A Codependent Mind

Brian and Stephanie
A Codependent Mind

An honest first-hand account of descent into and emergence from codependency. Brian and Stephanie share their journey of codependency recovery and understanding. Through first-hand experience, extensive research, and countless hours of discussion with Stephanie, his life partner, Brian has been able to understand the web of behaviors that formed his ’codependency’ and to heal from the trauma and the shame that was at the root of it. Season one explores the origins of Brian’s codependent behaviors and the connection between Codependency and trauma. In addition to answering the question ”what is codependency?”, episodes on trauma bonding, narcissism, shame detail out how behaviors emerging from his childhood interpersonal trauma prevented him from developing healthy relationships as he grew into adulthood. In fact, they left him vulnerable to other disordered people like narcissists thereby exposing him to more trauma and entrenching the codependent habits even further. In season two, we outline how Brian went about healing the trauma the formed the root of his codependency. We discuss how Brian was able to recognize the abuse he had suffered and was suffering and in doing so, finally get clarity about and distance from his relationships with narcissist; how he was able to learn how to sit with his emotions, recognize what they were, where they came from and how to process them; how he had to re-write the stories about himself and his past that weren’t serving him and were actually preventing him from living an authentic, integrated life; and how he worked, and is working, to break the codependent habits that were destructive to his well being and not conducive to forming healthy, integrated relationships. Even after understanding and healing from codependency, Brian is still left with re-learning how to navigate relationships in a way that produces the kind of intimate, nurturing connections that he has always longed for. Season three addresses topics that come up in that process. In the fourth season, we investigate core concepts about relationships and the ways in which codependent behaviors can make it difficult to form and sustain loving, intimate relationships. Season 5 brings other voices into the conversations as we speak with guests who share their own ’making and re-making’ stories. We also take the opportunity to do an updated episode on narcissism. Season 6 was a reading of the book ”The Making and the Re-Making of A Codependent Mind.” The book is available on Amazon as a paperback, ebook or audiobook. The audiobook is also available on Spotify and other platforms. For season 7, each episode will focus on the tools needed to make a relationship work post-codependency.

  1. S7 - Relationship Tool #4: Curiosity

    EPISODIO 4

    S7 - Relationship Tool #4: Curiosity

    Curiosity is an important tool for doing the relationship work of fostering understanding and deepening connection. In this episode we discuss  the transformative power of curiosity, drawing on philosophical insights and evolutionary psychology. We explore how Brian's curiosity was stifled—both by external influences, like critical relationships, and internal struggles, such as fear and disassociation. By recognizing these patterns, he has learned to shift from a defensive posture to an active pursuit of knowledge and emotional exploration which has been critical for our relationship. In this episode: 00:01:44 What is Curiosity and Where Does it Come From?00:11:14 Curiosity and Trauma00:16:34 What Does Curiosity Feel Like00:21:58 Curiosity in Romantic RelationshipsSeason 4 - #1 Codependency and Relationships: Intimacy (https://www.codependentmind.com/podcast-episodes/episode/6b19fbb8/s4-1-codependency-and-relationships-intimacy) Season 4 -#13 Codependency and Relationships: You, Me, Us (https://www.codependentmind.com/podcast-episodes/episode/6e1bf1f4/s4-13-codependency-and-relationships-you-me-us) Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1 The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms.  Thank you for following or reviewing this podcast. It helps other people find the podcast.  Instagram and Facebook: @codependentmind  Email: codependentmind@gmail.com

    45 min
  2. S7 - Relationship Tool #5: Lying, Resentment and Defensiveness

    EPISODIO 5

    S7 - Relationship Tool #5: Lying, Resentment and Defensiveness

    In honor of Brian's birthday, get the e-book FREE on Amazon from Nov. 14 - Nov. 18. https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency-ebook/dp/B0CYB1K31V Relationship tools are neither good nor bad on their own. In this episode we talk about three tools that are pervasive in relationships marked by codependency - lying, resentment and defensiveness. These were Brian's go-to tools in Brian's relationship toolbox. He learned how to use them very early in childhood in order to neutralize relationship threats. As an adult, however, they have not served him well and using them in our relationship caused a lot of damage.  Mentioned in this episode: Season 4, episode 4: Trust (https://www.codependentmind.com/podcast-episodes/episode/6db6d080/s4-4-codependency-and-relationships-trust) Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1 The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms.  00:02:46 Lying as a Core Codependent Behavior00:04:55 Lying in Childhood00:10:10 Narcissistic Lying vs Codependent Lying00:12:30 Lying in Toxic Relationships00:19:14 Lying, Resentment and Defensiveness in our Relationship00:29:28 Relationship WorkThank you for liking, rating, reviewing the podcast and the book. We appreciate your support and it helps other find us. You can reach us at: codependentmind.com

    39 min
  3. S7 - Relationship Toolkit #9: Boundaries

    EPISODIO 9

    S7 - Relationship Toolkit #9: Boundaries

    Boundaries are an expression of the distinction between me and you. Understanding and respecting that distinction is critical when setting up a relationship structure that will be stable and supportive for both people in the long run. For those of us who experienced relational trauma as children, developing an understanding of ourselves as separate, autonomous beings can be compromised right from the start. Codependency, borderline personality disorder, narcissism, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, dependency, all involve a struggle to acknowledge and respect personal boundaries. In this episode, we review we review the concept of boundaries, understanding it as a stand-in for self-protection and self-respect. We then go on to discuss how to use the metaphor of boundaries to create a relationship in which both parties are respected and protected.  Mentioned in this episode: S3 - #1 Beyond Codependency - Boundaries https://www.codependentmind.com/podcast-episodes/episode/6d942938/s3-1-beyond-codependency-boundaries S4 -#13 Codependency and Relationships: You, Me, Us https://www.codependentmind.com/podcast-episodes/episode/6e1bf1f4/s4-13-codependency-and-relationships-you-me-us No Man is an Island - John Donne   00:01:56 The Metaphor of Boundaries00:06:34 Protecting Boundaries00:09:20 Respecting Boundaries00:21:52 Entitlement00:25:25 Boundaries in Relationship00:38:22 Examples of Relationship Boundaries You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1 The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms.  Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.

    45 min
4.8
de 5
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An honest first-hand account of descent into and emergence from codependency. Brian and Stephanie share their journey of codependency recovery and understanding. Through first-hand experience, extensive research, and countless hours of discussion with Stephanie, his life partner, Brian has been able to understand the web of behaviors that formed his ’codependency’ and to heal from the trauma and the shame that was at the root of it. Season one explores the origins of Brian’s codependent behaviors and the connection between Codependency and trauma. In addition to answering the question ”what is codependency?”, episodes on trauma bonding, narcissism, shame detail out how behaviors emerging from his childhood interpersonal trauma prevented him from developing healthy relationships as he grew into adulthood. In fact, they left him vulnerable to other disordered people like narcissists thereby exposing him to more trauma and entrenching the codependent habits even further. In season two, we outline how Brian went about healing the trauma the formed the root of his codependency. We discuss how Brian was able to recognize the abuse he had suffered and was suffering and in doing so, finally get clarity about and distance from his relationships with narcissist; how he was able to learn how to sit with his emotions, recognize what they were, where they came from and how to process them; how he had to re-write the stories about himself and his past that weren’t serving him and were actually preventing him from living an authentic, integrated life; and how he worked, and is working, to break the codependent habits that were destructive to his well being and not conducive to forming healthy, integrated relationships. Even after understanding and healing from codependency, Brian is still left with re-learning how to navigate relationships in a way that produces the kind of intimate, nurturing connections that he has always longed for. Season three addresses topics that come up in that process. In the fourth season, we investigate core concepts about relationships and the ways in which codependent behaviors can make it difficult to form and sustain loving, intimate relationships. Season 5 brings other voices into the conversations as we speak with guests who share their own ’making and re-making’ stories. We also take the opportunity to do an updated episode on narcissism. Season 6 was a reading of the book ”The Making and the Re-Making of A Codependent Mind.” The book is available on Amazon as a paperback, ebook or audiobook. The audiobook is also available on Spotify and other platforms. For season 7, each episode will focus on the tools needed to make a relationship work post-codependency.

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