UNDERSTANDABLE

Robert Siegers
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  • Mental Health
  • Updated weekly

► Hi, my name is Robert! For a long time, I wondered why relationships felt so much harder for me than for others. Over the past years, I had the privilege of spending thousands of dollars and countless hours working with four different therapists, exploring what actually creates emotional safety ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions. I am not a health professional. My content is based on research & my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for 3 years.

  1. 1 hr ago

    Healed Avoidant Reveals When an Avoidant Regrets Losing You (Actual Timeline)

    ► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! Here's the avoidant regret timeline. The actual one! ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 02:22 Before the Breakup 07:40 Stage One: Relief 13:32 Stage Two: Realization 17:17 Stage Three: New Normal 18:15 Stage Four: Idealizing 21:21 Stage Five: Actual Regret 23:43 What Regret Means 26:35 Your Healing Timeline ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    30 min

  2. 2 days ago

    Actual Avoidant: The Psychology of an Avoidant Man During No Contact

    ► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! Today I share the psychology of an avoidant man during the no contact phase with you. ► Links and Resources: Limerence Episode: https://youtu.be/gDz8U2zaF0A?si=yYn1F-uIbJS0mIWt ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 01:37 Two Types of Avoidants 02:45 The Self-Unaware Man 06:51 Self-Unaware No Contact Timeline 15:00 The Self-Aware Man 16:51 Self-Aware No Contact Timeline 22:33 Evaluating Your Relationship ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    25 min

  3. 5 days ago

    Avoidant or Narcissist? Healed Avoidant Explains How To Tell

    ► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In this video I explain how to tell if someone has narcissim or an avoidant attachment style. ► Links and Resources: Can Patients With Narcissistic Personality Disorder Change? Paper: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38949659/ Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Progress in Understanding and Treatment: https://psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/appi.focus.20220052 Earned Secure Attachment Paper: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/00332941241277495 Prevalence of Narcissism Paper: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20579503/ The first 10,000 Adult Attachment Interviews Paper: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19455453/ Deactivation Video: https://youtu.be/fi-wUf36e9k?si=MsjjB-DCVic0sUPY 8 Phases How I Healed Avoidant Attachment Patterns Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SrSolyrSCQ ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:49 How Many People are Avoidant vs. Narcissistic? 03:41 Narcissism vs. Avoidant Attachment Behaviors 21:43 The Overlap: Similarities 26:18 Can They Change and become available for Relationships? 29:30 How To Change: What Actually Matters ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    33 min

  4. 19 Jun

    Healed Avoidant Describes The Exact Moment He Decided to Change

    ► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! The most personaly yet. I describe my last break up phase and the day I decided to change. ► Links and Resources: Limerence Video: https://youtu.be/gDz8U2zaF0A?si=4qCYZ7saWj3pPgu7 Missing Puzzle Piece Video: https://youtu.be/7kGDhim-YlY?si=OWT50rFjoO2gB1_8 Why Avoidants Have no Clue What They Need & Feel Video: https://youtu.be/YoerBrHSdUI?si=6nUYCvwwIDiyqjhV ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Before I Decided To Change 07:10 The Moment I Decided To Change 18:16 Did I Come Back to My Ex? 19:30 The Honest Reason Avoidants Pull Away 26:00 What an Avoidant Needs to Change ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    32 min

  5. 17 Jun

    Healed Avoidant Explains the 5 Stages of an Avoidant Rebound Relationship

    ► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! Many of you asked for the rebound phase. Here it is: The Avoidant's Rebound relationship doom cycle. ► Links and Resources: Deactivation Strategies Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi-wUf36e9k&t=1s ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 0:00 What About The Rebound Phase? 01:38 Stage 0: Before Breakup 09:52 Stage 1: Preparing the Springboard 13:24 Stage 2: Breakup 17:12 Stage 3: Honeymoon Period 18:51 Stage 4: Trigger Phase 20:32 Stage 5: De-Fantasizing 22:28 The Final Act ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    27 min

  6. 15 Jun

    Dismissive or Fearful Avoidant? Actual Avoidant Explains How To Tell

    ► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: ⁠https://understandable.net⁠ (ad) Welcome to today's episode! ► Links and Resources: The 4 Attachment Styles Video: https://youtu.be/1S-YK065XLA?si=geD4YVZE7wA7LJDz Stonewalling Video: https://youtu.be/v4KaUMysJ2g?si=jPRsBcKc6Bluf9NN Deactivating Strategies Video: https://youtu.be/plHD7OMc-cc Di Definition Dismissive Avoidant: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-dismissive-avoidant-attachment-5218213 Definition Fearful Avoidant: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-fearful-avoidant-attachment-5207986 ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:00 The 4 Attachment Styles 03:02 What Is A Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style? 03:56 What Is A Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style? 04:18 Differences 05:52 Dismissive Avoidant Attachment 23:12 Fearful Avoidant Attachment 31:03 Similarities ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    35 min

  7. 12 Jun

    Healed Avoidant: If Avoidants Do THIS, They're Not Coming Back

    ► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! In this video I explain the 4 things avoidants do if they don't ever come back. ► Links and Resources: Deactivation Strategies Video: https://youtu.be/fi-wUf36e9k ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 0:00 Overview 01:44 Ghosting 08:00 Communicating Break up 13:10 Slowly Fading Out 15:40 History Rewriting ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    22 min

  8. 10 Jun

    Healed Avoidant Explains Why Avoidants Return After Rejecting You

    ► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad) Welcome to today's episode! Today I explain the #1 reason why avoidants return after rejecting someone. ► Links and Resources: When They Realize They Lost You Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr4HePymTMI&t=207s ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Why Avoidants Return 03:20 2 Minor Reasons for Returning 08:10 Avoidant's Ambivalence: Connection or Pulling Away? 12:10 The Rebound Phase 15:50 No 1 Reason They Return after Rejecting You (The Missing Puzzle Piece) 22:20 Building Interdependence 25:30 Breaking the Anxious-Avoidant Doom Cycle ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    30 min
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About

► Hi, my name is Robert! For a long time, I wondered why relationships felt so much harder for me than for others. Over the past years, I had the privilege of spending thousands of dollars and countless hours working with four different therapists, exploring what actually creates emotional safety ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions. I am not a health professional. My content is based on research & my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for 3 years.

Information

  • Creator
    Robert Siegers
  • Years Active
    2018 - 2026
  • Episodes
    380
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Robert Siegers
  • Show Website
    UNDERSTANDABLE

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