An Evolving Man Podcast

Piers Cross

An Evolving Man Podcast explores leadership, emotional intelligence, trauma, healing and peak performance. Hosted by Piers Cross, the show features conversations with leading psychologists, psychiatrists, executive coaches, authors, researchers and high-performance leaders, alongside solo episodes on leadership, resilience, relationships and personal transformation. Drawing on the latest research in psychology, neuroscience, attachment, trauma and human performance, the podcast helps leaders develop greater self-awareness, emotional intelligence and the capacity to lead with clarity, compassion and courage. Whether you are a CEO, founder, entrepreneur or aspiring leader, each episode offers practical insights to help you thrive professionally while creating a more meaningful and connected life.

  1. 3 days ago

    How to Rebuild Focus in a Distracted World | George Molakal & Brian Throckmorton | AEM #168

    Can attention be trained like a muscle—and can technology help us recover the focus that technology itself is eroding? In Episode 168 of An Evolving Man Podcast, Piers Cross speaks with George Molakal, CEO and co-founder of MindSpring Innovation, and Brian Throckmorton, co-founder and board member. Their work began with personal experience. Both had watched their children struggle with focus, schoolwork and sustained attention. This led them to explore whether there could be another route alongside medication and conventional therapy. George and Brian discuss the different forms of attention, neuroplasticity, multitasking, cognitive overload, smartphones, social media and the growing challenge of digital distraction. They also explain how MindSpring combines cognitive games, individual assessments, AI-supported coaching, parental guidance and human oversight to help children and adults strengthen attention and self-regulation. Piers explores the relationship between attention difficulties, ADHD and childhood trauma, while the guests clarify where their own research and experience do—and do not—extend. The conversation also examines phone-free schools, stigma around therapy, workplace distraction and why strong attention is essential for leaders, doctors, educators, drivers and other professionals working under pressure. The episode concludes with practical suggestions for parents, including removing distractions, breaking overwhelming tasks into smaller steps and helping children practise sustained observation. A hopeful and thought-provoking conversation about reclaiming one of our most important human capacities. Free resources for parents Download the Free Parent Playbooks—no signup and no cost: https://attentivekids.com/playbooks Listeners of An Evolving Man Podcast can use the code PIERS50 at: https://www.attentivekids.com The programme is designed for children aged 4–14. --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.  He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.  He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1  For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross  For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic  For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community  Many blessings,  Piers Cross  http://piers-cross.com/

    How to Rebuild Focus in a Distracted World | George Molakal & Brian Throckmorton | AEM #168
  2. 4 days ago

    Why Change Feels So Uncomfortable After Boarding School | Piers Cross

    Why can transitions feel disproportionately difficult for former boarders? In this short episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, Piers Cross reflects on his own nervousness before leaving for a workshop and retreat—and explores how apparently ordinary transitions can activate much older emotional patterns. Drawing on the work of Nick Duffell and Thurstine Basset in Trauma, Abandonment & Privilege, Piers considers how leaving home repeatedly as a child can make later transitions—holidays, travel, moving, ending therapy or beginning something new—feel unexpectedly uncomfortable. He shares a simple somatic practice: pause, notice where the nervousness is held in the body, breathe and allow yourself to feel what is happening rather than letting fear become the hidden engine behind constant activity. Piers also explores another possibility: rather than labelling the sensation as anxiety, experiment with saying: “I’m excited.” For former boarders who learned not to become too emotionally “up” or too “down”, rediscovering excitement may itself be part of the healing process. A short reflection on boarding school syndrome, transitions, anxiety, nervous system regulation, somatic awareness and learning to experience change differently. Find out more about Piers Cross:  https://piers-cross.com 🎧 Subscribe to An Evolving Man Podcast for conversations about boarding school syndrome, trauma, emotional intelligence, healing, relationships and human potential. #BoardingSchoolSyndrome #BoardingSchool #TraumaHealing --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.  He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.  He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1  For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross  For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic  For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community  Many blessings,  Piers Cross  http://piers-cross.com/

  3. 7 Aug

    Attachment Wounds, Codependency and Rupture Repair | Nima Rahmany AEM #167

    In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I speak with Nima Rahmany, nervous system and attachment specialist, transformational coach and founder of the Trigger Proof methodology. Nima works with high-achieving individuals, couples, parents and leaders to understand the deeper patterns behind reactivity, people-pleasing, trauma bonds, emotional shutdown and codependency. This is a powerful conversation about attachment wounds, nervous system regulation, rupture and repair, elegant boundaries, family dynamics, conscious parenting and what it really means to become “trigger-proof.” We explore: • Nima’s journey from chiropractic into trauma, attachment and nervous system work  • Why intelligent, successful people can still become reactive under pressure  • How childhood attachment wounds shape adult relationships  • Why codependency often begins as a search for safety  • The difference between co-regulation and codependency  • How rupture and repair create secure relationships  • Why unresolved resentment creates emotional and physical stress  • The importance of boundaries in family systems  • Protective boundaries and containment boundaries  • What elegant boundaries really mean  • How people-pleasing and self-abandonment keep us stuck  • Why conflict can become a doorway to deeper intimacy  • How to regulate, integrate and then communicate  • Why becoming trigger-proof is a lifelong path, not a quick fix This conversation is especially relevant for leaders, coaches, parents, partners and anyone who wants to break old cycles and build more secure, honest and compassionate relationships. Nima’s work:  https://becometriggerproof.com/  Attachment style assessment: https://go.drnima.com/lx67t  Piers Cross:  https://www.piers-cross.com/ Compassionate Leaders Global:  https://compassionateleadersglobal.com/ #AnEvolvingManPodcast #NimaRahmany #AttachmentWounds #TraumaBonds #Codependency #NervousSystemRegulation #CompassionateLeadership #EmotionalIntelligence --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.  He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.  He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1  For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross  For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic  For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community  Many blessings,  Piers Cross  http://piers-cross.com/

    Attachment Wounds, Codependency and Rupture Repair | Nima Rahmany AEM #167
  4. 5 Aug

    Why High Achieving Leaders Can’t Switch Off | Burnout, Rest and Leadership

    Why do so many successful leaders struggle to switch off? In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I explore why high-achieving leaders often find it difficult to rest, sleep, stop working, put the phone down or be fully present with family. This is not simply a time management issue. For many leaders, the nervous system has learned to stay permanently “on”. Drawing on Jim Collins, Brad Stulberg, Steve Magness, Cal Newport, Kelly McGonigal, Emma Seppälä, Nick Duffell and Thurstine Bassett, I explore the psychology behind workaholism, burnout, boarding school conditioning and the importance of rest for real growth. We explore: • Why successful leaders struggle to switch off  • The difference between hard work and workaholism  • Why boarding school can train the nervous system to stay “always on”  • Nick Duffell and Thurstine Bassett’s idea of “timetabling”  • Why stress without rest leads to burnout  • Why stress plus rest equals growth  • Jim Collins on hard work versus compulsive overwork  • Why scrolling, emails and social media are not real rest  • Cal Newport’s “shutdown complete” practice  • How a twilight hour can improve sleep and recovery  • Why rest is not indulgence, but responsible leadership  • Simple practices to calm the nervous system and switch off If you are a founder, CEO, executive, coach or high achiever who finds it difficult to stop, this episode is an invitation to reframe rest as part of leadership. Not weakness. Not laziness. But essential. Piers Cross:  https://www.piers-cross.com/ Compassionate Leaders Global:  https://compassionateleadersglobal.com/ #AnEvolvingManPodcast #Leadership #Burnout #EmotionalIntelligence #CompassionateLeadership #HighPerformance #StressRecovery #BoardingSchoolSyndrome --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.  He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.  He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1  For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross  For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic  For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community  Many blessings,  Piers Cross  http://piers-cross.com/

  5. 31 Jul

    Why Conflict Can Deepen Love | Dr. Judith Wright on Emotional Intelligence and Relationships | AEM #166

    In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I speak with Dr. Judith Wright, relationship expert, author and co-founder of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential. Judith has spent more than 40 years helping individuals and couples transform conflict into connection, deepen emotional intelligence and create more meaningful lives. We explore why conflict is not necessarily a sign that a relationship is failing. Instead, when approached consciously, conflict can become a doorway into truth, intimacy, personal responsibility and deeper love. We discuss the seven rules of engagement from The Heart of the Fight, including taking responsibility for our own happiness, refusing to give more than 50% of the blame, telling the truth, fighting for rather than against, and assuming goodwill. We also explore emotional intelligence, dissociation, shadow work, the drama triangle, relationship as a mirror, and how love can help us become more fully ourselves. Dr. Judith Wright:  https://livewright.com/contact/ Piers Cross:  https://www.piers-cross.com/ Timestamps00:00 Introduction to Dr. Judith Wright  02:00 Judith’s journey into relationship work  05:10 Working with couples across 20 years  08:05 Personal responsibility in relationships  10:15 The drama triangle: victim, persecutor and rescuer  13:20 Changing the field in relationship  16:15 Letting go of control  18:10 The seven rules of engagement  19:00 Accentuate the positive  21:10 Minimise the negative  23:35 No one gets more than 50% of the blame  25:00 100% responsibility for your own happiness  27:15 Truth, trust and no secrets  31:10 Fight for, not against  34:00 Assuming goodwill  38:30 Why conflict is not failure  42:20 How to begin having healthier arguments  45:30 Expressing likes and dislikes  49:00 Receiving love, praise and gifts  52:15 Relationship as a mirror  55:10 The womb and the crucible  57:50 What to do when a relationship reaches an impasse  59:25 Emotional intelligence in relationships  1:00:45 Final reflections and where to find Judith --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.  He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.  He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1  For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross  For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic  For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community  Many blessings,  Piers Cross  http://piers-cross.com/

    Why Conflict Can Deepen Love | Dr. Judith Wright on Emotional Intelligence and Relationships | AEM #166
  6. 30 Jul

    I’m Not a Leader? Why We Are All Leaders | Compassionate Leadership

    What if you are already a leader, even if you do not have the title? In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I explore the belief many people hold: “I’m not a leader.” This often comes up in conversations about the Compassionate Leader Pathway. People say they are not in a senior position, not a CEO, not a manager, or not the kind of person they imagine a leader to be. But leadership is not only about titles, hierarchy or command and control. Drawing on Mike Manazir’s work in Learn How to Lead to Win, John C. Maxwell’s The Five Levels of Leadership, Simon Sinek’s Leaders Eat Last, Gareth Southgate’s Lessons in Leadership, and the wider field of emotional intelligence and compassionate leadership, I explore why we are all leaders in some form. We explore: • Why many people say, “I’m not a leader”  • Why leadership is not just about titles or status  • The difference between command-and-control leadership and compassionate leadership  • Why parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches, counsellors and colleagues are all leaders  • John Quincy Adams’ definition of leadership  • Mike Manazir’s human-centred approach to leadership  • John Maxwell’s five levels of leadership  • Why relational leadership matters  • Why the future of leadership is emotional intelligence  • Gareth Southgate, psychological safety and leadership  • How servant leadership creates leaders, not followers  • Why Compassionate Leaders Global exists  • The upcoming Compassionate Leader Pathway Leadership begins with how we lead ourselves. And from there, how we show up for others. Find out more about the Compassionate Leader Pathway:  https://compassionateleadersglobal.com/the-compassionate-leader-pathway-course/ Upcoming workshop:  https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1992503357178?aff=oddtdtcreator #CompassionateLeadership #LeadershipDevelopment #EmotionalIntelligence #ServantLeadership #PsychologicalSafety #LeadershipTraining #AnEvolvingManPodcast --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.  He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.  He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1  For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross  For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic  For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community  Many blessings,  Piers Cross  http://piers-cross.com/

  7. 8 Jul

    Why Do the Same People Keep Triggering Me? Leadership, Shadow Work and Boundaries

    Why do the same people keep triggering us? Why do certain relationships, colleagues, family members or situations seem to provoke the same reaction again and again? In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I explore emotional triggers from the perspective of leadership, Jungian psychology, boarding school trauma, nervous system regulation and personal sovereignty. This is an important subject for anyone in leadership, coaching, relationships, parenting or personal development because the people who trigger us often reveal something important about ourselves. Drawing on Carl Jung’s insight that “when an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside as fate,” I explore how projection works, why we give our power away, and how we can begin to bring that energy back into the body. We explore: • Why the same people keep triggering us  • Jung, shadow work and projection  • Why triggers are often somatic before they are intellectual  • How boarding school and childhood trauma can create hypervigilance  • The inner critic and outer critic  • Why anger in others may reveal hidden anger in ourselves  • How to reclaim projections and take back your energy  • Why boundaries are essential for emotional maturity  • How to practise saying no without aggression or people-pleasing  • EFT, Havening and body-based regulation tools  • Why triggers are part of leadership development  • How compassionate leadership begins with self-awareness I also share details of our upcoming free Compassionate Leaders Global workshop: Why Do the Same People Keep Triggering Me? 30th July, 6:30pm to 7:45pm UK time Book here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1992503357178?aff=oddtdtcreator I also mention the upcoming Compassionate Leader Pathway, a three-month programme beginning in September for people who want to develop a more emotionally intelligent, heart-centred and compassionate way of leading. Find out more here:  https://compassionateleadersglobal.com/the-compassionate-leader-pathway-course/ #CompassionateLeadership #EmotionalIntelligence #LeadershipDevelopment #ShadowWork #JungianPsychology #NervousSystemRegulation #Boundaries #AnEvolvingManPodcast Timestamps00:00 Introduction: Why do the same people keep triggering me?  00:43 Why this matters in leadership, family and relationships  01:35 We are all leaders in some form  02:20 Carl Jung, projection and unconscious patterns  03:33 What triggers reveal about our shadow  04:40 Anger, the inner critic and self-attack  05:45 Reclaiming projections and taking your power back  06:55 Hypervigilance, the outer critic and childhood survival  08:05 Havening, EFT and calming the nervous system  09:00 Boundaries and why the same people keep crossing them  10:05 Practising yes, no and embodied sovereignty  11:05 Feeling triggers in the body  11:55 Upcoming free workshop on emotional triggers  12:35 The Compassionate Leader Pathway  13:05 Final reflections and invitation to comment --- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.  He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.  He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1  For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross  For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic  For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community  Many blessings,  Piers Cross  http://piers-cross.com/

About

An Evolving Man Podcast explores leadership, emotional intelligence, trauma, healing and peak performance. Hosted by Piers Cross, the show features conversations with leading psychologists, psychiatrists, executive coaches, authors, researchers and high-performance leaders, alongside solo episodes on leadership, resilience, relationships and personal transformation. Drawing on the latest research in psychology, neuroscience, attachment, trauma and human performance, the podcast helps leaders develop greater self-awareness, emotional intelligence and the capacity to lead with clarity, compassion and courage. Whether you are a CEO, founder, entrepreneur or aspiring leader, each episode offers practical insights to help you thrive professionally while creating a more meaningful and connected life.

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