40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.

Rick Clemons
  • 4.6 (101)
  • SEXUALITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Welcome to the only podcast exploring the messiness, awesomeness, of masculinity of being a gay man over 40. Each episode is about sparking idea, addressing challenges, and diving deep into what it looks like to be a vulnerable gay guy. We talk about the stuff us gay guys have a hard time talking about, man-to-man: masculinity, sex, careers, our bodies, parenting, sexuality, failures, success, and aging, relationships, coming out - nothing is off limits. 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk is the revamped version of 40 Plus: Real Men. Real Talk podcast and is a short format podcast that's easy to digest. We take deep dives - one topic at a time - digging up the truth of what it’s like to be a gay man, instead of some contrived expectation of masculinity. We’re reclaiming manhood and our masculinity by facing our fears, making bold moves, and living life without apologies. Join us, but you've got to drop your BS, forget posturing, and be ready to explore the comical dysfunctions of our lives as gay men 40+ years of age!

  1. 3H AGO

    Shaun Williams Knows Why Gay Men Are Exhausted and Nobody Is Talking About It

    Gay men are burning out in silence and calling it fine. Shaun Williams, therapist, late bloomer, and co-founder of Gay Fathers Worldwide, has spent years inside that silence and knows exactly what it is costing us. After coming out in 2019 following decades of living someone else's story, Shaun built Bent Couch Counselling and a global community of over 1,300 gay fathers because the existing resources were not built for men like him. He and Rick get brutally honest about the mental load of coming out later in life, why gay men perform connection instead of feeling it, and what it actually takes to stop running and start healing. Key Takeaways: Why gay men over 40 carry a mental load that never gets named or treatedHow coming out later in life creates a specific kind of burnout nobody warns you aboutWhy 61% of gay couples report feeling lonely even inside their relationshipsWhat performing connection instead of feeling it is doing to gay men's mental healthHow to create emotional safety at home when you never had a roadmap for it About Shaun Shaun Williams is the heart behind Bent Couch Counselling, a compassionate and inclusive mental health service launched in October 2022. Built on empathy and lived experience, Bent Couch offers a safe space for men and LGBTQ+ individuals to navigate life’s challenges with dignity and support. Shaun came out in 2019 after decades of living a different story. That personal journey—full of courage, grief, and growth— became the foundation for the work he does today. His mission is simple but powerful: to walk alongside others as they rediscover resilience, self-acceptance, and connection. At Bent Couch, Shaun supports clients facing burnout, anxiety, shame, life transitions, identity exploration, and relationship complexities. Every session is grounded in non-judgement, cultural sensitivity, and a deep respect for diverse gender identities and life experiences. Beyond the counselling room, Shaun facilitates Community Couch Conversations – heartfelt group discussions for gay and queer men to connect, reflect, and be seen. He’s also the co-founder of Gay Fathers Worldwide, a thriving online support network for men who’ve had children in heterosexual relationships and are now living openly as gay. Since 2020, this community has grown to over 1,300 members across the globe – a testament to Shaun’s belief in the healing power of peer connection. Shaun lives in Melbourne with his partner and their beautifully blended family of five children. As a cis-gay man who came out later in life, he brings a rare depth of insight into the tensions between two worlds— the life he once lived and the authentic life he now embraces. His work is guided by warmth, understanding, and the unwavering belief that everyone deserves to feel at home in themselves. Connect With Shaun Website Gay Fathers Worldwide Facebook Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    49 min

  2. APR 17

    Pretty Privilege in the Gay World: Truth, Myth, and the Lie You Keep Telling Yourself – Rick Clemons

    Better looking gay men have it easier. More matches, more attention, more forgiveness in every room they walk into. Gay culture did not invent pretty privilege but it turned it into a full contact sport, and gay men over 40 have been taking the hits for decades. Today I go solo and deep on why gay culture amplifies appearance-based hierarchies beyond anything straight culture produces, what the better looking guy is actually carrying that nobody talks about, and why the real damage is not the privilege itself but the moment you handed your self-worth to a community that was never going to give it back. Key Takeaways: Why pretty privilege is real in the gay world and why gay culture makes it significantly worseWhat the conventionally attractive gay man is actually carrying that looks nothing like freedomHow apps turned daily rejection into a measurable number on your worthWhen gay men over 40 stopped deciding their own value and started waiting for the room to decideWhy stopping the negotiation is the only move that actually changes anything About Rick Gay men over 40 are done negotiating. Done tolerating careers that don't fit, relationships that stopped working, and lives built for someone else's approval. Rick Clemons is the coach, speaker, author, and podcast host who meets them there and helps them decide what comes next. Rick's approach is direct, grounded, and unapologetically adult. No therapy-speak. No motivational fluff. Just honest conversation and a clear path forward for gay men ready to stop flirting with change and actually make it. He is the author of Frankly My Dear, I'm Gay and the forthcoming Perfect Detour: A Gay Man's Guide to Handling Life's Plot Twists...and His Own B******t. His highly acclaimed podcast, 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk, has built a devoted global following of gay men navigating midlife and beyond with honesty and zero apology. Rick works with gay men on the real stuff: identity, relationships, sex, career, aging, finances, family, and the loneliness nobody wants to admit to. His standard is simple. Stop negotiating your gay life. Live like you mean it. No fears, no excuses, no apologies. Connect With Rick Website Instagram Facebook Community Monthly Chats

    29 min

  3. APR 10

    Ken Breniman on Naked Yoga, Death Awareness, and Why Gay Men Over 40 Must Stop Avoiding Mortality

    Aging hits different when you’re a gay man over 40. The body shifts. Friends disappear. Mortality stops being abstract. In this raw conversation, Ken Breniman, author, therapist, and leader of naked yoga for LGBTQ+ men, dives into death awareness, grief, body shame, loneliness, and why avoiding mortality keeps you negotiating your life. We talk orangutans in Borneo, naked yoga as radical body acceptance, and the courage it takes to face the truth about aging. If you’re over 40 and still pretending you have unlimited time, this episode will wake you up, to stop negotiating your gay life. Live like you mean it. Key takeaways: Death Awareness Is Not Morbid. It’s Clarifying.When you stop pretending you’re immortal, you stop tolerating what drains you. Mortality sharpens decision-making.Body Shame Doesn’t Expire at 40.Naked yoga isn’t about exhibitionism. It’s exposure to truth. Aging bodies deserve presence, not critique.Loneliness Doesn’t Fix Itself.Community takes intention. Waiting to “feel ready” keeps you isolated longer than you admit. About Kenneth Ken Breniman is a queer healer, writer, and elder-in-training who helps people dream more and dread less in uncertain times. He is a licensed clinical social worker, certified yoga therapist, and thanatology-informed grief educator whose work explores aging, intimacy, grief capacity, and personal death awareness, especially within LGBTQ+ communities. Ken is the author of a three body solution, an award-winning speculative sci-fi novel that uses humor, absurdity, and imagination to explore gerotranscendence, life force, and what it means to grow older without hardening or checking out. Drawing from grief work, primatology, contemplative practice, and storytelling, Ken blends depth with playfulness to make difficult conversations feel human, accessible, and even joyful. He lives with his long-time partner and believes the future belongs to those willing to stay curious, stay tender, and evolve together. Connect With Ken Website Facebook Instagram LinkedIn   Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    45 min

  4. APR 3

    Mike Elliott Says the Thing No Man Wants to Hear: Your Relationships Are a Mirror of You

    Most men spend years trying to fix their relationships by fixing the other person. Mike Elliott, LGBTQ+ ally, tried that too. It cost him his marriage. The Relational Leadership Mentor and Men's Initiation Guide rebuilt his entire life after divorce by doing the one thing men are trained to avoid: looking directly at themselves. Through a three-part framework of initiation, integration, and inspiration, Mike now guides men who are done sleepwalking through their relationships and ready to lead from something real. Mike and Rick get raw about what it actually takes to stop being reactive, take radical self-responsibility, and build a life anchored in presence instead of performance. Key Takeaways: Why self-improvement content often makes men feel more lost not lessWhat initiation actually means and why every gay man over 40 has already been through oneHow your deepest wound becomes your most powerful tool for connectionThe difference between integration and just surviving what happened to youWhy radical self-responsibility is not self-blame but the only real path forward About Mike Mike is a Relational Leadership Mentor and Men's Initiation Guide, working with men who want to have it all. He guides them to lead with Relational Authority, anchored in initiation, integration, and inspiration. Having been adopted twice and walked through the dark night of divorce, he rebuilt his life from the inside out. Now cohost of "The Sacred We," he helps men transform their relationships, starting with themselves, and create legacies of love, presence and purpose. Connect With Mike Website Instagram Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    51 min

  5. MAR 27

    Rich Burns Says the Quiet Part Out Loud That Gay Men Over 40 Have Been Thinking for Years

    Gay men over 40 have been watching themselves disappear from screens, from conversations, and from their own community's narrative for decades. Rich Burns got fed up and built the antidote. The Humanitas Prize-winning creator and star of "The Disappointments" turned personal professional failure, romantic wreckage, and the specific ache of gay male invisibility into a series with over 4 million views and a global audience that stretches far beyond the LGBTQ+ community. Rich and Rick go deep on why older gay men are still being erased, what it actually costs to tell the truth on screen, and why humor is not a coping mechanism but a weapon. Key Takeaways: Why gay men over 40 are still invisible in media and what one man did about itHow Rich used personal humiliation and career setbacks as creative rocket fuelThe financial reality most gay men live with that Hollywood keeps airbrushing outWhat 4 million views taught Rich about the universal power of gay male experienceWhy humor is not softening the blow but telling the whole truth About Rich Rich Burns is the writer, star and creator of the Humanitas Prize-winning digital series The Disappointments. He also created and serves as the head writer for the Netflix original series Mermaid Magic which debuted August 2024 at #1 on Netflix Kids, with a second season coming. He developed and wrote on the Netflix reboot of the animated series Winx Club - The Magic Is Back. He served as head writer on two other recent Netflix chart toppers: DreamWorks’ Spirit Riding Free and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. Additionally, Rich was a staff writer at Walt Disney Feature Animation, scripting successful sequels to Brother Bear (Annie Award-nominated for Best Feature - Screenplay), The Fox and The Hound and The Little Mermaid, among others. His screenplay The Dunes of Overveen, based on a true story about a gay artist in Amsterdam who led a resistance raid against the Nazis during WWII, won an Outfest Award. Connect With Rich & Watch The Disappointments Website Instgram - The Disappointments Instagram - Rich Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    39 min

  6. MAR 20

    Kit Roughhouse on Gay Erotica, Reinvention, and Telling the Truth After 40

    Many gay men over 40 are reinventing themselves after layoffs, burnout, or careers that no longer fit. Creativity becomes survival, not a hobby. In this candid conversation, Kit Roughhouse shares how a job loss, a Los Angeles gay bar, and a long-suppressed creative voice gave rise to his alter ego and career as a gay erotica writer. his episode explores why erotic storytelling matters, how gay men use fantasy to explore identity and confidence, and what it means to create meaningful work later in life. It strips away shame around desire and reframes erotica as honest storytelling rooted in lived experience. Key takeaways: Why creative reinvention often begins after loss or disruptionHow gay erotica reflects identity, confidence, and belongingWhat it takes to claim your voice later in life without apology About Kit Kit Roughhouse is a writer of M/M erotica who was born in a gay bar in East Hollywood sometime in his late 20s. The bar closed years ago, but Kit keeps its spirit alive through his gleefully sexy smut, shot through with humor and humanity. Follow Kit Roughhouse on BlueSky for frequent updates on his writing and various gay obsessions. He's also active on Instagram. Connect With Kit Website Instagram   Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    36 min

  7. MAR 13

    Belonging, Safety, and the Body: Reclaiming Authenticity as Gay Men with Devin Scott

    Why do so many gay men spend their lives trying to belong, and still feel unsafe being themselves? This episode explores the deeper layers of belonging, authenticity, and self-trust through the lens of body-based wisdom. Devin Scott, a licensed social worker and body wisdom coach, shares his journey beyond traditional therapy into somatic practices, mindfulness, and Eastern philosophy. The conversation unpacks how high-performing gay men often learn to abandon themselves in order to fit in, and how true belonging begins with feeling safe inside one’s own body. With honesty and vulnerability, Devin also reflects on a recent breakup and what it revealed about self-worth, safety, and pleasure. This is an invitation to stop performing belonging and start living it. Key takeaways: Belonging without self-trust creates exhaustion, not connection.The body often knows the truth long before the mind is ready to admit it.Safety with yourself is the foundation for authentic relationships and pleasure. About Devin Devin Scott, NBC-HWC, LMSW, helps people reconnect with their inner wisdom and move through life with greater authenticity. As the founder of Find Your Meaning, he blends body-based coaching, mindfulness, and psychological insight to support clients who feel disillusioned by traditional systems of healing. His work often draws people who have carried the weight of trauma or grown tired of “playing the game” of societal expectations, and who are now searching for something deeper, more sustainable, and more whole. With training in social work, nutrition, somatic practices, and energy healing, Devin’s approach reflects both rigor and breadth. He combines elements of psychotherapy, bodywork, and fitness with the grounding philosophies of Buddhism and yoga—without requiring clients to adopt a fixed belief system. His sessions emphasize integration: mind and body, science and spirituality, personal history and present possibility. A particular passion is his study of Leela, a thousand-year-old Indian board game that encodes spiritual teachings about human life. Devin is co-authoring a modern translation of its Sanskrit guide, bridging ancient wisdom with modern psychology and anatomy so Western audiences can explore life’s challenges as opportunities for growth. This work mirrors his philosophy with clients: emotions and struggles are not pathologies to erase but messages with purpose, pointing toward new directions of meaning. Connect With Devin Website Facebook Instagram LinkedIn   Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    50 min

  8. MAR 6

    Living Without an Esophagus: Cancer, Community, and LGBTQ Resilience with Dallas Oliver

    What happens when your body is permanently changed—and you still choose to show up fully alive? This episode features Dallas Oliver, a gay man and esophageal cancer survivor diagnosed at just 39. Dallas shares his journey through chemotherapy, radiation, major surgery, and life without an esophagus, along with the realities most people never talk about: intimacy, identity, food, energy, and grief. Out of that experience, he created a weekly LGBTQ cancer support group to offer the kind of space he couldn’t find when he needed it most. This conversation is raw, honest, and deeply human-centered on survival, chosen family, and the power of community in healing. Key takeaways: Cancer doesn’t just change the body: it reshapes identity, intimacy, and daily life.LGBTQ cancer survivors face unique challenges that deserve affirming, honest spaces.Community is not optional...it’s a critical part of healing and survival. About Dallas He was born and raised in South Georgia and left at age 23 after coming out in Piedmont Park, boarding a plane soon after for Portland, Oregon. He spent the next 14 years there living more fully as himself, with some of my most meaningful time spent in rural southern Oregon, on and around the Wolf Creek Radical Faerie Sanctuary. In 2018, he felt a strong pull to return to Atlanta, where he launched his career in massage therapy. It was also here that he faced and survived stage 3 esophageal cancer. Each chapter of his journey—geographical, professional, and deeply personal—has shaped who he is today: a 43-year-old gay man living without an esophagus, grounded in resilience, authenticity, and lived experience. Connect With Dallas Website Facebook Instagram   Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    43 min
See All (300)

4.6
out of 5
101 Ratings

About

Welcome to the only podcast exploring the messiness, awesomeness, of masculinity of being a gay man over 40. Each episode is about sparking idea, addressing challenges, and diving deep into what it looks like to be a vulnerable gay guy. We talk about the stuff us gay guys have a hard time talking about, man-to-man: masculinity, sex, careers, our bodies, parenting, sexuality, failures, success, and aging, relationships, coming out - nothing is off limits. 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk is the revamped version of 40 Plus: Real Men. Real Talk podcast and is a short format podcast that's easy to digest. We take deep dives - one topic at a time - digging up the truth of what it’s like to be a gay man, instead of some contrived expectation of masculinity. We’re reclaiming manhood and our masculinity by facing our fears, making bold moves, and living life without apologies. Join us, but you've got to drop your BS, forget posturing, and be ready to explore the comical dysfunctions of our lives as gay men 40+ years of age!

Information

  • Creator
    Rick Clemons
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    300
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2023 Rick Clemons
  • Show Website
    40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.

You Might Also Like