Conversations with Dr. Jennifer Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

 
In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife takes questions from her Facebook Group members on the nuanced and delicate topic of loss of attraction in marriage. In the discussion, Dr. Finlayson-Fife discusses how habituation, boredom, and resentment can undermine attraction, and how gratitude, appreciation, and novelty can foster it.

She also expertly responds to questions like:

* What can I do if I was never attracted to my spouse?
* My spouse has developed self-destructive habits that are impacting my attraction, how can I address this?
* I am disappointed by certain aspects of my spouse's appearance, what can I do?
* I am physically attracted to my spouse, but their personality is unappealing, what can I do?
* My spouse is apathetic about their health / hygeine, how can I address this?
* Can I rekindle the attraction for my spouse that I once had?

You can watch the recording of this conversation HERE!

In this conversation, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Dr. Julie Hanks to discuss her dissertation research, the ways that church culture has shaped women's sexuality, and how women can create a healthier relationship with desire, embodiment, and sexuality (no matter what stage of life they are in).

Listen to the full episode to learn more about:

* The importance of agency and self-definition in sexual relationships

* Characteristics of fulfilling sexual relationships

* Balancing personal desires with cultural expectations

*The relationship between agency and desire

* Encouraging self-definition in our children


* The effects of childhood sexual abuse on adult sexuality

If you would like to learn more about these topics, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Art of Desire course for women!

You can watch the video of this conversation HERE.

It’s tempting for us to use our children’s successes or failures to measure OUR success as parents.

But tangling ourselves up with our children this way is not only a recipe for disappointment and frustration (on both sides), it also stands in the way of REALLY loving and accepting our children for who they are.

The sooner we recognize how little control we actually have over our children, the sooner we can let go of the fantasy that they prove or disprove our sufficiency (and the sooner we can get to work ACTUALLY loving them). To love our children is to see and value them for the unique individuals they are and offer our best to them.

As humbling and refining of a practice parenting is, it is even more so for those who face the unique challenges and gifts of raising a child with special needs.

In this NEW episode of Navigating the Spectrum, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Michelle Portlock to discuss her personal experience with parenting a neurodivergent child. The discussion covers the importance of compassion (for yourself, your spouse, your child, and your circumstances), and thoughts about how parents can work together to reduce anxiety / stress, improve communication, and foster a nurturing, supportive relationship with each other and their child(ren).


**You can learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife's How to Talk To Your Kids About Sex Course HERE**

In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Finlayson-Fife uses questions from her Facebook Group members to drive an important discussion about emotional infidelity. During the conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife explains why emotional affairs are so compelling, the impact they have on relationships, and how those who have experienced emotional infidelity can navigate forward wisely.

Listen to the full episode to learn more about:

 * Intimacy Avoidance

* Self-Deception
* Intimacy vs Closeness
* Important considerations post-disclosure
* Trust vs Trustworthiness

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's newest mini-course Understanding Intimate Deception.

Meaningful connection with others is what gives us an important network of support and sustenance throughout our lives; however, creating and maintaining this type of connection isn't always easy.

And these days it is easier than ever to avoid the work of connection by distracting ourselves with screens.

Access to the entire world in the palms of our hands has tremendous benefits, of course, but all too often we use technology as a way to escape our lives and relationships. As nice as it sounds to not face difficult realities head-on, when we avoid, we limit our growth and ability to connect with others.

It’s very challenging to find the middle ground—to use technology to enrich and expand our lives, but to not be indulgent with it. And, as difficult as it is to manage this balance for ourselves, it is even more challenging to help our teens achieve a balanced, informed, and beneficial relationship with screens.

In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife discusses with Crystal (@theparenting coach) how parents can help their children navigate the complicated online world. She discusses the key to empowering teens to make wise decisions lies in facilitating our children’s self-authoring – of thinking about the lives they want to create and assessing whether their actions are in line with the person they hope to become.

Listen to the full episode to learn more about:

* The impact of pornography, social media, and screen use on the developing brain, relationships, and self-esteem
* The importance of normalizing sexual development (especially the draw of sexual imagery)

*  Tools for creating and maintaining healthy screen habits (for teens and parents!)

* How parental coddling limits development

* Tips for approaching difficult conversations without fear and shame.

* Discussing healthy sexuality with teens  in a shame-free and productive way

For a deeper dive on this topic on self-authoring and healthy sexuality, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex Course! This powerful course helps parents know how to foster their child’s ability to self-author throughout every age and stage of development!

Making mistakes is a fundamental part of human development. 

Many of us were taught that if we followed the rules we could avoid the pain and frustration of making mistakes. And while it is true that leaning on the wisdom of others and making wise decisions can prevent suffering, none of us are exempt from the mistake-making process.

Because making mistakes isn’t an aberration from the plan, it is a process that is foundational to it. Mistakes, by design, are how we learn. 

As with all growth, mistake-making is an uncomfortable process. When our choices result in pain and suffering for ourselves or others, we can use the experience to learn and increase our wisdom or we can stay stuck in unproductive regret or simmering resentment. 

In this powerful discussion, Dr. Finlayson-Fife teases out the difference between regret, resentment, and remorse and offers clarity on what these unpleasant emotions can teach us about ourselves and the way we are showing up in our lives and relationships.

You can watch the recording of conversation HERE.

You can learn more about Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife's couples' coaching podcast, HERE.