In this episode, Shaun sits down with Jonny Miller, the founder of Nervous System Mastery and host of The Inner Frontier Podcast. As a tech leader and father of two, Shaun explores the messy reality of staying regulated when kids push every "magic button" we have. Jonny reframes the nervous system not as something to be "beaten into submission," but as the primary lens through which we experience our relationships, our creativity, and our capacity to lead our families. Key Takeaways The Nervous System is the "Upstream" Lens: Your nervous system dictates the quality of your attention, relationships, and creativity. Rather than a victim-to-villain dynamic where you must "grind" through stress, mastery is about befriending the system and understanding that your kids' nervous systems are often a direct reflection of your own.Interoception is the Lead Domino: Most men are "numb from the neck down," missing the internal data (heat in the chest, sweating palms) that signals rising anger. By noticing these sensations when they are a "2 or 3 out of 10" rather than an "11 out of 10" rage blackout, you gain the agency to intervene before reacting.Reducing the "Half-Life" of Reactivity: The goal is not to never be triggered, but to reduce how long you stay in a hijacked state. Instead of carrying unprocessed grief or anger for days or weeks, nervous system skills allow you to move back into your "window of tolerance" in minutes.Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Regulation: While we often try to "think" our way out of stress (top-down), there are four times more neurons going from the body to the brain than vice-versa. Leveraging "bottom-up" tools like breathwork, humming, or cold exposure is a high-leverage way to signal safety to the brain when the mind is racing.Paying Off "Emotional Debt": Repressing emotions to "get the job done" (the Clint Eastwood model) builds a debt that eventually leads to burnout or health crises. Shifting from "grinding" to "courageous curiosity" allows men to metabolize this debt and reclaim a sense of aliveness and joy.Quotes from Jonny Miller "The nervous system is quite literally the lens through which we experience life." "Joy is the matriarch of a family of emotions, and she won't come into a house where her children aren't welcome." "All leadership is ultimately self-leadership." Timestamps / Chapter Markers 00:00 — Kids and Emotional Fluidity 00:27 — What Is Nervous System Mastery? 01:53 — Grit, Hustle, and the Problem With Suppression 03:59 — Reducing the Half-Life of Reactivity 05:51 — Leadership Starts With Self-Regulation 07:09 — When Kids Trigger What We Can’t Control 09:09 — Why We Try to Fix Other People’s Emotions 10:57 — Interoception: Awareness of the Inner World 12:48 — Interoception vs. Introspection 13:30 — The Daily “Internal Weather Report” 15:48 — Parenting in the Weeds 17:40 — Curiosity Without Judgment 19:06 — Emotional Fluidity vs. Emotional Manipulation 20:44 — Kids Learn What We Model, Not What We Say 21:30 — Teaching Children to Trust Their Inner Signals 22:48 — Practicing Awareness Throughout the Day 24:45 — NSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest) 26:07 — Where to Learn NSDR 28:03 — Top-Down vs. Bottom-Up Regulation 29:36 — Why Body-Based Practices Work Better 30:46 — Outside-In Regulation: Designing Your Environment 32:18 — Co-Regulation: Why Connection Heals 34:16 — Anxiety as Constriction 36:13 — Emotional Debt and Burnout 37:37 — What Changes for High-Achieving Men 39:34 — Deep Somatic Work and Emotional Excavation 41:18 — Making Time Creates More Time 41:33 — One Practice for Immediate Regulation 43:34 — Boundaries, Calendars, and Spaciousness 45:08 — Presence as a Competitive Advantage 47:06 — Distraction, Rage Bait, and Emotional Hooking 49:21 — Interoception as an Antidote to Screens 51:36 — The Opportunity Hidden in Modern Overstimulation 53:13 — One Operating Principle: Embrace Emotional Intensity 54:23 — Regulating Kids by Regulating Ourselves 55:14 — Making Space for Anger 56:33 — Screaming Together: A Story of Co-Regulation 57:25 — Closing Reflections Resources, Tools, & Concepts Mentioned NSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest): A guided body scan popularized by Andrew Huberman that provides the recovery equivalent of two hours of sleep in just 30 minutes.State Shifts: An app featuring recordings for nervous system regulation.Physiological Sigh: A breathing protocol used to rapidly down-regulate the system.Orienting Practice: A quick grounding tool: name three things you see, two you hear, and one you feel.Yoga Nidra: A restorative practice for cultivating high-definition internal awareness.People to Follow: Andrew Huberman: For the science of NSDR and the physiological sigh.Ally Boothroyd: Recommended for her Yoga Nidra recordings on YouTube.Joe Hudson: Creator of the "Joy as the Matriarch" metaphor.Where to find Jonny: Website: https://nsmastery.com/Podcast: The Inner Frontier https://open.spotify.com/show/1lGD5wIfhnE4bepja42C9S
