The Divorce Course Podcast

Laura & Lyn
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The Divorce Course Podcast is hosted by mother–daughter duo Laura Furiosi and family law specialist Lyn Galvin. Together, they break down the complex world of separation and divorce into clear, practical, and empowering conversations. From property settlements and parenting arrangements to dealing with difficult exes, finances, and family court, the podcast gives listeners the knowledge, tools, and confidence to navigate divorce without feeling lost or alone.

  1. 1 day ago

    How Do I Prove Coercive Control? The Evidence That Actually Counts

    You know it was abuse. But written down, each moment sounds small. This is the episode about proving it. Part 5 of our six-part coercive control series with clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova. Mum and I work through your questions on affidavits, evidence, police reports and what the family court is actually looking for. LISTEN IF YOU... - Have kept notes for a year and worry they sound petty - Have been told by a lawyer that coercive control does not matter - Reported to police and were dismissed because there was no stalking or tracking - Are writing an affidavit and do not know what to include - Are still being controlled through emails, handovers and admin after final orders - Are terrified of going back to court This is general information, not legal or psychological advice. It reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your situation. Always get independent advice. This episode discusses coercive control, family violence, financial abuse and sexual betrayal. If you are in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732. 00:00 - Explaining Coercive Control When No One Believes You 01:00 - Series Recap and Meet Clinical Psychologist Krasi Kirova 02:30 - Legal Disclaimer and Family Violence Trigger Warning 03:50 - Stacy: How Do I Make My Notes Matter in Court? 06:00 - Why Each Incident Sounds Petty: The Puzzle Piece Problem 07:00 - Death by a Thousand Cuts: Proving Cumulative Harm 09:30 - When the Judge Spots the Pattern Themselves 10:30 - What Courts Look For: Coercive Control and the Property Pool 14:00 - Your Affidavit Is the Proof, So You Have to Say It 14:20 - Anonymous: Should Infidelity Go in My Affidavit? 18:00 - DARVO Explained: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender 19:00 - Win: Can I Use Voice Memos and Home Security Footage? 21:40 - Legal Gatekeeping: When Your Lawyer Says It Does Not Matter 26:00 - How to Change Lawyers Mid-Case Without the Confrontation 28:00 - Katina: The Police Dismissed My Coercive Control Report 30:00 - The Empower You App and Finding a Station That Listens 33:20 - Roberta: Protection Orders When He Explains Everything Away 35:00 - Why Criminal, DV and Family Courts Do Not Talk to Each Other 37:00 - Samantha: Post-Separation Control After Final Orders 41:40 - Grey Rock, Escalation and When to Get a Risk Assessment 43:30 - Coercive Control Versus Ordinary Co-Parenting Conflict 46:30 - Admin Burden as Control: Fix It in Your Parenting Orders 50:00 - Jenna: When His Lawyer Becomes the Mouthpiece 54:00 - Lee: Fear of Court and a Teenager Who Will Not Visit 58:00 - Court Fear Is the Last Hook They Have Left 01:00:00 - Gina: What Evidence Is Actually Enough? 01:02:00 - Thresholds: Therapist Versus Police Versus Family Court 01:04:00 - The Marathon Analogy: Kicked, Then Blamed for Slowing Down 01:06:00 - Never Stop Documenting Until the Behaviour Stops 01:12:00 - The Magistrate Who Knew What Coercive Control Was 01:14:30 - Krasi's Conference Talk and Next Week: Healing EPISODES MENTIONED DARVO in the Family Court - https://youtu.be/pRMOfozwBKs?si=-YgsXkz8ybMB_lkr Documenting Coercive Control - https://youtu.be/SIyXCGXH5nw?si=SY_8UNT5puZ7Uj_F Reporting to Police, Step by Step - https://youtu.be/s7vH5a9y7cA?si=sm1ReJaVxsvqKlNS 1800 RESPECT - 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) Lifeline - 13 11 14 Police - 000 (immediate danger) The Divorce Course - www.thedivorcecourse.com.au The Divorce Course Podcast - www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog Empower You app - free documentation app run by NSW Police Krasi Kirova - clinical psychologist and board-approved supervisor Share your experience anonymously for Krasi's conference talk: [LINK] If this episode helped you understand how to prove coercive control, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find this information too.

  2. 1 day ago

    What Happens to the Family Home in Divorce? From Separation to Settlement

    Are you about to separate and have absolutely no idea what happens to the house? Do you keep it? Do you sell it? Do you have to be the one who leaves? And what happens to the mortgage? 🎧 Listen to this episode if… - You don't know whether you can keep the house or have to sell it, The mortgage is in both names and you're panicking about who pays it, You've been told that if you move out, you lose your claim to the house, Your ex is stalling, sabotaging the sale, or refusing to sign anything, You want to keep the kids in the same home and the same school, You're heading into mediation and need to know your options ⚠️  not legal advice. This reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your situation. Always get independent legal advice. Discussions of financial and economic abuse. If you're in danger, call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732. 00:00 – What Happens to the House When You Separate? 01:10 – Net Equity Explained: What the House Is Really Worth 02:05 – No Special Rule Book, With One Exception: Housing the Children 03:45 – Does Someone Have to Move Out to Be Separated? 05:05 – Myth Busted: Moving Out Doesn't Lose You the House 06:20 – When Your Ex Runs the House Down Before the Valuation 07:10 – Who Pays the Mortgage? Spousal Maintenance Explained 09:30 – Financial Abuse and Section 4AB of the Family Law Act 09:55 – Do You Have to Sell the House If You Separate? 10:45 – Working Out What the House Is Actually Worth 12:10 – How Assets Get Balanced: The Caravan Example 13:15 – Your Options: Keep It, Sell It, or Hold It Jointly 14:35 – Falling Prices, Negative Equity and Bidding at Auction 16:50 – Keeping the House: The Step-by-Step Process 17:20 – Why the Order Comes First: The Stamp Duty Exemption 19:20 – How to Work Out the Buyout Figure 21:30 – Can You Actually Afford It? See a Mortgage Broker 23:15 – Why Every Consent Order Needs a Backup Plan 24:50 – Kids and the House: Does It Give You an Edge? 26:20 – Expensive Suburbs, School Catchments and Staying Put 28:35 – The Tarzan Principle: Getting to the Next House 31:40 – Should You Buy a New House Before Settlement? 34:20 – Selling Together When You Can Barely Speak 35:25 – Staging, "Sold As Is" and Missing Kitchens 38:10 – Choosing a Real Estate Agent You Both Agree On 39:25 – Court Orders to Sell and Holding Funds in Trust 42:25 – When Your Ex Sabotages the Sale 47:40 – The High-Conflict Ex and the House 49:15 – The Avoidant Ex and Avoidant-Proof Orders 51:20 – The Manipulative Ex and Delay Tactics 52:50 – Amicable? Don't Rely on a Handshake 54:40 – Don't Let Buyers Know It's a Divorce Sale 55:55 – When Your Ex Won't Sign: Section 106A Explained 57:20 – What It Costs to Go to Court Over the House 59:00 – A Home Is Just a House: The Emotional Side 🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED What Happens With the Mortgage https://youtu.be/8yNEHlHC-JE?si=hCyc9PcxW3BbTUDd Inheritances https://youtu.be/FKK6NIU4sEk?si=oAOCl-INyhnvO_M0 I Really Want to Keep the House https://youtu.be/sblG_qVXhG4?si=ydHgafJTRDRr6g74 Selling the House https://youtu.be/kd9MUMeKaKQ?si=dTTugpHus_6Qe7oF 📖 FULL SHOW NOTES, including every case, section and resource mentioned in this episode: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24/7) 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🚓 Police – 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Family Law Act 1975 – s79(5) and s90SM (housing the children), s4AB (family violence and economic abuse), s90 (stamp duty relief), s106A (registrar signing documents). If this episode helped you please follow, rate, review, and share so others going through the same thing can find this information too.

  3. 28 Jul

    Neurodivergent Kids & Divorce

    🎧 LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE IF… • You're parenting a child with autism, ADHD or suspected neurodivergence through a separation • You don't know how to tell a literal thinker that their parents are splitting up • Changeover is falling apart and your child refuses to go to the other house • Your ex denies the diagnosis, blocks therapy, or says "they're perfect at my place" • You need the court to understand what your child's daily needs actually look like • You're heading into a family report and you're dreading it • You're burnt out, doing all the appointments, and wondering if you've ruined your child Does the family court actually consider your child's neurodivergence when making parenting orders? What happens when your ex tells the lawyer your child doesn't have special needs at all? And can week-about ever work for a child who falls apart at every changeover? In this episode, Mum and I are joined by Amanda Lee – an autistic mum of autistic daughters, a qualified Montessori educator, parenting coach and registered counsellor who has also been through the family court herself. Amanda works with neurodiverse families navigating burnout, relationship breakdown and separation, and she brings both the qualifications and the lived experience. ⏱️ EPISODE TIMELINE 00:00 – Neurodivergent Kids and Divorce: What You Need to Know 01:01 – Meet Amanda Lee: Autistic Mum, Counsellor and Parenting Coach 03:22 – What's Actually Different for a Neurodivergent Child? 04:56 – Does the Family Court Need a Formal Diagnosis? 06:17 – How to Tell a Neurodivergent Child You're Separating 10:09 – Warning Signs Your Child Isn't Coping After Separation 13:59 – You Haven't Ruined Your Child: The Skills They're Building 14:32 – Documenting Your Child's Behaviour for the Family Court 15:27 – Transitions and Two Homes: Making Changeover Easier 20:04 – One Safe Person, One Safe Place: How to Parallel Parent 22:06 – When Your Child Refuses to Go to the Other House 22:58 – How to Write Observations That Hold Up as Evidence 26:00 – Free Checklists at The Divorce Course 27:09 – When Your Ex Won't Take the Kids to Therapy or OT 28:00 – The Ex Who Denies the Diagnosis: Talk About Behaviour Instead 30:24 – Masking, the Fawn Response and "Perfect at Dad's" 33:08 – Telling the School and Building Your Support Team 36:24 – "Therapeutic Purposes Only" Counselling Orders Explained 37:07 – How the Family Court Considers Neurodiversity 38:15 – NDIS Plans, Affidavits and a Day in the Life 40:02 – Choosing a Family Report Writer Who Gets Neurodivergence 41:00 – Preparing Your Child for the Family Report Interview 44:10 – Coaching Accusations and How to Avoid Them 46:15 – When Parents Can't Agree on Medical or Therapy Decisions 49:04 – Therapy Costs, Property Settlement and Child Support 51:05 – Support After 18: Adult Child Maintenance Explained 53:06 – Parental Burnout and the "Good Enough Parent" Standard 56:49 – Where to Find Amanda Lee   🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED • At What Age Can Children Decide Where They Live? –https://youtu.be/hUCh0Nzw0wM?si=3jLmbSGESM3ziQYq • What Is a Family Report? What to Expect on the Day –https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/family-reports-in-your-divorce/id1503451022?i=1000475552908 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Amanda Lee – Amanda Lee Consulting – amandaleeconsulting.com | Amanda Lee Consulting on Facebook & Instagram Understanding Zoe app – shared practitioner notes for your child's support team (may be fundable through NDIS) Teeny Tiny Stevies – ABC Kids / ABC iview (the goodbye-song idea) Videos for children about the family court – fcfcoa.gov.au Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) s 60CC – best interests of the child Family Law Amendment Act 2023 – parental responsibility and joint decision-making changes, in force May 2024 Services Australia – Child Support change of assessment (special circumstances) NDIS – ndis.gov.au   LINKS & RESOURCES 🌐 The Divorce Course – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 The Divorce Course Podcast – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog ✅ Free checklists (mediation, disclosure, word salad, read a letter like a pro, before you go) – free resources section at www.thedivorcecourse.com.au   SUPPORT 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🚓 Police – 000 (immediate danger)   🛟 Content warning: this episode touches on high-conflict separation, post-separation abuse, and parents who deny a child's needs.   ⚠️ This podcast is general information only – it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your situation or jurisdiction. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your individual circumstances. Laws may have changed since this episode was recorded.   If this episode helped you feel less alone in parenting a neurodivergent child through separation, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find this information too. All our best, Laura & Lyn Your Guides By Your Side Co-Hosts of THE DIVORCE COURSE PODCAST

  4. 22 Jul

    Big or Small Property Pool? How Size Changes Your Divorce Settlement

    🎧 Listen to this episode if… • You've been told your property pool is "too big" or "too small" to bother negotiating • You're weighing up whether to accept an offer or go to court, and it doesn't feel fair • You're a stay-at-home parent worried about how you'll manage on a small settlement • Your ex keeps saying "just go get a job" and you don't know if the court sees it that way • You're stuck arguing over a percentage and not sure if the fight is worth the cost • You want to understand future needs adjustments before you sit down at mediation ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only – it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your specific situation or jurisdiction (some rules differ in WA). Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your individual circumstances. Laws may have changed since this episode was recorded. Episode Summary You may have been told that because your property pool is very big, or very small, the usual rules don't apply to you. Maybe you're trying to decide whether to accept an offer that doesn't feel fair, or whether it's even worth going to court at all. This one's for you. Mum and I unpack how the size of your property pool changes the way settlement negotiations and decisions play out. The family law framework is always the same – the four steps a court works through don't move – but two of those steps, current and future circumstances (what we used to call "future needs") and that final just-and-equitable check, can look very different depending on whether you're splitting five million or fifty thousand. We talk through why big pools often see smaller future-needs adjustments (because there's plenty to go around), why small pools can see much larger ones (because every dollar counts), and the one habit that will save you years of stress: stop arguing over percentages and start looking at what those percentages are actually worth in real dollars. Mum also explains the Priority Property Pool 500 (PPP500) court track for smaller matters, why superannuation isn't the same as cash in your hand, and why drawing that legal line under your relationship matters even when there's "hardly anything" to divide. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Big or Small Property Pool? Why It Matters 01:00 – The Legal Disclaimer & What Stays the Same for Everyone 01:20 – The Four Steps: What Never Changes in a Settlement 02:00 – What Counts as a Large Property Pool? 02:40 – Big Pools: Why Future Needs Adjustments Shrink 04:40 – Standard of Living: What the Court Will and Won't Do 06:30 – Small Pools: Why Adjustments Can Be Much Bigger 07:30 – Percentages vs Real Dollars: The Mindset Shift 09:00 – Is That 10% Worth Going to Court For? 12:20 – Don't Forget Superannuation vs Cash 14:00 – Stay-at-Home Parents, Earning Capacity & Retraining 17:20 – "Is a Small Pool Even Worth It?" The Myth 18:30 – Why Drawing a Legal Line Protects Your Future 21:40 – The Priority Property Pool 500 (PPP500) Explained 23:30 – Normal-Sized Pools: Follow the Usual Rules 25:50 – Show Me the Money: Look at Dollars, Not Percentages 26:40 – You Are Capable: A Message of Hope   1. Should I Settle or Go to Court? (10 Questions to Ask Yourself) Referenced when discussing how to decide whether the fight is worth it. 2. Property: Why You Shouldn't Negotiate Percentages Referenced when discussing arguing over what "50/50" actually means in dollars. 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14 🚓 Police — 000 (immediate danger) 🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 The Divorce Course Podcast — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog • Priority Property Pool 500 (PPP500) — the streamlined court track for matters with net assets under $500,000 (excluding super). Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia: https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au • Family Law Act 1975 – s 79 (property, married) / s 90SM (de facto): https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html

  5. 21 Jul

    Coercive Control and Your Kids: How to Protect Your Children From a Coercively Controlling Co-Parent

    🎧 Listen to this episode if… - You've left a coercively controlling relationship and your biggest fear is what it will do to your kids - You're wondering why your children can't see the abuse, or seem to side with the controlling parent - Your ex uses the kids as messengers or feeds them misinformation - You're worried about being accused of "parental alienation" for parenting differently - You're navigating parenting plans, orders or supervised time with a high-conflict ex ⚠️ This podcast is general information only not legal advice. Australian family law discussed. Always consult a qualified family lawyer. 🛟 This episode discusses coercive control and family violence. In danger? Call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. In Part 4 of our Coercive Control Series, Laura and Lyn are joined by clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova to answer your questions about coercive control, children and co-parenting. Plus the legal side – affidavits, family reports, Section 61DAB, loophole-proof orders, whether the court listens to a 14-year-old, and why supervised time working isn't a reason to rush to unsupervised. ⏱️ CHAPTERS 00:00 – Coercive Control and Kids: Every Parent's Biggest Fear 02:00 – How Coercive Control Affects Children (Including Adult Children) 04:00 – Research: Coercive Control Harms Kids Like Physical Violence 08:00 – Why Children Can't See the Abuse: The Loyalty Bind 10:00 – Does the Family Court Recognise the Impact on Children? 11:00 – The Problem With Family Reports 13:00 – Naming Coercive Control in Your Affidavit 14:00 – When Kids Are Used as Messengers 15:00 – Why Protective Parenting Is Double Duty 18:00 – Dr Emma Katz: Build the Opposite of the Coercive Regime 21:00 – Teaching Kids Emotion Regulation and Assertiveness 24:00 – Why Normal Co-Parenting Advice Doesn't Apply Here 26:00 – Making Your Home Non-Porous 27:00 – Alienation Accusations vs Parenting Differently 29:00 – Bombarding Messages: Why You Can Ignore Them 31:00 – Section 61DAB: Your Day-to-Day Parenting Decisions 32:00 – Manipulation and Misinformation: Correcting the Record 37:00 – The "Adult Matters" Myth in Family Court 38:00 – When Kids Side With the Controlling Parent 43:00 – How to Tell the Kids You're Divorcing 48:00 – Best Books to Help Children Through Coercive Control 52:00 – Krasi's Message to Every Protective Parent 55:00 – Helping Kids Heal When They Won't Open Up 60:00 – Parenting Plans With a Narcissistic Ex: 50/50 Traps 62:00 – Loophole-Proof Orders: Why "As Agreed" Needs a Default 65:00 – Will the Court Listen to a 14-Year-Old? 67:00 – Parental Alienation: What the UN Report Says 69:00 – The Gillick Test: Teens Accessing Psychological Support 70:00 – Sudden 50/50 Demands and Recording Phone Calls 72:00 – Supervised Time: Why Good Behaviour Isn't Evidence 🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED Part 1 – Coercive Control vs a Bad Relationship:  https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Blmekx03XEJIzshzS3glJ Part 2 – Coercive Control While Separated Under One Roof https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1503451022?i=1000775886114 Part 3 – Financial Abuse and Coercive Control: When Money Becomes the Weapon https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1503451022?i=1000776879697 The Parenting Order Loopholes Your Ex Will Exploit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBZYy44FhPY Can Kids Decide Where They Live? How Children's Wishes Count https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1503451022?i=1000771958744 🔗 RESOURCES Krasi Kirova, Clinical Psychologist – https://kirovapsychology.com.au Krasi's feedback form for survivors – https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/bjpm4Gy2 Books: The Big Bag of Worries | Every Moment of Every Day (Christine Cuccio) | The Sky Is Red and My Boundary Balloons (Tyra Schwartz) | I Can (Natasha Harris) Family Law Act 1975 – s60CC and s61DAB 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au

  6. 15 Jul

    Financial Abuse and Coercive Control: When Money Becomes the Weapon

    🎧 Listen to this episode if… Your ex is using money to punish or control you in divorce proceedings Your ex is stalling the settlement, ignoring emails, or pressuring you to sign before you're ready You've been told it "couldn't really be financial abuse" because you earned your own money or had access to the accounts Your partner refused to work or quietly drained joint funds Your lawyer suggested leaving coercive control out of your settlement  You need the courage to name what happened ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only it is not legal advice. It reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your situation or jurisdiction. Always consult a qualified family lawyer. Laws may have changed since recording. 🛟 Family Violence Trigger Warning This episode discusses coercive control and financial abuse. For confidential support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). Lyn a Family Lawyer and I are joined again by clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova to answer your questions about financial abuse the part of coercive control that hides inside bank accounts, businesses, superannuation and settlement negotiations. Krasi breaks down the three faces of economic abuse – control, employment sabotage and economic exploitation – and Mum covers what Section 4AB of the Family Law Act actually says, what evidence courts look for when the abuse happened behind closed doors, and how to find the courage to name it. 00:00 – Financial Abuse and Coercive Control: Was It Really Abuse? 03:00 –  Financial Abuse When You're the Breadwinner 04:00 – The 3 Types of Economic Abuse: Control, Sabotage, Exploitation 08:00 –  My Husband Won't Work – Is This Coercive Control? 12:00 – Secret Accounts and Hidden Spending 15:00 – "I Learned to Stop Asking Questions" – Control Through Consequences 16:00 – Section 4AB Family Law Act: Financial Abuse Is Coercive Control 17:00 – The Avoidant Ex and Post-Separation Abuse 19:00 – When Courts Award More: The 14% Adjustment for Coercive Conduct 21:00  He Won't Accept the Separation 23:00 –  Proving Subtle Coercive Control in Court 24:00 – What Evidence Family Courts Actually Need (It's Not Criminal Proof) 27:00 – Making Your Story Live for the Judge: Notes, Dates, Chronology 29:00 – The Three Ds Framework: Demeaning, Disempowerment, Distortion 31:00 –Proving Covert Control and Narrative Isolation 39:00 – Trying Hard's Question: Pressured to Sign the Settlement Too Soon 43:00 – Alex's Question: When Your Ex Uses Adult Kids to Pressure You 46:00 – Krasi's Call-Out: Share Your Experience for the Psychology Conference 48:00 – Samantha's Question: My Lawyer Said to Leave Coercive Control Out 52:00 – Spousal Maintenance Years After Separation: What Courts Consider 54:00 – Gretchen's Question: When the Ex's Lawyers Play Coercive Games 55:00 – Miss Resilient: Private School Fees, Child Support and Spiteful Neglect 59:00 – Next Week: Coercive Control, the Children and Co-Parenting 60:00 – Jesse and Sandy: Finding the Courage to Name the Abuse 61:00 – The Lighthouse Program and Evatt List: Extra Safeguards in Court 65:00 – The Domestic Violence Pendulum: You Will Find Your Voice 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🌐 The Divorce Course – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Krasi's free Three Ds handout - https://kirovapsychology.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/3Ds-Handout-1.pdf Krasi's Psychology Conference questionnaire  https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/bjpm4Gy2

  7. 7 Jul

    Coercive Control While Separated Under One Roof: How to Survive It Part 2

    Coercive Control While Separated Under One Roof: How to Survive It | The Divorce Course Podcast (Part 2) 🎧 LISTEN IF YOU… • Are separated but still stuck under one roof • Were told you "can't leave" without a parenting plan • Suspect you're being watched through cameras, phone or car • Are scared to move money or make a move • Want to plan a safe exit and set real boundaries ⚠️ General education only — not legal or psychological advice. Discusses coercive control, financial & tech abuse. In danger, call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. Part 2 of our six-part coercive control series with clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova and Family Law Specialist Lyn Galvin, all about surviving it while you're still in it. 00:00 – Separated but Stuck Under One Roof: You're Not Alone 01:00 – Six-Part Series, Guest Krasi Kirova & How to Send Questions 02:00 – Meet Krasi Kirova & Lyn Galvin 03:00 – Legal & Family Violence Disclaimer 04:00 – Does Coercive Control Continue After Separation? (Sally's Question) 05:00 – The Three Ds: Disrespect, Disempowerment, Distortion 06:00 – Why They Won't Move Out — The New Under-One-Roof Tactic 07:00 – Is Separation Under One Roof Required? Davis & Davis (Sarah's Question) 08:00 – "Can You Make Them Leave?" + When Your Ex Makes Up the Law 10:00 – DARVO Explained + Why Placating Doesn't Work (Nini's Question) 12:00 – How to Prove Escalating Abuse + Judges Are Trained 13:00 – Chronologies as Evidence + The Three-Year "Separation" Trap (Anonymous) 15:00 – The Stuck Feeling Is Entrapment — You Can Leave Without a Plan 17:00 – Cameras, Doorbells & Surveillance In Your Own Home (Loans' Question) 19:00 – Tech-Facilitated Abuse: 70% Is Everyday Tech + The Omnipresence Effect 20:00 – Is My Car Being Tracked? AirTags, Apps & What to Do (Marie's Question) 22:00 – Removing Tech Safely: Order Matters, Sweepers & Bluetooth 24:00 – When Your Ex Uses the Kids to Spy (She Bear's Question) 26:00 – Talking to Your Child About Privacy + Family Reports 28:00 – Krasi's Call-Out: Share Your Voice for the Psychology Conference 31:00 – Moving Money Without Awakening the Bear (JT's Question) 33:00 – Getting Your Ducks in a Row: The Safest Way to Leave 36:00 – 21 Years In — How Do I Announce I'm Leaving? (Tash's Question) 37:00 – The Shark Analogy: Why "Nicely" Doesn't Change the Reaction 38:00 – "You Moved Money Without My Consent" — Financial Control (Jessie's Question) 40:00 – Boundaries vs Buffers: Why Boundaries Can Backfire (Anonymous) 44:00 – Parenting Apps, Grey Rocking & the Three Anchors 45:00 – Legal Abuse, Comeuppance & the 14% Uplift Case 46:00 – Intervention Orders + A House-Sharing Idea for the Stuck 🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED Can You Make Them Leave? — https://youtu.be/_XAG5c1hOkU Tech-Facilitated Abuse (WESNET SafetyNet Australia) — https://youtu.be/rc8b27R_k9k The Three Anchors with Sonia Bestulic — https://youtu.be/aHULu7ffPj4 Capturing Coercive Control in an Affidavit — https://youtu.be/SIyXCGXH5nw 🔗 RESOURCES 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 | Lifeline 13 11 14 | Police 000 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Free Before-You-Go Checklist & Tech App Worksheet — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Share your voice for Krasi's conference (anonymous) — https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/bjpm4Gy2 Tech safety — https://techsafety.org.au Davis & Davis [1984] — the case confirming it's unreasonable to expect separated people to live under one roof If this episode helped you, please follow, rate, review and share so others stuck under one roof can find it too. Next week: Coercive Control & Financial Abuse.

  8. 30 Jun

    Coercive Control vs a Bad Relationship: How to Tell the Difference

    Listen to this episode if… You keep asking yourself "is it me, or are they controlling?" The examples online always sound more extreme than what you're living You're walking on eggshells but second-guessing whether you're allowed to feel that way You've been told to "just set boundaries" but it only seems to make things worse You want to understand coercive control from both a psychological and a family-law angle Legal Disclaimer & Family Violence Warning This is general education – not legal advice or a psychological diagnosis. It discusses coercive control and abuse. If you're in danger, call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 | Lifeline 13 11 14. Episode Summary "Is it me, or are they controlling?" That question ran under almost every message you sent in – so we turned it into a six-part series, and this is Part 1. Laura and Lyn are joined by clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova to answer the one nearly everyone asked: is this really coercive control? Krasi shares her three Ds (disrespect, disempowerment, distortion), explains why coercive control is a pattern and a function rather than a list of behaviours, and how good qualities like compromise and empathy get weaponised. Lyn explains how family law treats coercive control differently from the criminal courts. 00:00 – Is It Me, or Are They Controlling? 03:30 – What Best Illustrates Coercive Control?  04:30 – The Restaurant Metaphor: Pattern, Not a Checklist 06:00 – The 3 Ds: Disrespect, Disempowerment, Distortion 07:30 – Psychology vs Family Law: Section 4AB 09:00 – Family Court vs Criminal Court: Different Tests 10:00 – When You Lose Sight of What's Reasonable  12:00 – How Compromise & Empathy Get Weaponised 13:00 – When Your Ex Wasn't As "Extreme" as the Examples  16:00 – Is Anger & Yelling Coercive Control?  18:00 – Can It Exist Without Financial Control? 19:00 – Repeated Pressure & Monopolised Decisions ( 22:00 – Stonewalling, Delay & Deflection  25:30 – The PA Dynamic & Exploitation  28:00 – Needy or Controlling? How to Tell the Difference 30:00 – Blame-Shifting, DARVO & Perspecticide 33:00 – Infidelity, Guilt & Trying to Leave  39:00 – Silent Treatment as Punishment  43:00 – Why He Does Less When You're Sick  45:00 – Emotional Abuse vs Coercive Control 47:30 – Can the Main Breadwinner Be Controlled? 53:00 – Why Do They Do It? Can Survivors Heal?  58:00 – The Anxious, Controlling Attachment Style &  Have Your Say – Krasi's Conference Call-Out 📌 Have your say: Krasi is presenting on coercive control at the Australian National Psychology Conference. Share what you wish psychologists and therapists understood – anonymously, with optional audio. Link in the show notes. Entry form  https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/bjpm4Gy2  Resources The 3 Ds of Coercive Control – the deep-dive episode with Krasi.https://youtu.be/bRmLZBRs--o?si=YZ1951oDofDe_lw7 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 | Lifeline 13 11 14 | Police 000 Section 4AB, Family Law Act 1975 – definition of family violence Guest: Krasi Kirova, Clinical Psychologist If this helped you start to name what you've been living, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find it too.

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About

The Divorce Course Podcast is hosted by mother–daughter duo Laura Furiosi and family law specialist Lyn Galvin. Together, they break down the complex world of separation and divorce into clear, practical, and empowering conversations. From property settlements and parenting arrangements to dealing with difficult exes, finances, and family court, the podcast gives listeners the knowledge, tools, and confidence to navigate divorce without feeling lost or alone.

Information

  • Creator
    Laura & Lyn
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodes
    265
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2024 The Divorce Online Course & Podcast
  • Show Website
    The Divorce Course Podcast

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