The Dad Manual

Tony Cooper
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Weekly

The Dad Manual is a fatherhood podcast hosted by Tony Cooper, featuring honest conversations with dads about the real, unfiltered journey of parenthood. This parenting podcast for dads explores everything from the excitement of being a first time dad to navigating the teenage years. As one of the best podcasts for expecting dads and experienced fathers alike, we dive deep into what it actually means to be a modern dad—the struggles, the growth, the mistakes, and the moments that change you forever. Whether you're looking for a new dad podcast or seasoned parenting wisdom, this family podcast delivers the honest guidance you won't find in books.

  1. 2h ago

    Ep 31: Perfectionism Made Him Great. Will It Break Him As A Dad?

    A former New York City Ballet principal dancer opens up about the fear underneath the joy of expecting his first child. Chase Finlay talks with Tony Cooper about the perfectionism that carried him from a childhood ballet studio to the world's biggest stages, and why that same drive could work against him as a father. They cover the difference between performing for approval and living in alignment, why presence stops time with your kids, and how recovery and honest relationships taught him to become his own cavalry instead of waiting to be rescued. Chase also shares his intentions for his baby shower, his hopes to raise a daughter free to imagine, and the advice he's giving himself for the first months of fatherhood. Key Takeaways Perfectionism can build a career and also work against you as a father if left uncheckedThe external pursuit of validation can be fulfilling, but internal alignment creates lasting fulfillmentRecovery and a healthy relationship helped reframe self-reliance: "I'm the cavalry"Presence is the antidote to feeling like time with your kids moves too fastPlay is a child's domain, and imagination is worth protecting from screens and self-consciousnessDoing your own personal work before becoming a parent is a gift you give your childrenA baby shower can be a celebration of the work both partners did on themselves, not just the babyBeing a firm, present, aware foundation for your partner matters as much as showing up physicallyIf you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/ 00:00 Cold open00:29 Meet Chase Finlay01:19 30 weeks into pregnancy01:35 Abundance and joy in pregnancy02:30 Fear of not being good enough03:24 Wanting everything to be perfect04:11 The evidence he'll be a great dad05:03 Chase's ballet career begins06:41 Principal dancer by 1907:32 External pursuit vs internal journey09:07 How he discovered dance11:40 Athletic and artistic, not fitting a box13:18 Tony's son finds DJing15:23 Watching your kid arrive at themselves17:24 Being flexible, not predicting the future18:13 Perfectionism: great for dance, risky for dad19:31 Living aligned with authenticity20:29 The shift from performing to real recovery21:14 Becoming his own cavalry22:19 Substance abuse and hitting bottom23:00 His wife calling him on his bullshit24:20 Alignment resolves inner conflict26:11 Doing the work before kids arrive27:27 His vision: presence as his top value29:28 Be what you want your kid to become30:07 Presence stops time32:30 Wanting to rebuild play and imagination34:22 What joy means to him now36:16 Planning the baby shower39:11 Celebrating the work, not just the baby40:08 Advice to himself for the first months41:13 Closing thoughts

    Ep 31: Perfectionism Made Him Great. Will It Break Him As A Dad?

  2. Jul 21

    Ep 30: Michael Prince On Community, Chaos, And Raising Three Kids

    A chance seat on a flight from Denver turned into a decades-long friendship, and a crash course in fatherhood. This week I sit down with my longtime friend Michael Prince to talk about the early terror of parenting a firstborn, the night his son started choking on steak at the dinner table, and why staying calm matters more than having the right answer. We get into raising a daughter after two sons, building a family culture around community and hospitality, teaching teenagers responsibility instead of just rules, and the regrets that come with parenting on the job. Michael's honesty about what he'd do differently makes this one worth sharing with any dad figuring it out as he goes. If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/ Key Takeaways: Staying calm in a crisis matters more than having the perfect response; overreacting fuels the fire.Parenting a firstborn often means learning through trial and error with no real playbook.Building community with other parents can be one of the most valuable supports of early fatherhood.Raising a daughter after sons requires learning new sensitivity and intentional one-on-one time.Teaching kids the "why" behind a task matters as much as giving them the easy solution.Discipline works best with clear boundaries paired with real communication, not control.Parenting doesn't end when kids move out; it just changes shape.Growing up with a highly accomplished parent can create a bar that's hard to know you've cleared.Family culture, whether it's music, hospitality, or hosting, gets passed down whether you plan it or not.Every parent carries regrets; what matters is staying self-aware enough to adjust.00:00 Cold open00:42 Meet Michael Prince01:18 How Tony and Michael met02:05 The flight that changed everything03:10 Becoming each other's sanity04:13 Babymoon gone sideways04:52 The terror of a firstborn06:02 Self-conscious in public with kids07:16 Learning to stay calm08:54 Burning the first batch09:21 Kervin's strong will11:18 The steak-choking story13:06 Adrenaline and instinct14:06 Growing up with a high-bar dad16:21 Living up to his father17:02 Parenting patterns we repeat19:51 Deciding to have a third20:35 Fear of the unknown gender21:15 What changed with a daughter22:24 Raising Josie differently23:08 Daddy-daughter dates27:37 Building a community, not just friends30:07 Teenage independence and curfews32:20 Parenting never really stops33:49 Teaching kids the hard way36:41 Setting red lines, not rules37:24 Teaching responsibility with alcohol40:05 Advice for hesitant dads41:17 Finding your way without a manual43:37 Final wisdom for new dads44:53 A message to Kervin

    Ep 30: Michael Prince On Community, Chaos, And Raising Three Kids

  3. Jul 14

    Ep 29: Raising British Kids Across an Ocean, With Alton Byrd

    Alton Byrd grew up without a father, then raised two kids across an ocean while playing pro basketball in the UK. This one is about figuring it out with no manual. Alton joins Tony to talk about a fatherhood honestly. He's talks about the divorce, about the years he lived a plane ride away from his children, and about what he got wrong. What comes through is hard-won and simple: kids don't remember the stuff you buy them, they remember your time. What you'll take from this episode: Why "what they want is your time" is the lesson that took him longest to learnParenting from a distance after a divorce, and owning your part in itRaising kids who are "very different" without comparing themMoving from parent-of-children to parent-of-adults, and letting them leadThe three things he'd tell any father: listen, listen to what they aren't saying, and love them no matter whatIf you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/ 00:00 Cold open: what they really want00:29 Meet Alton Byrd02:00 British kids and the name Miles07:30 Did he always want to be a dad?09:30 Growing up without a father13:30 Traveling the world with a baby17:40 Why kids talk about mom22:40 Figuring out fatherhood alone26:00 The divorce and owning his part28:00 The hardest lesson: time over things33:50 When your kids become adults42:40 "You owe me nothing"43:40 Advice for dads in transition

    Ep 29: Raising British Kids Across an Ocean, With Alton Byrd

  4. Jul 7

    Ep 28: How Getting Sober Made Jay Vincent the Father He Never Had

    What does it take to become the father you never had? Jay Vincent joins me for one of the most honest conversations we've had on the show. Jay grew up idolizing a dad who slid into alcoholism and walked out when Jay was 15, and for years Jay repeated the pattern, through addiction, two DUIs, and the day he came home to an empty house after his kids' mother left. This is the story of how he climbed back. In this episode: how childhood shapes the dads we become, breaking a generational cycle of addiction, the night everything changed, getting sober and staying sober for 14 years, rebuilding trust with kids who barely knew him, parenting traumatized teenagers, and why doing the inner work is the real job of fatherhood. If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.  Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/ 00:00 A hard-won lesson: kids absorb everything00:29 Meet Jay Vincent, girl dad02:03 Becoming a girl dad05:44 Jay's childhood and his father09:33 When a hero slides into alcoholism10:53 The dad who left at 1512:01 An angry teenager finds the dark side14:00 Five miscarriages and the road to Kirsten17:58 Bringing a child into a fighting home21:03 The definition of fatherhood21:36 Coming home to an empty house24:07 Losing his kids and hitting bottom25:04 Two DUIs and the cop who kept showing up27:16 The night he cried out for help28:49 Fourteen years sober30:22 Doing it for his kids, then for himself33:33 Showing up across state lines34:00 Finding purpose in a fathers' recovery group46:26 Advice for parents in a struggling relationship49:22 Closing thoughts

    Ep 28: How Getting Sober Made Jay Vincent the Father He Never Had

  5. Jun 30

    Ep 27: Put on Your Mask First — Nick DeMarinis on Being the Dad You Want to Be

    Most dads ease into fatherhood one kid at a time. Nick DeMarinis skipped that part. He found out he was having identical twin boys while living in Hong Kong, 8,000 miles from family. In this episode, Nick shares the blueprint he built for present, intentional fatherhood: setting expectations with employers so he never misses what matters, co-parenting as a true team, and taking care of himself first so he has something real to give. From WeWork's turnaround to a PopAShot national championship, Nick proves you don't have to sacrifice the dad you want to be. Key takeaways: How Nick's parents — a bread man and a teacher from New York — gave him a clear blueprint for fatherhoodWhy moving back from Hong Kong with twin infants taught him the power of structure and disciplineHow radical transparency with employers creates space for the dad commitments that matterThe "survive and advance" mindset that got him and his wife through the first year with twinsWhy intentional one-on-one time with each twin is one of the most underrated things twin parents can doWhat his son Max's act of compassion toward a crying classmate told him about the dad he's becomingHow the PopAShot national championship became a lesson in resilience and creativity for his boysThe oxygen mask principle — why taking care of yourself first is the most selfless thing a dad can doIf you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/ 00:00 Nick introduces himself as Max and Luca's dad02:15 Why the podcast format resonated with Nick right away05:00 Growing up one of six kids in an Irish Italian Catholic family08:30 Mom's compassion and adventure, dad's discipline and relationships12:00 Moving to Hong Kong with LinkedIn — six years abroad14:30 Finding out they're having identical twin boys17:00 Seeing parenting in his older siblings — adoption, cerebral palsy, presence21:00 The kind of dad Nick declared he would be from the start24:30 Never missing a single pregnancy appointment27:00 Paternity leave — being there for Diana, not just the babies29:30 Moving back to the US, joining WeWork, the wild ride begins33:00 Transparency at work — "the best job I've ever had is being a dad"36:30 Creating the conditions you want instead of accepting default ones40:00 Co-parenting as a team — playing to each other's strengths44:00 The first year with twins: structure, survival, and celebrate every win49:30 Max helping a crying classmate — the proudest dad moment53:00 Luca as the voice of reason in a heated disagreement55:30 Advice for twin parents: intentional one-on-one time58:30 PopAShot: from shy crybaby to national championship competitor64:00 Two Guinness World Records — 232 consecutive shots, 103-foot shot68:00 What the boys have learned watching Nick compete, fail, and try again72:00 Final advice: put on your oxygen mask first

    Ep 27: Put on Your Mask First — Nick DeMarinis on Being the Dad You Want to Be

  6. Jun 23

    Ep 26: One Dad's Honest Take on Anger, Divorce, and Showing Up

    What happens when a dad of three daughters confronts the anger he inherited? Tony sits down with his brother Evan Cooper, father to Rachel, Pia, and Evie, for one of the most personal conversations yet. Evan opens up about the girl-dad learning curve, the moment he realized he was passing his own childhood wounds to his kids, and the practice he calls equanimity. They get real about staying married versus co-parenting, and how cooking and entrepreneurship shaped his daughters. Key takeaways: Why "three under two" reshaped everything about their parentingRecognizing and interrupting generational patterns of yellingEquanimity: staying composed instead of reacting to chaosThe honest debate over staying together for the kidsHow cooking became a way to connect with his daughtersWhy watching your child in pain is a dad's hardest momentEmotional intelligence as the real preparation for fatherhoodIf you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/ 00:00 If you can't hear the kids00:34 Meet my brother Evan Cooper02:00 Three daughters, three under two04:30 Liquid gold and dividing the nights06:30 Man-to-man and the power play08:00 The girl-dad learning curve11:00 Doing the research, missing the rest14:00 Generational anger and yelling17:30 Equanimity and staying composed20:30 The moment it broke my heart23:00 Staying married or co-parenting28:00 What the girls actually took from it31:30 Cooking as a way to connect34:00 Entrepreneurship and a different work life36:00 The hardest part: watching them hurt38:00 Advice for a brand-new dad

    Ep 26: One Dad's Honest Take on Anger, Divorce, and Showing Up

  7. Jun 16

    Ep 25: From Chaos to Peace: A Journey to Becoming a Great Stepdad

    What if the most qualified stepdad in the room is the one who almost didn't make it out alive? Andrew Adams didn't plan on becoming a parent. He didn't plan 12 years of opiate addiction, multiple overdoses, or a near-fatal car accident on a highway at 75 miles per hour. But today, Andrew is stepfather to three kids, engaged to the man he loves, and one of the most grounded human beings I've had the privilege of sitting across from. Key Takeaways: Why the sudden loss of structure at age 11 became the catalyst for Andrew's years-long addiction spiralHow a neurodivergent brain chasing relief through drugs becomes a 12-year trap.Why "neutrality" is not indifference and how it became Andrew's superpower as a stepdadThe danger of entering parenthood to "fix" something in yourself and the resentment it breedsHow eight-plus years of deep personal work across 12-step programs, yoga, and spiritual practice transformed Andrew into the partner and father figure he is todayWhy Andrew never tries to discipline Dylan's kids and what he does insteadThe two-lane framework Andrew uses with children (and coaching clients alike): vision or fear, pick a directionHow to let your relationship with stepchildren build organically without pressureWhy kids who feel like a burden are usually carrying energy their parents chose to put on themThe single best piece of advice for anyone stepping into a stepparent role: take it slow, and let them come to youThis is a fatherhood podcast episode about what it actually takes to show for yourself first, and then for the family that finds its way to your door. If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/ 00:00 Andrew on knowing — or not — you want kids01:28 Tony introduces Andrew's full story02:37 Childhood, a pastor dad, and sudden freedom at 1105:02 Why drugs worked: silencing a neurodivergent brain06:02 The escalation to opiates and heroin08:54 Twelve years on and off — what that loop looked like11:34 The car accident that finally broke through13:15 What it takes to get a real wake-up call15:14 Eight years of rebuilding across every modality17:10 Forging peace through lived experience18:44 Peace is a choice — and a remembrance20:36 Consciousness, ego, and leading with love22:01 Meeting Dylan — and the three kids in the package23:28 Why "neutral" scared Dylan at first25:45 Loving people through what they believe is an obstacle28:30 Entering stepparenting with no force, only presence30:40 Two choices, always — how Andrew guides children31:26 Getting to be the fun one (and what that's built on)33:24 The cool uncle role: someone to talk to who isn't mom or dad35:51 Kids add to a full life — they don't complete it38:06 When parents hold a belief that kids are taking something from them40:01 Advice for anyone stepping into stepparenting42:12 Tony closes the conversation

    Ep 25: From Chaos to Peace: A Journey to Becoming a Great Stepdad

  8. Jun 9

    Ep 24: The Dad Who Chose to Break a Family Legacy of Alcoholism Forever

    What does it take for a father to stare down rock bottom and choose his children? I sat down with visual artist, author, and winemaker Jermaine Dante Burs for one of the most honest, raw, and redemptive conversations I've ever had on this fatherhood podcast. Jermaine grew up watching addiction ripple through three generations of his family. He became a young father at 23, all while fighting his own battle with alcoholism that eventually landed him on life support in the hospital. What followed is a story of extraordinary transformation. Key Takeaways: Why the pressure of being a young father accelerated Jermaine's addiction and what finally broke the cycleHow unlearning the inability to receive love was foundational to becoming a present fatherThe power of coaching your kids' sports and the emotional rollercoaster of watching them choose their own pathBreaking generational trauma: when addiction runs three generations deep, becoming sober is an act of fatherhoodThe moment Jermaine's father told him "I'll always be your dad" and why he now says the same thing to his own kidsWhy fathers teach their children most powerfully in the moments they aren't trying to teach anything at allHow 14 years of sobriety unlocked Jermaine's career as a celebrated visual artist, a gift his kids now get to witnessThe courage it takes to apologize to your own children and what it teaches them about accountabilityWhy society consistently undervalues fathers, and what dads can do about itWhat it means to be "the only man on the planet who wants you to do better than me"This is a parenting podcast for the dad who's willing to do the work: on himself, for his family, and for the generations that come after. If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/ 00:00 Cold open: 14 years sober, no looking back01:10 Tony introduces Jermaine Dante Burs03:27 Jermaine's kids: Natalia (22) and Jordan (17)05:04 Why receiving love was so hard to learn08:14 Addiction forms quietly — a compounding interest10:14 Becoming a young dad and altering reality12:19 Showing up: assistant coach for Jordan's varsity team14:34 The emotional rollercoaster of coaching your own son17:17 Using his father's parenting as a mirror18:12 What it was like growing up with a father who was both20:33 "I'll always be your dad" — the lesson that landed twice23:11 Ask first: do you want to listen, or do you want advice?25:32 Teaching your son to sit in discomfort27:06 Why Jermaine apologizes to his kids — often30:04 Generational addiction: grandfather, father, Jermaine32:53 Watching his father relapse after 13 years of sobriety35:13 Living a double life while Natalia visited37:14 What alcoholism actually does to your body40:26 Highly functional — and still a father — through addiction41:00 The pros and cons list of who he wanted to be as a dad43:08 Rock bottom: life support and the audit that followed45:58 Art is rediscovered after leaving the hospital48:19 15 years away from the paintbrush — then sobriety changed it50:28 Sugar Ray Leonard and Anthony Anderson — moments made possible by sobriety52:22 "I'm the only man on the planet who wants you to do better than me"55:42 Watching Jordan win the league championship — and leaking57:42 Dad won't always be here: lessons in supply and demand58:21 Mother's Day vs. Father's Day: the hospitality truth1:01:07 Fathers play a massive role — and deserve to be praised1:03:11 Tony closes: gratitude, love, and until next time

    Ep 24: The Dad Who Chose to Break a Family Legacy of Alcoholism Forever
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

The Dad Manual is a fatherhood podcast hosted by Tony Cooper, featuring honest conversations with dads about the real, unfiltered journey of parenthood. This parenting podcast for dads explores everything from the excitement of being a first time dad to navigating the teenage years. As one of the best podcasts for expecting dads and experienced fathers alike, we dive deep into what it actually means to be a modern dad—the struggles, the growth, the mistakes, and the moments that change you forever. Whether you're looking for a new dad podcast or seasoned parenting wisdom, this family podcast delivers the honest guidance you won't find in books.

Information

  • Creator
    Tony Cooper
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    32
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Tony Cooper

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