On Attachment

Stephanie Rigg
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Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships. 

  1. #238: Can a Relationship Survive If Only One Person is Doing the Work? (Ask Steph)

    -3 ДН.

    #238: Can a Relationship Survive If Only One Person is Doing the Work? (Ask Steph)

    In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener question I hear often: If I work on my anxious attachment, but my partner doesn’t work on their avoidant patterns, can the relationship still work? I unpack why focusing on your side of the street is never a waste of time — even when your partner isn’t meeting you there yet. We talk about how healing anxious attachment isn’t about fixing the relationship or managing your partner’s behaviour, but about building self-regulation, self-trust, and clarity. I also explore the two most common outcomes of doing this work: either your internal shifts create healthier dynamics and positive ripple effects in the relationship, or you reach a grounded place of clarity about what you need and whether this relationship can meet you there. Either way, you don’t lose — you gain resources, confidence, and choice. This episode is for anyone who feels stuck waiting for their partner to change and is wondering whether it’s worth continuing to do the work alone.

    9 мин.
  2. #237: How Anxious & Avoidant People Differ Around Breakups

    -6 ДН.

    #237: How Anxious & Avoidant People Differ Around Breakups

    In this episode, we explore one of the most painful dynamics after a breakup: watching your ex seem “fine” while you feel completely unravelled — and the stories that comparison creates. We unpack why anxious and avoidant attachment patterns tend to process breakups so differently, and why those differences don’t mean what you think they mean. We look at how anxious attachment often shows up as hyperactivation — intense grief, rumination, urgency, and the need to understand what happened — and how avoidant attachment tends to deactivate under stress, sometimes resulting in relief, distraction, or moving on quickly. We also talk about the timing mismatch that can occur, where one person feels everything immediately and the other processes more slowly (or more superficially). The core takeaway: different coping strategies are not a measure of love, worth, or who cared more. And comparing your internal experience to their outward presentation will only keep you stuck. In this episode, we cover: Why comparison after a breakup fuels suffering for anxious attachersHow hyperactivation and deactivation shape the breakup experienceWhy relief doesn’t mean they didn’t careThe common “timing mismatch” in anxious–avoidant breakupsHow to shift your focus back to yourself instead of analysing themIf you’re going through a breakup, you can register for my free breakup training here.

    19 мин.
  3. #236: Coping With Separation Anxiety When Your Partner Is Away (Ask Steph)

    26 ФЕВР.

    #236: Coping With Separation Anxiety When Your Partner Is Away (Ask Steph)

    In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener who says they generally feel secure in their relationship — except when their partner travels and is physically away. During those periods, they experience intense separation anxiety, spiralling thoughts, and a sudden sense of insecurity that feels confusing and disproportionate. I talk about why distance and absence can be uniquely activating for anxiously attached nervous systems, even when a relationship is otherwise healthy and secure. We explore how separation can trigger old attachment wounds around abandonment, uncertainty, and loss of felt safety, and ways that you can support yourself both individually and relationally to better handle these challenges.

    8 мин.
  4. #235: What Attachment Theory Does (& Does Not) Explain

    24 ФЕВР.

    #235: What Attachment Theory Does (& Does Not) Explain

    Attachment theory has become a widely used framework for understanding relationship patterns — but it’s often misunderstood, overextended, or treated as a complete explanation for human behaviour. In this episode, I revisit the foundations of attachment theory to clarify what attachment is actually designed to explain, what attachment styles describe, and where the limits of the framework are. This is a back-to-basics conversation intended to bring nuance and accuracy to how we use attachment language — especially in romantic relationships. In this episode, I cover: What attachment styles are really describing: relational stress and our habitual responses to itWhy attachment styles are not fixed, mutually exclusive categories — and how spectrums work in practiceHow attachment patterns are contextually responsive and can shift across different relationshipsWhat attachment theory explains — and what it was never meant to explainHow our attachment blueprint shapes our internal working model, even beyond close relationshipsWhy attachment is best used as a tool, not a totalising explanation for yourself or othersIf you’ve ever felt confused, boxed in by attachment labels, or frustrated by how attachment theory is used online, this episode offers a clearer and more grounded way of thinking about it. Take my free attachment quiz

    16 мин.
  5. #234: What Makes an Avoidant Partner Feel Safe to Open Up? (Ask Steph)

    19 ФЕВР.

    #234: What Makes an Avoidant Partner Feel Safe to Open Up? (Ask Steph)

    In this Ask Steph episode, we explore one of the most common (and understandable) questions in anxious–avoidant dynamics: what actually helps an avoidant partner feel safe enough to open up emotionally? If you tend toward anxious attachment, it can feel deeply unsettling to sense that parts of your partner’s inner world are closed off to you. That can create a strong pull to try harder, ask more questions, or push for emotional access — often with the hope that if they open up, it will mean you’re finally “enough.” In this episode, we unpack why that instinct can backfire, and what genuinely supports emotional safety instead.

    7 мин.
  6. #233: How to Put an End to Situationships (Once & For All)

    17 ФЕВР.

    #233: How to Put an End to Situationships (Once & For All)

    Situationships can feel exciting and full of potential, but over time they often become a source of anxiety, confusion, and self-doubt. In this episode, I explore why situationships are so hard to walk away from — particularly for people with anxious attachment — and why clarity can feel more threatening than staying in something uncertain. We look at how hope, ambiguity, and emotional breadcrumbs keep people invested in connections that aren’t actually meeting their needs, and why “waiting to see what happens” is often a form of self-abandonment rather than patience. I also talk about the nervous-system dynamics at play, and how these situations can keep you stuck in a cycle of overthinking, longing, and self-doubt. This episode isn’t about forcing commitment or issuing ultimatums. It’s about building the self-trust and self-respect required to stop participating in dynamics that keep you in limbo, and learning how to choose relationships that offer consistency, clarity, and emotional safety. Links Register for my free training on How to Heal Anxious Attachment & Finally Feel Secure in Life & Love Visit my website

    14 мин.
  7. #232: Why Do I Miss My Ex Now That I’m Dating Someone New? (Ask Steph)

    12 ФЕВР.

    #232: Why Do I Miss My Ex Now That I’m Dating Someone New? (Ask Steph)

    In this Ask Steph episode, I’m answering a listener question about why old feelings can resurface when you re-enter the dating world, and what to do when that catches you off guard. In this episode, we explore: Why missing your ex after a breakup can show up later, not earlierHow dating again brings up fresh comparisons — and why that’s so normalThe difference between missing your ex and missing familiarity, comfort, or routineWhy comparing a new connection to a long-term relationship is often distortedHow not to spiral or make meaning out of these feelingsWhat to do instead of panicking or second-guessing your breakupIf you’re otherwise excited about someone new and this has thrown you, this episode is a reminder to slow down, stay grounded, and trust that this experience doesn’t have to mean anything is wrong. Links Going through a break-up? Register for my free breakup training here.If you’d like to submit a question for a future Ask Steph episode, I collect them via my weekly Instagram Q&A — come find me there and drop yours in.

    7 мин.
  8. #231: Why You Can't Love Someone Into Changing

    10 ФЕВР.

    #231: Why You Can't Love Someone Into Changing

    In this episode, we explore the belief that if someone truly loved you, they would have changed — and why this story so often keeps people stuck in self-blame, rescuing, and self-abandonment. We look at the saviour complex, how it develops, and why real change has far more to do with timing and capacity than with how lovable or devoted you are. In this episode, we cover: Why “if they loved me, they would’ve changed” is such a convincing storyHow the saviour complex shows up in relationshipsThe line between compassion and self-abandonmentWhy people change when they’re ready — not when we love harderIf this resonates, you can register for my free training on healing anxious attachment here.

    16 мин.
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Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships. 

Информация

  • Автор
    Stephanie Rigg
  • Годы выхода
    2022 - 2026
  • Выпуски
    238
  • Ограничения
    Без ненормативной лексики
  • Авторские права
    © Stephanie Rigg
  • Сайт подкаста
    On Attachment

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