Have you ever felt emotionally attached to someone you weren’t actually in a relationship with? Or caught yourself romanticizing a past connection—while feeling dissatisfied in your current one? In this episode, Angela sits down with journalist and author Amanda McCracken to talk about limerence—an intense state of longing that can masquerade as love, but often thrives on fantasy, distance, and emotional safety rather than real intimacy. As part of her research for When Longing Becomes Your Lover, Amanda revisited old letters and memorabilia from past relationships and noticed how nostalgia reignited emotional attachment—even showing up in her dreams. Together, Angela and Amanda explore how longing for the past, parasocial relationships, and modern romantic fantasy can quietly undermine present-day connection, including marriage. This conversation is not about shame or fear—it’s about awareness, naming what’s happening in our inner worlds, and choosing presence over fantasy. In this episode, we discuss: What limerence is—and how it differs from love, attraction, or commitment How nostalgia rewrites the past and fuels dissatisfaction in the present The rise of BookTok, romantasy, and parasocial relationships Why fantasy relationships require no vulnerability or accountability How limerence can exist inside marriage—even “good” marriages How Purity Culture contributed to longing & limerence Practical ways to disrupt limerence without shaming yourself If this episode feels uncomfortable or hits close to home, that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It may simply mean something important is being named for the first time. Gentle note to listeners: If this episode feels uncomfortable or hits close to home, that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It may simply mean something important is being named for the first time. About our guest Amanda McCracken is an award-winning journalist and the author of When Longing Becomes Your Lover. Her work explores limerence, longing, dating culture, and emotional vulnerability in a world shaped by fantasy and avoidance. You can learn more about Amanda and her book in the links below. Want more support? If you’re noticing unexplained dissatisfaction in your marriage or struggling to stay present in your relationship, Angela offers coaching and tools designed to help couples build real, sustainable intimacy—emotional, spiritual, and sexual. Resources & Links: When Longing Becomes Your Lover by Amanda McCracken Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love by Dorothy Tennov Smitten, by Dr. Tom Bellamy Amanda's WebsiteFacebookInstagramTikTok To support me, The Christian Sexpert, make sure you are checking out all of my resources, and of course, a Cash App gift helps me do all these things you love! WebsiteBook Coaching with Angela Facebook TikTok Instagram YouTube Podcast Patreon CashApp $TheChristianSexpert Note: These show notes contain external links to products and services. The Christian Sexpert may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.
