close to Boulder, CO with her many houseplants. This week’s picks: Molly: Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End (Netflix) Tracy: Forest Shuffle (Card Game) Patrick: Hidden Wonders: Chessex Mystery Dice Sets Links: Molly Tanzer on BluSky Tracy Townsend on BluSky Patrick Hester on Instagram The Functional Nerds Patreon Page © 2026 Patrick Hester The post Episode 699-With Molly Tanzer appeared first on The Functional Nerds.

    1h 1m

  8. Mar 24

    Episode 698-With Tao Wong

    This week on the podcast, Patrick and Tracy welcome Tao Wong, author of The First Step. About The First Step: It is said that a journey of a thousand li begins with a single step… Long Wu Ying never expected to become a real cultivator, never dreamed of having the chance to train and develop wondrous martial arts skills and magic of his own. As a farmer’s son in a rural village, his days were spent studying, planting rice, and spending time with his friends. Fate, however, has different plans for him. Conscripted into the army and taken from everything he knows, Wu Ying’s chance observation of an incoming ambush prevents a bloody rout—and brings him to the attention of the powerful Verdant Green Waters sect, an elite school of cultivation. Invited to join the sect as a novice, Wu Ying is thrown into a world he is utterly unprepared for, one filled with demonic beasts, haughty nobles, and, most of all, the very real possibility of reaching immortality—if he’s brave enough to seize it. About Tao Wong: Tao Wong is the author of the A Thousand Li progression fantasy series and the System Apocalypse LitRPG series, among others. When he’s not writing and working, he’s practicing martial arts, reading, and dreaming up new worlds. He lives in Toronto, Canada. This week’s picks: Tao: The Longest Day in Chang’an (Chinese TV Show) Tracy: Takenoko (Board Game) Patrick: Paul McCartney: Man on the Run (Documentary) Links: Tao Wong on Instagram Tracy Townsend on BluSky Patrick Hester on Instagram The Functional Nerds Patreon Page © 2026 Patrick Hester The post Episode 698-With Tao Wong appeared first on The Functional Nerds.

    55 min
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4.8
out of 5
51 Ratings

About

The weekly podcast from author/blogger Patrick Hester and author/teacher Tracy Townsend

Information

  • Creator
    The Functional Nerds
  • Years Active
    2010 - 2026
  • Episodes
    100
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2010 - 2024 Patrick Hester
  • Show Website
    The Functional Nerds Podcast

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