Adoption Unfiltered Adoption Unfiltered

“There’s so much out there about the people who are ‘successful’ at adopting, but there’s nothing about people who have walked away from the process.” — Jess Tennant, a woman who decided NOT to adopt, due, in part, to predatory adoption agency practices, in ep 31.

Jess, is an ally in unfiltering adoption. In 2017 after waiting to adopt for many years, Jess and her husband decided to halt their efforts. Some of the reasons are chilling, as you’ll hear in her story.

Jess is a beloved public school teacher in upstate NY, specializing in middle school special ed. She shares sentiments prospective adopters hear from adoption agencies that will make you squirm. She also shares observations about the culture of pronatalism and the ways it shows up pervasively for those wanting to adopt, and even more loudly for those who decide not to.

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Resources:


Jess is featured in Chapter 19 of Adoption Unfiltered
Jess’s current blog: Finding a Different Path
Jess’s infertility and adoption blog: My Path to Mommyhood
Jess’s journey to openness
Interview with Jess in Ep. 306 of Adoption: The Long View
Sara’s Newsweek article (mentioned)
Jess’s panel for World Childless Week: “Oops! I completely forgot I could just adopt! Thanks for reminding me.”
Gateway Women’s Collective via Childless Collective
Resources through World Childless Week
The NotMom by Choice or by Chance

Sara Easterly:


Sara’s Website
Searching for Mom: A Memoir
Adoptee-Voices.com
@saraeasterlyauthor



Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard:


Twisted Sisterhood Podcast
Love, Your Birth Mom
@fromanothamotha

Lori Holden:


Lori’s Website
The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption
Adoption: The Long View Podcast
@lavluz

“Let’s start talking about mothers in crisis.” — Patrice Martin, DBA, on the many failures of baby boxes, in ep 30.
Patrice Martin is uniquely qualified to speak on the topic of baby boxes, which is a phenomenon that takes existing Safe Haven laws an unnecessary step too far. Patrice herself was abandoned as a newborn.
Hear why, in spite of — because of! — her own history as a “foundling,” Patrice is arguing in front of state legislatures around the country against baby boxes and how to get better results with proposed funding than putting babies in boxes.
Sara talks about what this extra disconnection from humans and from one’s origins means to adoptees. Kelsey explains the differences between existing Safe Haven laws and the Baby Box movement, and the false dichotomy about Baby Boxes. Lori suggests that when a supporter of this legislation holds up the use of a baby box as a success, that instead, it is a failure.

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Dr. Patrice Martin:

Patrice’s story on TLC’s Long Long Family
Angela Tucker’s interview with Patrice
Patrice’s testimony on TN HB2067 (begins at 55:40)
Continuity of Care study
Patrice on Instagram
Adoptee Prayer Collective on Instagram

Sara Easterly:

Sara’s Website
Searching for Mom: A Memoir
Adoptee-Voices.com
@saraeasterlyauthor

Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard:

Twisted Sisterhood Podcast
Love, Your Birth Mom
@fromanothamotha

Lori Holden:

Lori’s Website
The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption
Adoption: The Long View Podcast
@lavluz


Adoption Unfiltered’s episode on the Abortion/Adoption debate
Colorado’s Baby Box Bill: Lori’s Testimony At The State Capitol

“Our decision and application to adopt literally caused what happened to the very child we wanted to help.” —Jessica Davis, Founder and Executive Director of Kugatta, in ep 29.

What if you discovered that the child you adopted was not actually an orphan, but someone who had been trafficked away from her family and placed in an orphanage on your behalf? This is the situation faced by activist Jessica Davis, founder and executive director of the nonprofit Kugatta.com. You don’t want to miss her story of courage and conviction, and if you’re an adoptive parent, you will for sure be asking yourself, “what would I do?”

Maureen McCauley is mom to four interracial adoptees (all adults now), through U.S. infant adoption (her sons) and through Ethiopian adoption (her daughters). She also has three granddaughters. Through her long-running blog Light of Day Stories, Maureen investigates and brings us stories that need more light on them. She is a co-facilitator with Adoption Mosaic for “Seasoned Parents,” a class for adoptive parents who want to better understand adoption and whose children are adults, and “Navigating Estrangement,” for adoptive parents who are estranged from their adult children. Her wisdom, on display here, has helped so many.

Sara shares how accountability to the adoptee by the adoptive parent eventually becomes necessary. Kelsey offers a formal invitation to adoptive parents. Lori points to the importance of alignment of adoptive parent’s needs and adoptee’s needs. When they’re in conflict, which one takes precedence?



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Related Conversations:


Adoption Unfiltered interview with Kathryn Joyce, author of The Child Catchers
Lori’s interview with Maureen McCauley on the Dance of Adoptive Parenting

Jessica Davis:


Kugatta

Maureen McCauley:


Light of Day Stories
Lions Roaring Far From Home
Adoption Mosaic’s Seasoned Parents course (and others)

Sara Easterly:


Sara’s Website
Searching for Mom: A Memoir
Adoptee-Voices.com
@saraeasterlyauthor

Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard:


Twisted Sisterhood Podcast
Love, Your Birth Mom
@fromanothamotha

Lori Holden:


Lori’s Website
The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption
Adoption: The Long View Podcast
@lavluz

“So many parents are showing up and listening. I’m going to keep showing up with them.” —April Dinwoodie, episode 28.

After decades in this space as a transracial adoptee, activist, executive director, podcaster, mentor, and many other roles, what still surprises April? How might people do this work in a healthy way? What can be the personal costs of advocacy? We talk about this and so much more in a fascinating conversation that covers family preservation, the state of adoption, and spaces in between.



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April Dinwoodie:


April’s Website
Adoption Knowledge Affiliates
Transracial Journeys
Quality Improvement Center
Born in June Raised in April Podcast
Calendar Conversations Podcast
@aprildinwoodie
@juneinapril

 

Sara Easterly:


Sara’s Website
Searching for Mom: A Memoir
Adoptee-Voices.com
@saraeasterlyauthor

 

Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard:


Twisted Sisterhood Podcast
Love, Your Birth Mom
@fromanothamotha

 

Lori Holden:


Lori’s Website
The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption
Adoption: The Long View Podcast
@lavluz

“You’re dealing with a lot of external politics, but there are a lot of internal politics, too.” —Betsie Norris, Founder and Executive Director of Adoption Network, in ep 27.

How did original birth certificates become available to adult adoptees in Ohio? What were the arguments of the those opposed? What can be the effect of activism on our loved ones, like Betsie’s adoptive father?

Betsie also reveals the pressing issues today and lessons learned after 35 years as an accidental activist for the next wave of activists.

“When I found out the name of my birth mother, it was the first time I felt tethered to the earth … in many respects, I was then able to walk on the earth.” —Greg Luce, Executive Director of Adoptees United and Attorney and Founder, Adoptee Rights Law Center

Why does Greg work so passionately to open original birth records to adult adoptees in remaining closed states? Which are the states to watch this legislative session? What/who was the practice of sealing records designed to protect? (May not be what you think.)

Are there downsides of transparency when the situation involves victims of sexual abuse, domestic violence, or human trafficking?

What prevents adoptees from being able to get drivers’ licenses, passports, and other forms of identity documentation?

How is it that there are ongoing deportations of adoptees who had been adopted by US citizens, and what is adoptive parents’ role in rectifying this?

Kelsey, Sara, and Lori explore all this and more with Greg. Listen in for issues that have great import for not only adoptees, but also birth parents and adoptive parents.