Getting Close

Aidan Wharton

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Getting Close is an intimate exploration of how we connect, love, and build relationships in the modern world. Each week, host Aidan Wharton sits down with culture-shaping voices to give you practical insights from honest conversations about relationships, Queerness, sex, connection, and community. gettingclosepod.substack.com

PRIJE 1 H

Gay Ass Podcast Host: The Gay Ass Art of A Good Question

If you’ve ever sat in an awkward silence, wondering what to ask next, or left a conversation wishing you’d known how to go deeper, this episode will change how you talk to people. In this episode, Eric Williams joins us to explore what separates a good question from a bad one, why our digital world is making us worse at curiosity, and how the way you ask questions shapes everything from your first date to your longest relationship. Eric Williams is the host of That’s A Gay Ass Podcast and has interviewed icons like Dan Savage, Lisa Rinna, and Kathy Griffin. He’s also a solo performer in the middle of touring his solo show, Why All The Drama? He also just happens to be one of the most gifted conversationalists I know. We unpack: 🟡 What actually makes a good question and why it matters 🟡 Why you think you’re asking enough questions, but you aren’t. 🟡 The surprising link between asking good questions and being good in bed. 🟡 What questions actually sustain a long term relationship. 🟡 The one question everyone in an open relationship needs to ask. If you’ve ever sat in that awkward silence wondering what to say next, this one’s for you. Follow Along Follow Eric on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericwillz Follow Eric on Substack: Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

56 min
17. OŽU

Trans Thought Leader: The Complex Politics of Being a Man

What can gay men learn from trans men? In this episode of Getting Close, I sit down with my friend Sandy for a very vulnerable conversation about how trans men and cis men exist within the gay community. We dive into masculinity, privilege, and what compassionate inclusion can look like in our spaces. Sandy Gooen is a published and produced writer. He’s currently developing a musical called Twink Piece. He also runs TEMPO (@theetempo), which is an organization for Trans music professionals. His professional and academic background is mostly music and theater, but in his free time, he focuses a lot on gender and LGBT topics. At the root of Sandy’s work is the desire to cultivate belonging and understanding! We get into * Which conversations about transness are oversaturated * Which conversations about transness still need to happen * What gay men don’t know about the trans experience * The different ways that masculinity affects us all * And why gay men only talk to people they’re attracted to, and how to start to change that. Follow Along! Follow Sandy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/silentwhat Follow Sandy on Substack: Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod Chapters (00:00) Introduction (05:20) Growing Up Masculine (10:40) The Early Signs of Difference (16:00) Exploring Gender (21:50) The Carving Out A Space in NYC (27:10) Navigating Gay Spaces as a Trans Man (32:40) The Unspoken Social Rules Inside Queer Spaces (38:00) Why We’re Afraid to Talk About Trans Experiences (43:30) Who Gets to Define Masculinity (49:30) What Connection Between Men Can Look Like This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

54 min
10. OŽU

Gay Intimacy Researcher: The Hidden Rules of Hookup Culture

How has the internet changed gay s*x, consent, and intimacy? In this episode, Andrew Restieri joins me to discuss the complexities of digital intimacy within gay culture. We discuss how everyone has differing rules about consent, the economy of nude photos, who owns a nude once it’s sent, the rise of hookup apps, and how they affect our in-person experiences. Andrew Restieri is a PhD candidate at Cornell whose research broadly centers on the use of digital technology to facilitate online communities, especially for queer people. His dissertation examines the online sexual practices of gay men and how those practices challenge conventional understandings of intimacy and consent. He also holds a master’s from Johns Hopkins University and a BA from Northwestern. We unpack: 🟡 The “economy of nudes” that exists in gay culture. 🟡 Why consent online is almost impossible to define. 🟡 The uncomfortable question: who owns a nude once it’s sent? 🟡 Why digital intimacy and real-life intimacy may now be the same thing. 🟡 The surprising reason some men send unsolicited nudes. 🟡 The real question behind every app interaction: what do we owe each other? If you’ve ever taken a nude, this episode’s for you. Chapters (00:00) Introduction (02:40) Connection Questions and Personal Insights (04:40) Research Focus: Gay Men’s Digital Practices (07:52) Understanding Consent and Privacy in Digital Spaces (10:08) The Economy of Nudes: Value and Exchange (12:56) Digital vs. In-Person Intimacy: A Blurred Line (15:45) Impact of Hookup Apps on Gay Male Intimacy (18:36) Consent and Boundaries in Digital Interactions (21:12) The Politics of Ownership and Consent (24:32) Navigating Consent in a Diverse Landscape (26:57) Class Politics and Digital Intimacy (33:15) Navigating Boundaries in Gay Digital Spaces (39:24) The Role of Digital Tools in Gay Connections (44:40) Flirting and Intimacy in the Modern Age (47:10) Curiosities and Community Connections Follow Along! Follow Andrew: https://www.instagram.com/andrewrestieri Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

53 min
3. OŽU

Poly-Queer Therapist: How Your Discomfort is Key to Happier Relationships

What if I told you discomfort was the secret to better relationships? In this episode, Rachel Wright joins me to talk about the fascinating way that discomfort can help you have better relationships of any structure. We explore the nuances of modern friendship, letting people down, secret patterns running our relationships, monogamy unlearnings, and the unique way gay couples are more likely to be open vs. poly. Rachel Wright is a distinguished psychotherapist and renowned speaker with expertise in modern relationships, mental health, and sex. With a Master’s Degree in clinical psychology, Rachel has worked with thousands of clients worldwide and has been featured in The New York Times, Women’s Health, Cosmo and more. Rachel currently lives in New York City with her wife and two kids. We unpack: * How to let people down healthily * What gay couples need to do to practice openness better * How ingrained patterns shape shapes the way we love * How non-monogamy can show up in our youth before we have language for it * Whether or not nonmonogamy is a orientation or a preference * And how expanding our distress tolerance can change the way we approach openness Chapters (00:00) Introduction (02:28) Exploring Healthy Communication in Relationships (14:37) The Journey to Becoming a Therapist (17:53) Reflections on Non-Monogamy and Youth Experiences (22:42) Core Beliefs About Relationships and Non-Monogamy (25:00) Unlearning Monogamy and Embracing Discomfort (27:19) Navigating Discomfort in Relationships (29:42) Understanding Non-Monogamy as an Orientation (32:27) Timing and Trust in Non-Monogamous Conversations (34:22) Unpacking Emotional Scripts in Non-Monogamy (37:45) Language and Representation in Non-Monogamous Relationships (42:45) Emotional Depth in Gay Relationships (45:11) Building Distress Tolerance in Non-Monogamy (48:52) Exploring Non-Monogamous Literature (51:39) Celebrating Diverse Relationships and Community Follow Along! Follow Rachel: https://www.instagram.com/thewright_rachel Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

55 min
24. VELJ

Andrew Keenan Bolger: The Power of Queer Storytelling & Why It Matters Now

If you could go back in time to Queer, 1996, New York, would you? In this episode, Andrew Keenan-Bolger joins me to do just that through his debut novel Limelight. We unpack why telling queer stories is urgent in this political climate, the importance of chosen family, banned books, magical realism, and what we owe our Queer ancestors. Andrew Keenan-Bolger is an actor, director, author, and filmmaker who starred as Jesse Tuck in Tuck Everlasting and Crutchie in the Newsies on Broadway, among many others. Along with his collaborator, Kate Weatherhead, though, he is the co-creator of the critically acclaimed web series Submissions Only and co-author of the children’s series Jack and Louisa. He is also the author of the upcoming novel, Limelight. We explore: 🟡 What it was like coming of age in post-AIDS New York. 🟡 The difference between discomfort and being unsafe. 🟡 Why writing flawed queer characters is essential. 🟡 What book bans actually cost young people these days. 🟡 And how to find and build chosen family later in life. Chapters (00:00 Introduction to Connection and Literature (02:21) Andrew’s Journey and Background (07:04) The Inspiration Behind Limelight (11:21) Exploring Queer History and Identity (18:34) The Role of Magical Realism in Storytelling (23:20) The Importance of Community and Connection (28:06) Navigating Challenges in Queer Literature (32:12) Writing Flawed Characters and Growth (37:14) Surprises in the Writing Process (42:08) Fun and Personal Insights (45:21) Final Thoughts and Community Engagement Follow Along! Follow Andrew: https://instagram.com/keenanblogger Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

52 min
17. VELJ

Gay Relationship Coach: You’re Doing Dating Backwards & Here’s How to Fix It

Are you fed up with modern dating? In this episode, that’s not just for singles, Trevor Kuhn discusses the challenges of modern courtship, why conflict is essential for relationships, the pitfalls of AI in dating, and why expectations are keeping you single. Trevor Kuhn is a love and relationship coach and matchmaker for gay and queer men. He helps them shift old patterns and build deeper, more intentional connections through 1-on-1 coaching, group workshops, engaging social content, and live events. He explains: 🟡 Simple steps to talk to people in person again. 🟡 Why conflict is essential in any relationship. 🟡 How expectations are the #1 thing keeping folks single. 🟡 Why you should delete Grindr. 🟡 The essential work you must do before and during a relationship. P.S. The easiest way for you to get involved: If you haven’t already, please take 20 seconds to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and/or YouTube! It really is the most helpful thing you can do besides listening and telling your friends! Chapters (00:00) Introduction (04:25) How Trev Became A Relationship Coach (10:05) First Date Tips (11:46) Unique Challenges of Modern Gay Dating (14:38) Why Vulnerability is Essential in Dating (16:52) Practical Pick-Up Tips (21:34) How Trev Found Love Through Instagram (25:03) Why You Should Delete Grindr (28:16) AI in Dating Apps (32:07) Our Speed Dating Experience (37:29) How To Prepare for Relationships (38:27) Why You Should Ask Your Friends About Relationships (39:01) Cultivating Belonging and Personal Growth (40:49) Values and Communication in Relationships (43:11) Navigating Conflict and Communication Styles (44:28) Curiosity and Connection in Loneliness (47:10) Community and Collective Action Follow Along! Follow Trevor: https://instagram.com/lovedaddytrev Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

50 min
10. VELJ

Valentine's Special: Behind The Scenes of Our Love Story

My husband CASEY GARVIN and I dive deep into our own relationship, answering questions from listeners about our journey, our love, and our openness over the past eight years. On this episode, we get deep about: * The unique ways that we navigate and heal from conflict. * Who proposed to whom. * How we planned our atypical wedding. * How we learned to embrace jealousy in our open relationship. * What our personal rules around openness are. * How we navigate sexual health. * And some fun things, like our favorite things about each other. P.S. The easiest way for you to get involved: If you haven’t already, please take 20 seconds to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and/or YouTube! It really is the most helpful thing you can do besides listening and telling your friends! Chapters (00:00) Intro (01:37) Our Six Questions to Fall In Love (08:31) How We Met & Our First Date (13:23) Why We Broke Up (18:09) Why We Broke Up (19:05) Our Proposal Story (21:42) How We Planned Our Atypical Wedding (29:39) How We Navigate Conflict (32:37) How Our Relationship Exists Online (37:17) How We Practice Openness (39:28) Navigating Sexual Health and STIs (41:54) How We Deal With Jealousy (48:05) Flirting With Other People (52:53) Casey’s Question Bonanza! Follow Along! Follow Casey: https://bit.ly/3NY8jya Follow Aidan: https://bit.ly/4sRSpoX Follow Getting Close: https://bit.ly/4jW9Ro8 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

1 h
3. VELJ

Top Epstein Investigator: How to Find The Truth and Build Community Through Independent Journalism!

Top Epstein Investigator ELLIE LEONARD explains how she dissects every page of the Epstein files, how she balances being a parent amidst the chaos, and how she builds a community of like-minded truth seekers that YOU can be a part of. Ellie Leonard is an author, editor, small-business owner, and contributor for Blue Amp Media. Recently, she’s made a name for herself as she pores over every document in the Epstein Files with the incredible community she’s built on Substack. On this episode, we get into: * The importance of community in uncovering the truth. * How AI and social media have disrupted traditional media. * How to re-engage with the news by finding voices you trust. * How to find common ground in political discussions. * Essential Tips for Online Security. * And how hope and optimism can coexist within today’s harsh reality. P.S. The easiest way for you to get involved: If you haven’t already, please take 20 seconds to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and/or YouTube! It really is the most helpful thing you can do besides listening and telling your friends! Chapters (00:00) Introduction (04:52) Ellie’s Unexpected Path to Epstein (08:07) Raising Politically Aware Children (10:00) Balancing Work and Family Life (14:50) Democratizing Investigative Journalism (18:23) How You Can Get Involved (20:08) What’s In The New Files (21:47) Finding The Receipts & Catching Their Lies (23:51) How Epstein Connects to Minneapolis (26:19) How to Start Tuning In Again (28:27) Conversations Across Political Lines (30:25) Why Aidan Gets Scared of Asking Questions (33:40) How America Comes Together Again (35:54) Check Out These Independent Journalists (39:46) Must-Know Tips to Stay Safe Online (TikTok & Ring Cameras) (44:47) Ending with Hope & Optimism (47:26) Ellie’s 3C’s (48:32) The Trans Festival in Ellie’s Hometown (50:55) Outro Follow Along! Follow Ellie: https://bit.ly/4jQFKON Follow Aidan: https://bit.ly/4sRSpoX Follow Getting Close: https://bit.ly/4jW9Ro8 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

53 min
27. SIJ

Nonbinary Icon: How to Embrace Your Authentic Self Through Grace & Joy

Nonbinary icon J HARRISON GHEE reveals how they balance queerness, religion, and spirituality, the power of finding grace and joy in challenging times, and how you can show up authentically even when everyone is telling you to be someone else. J Harrison Ghee is a Tony and Grammy Award winner who made history as the first nonbinary performer to win in a leading individual performance category. They’ve also appeared in numerous film/TV productions and is an outspoken advocate for the Queer community. On this episode, they explain: -How Drag helped them embrace their gender. -How Kinky Boots helped heal their family. -The four Inspiring Phrases to Realign Your Life. -What it felt like to win a Tony Award. -How to let go of what doesn’t serve you in order to move forward. P.S. The easiest way for you to get involved: If you haven’t already, please take 20 seconds to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and/or YouTube! It really is the most helpful thing you can do besides listening and telling your friends! Chapters (00:00) Intro (02:52) Growing Up Queer in North Carolina (07:59) Balancing Queerness & Religion (11:46) Navigating Parents As Adult Children (16:39) J’s Start in New York (20:25) Doing Drag in Japan (22:57) Evolving Gender Through Drag (24:47) Cruise Ships & Kinky Boots (26:37) How Kinky Boots Healed J’s Family (31:10) Mrs. Doubtfire: The Musical (33:42) Some Like It Hot (39:14) What it Feels Like to Make History & Win The Tony (42:24) Navigating Grief & Joy (44:22) How to Find Grace (46:41) The Challenges of Letting Go (48:55) Imagination is A Queer Superpower (51:47) What Are J’s 3C’s? Follow Along! Follow J: https://bit.ly/4jQFKON Follow Aidan: https://bit.ly/4sRSpoX Follow Getting Close: https://bit.ly/4jW9Ro8 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

56 min
20. SIJ

Sex & Relationships Expert: How to Connect With Your Honest Feelings in Bed & in Life

Hi friends, and welcome back to Getting Close! The response from y’all this whole past week has been so beautifully moving. Thank you to everyone who reached out, shared, Restacked, reviewed, etc. As I wrote here, putting something like this out into the world is so vulnerable, and you all have lifted me up in the most encouraging way. I really think this project is going to do incredible things, and I can’t wait to continue building it with you. The easiest way for you to get involved: If you haven’t already, please take 20 seconds to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and/or YouTube! It really is the most helpful thing you can do besides listening and telling your friends! Episode 2 - Shadeen Francis I met Shadeen at a Hinge event a few months ago, and after listening to her talk, I knew instantly that I wanted her on the pod. Everything she said during the panel oozed wisdom in a way that was profound, yet accessible. So, when she agreed to come on the show, I was delighted. I had so many questions prepared, and our conversation took so many beautiful turns with so many incredible insights. We get into: * Whether or not we’re in a sex recession * How folks use TherapyTalk to create distance rather than bridge it * This deeply unsettling way AI is infiltrating our relationships * Why you can get off alone, but not with other people * A surprising way porn is affecting your sex life. * Tips to revive sex in a long-term relationship * This one trait that the most successful open relationships have Bonus Content! Then, if you want even more of our talk that I had to cut for time, paid subscribers get access to bonus content questions, and the Subscriber Chat, where you can submit your own questions for future guests! Bonus content with Shadeen includes: * Which book(s) to read to better your relationships. * The surprising benefit of being a benchwarmer on a winning team. * How Aidans’ concept of friendship has changed due to social media. * Shadeen’s favorite small act of rebellion that she performs daily. Chapters * 00:00 Introduction and Background * 02:15 Who is Shadeen Francis? * 08:27 Why Each Generation Needs New Language * 10:13 Is Vulnerability Weak? * 11:07 Are We Using TherapySpeak Too Much? * 14:19 How to Navigate Loneliness * 17:06 Physical Pain Vs. Emotional Pain * 18:17 What Is Social Media Really Doing to Us? * 20:24 We’re Doing A Lot of Drugs * 22:51 Where Did Our Culture Go? * 26:08 How AI Affects Our Relationships * 30:41 Why I Get Angry on the Subway * 35:11 Are We In a Sex Recession? * 37:54 Navigating Sexual Anxiety * 46:17 Reigniting Passion in Long-Term Open Relationships * 52:43 Shadeen’s Curiosity, Connection, & Community ♥️ If you could, will you hit that heart right below? That boosts us in Substack’s algorithm! Thanks babe! ♥️ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

58 min
13. SIJ

Fitness Founder: Why Your Health Resolutions Fail & How to Make Them Stick!

Hello friends, and welcome to the very first episode of Getting Close! In this episode, fitness expert and tech entrepreneur Sam Leicht reveals how to make sustainable habits that stick, feel more comfortable in the gym, find community through fitness, connect with your body, and remember the importance of challenge in our modern world of ease. Sam Leicht is the founder of PrideFit, a LGBTQ+ fitness app for Queer folks and allies. His extensive fitness experience helps people all around the world build sustainable, lifetime fitness and build community along the way. We explore: * The necessity of community in fitness * Why starting small is crucial for building sustainable fitness habits. * How aesthetic goals can be paired with performance and health goals * A simple nutrition tip to improve your dietary habits. * How curiosity and growth can extend beyond fitness into all areas of life. Bonus Content! I feel very strongly that you’ll always get access to entire episodes of Getting Close for free! However, if you’re looking for more, paid subscribers get access to bonus content that I had to cut for time, but is wildly entertaining and informative. Paid subscribers also get access to the Subscriber Chat, where you can submit questions for future guests! Bonus content for this episode includes: * Sam’s #1 tool to cook meat * Aidan’s #1 anti-tech tool * The biggest misconceptions people have about us * What book Sam is challenging himself with right now This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

51 min
7. SIJ

Introducing: Getting Close

Aidan Wharton introduces his new podcast, 'Getting Close,' all about connection. With an incredible mix of guests, the show focuses on how to revive connection in our digitally disconnected world. Launching on January 13th. When connection feels far, we start by getting close. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

1 min

Broj epizoda: 12

Getting Close is an intimate exploration of how we connect, love, and build relationships in the modern world. Each week, host Aidan Wharton sits down with culture-shaping voices to give you practical insights from honest conversations about relationships, Queerness, sex, connection, and community. gettingclosepod.substack.com

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