The Human Intimacy Podcast

Humanintimacy

Intimacy is a fundamental human experience that goes far beyond romantic relationships. Join us as we dive into the deep and multifaceted layers of human connection, exploring everything from friendship and family bonds to self-love and vulnerability. Through thought-provoking conversations with experts, personal stories, and practical advice, we’ll uncover the secrets to nurturing meaningful relationships in a fast-paced digital world. From exploring trust and fostering emotional intimacy to navigating conflicts and rediscovering oneself, we’re here to discover the essence of what it means to truly connect with others and ourselves. Whether you’re seeking to improve your relationships, gain insights into human behaviors, or simply crave a meaningful conversation that enriches your understanding of human connection, you won’t want to miss a single episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast.

  1. 1d ago

    Why Do I Still Feel Stuck? Understanding the Hidden Barriers to Healing After Betrayal (Episode #127)

    Why Do I Still Feel Stuck? Understanding the Hidden Barriers to Healing After Betrayal Episode Summary One of the most common questions betrayed partners ask is, "Why do I still feel stuck?" Despite reading books, attending therapy, participating in support groups, and listening to countless podcasts, many people feel like they aren't making the progress they expected. In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore why feeling "stuck" is often a normal part of the healing process rather than a sign of failure. They discuss how trauma symptoms, incomplete disclosure, unresolved questions, unrealistic expectations, and misplaced responsibility can all interfere with recovery. The conversation also highlights the difference between individual healing and relational healing, emphasizing that while a relationship may temporarily feel stuck, an individual does not have to remain there. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn explain how healthy boundaries, differentiation, trauma-informed therapy, support groups, and compassionate communication create the conditions for lasting progress. Listeners will also learn why healing is a journey rather than an event, why comparing your progress to someone else's can be harmful, and how small intentional steps toward joy, self-awareness, and personal growth often become the turning points that move people forward. Whether you are the betrayed partner, the partner seeking recovery, or a clinician walking alongside couples, this episode offers practical guidance and hope for navigating one of the most discouraging stages of betrayal recovery. Key Takeaways Feeling stuck is often a normal part of betrayal trauma recovery. Healing is a journey, not a single event or milestone. Trauma symptoms such as intrusive thoughts, triggers, nightmares, and hypervigilance often improve gradually—not immediately. Full therapeutic disclosure often becomes a major turning point in healing. You cannot control another person's recovery or prevent someone else's relapse. Healthy boundaries focus on your response rather than controlling another person's behavior. Differentiation builds confidence by helping you act consistently with your own values. Trauma-informed therapies such as EMDR, Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART), and Internal Family Systems (IFS) can significantly assist healing. Support groups and trusted relationships provide essential stability when a partner cannot yet respond with empathy. Recovery grows through self-awareness, compassion, patience, and small daily steps rather than perfection. Resources To learn more about betrayal trauma recovery, relationship healing, and the Intimacy Repair Method (IRM), visit: Human Intimacy: https://www.humanintimacy.com Explore courses, assessments, podcasts, and additional recovery resources designed for individuals and couples rebuilding trust after betrayal. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may benefit from this conversation. Together we can help create healthier relationships built on honesty, compassion, and lasting intimacy.

  2. Jul 8

    Differentiation: Staying Connected Without Losing Yourself (Episode #126)

    Differentiation: Staying Connected Without Losing Yourself Episode Summary Healthy relationships require both deep connection and a strong sense of self. In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the concept of differentiation—the ability to remain emotionally connected to your partner while maintaining your own identity, values, emotions, and personal responsibility. The discussion examines how betrayal trauma often leads couples toward emotional enmeshment, where one partner's emotions, behaviors, or recovery begin to consume the other person's identity. Dr. Skinner explains why healing is not about becoming emotionally detached, but about developing the capacity to remain present with a partner's pain without becoming overwhelmed by it. Listeners will learn the difference between differentiation, attunement, emotional contagion, empathy, and compassion, and why these concepts are often confused. The episode also highlights the importance of self-awareness, healthy boundaries, personal identity, and individual responsibility in creating lasting intimacy after betrayal. Rather than trying to control a partner's recovery or emotions, healing occurs when each person learns to "stay in their own lane" while intentionally nurturing the relationship they are building together. Key Topics Discussed What differentiation is—and what it is not The difference between differentiation and emotional enmeshment Attunement versus emotional contagion Why betrayal trauma often causes partners to lose themselves Developing greater self-awareness and personal identity Healthy boundaries and personal responsibility The relationship between empathy and compassion Learning to stay in your own lane while remaining emotionally connected Caring for yourself without disconnecting from your partner Building a relationship where two healthy individuals create lasting intimacy together Resources If today's conversation resonated with you, we invite you to explore the many resources available through Human Intimacy. Visit Human Intimacy to: Take relationship and recovery assessments Explore our online courses for betrayed partners, individuals in recovery, and couples Learn about our relationship intensives and workshops Access books, articles, and educational resources on betrayal trauma, intimacy, and relationship repair Stay informed about upcoming events, trainings, and new podcast episodes If you have questions or would like to connect with us, email us at info@humanintimacy.com. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share the Human Intimacy Podcast with someone who could benefit from today's conversation. Your support helps us continue providing evidence-based resources to individuals and couples seeking healthier, stronger, and more connected relationships.

  3. Jul 1

    How to Deal with Getting Cheated On: The First Steps Toward Healing After Betrayal (Episode #125)

    How to Deal with Getting Cheated On: The First Steps Toward Healing After Betrayal Podcast Summary What do you do after discovering your partner has cheated? Where do you even begin? In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis tackle one of the most painful questions a person can ask: How do I deal with getting cheated on? Rather than offering quick fixes or encouraging you to simply "move on," they explain why infidelity often creates a genuine trauma response—and why healing begins with stabilization and safety before rebuilding trust or repairing a relationship. Drawing from decades of clinical experience and current research on betrayal trauma, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn discuss why your mind and body react the way they do after discovering infidelity and outline the first steps toward recovery. In this episode, you'll learn: Why discovering infidelity often feels like psychological trauma. How betrayal affects your nervous system, sleep, appetite, and emotions. Why hypervigilance, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts are normal trauma responses. The difference between emotional stabilization and relationship repair. Practical ways to begin caring for yourself after discovery. Why safety looks different for the betrayed partner and the partner who acted out. The importance of finding trusted support instead of trying to heal alone. How the Intimacy Repair Method (IRM) provides a roadmap for healing after betrayal. Whether your discovery happened days ago or years ago, this conversation offers validation, hope, and practical guidance to help you begin moving forward. Resources Mentioned 💙 Walking Through Betrayal Trauma: 100-Day Course A comprehensive step-by-step course designed to help betrayed partners stabilize, understand betrayal trauma, and begin healing. https://www.humanintimacy.com/course/100-days-to-healing-after-sexual-betrayal 🛡️ Boundaries Course Learn how healthy boundaries create safety, reduce anxiety, and support lasting healing after betrayal. https://www.humanintimacy.com 🌱 RISE: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal A podcast series and companion course created specifically for betrayed partners, providing education, validation, and practical tools for recovery. https://www.humanintimacy.com 🔄 RECLAIM: Recovery from Unwanted Sexual Behaviors A podcast and course designed to help individuals understand the roots of unwanted sexual behaviors while developing integrity, accountability, and lasting recovery. https://www.humanintimacy.com/reclaim 📊 Participate in the Grief After Betrayal Impact Scale (GABIS) Research Help advance research on betrayal trauma by participating in the Grief After Betrayal Impact Scale (GABIS). Your anonymous participation contributes to a better understanding of the emotional and physical effects of betrayal. https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/GABIS-2 🤝 Human Intimacy Support Groups & Resources Discover online support groups, courses, intensives, podcasts, assessments, and additional resources designed to help both betrayed partners and individuals seeking recovery. https://www.humanintimacy.com If this episode encouraged you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need hope today. Healing after betrayal is possible, and you don't have to walk the journey alone.

  4. Jun 24

    We Did the Disclosure… Now What? Why Healing Still Feels Incomplete (Episode #124)

    Disclosure Is the Beginning, Not the End Summary Many couples assume that once disclosure, impact letters, and emotional restitution are complete, healing should naturally follow. Yet many still find themselves feeling disconnected and wondering why they continue to struggle. In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explain why disclosure is not the finish line but the foundation for rebuilding a relationship. Recovery and trauma work address secrecy and pain, but they do not automatically teach couples how to communicate, listen deeply, regulate emotions, and reconnect. Healing requires learning relationship skills, addressing old patterns, and developing new ways of showing up for one another. The journey doesn't end with disclosure—it begins there. Resources Mentioned Human Intimacy Podcast (previous episodes on Therapeutic Disclosure, Impact Letters, and Emotional Restitution) Human Intimacy Podcast Deep Listening: A Healing Practice to Calm Your Body, Clear Your Mind, and Open Your Heart by Jillian Pransky Deep Listening by Jillian Pransky The Intimacy Repair Method (courses, intensives, and relationship skill-building resources) Intimacy Repair Method Human Intimacy Podcast Companion Course (free reflections, exercises, and video lessons) Human Intimacy Podcast Companion Course Human Intimacy Courses (communication, emotional connection, and relationship education) Human Intimacy Courses Couples Intensives with Dr. Kevin Skinner Human Intimacy Website These resources are discussed as ways to continue developing the relationship skills necessary for healing after disclosure.

  5. Jun 17

    How Do We Create Safety in a Relationship? 10 Keys to Rebuilding Trust and Connection (Episode # 123)

    How Do We Create Safety in a Relationship? 10 Keys to Rebuilding Trust and Connection In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most important questions couples can ask themselves: “How do we create safety in a relationship?” Drawing from attachment theory, betrayal trauma recovery, and clinical experience, they discuss how safety is not simply a thought or belief—it is a physiological experience that occurs when the nervous system feels secure enough to relax, connect, and trust. The conversation examines how unresolved wounds, betrayal, childhood experiences, and past traumas can disrupt a person's sense of safety and create hypervigilance, fear, and emotional distance. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn explain why repairing safety requires more than good intentions; it requires consistent actions that help both partners feel seen, understood, and protected. The episode outlines 10 practical ways couples can create safety, including accountability, humility, recovery work, emotional openness, compassion, vulnerability, communication skills, and attunement. Listeners are invited to reflect on what safety feels like in their own bodies, identify unresolved experiences that may still be influencing their relationships, and consider the specific behaviors that help foster trust and connection. Whether rebuilding after betrayal or strengthening an existing relationship, this episode offers a framework for understanding safety as the foundation of healing, intimacy, and secure attachment. Key Takeaways Safety is experienced through the nervous system before it is experienced cognitively. Unresolved wounds often create hypervigilance and make trust more difficult. Betrayal recovery requires intentional efforts to rebuild safety through actions, not promises. Couples can strengthen safety by practicing accountability, compassion, vulnerability, and attunement. Understanding what safety feels like physically can help individuals recognize when they are moving toward or away from connection. Creating safety is a skill that both partners can learn and practice over time. Resources Mentioned Books Attached — Amir Levine The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work — John Gottman & Nan Silver Wired for Love — Stan Tatkin The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der Kolk The Betrayal Bond — Patrick Carnes Research and Clinical Concepts Attachment Theory Betrayal Trauma Hypervigilance and PTSD Symptoms Nervous System Regulation Attunement and Secure Connection The Zeigarnik Effect Compassion vs. Empathy in Relationship Healing Provisional Perception (Patrick Carnes) Relationship Safety and Co-Regulation Learn More About the Intimacy Repair Method (IRM) The concepts discussed in this episode are foundational principles of the Intimacy Repair Method (IRM)—a structured approach to helping individuals and couples heal from betrayal, rebuild safety, restore trust, and create deeper emotional connection. The IRM focuses on seven core pillars of healing: Stabilization Safety Boundaries Transparency and Integrity Empathy Repairing Reality Connection and Intimacy Through education, practical tools, guided exercises, and relationship-building skills, the Intimacy Repair Method helps couples move from crisis and uncertainty toward healing, security, and lasting connection. Note: If you are recovering from betrayal or working to rebuild trust in your relationship, the principles discussed in this episode are explored in greater depth through the Intimacy Repair Method (IRM), a comprehensive framework designed to help couples create safety, restore trust, and strengthen emotional connection. Learn more about the Intimacy Repair Method: https://intimacyrepairmethod.com

  6. Jun 10

    How to Strengthen Your Relationship: The Questions Every Couple Should Be Asking (Episode #122)

    How to Strengthen Your Relationship: The Questions Every Couple Should Be Asking Podcast Summary Relationships rarely fail because couples stop caring. More often, they struggle because they stop asking the questions that create understanding, connection, and growth. In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the questions every couple should be asking to strengthen their relationship, improve communication, and build deeper emotional intimacy. Rather than focusing solely on relationship advice, they discuss how meaningful self-reflection and intentional conversations can help couples gain clarity about where they are, where they want to go, and how they want to show up for one another. Topics include rebuilding trust, creating emotional safety, vulnerability, attachment, relationship expectations, annual marriage check-ins, and navigating life's unexpected challenges. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn discuss how experiences such as betrayal, infertility, parenting stress, health concerns, and other major life transitions often force couples to reevaluate their priorities and rediscover what matters most in their relationship. Listeners will learn how thoughtful questions can uncover hidden assumptions, increase self-awareness, reduce resentment, and strengthen connection. The episode also explores the relationship between safety, trust, vulnerability, and emotional intimacy, drawing on insights from attachment theory, relationship research, and neuroscience. Whether you're recovering from betrayal, working through conflict, or simply seeking a stronger and healthier marriage, this conversation offers practical tools to help you create more meaningful and intentional relationships. What You'll Learn Why the question "What are we doing?" can transform a relationship How relationship goals evolve over time The importance of annual marriage check-ins How trust, safety, and vulnerability influence connection Why major life events often require couples to reassess their relationship The role of self-awareness in relationship success How asking better questions leads to deeper emotional intimacy Practical journaling and reflection exercises for couples How to identify and address unspoken resentments Why relationship growth requires intentional effort Key Questions from This Episode What are we doing in this relationship? Why do I want to be in this relationship? What kind of relationship do I want moving forward? How am I showing up as a partner? Am I being the person I want to be? What am I feeling right now? How often am I listening versus defending? What conversations have we been avoiding? What do I want our relationship to look like one year from now? How can I contribute more positively to our relationship? Resources Mentioned Relationship Research & Attachment John Gottman & Julie Gottman Stephen Porges Peggy Vaughan Jim Collins Recommended Reading The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Eight Dates Attached Secure  Learn more @ HumanIntimacy.com

  7. Jun 3

    Affair, Addiction, or Something More? Understanding the Story Behind Sexual Betrayal (Episode #121)

    Affair, Addiction, or Something More? Understanding the Story Behind Sexual Betrayal Summary In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most confusing and emotionally overwhelming questions couples face after betrayal: Was this “just” an affair, or is there something deeper happening? Together, they discuss the critical importance of understanding the full story behind sexual betrayal before attempting relationship repair. The conversation explores the differences between infidelity, compulsive sexual behavior, pornography addiction, emotional affairs, and trauma-driven patterns, while emphasizing why proper assessment and professional support are often essential. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn explain how secrecy, deception, and incomplete information impact the betrayed partner’s nervous system, often leading to anxiety, hypervigilance, and worst-case-scenario thinking. They also discuss why premature couples therapy can sometimes do more harm than good when active betrayal or addiction is still occurring. Additional topics include: The progression of sexual behaviors Sexual history timelines and formal disclosures Trauma reenactment and attachment wounds The Zeigarnik Effect and unresolved emotional pain The impact of pornography and online sexual behaviors Why understanding the roots of behavior matters for healing How assessment tools help therapists identify deeper patterns This episode offers compassionate guidance for individuals and couples trying to make sense of betrayal, while reminding listeners that healing becomes possible when the full story is brought into the light. Resources Mentioned in This Episode Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) Directory IITAP (International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals) SexHelp Therapist Directory Topics Discussed Sexual History Timelines Formal Therapeutic Disclosure Emotional Restitution Letters Betrayal Trauma The Zeigarnik Effect Trauma Reenactment Attachment Injuries Stabilization Before Couples Therapy Sexual Dependency Inventory (SDI) Sexual Digital Media Inventory (SDMI) Additional Human Intimacy Resources Human Intimacy Dr. Kevin Skinner

  8. May 27

    Confident Conversations: Teaching Children Healthy Intimacy, Connection, and Emotional Safety (Episode #120) (with Dan Oakes)

    Confident Conversations: Teaching Children Healthy Intimacy, Connection, and Emotional Safety (with Dan Oakes) Summary In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner sits down with Dan Oakes to discuss parenting, healthy sexuality, emotional connection, and prevention in today’s digital culture. Dan shares insights from his new book, Confident Conversations: Teaching Your Children to Develop Healthy Intimacy, which helps parents navigate difficult but essential conversations about sexuality, intimacy, attachment, and emotional regulation. Together, they explore how many parents feel uncomfortable discussing sexuality because they themselves were never taught how to approach these conversations in healthy, emotionally connected ways. The discussion reframes sexuality not as something shameful, but as a normal human drive connected to attachment, connection, and emotional intimacy. Dan explains how shame becomes attached to core human urges and how this can create cycles of restriction, secrecy, binge behaviors, anxiety, and compulsive pornography use. Using relatable metaphors and attachment-based principles, the conversation highlights the importance of replacing shame with openness, emotional safety, and co-regulation. The episode also explores: the connection between shame and anxiety, how pornography functions as a “supernormal stimulus,” why novelty and dopamine influence compulsive behaviors, the importance of emotional connection in prevention, and how parents can build trust and emotional safety with their children. Dan shares five foundational parenting principles from his book: Build trust above all else Protect the home environment Teach progressive developmental facts early Model healthy affection Respond with calm rather than fear or shame Throughout the conversation, Dr. Skinner and Dan emphasize that prevention begins with connection, emotional safety, and courageous conversations. The episode offers practical guidance for parents, grandparents, therapists, and educators seeking to help children develop healthy intimacy, emotional resilience, and meaningful human connection in a highly digital world. Resources & References Mentioned Book Confident Conversations: Teaching Your Children to Develop Healthy Intimacy — Dan Oakes Researchers & Concepts Sue Johnson — attachment and emotional responsiveness Niko Tinbergen — supernormal stimulus theory Co-regulation and auto-regulation research Attachment and emotional bonding principles Novelty, dopamine, and compulsive behavior research Shame cycles and compulsive sexual behavior patterns Key Topics Discussed Parenting and healthy sexuality Shame versus healthy sexual development Emotional regulation and attachment Pornography and supernormal stimuli Anxiety, shame, and compulsive behaviors Co-regulation and self-regulation Human intimacy and emotional connection Prevention strategies for pornography addiction Building trust with children Healthy affection and attachment Digital culture and emotional isolation Emotional safety in families

Ratings & Reviews

4.6
out of 5
18 Ratings

About

Intimacy is a fundamental human experience that goes far beyond romantic relationships. Join us as we dive into the deep and multifaceted layers of human connection, exploring everything from friendship and family bonds to self-love and vulnerability. Through thought-provoking conversations with experts, personal stories, and practical advice, we’ll uncover the secrets to nurturing meaningful relationships in a fast-paced digital world. From exploring trust and fostering emotional intimacy to navigating conflicts and rediscovering oneself, we’re here to discover the essence of what it means to truly connect with others and ourselves. Whether you’re seeking to improve your relationships, gain insights into human behaviors, or simply crave a meaningful conversation that enriches your understanding of human connection, you won’t want to miss a single episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast.

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