This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, say a series of words to relax your mind, replace a hectic interior monologue, maybe lull you to sleep, hopefully quell the mental uproar just for a little while. Today: nicknames for woodlice AKA rolypoly bugs AKA slaters AKA all these other things; and a list of cheeses from Great Britain and Ireland. If you need to skip the woodlouse content, go to the 5 minutes 45 seconds mark, whereupon the cheese begins. Note: this is NOT a normal episode of the Allusionist, where you might learn something about language and your brain might be stimulated. The Tranquillusionist's purpose is to soothe your brain and for you to learn very little - perhaps just a couple of facts about woodlouse urination and a 9th-century saint. Visit theallusionist.org/cheesy-cheesybobs for a transcript and more information about cheese and woodlice. There's a collection of other Tranquillusionists at theallusionist.org/tranquillusionist, on themes including champion dogs, Australia's big things, gay animals, ex-constellations and more. Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus you get bonus written content including behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows: together we're watching the 2026 season of Great British Sewing Bee. For $5/month or above, get the ad-free version of the show. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. The Allusionist is sponsored by: • Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. • Quince, luxurious clothing and homewares without the markup. Go to quince.com/allusionist for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
