#AmWriting

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#AmWriting is a podcast and Groupstack hosted by KJ Dell’Antonia, Jess Lahey, Sarina Bowen, & Jennie Nash. Listen, read and join up for hard-won advice and inspiration to help you play big in your writing life and finish work that matters. amwriting.substack.com

  1. Hot Seat Coaching: Building a Killer Twist: Going Deeper Inside a Gothic Mystery Blueprint

    1D AGO

    Hot Seat Coaching: Building a Killer Twist: Going Deeper Inside a Gothic Mystery Blueprint

    Andrew returns with his latest blueprint for a gothic mystery, and the coaching quickly zeroes in on what will make it work: a clear, compelling villain and twists that truly land. With help from thriller coach and Thrillerfest executive director Samantha Skal, the discussion unpacks the hidden layer of the story—what the villain is actually doing—and how that contrasts with the protagonist’s assumptions. As they dig in, it becomes clear that strengthening the mystery means making the murders more personal, introducing a convincing false suspect, and mapping both the visible story and the truth underneath it. By the end, Andrew has a sharper path forward: deepen the villain’s motive, raise the stakes earlier, and build each twist so it feels both surprising and inevitable. #AmWriting is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. About Book Coach Sam Skal A fan of the scary, mysterious, and suspenseful, Samantha Skal is the Executive Director of ThrillerFest, the co-founder of Shadows & Secrets writing retreats, and an Author Accelerator-certified book coach who specializes in coaching mystery, thriller, horror, and suspense authors. Sam writes stories that keep her up at night, is a breast cancer survivor, and lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. Learn more at www.samanthaskal.com and www.shadowsandsecrets.com. Catch Up on Andrew’s Hot Seat Coaching Journey Transcript Hi, I’m Jennie Nash, and you’re listening to the #amwriting podcast, the place where we help writers of all kinds play big in your writing life, love the process, and stick with it long enough to finish what matters most. This is a hot seat coaching episode where we work through a real challenge in real time. And today we’re back talking with Andrew Perella, the hashtag am writing podcast producer who has stepped out from behind the mic to work on a novel. And where we left Andrew last time was you’d worked through the whole blueprint and you were tasked with completing. Inside outline. So before we get into our guest and, um, what we’re gonna do today, how was that, what was it like for you? Um, I mean, it was, it was, uh, really hard. Uh, but it was, it was, uh, it was really gratifying and it was, it was a lot of fun to do as well. Um. Because I think, um, part of, part of the assignment, you, you, you left for me, [00:01:00] Jenny, was to also beef out certain elements of certain, certain, the presence of certain characters, um, and certain and certain elements of the book. And so I was trying to do that as well as. As, as crafting the outline. Um, and so yeah, it was, it was a long, it was a struggle. It was a struggle, especially to get it to three, to keep it to three, to get it down to three pages. I know, and I’m very strict about that for reasons you are. Um, and. Did you feel a sense of accomplishment when you did it though? Like, oh, this is a book and I’m writing it, or how did that land? Yeah, I mean, like at first I just started writing. I started writing the scene bullets and the, and the points, and just started like, okay, what are all the, what are all the elements that that. I have in my head that I need to get down onto paper and it was like 6, 7, 8 pages. And I was like, okay, now I gotta get this down to three pages. Um, and, and, and I was like, okay, I can combine these two scenes or maybe I don’t need this. So I just ended up cutting a lot and cutting a lot [00:02:00] and getting it down. So like, yes, there was a sense of like. Completion. Um, that was certainly gratifying, uh, to get that. And, uh, I had a couple of late nights, um, getting that, getting that squared away, but yeah, it also feels, feels more real now. Um, and it’s like, yeah, there’s, there’s, there’s a, there’s a there here, which I’m pretty excited about. I’m excited about too, and I’m also excited because we’re doing something really cool today. Um, and we have with us Samantha Skull, who I will introduce in a hot second. But hi Samantha. Hi. Thanks so much for having me. I’m so excited to be here. Well, I’m excited too because, um. Sam, as I call her, um, I’ve known for quite some time. She’s one of the OG author, accelerator certified coaches. And Sam, you actually don’t know this, but I use you. Probably every day. Oh my God, I’m so flattered as an example of [00:03:00] what a great book coach should do, which is to focus and choose who you’re gonna serve and how you’re gonna serve them, and to really go deep into what you love and what you wanna do all day. Right? The read books all day and get paid for it thing like do what you love and you. Do that. You’ve done that just so powerfully and it’s so visible on your website, which we’ll link to in the show notes so folks can go see, but. Sam loves all the dark and suspenseful and scary mystery, twisty things, which always just cracked me up because I don’t, and that’s what’s so beautiful about book coaching and writing for that matters. Everybody has their own thing and, and that’s part of the work of writing Big is. What is your thing? You know? So the reason that I wanted Sam to come is she’s built a whole business on this type of work and with, um, another author, [00:04:00] accelerator coach, she runs a really cool, uh, writing retreat that is, um, it’s always in Salem. Right. It is in a haunted hotel, which, um, Carrie Savage, who is my co-founder in shadows and secrets, uh, loves being haunted. I do not choose to be haunted, so I choose the non haunted floor. So they have that retreat and they, um, have just started taking it virtual and just all kinds of tools and resources and things for people writing this kind of work. And in addition to that, I. I just am always impressed by your trajectory of having gone from. A volunteer at the Thriller Fest. Well, for a participant at the Thriller Fest conference to being a volunteer, to running the Pitch Fest piece of the thing. And now you’re, well then you were co-director, now you’re running the whole thing. You’re, you’re, yes, I am. You’re running the entire [00:05:00] Thriller Fest conference, which is how many writers every year. Oh, we have around a thousand and I have a team behind me. Just to be clear. This would not happen without a village, but uh, yes, we have around a thousand thriller authors who come to New York and we, uh, we talk about the dark stuff all week. It’s absolutely the, the best time. And it’s in two weeks. I can’t, I mean, when this comes out, it may have already passed, but yeah, can’t wait. No, this is coming out right before, so if anybody wants a quick getaway to New York, they should go. But also just the programming, watch the programming coming out of it and we’re so excited. Yeah, it’s really good. So, um, I just, I love the career you’ve built for yourself. It’s always just really inspiring to me. And, um, also a recent breast cancer survivor, so we’re, uh, always wanna shout out to that. Yes. Get your scans. That’s my PSA. Always love it. Same. Love it. Love it. So I wanted Sam to come look at Andrew’s inside [00:06:00] outline because I knew that the thing he has to work on is this, what I call in my not totally expertise in this area. I call the twisties of it. That there’s a, you know, it’s a mystery. It’s a murder, it’s a gothic, it’s horror. It’s all the things. And it, those twists have to land. And this is so much Sam’s expertise that the whole time I was talking to Andrew about it and guiding him and coaching him, I just kept thinking, we need Sam in here. So, so we got Sam in here. And so, um, Andrew completed his inside outline and Sam very graciously, um, agreed to look through it and to look through his whole blueprint. So before we get into what you saw and what you found, Sam. I just love to hear, I mean, this is so self-serving. I just like nothing more than reading a blueprint. I think it’s so fun. Um, just to like, [00:07:00] kind of peel back the, the cover and see what’s in there. Did, did you have fun with that? Oh my gosh. So much fun. Andrew. This story is, is so cool. And I love the historical elements and the rethinking of, you know, vampires are running around London and everyone’s just like, that’s fine. You know, and then how does, how does this all go down? And we have this very agency filled, moxie filled main character who’s just a delight and yeah, I loved it. I have, I have so many fun questions to ask you. So Andrew, how does that feel? I mean, it feels great and I, I was reading through, uh, through both of your notes, um, in the, in the, in the outline and like you’re asking all of these questions. Um. Some of them that I have not thought of before and like, so I’m, so I’m really excited to kind of dig into these and talk through them. But I’m, I’m, it’s really gratifying to hear that this, that this idea is, is, is, is an interesting one. Yeah. I loved it. I a hundred [00:08:00] percent read this book. I’d, I’d see it and be like, yes, I want, I want to be in that world. Cool. Well that’s why you’re here. Because I would be like, no, too scary. Too scary for me. So, um, I’m gonna let. Sam sort of take it away and, uh, we could talk for days, I’m sure about this, but one of the, the things I love about book coaches who are well trained is they’ll hone in on the most important, the most important things. So. What do you think, Sam? What’s the most important thing Andrew should be thinking about in his next iteration of this outline? Yeah, so my favorite thing to talk about outta the gate with Mr. Thriller and suspense and gothic horror, depending on how dark you wanna make this, um, is who is the person who’s really behind all these murders and why are they committing them? Right? I like to think of MTS mystery full or suspense as

    49 min

  2. APR 24

    Hot Seat Coaching: Exploring Protagonist Depth with Andrew Parella

    Andrew Lands on a Single POV—and Must Choose an Ending Jennie Nash coaches podcast producer Andrew Parella through the third “hot seat” session of his Blueprint revision, where he gains clarity that his protagonist should be the sole point-of-view character, with other perspectives delivered through discovered diaries, letters, and papers from her mother Mina and her uncle Van Helsing. After completing a stronger Inside Outline, Andrew understands that each scene’s “point” must be expressed through his protagonist’s meaning-making, which makes the story feel more alive but reveals key issues: an ending that doesn’t yet pay off and several underused setups. Jennie urges Andrew to leverage Mina’s influence earlier, make vampires more present in the world, and more. They focus on raising stakes, making the “all is lost” moment harder, and forcing a decisive, morally resonant ending beyond simply solving the murders. Visit Andrew’s website: https://www.andrewparrella.com #AmWriting is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Need to play catch-up? Check out Andrew’s first hot seat coaching session with Jennie: Check out Andrew’s second hot seat coaching session with Jennie: Transcript Jennie: [00:00:00] Hi, I’m Jenny Nash and you’re listening to the hashtag am Writing podcast. The place where we help writers of all kinds play big in your writing life, love the process, and stick with it long enough to finish what matters most. This is a hot seat coaching episode where we work through a real writing challenge in real time. Jennie: Today I am joined again by Andrew Perella, who is the podcast producer stepping out from Behind the Mic, and this is the third time we’ve been talking about his blueprint revision. So if you haven’t heard episodes. One and two focused on this. You should definitely go catch up on them. I’ll link to those in the show notes and where we left Andrew, I feel like this is a, um, a soap opera or something. Jennie: Um. You were going to go off and do some exploration in order to decide on your point of view, uh, narrator, [00:01:00] and you were debating lots, lots of different ideas. So let’s just start by asking how that went. Andrew: Uh, it went well. I mean, it was, uh, it was really productive too. Go through the exercise that you played, that you, uh, that you, uh, put to me. Andrew: So the, uh, you had left it to. So to help me identify which POVs were gonna be most important to take the three characters that I had been identifying and kind of draw out an, an outline for each of them. I didn’t do a full inside out, inside outline for, for each character. I just kinda did. Sure, sure. A bunch of bullets. Andrew: Here’s the, here’s the story through this person’s, uh, through this person’s perspective, through this person’s perspective. And as I did that it became very clear that two of the characters, while very important to the story, I think will ultimately Billy Ancillary and the primary. Protagonist Abriana, I think [00:02:00] is going to be, uh, the sole POV for the book. Andrew: Um, so that was kind of exciting to. Get some clarity on that. And now that I know that a lot of other things come in, come into focus a little bit, it’s like, okay, I can spend a little bit less time, you know, developing this scene. That’s something we could do with a letter or a diary entry that she reads or some, or something to that effect. Andrew: And so, as I was listening back to our last session, I was thinking about, you had talked about other devices, um, that we can use to incorporate. Other POVs. Um, and so I think there can be diaries and letters and papers from, um, from the other, from the other characters. A Brianna’s mother, Mina, and uh, and uh, uh, van Helsing, her uncle, her, um. Andrew: And I think that she can discover these papers, these letters, these diaries over the course, uh, [00:03:00] of the story to learn more information, to help her clear certain hurdles, um, that will, uh, that will present themselves to her. Um, Jennie: so, um, I was really curious because. In my mind, I thought one of the people you were considering as the narrator of the story was a Adrianna’s brother. Jennie: And so when I went to review your notes, you know, you’d sketched out these, uh, mini, mini outlines for what, what the scenes or the, you know, story would look like from that. And, and it wasn’t the brother, so that was interesting to me. It was like, okay, so you really were considering a lot of different. Jennie: Characters to tell the story. And the other thing that struck me was, well, I could immediately tell which one had the most heat. That’s the best way I can describe it. Right? Yeah. It’s like there’s an energy or a a, a vibrancy [00:04:00] or the other ones were good, but there was a flatness to them. Did Is that what you felt? Andrew: Yeah, I felt like. There wasn’t enough there it felt like. It felt like there were other stories that I could create that I could invent for these characters, but they were less. Were less relevant to my protagonist. Jennie: Yeah. Yeah. Andrew: And so I felt like that helped me kinda, kinda focus in on her a little bit. Jennie: The other thing that struck me was, um, Mina, who’s a Brianna’s mom. Jennie: Um, hers was really, it felt really whole to me. It, it was like, oh, she’s got a whole story, a whole backstory. Well, it would be a backstory now, um, but. You know, she felt like a really 3D character with Okay. A a lot of, um, like I liked her and I was interested in her and I could [00:05:00] see a lot of places where her story would intersect with Aub Brianna’s that you could use. Jennie: So it felt to me like that was a really useful exercise for you to do. Is that where you landed? Andrew: Absolutely. Yeah, no, it really helped me explore who these characters are, because these characters are gonna be, as I say, integral to the protagonist, integral to the story and to the novel, but they’re just not going to be carrying the weight of, of, of primary POV. Andrew: And so I think it, but it was really helpful to flesh those out, flesh those characters out a little bit more. And I did have a lot of fun. Building out Mina’s timeline, Mina’s outline as it related to the, to the primary events of the novel. So that, so that was, that was a lot of fun. And I’m, I, I think, I think the outlines might have betrayed the fact that I’m still trying to figure out how Van Helsing, what Van Sing’s relation. Andrew: Is to the events of the story. Jennie: Yeah, maybe that, because that one [00:06:00] definitely felt the, the most flat of all of them. Which is interesting because he’s a, an existing character and an existing story in a way. So he’s kind of already been fleshed out a bit. But, um, so it sounded when you reported. The outcome to me, it sounded like you were quite sure that there was no more debate. Jennie: You really felt like this is it, is that true? Are Andrew: you, I am sure there is no more debate this week, uh, about that. Jennie: I was gonna say Andrew: that question. Jennie: Um, okay. So what you did next was, the next bit of homework was. If you can land on that to flesh out the whole inside outline, which you did. Um, and I was really struck Andrew by how different this was from your first iteration were. Jennie: Do you feel that? Andrew: Yes, yes. Um, and I think part of that is I, I [00:07:00] had an incomplete understanding of. Of the inside outline when I was first rolling through it, and I, I was, I was struggling a little bit, but I also have a much better idea of what the story is now than I did a couple weeks ago when I did, when I, when I, when I wrote that initial, uh, inside outline. Andrew: So Jennie: what did you not understand about it? I’m curious. Andrew: I think, I think some of, like some of the notes you and KJ gave me after that first one kind of, uh, were about the point. So there’s the, there’s the, the, the, the scene or the plot and what is the point of this scene or plot. And I, I had difficulty, I think, expressing what the, what the importance of these, of these plot moments were. Andrew: Um, and I think it was a note that KJ gave me. It’s like, try, try writing the point of the plot. Through the eyes of your protagonist, how does this affect me as the protagonist? How, how [00:08:00] does this affect me? And so I was looking at kind of like, so I think I had a, a more full outline in that regard because I did try and. Andrew: Internalized for Abriana what these po plot points meant for her and how they would change or affect the decision she made next. Jennie: Yeah, I’m glad you mentioned that. Um, because what a lot of people get wrong is they think the point is another chance to explain why they’re writing that scene, why they, the author, um, are writing that scene and it the point. Jennie: Of it is what meaning is this character making of what they’re experiencing in the plot. So, um, you’re having understood that and understood your story. When I say it was so different, the, I mean, this is the progression. The, the first iteration was, okay, this is an interesting plot. These are interesting characters, but they’re not. Jennie: They’re not, there’s no [00:09:00] there, there in a way. Right. And this one I read and I, I was like, oh, there’s, you know, this is good. You’re starting to, to really weave, um, uh, a tail. And, um, it feels weighty. And I was really excited. It felt. Alive to me. Is that, did you have that sense? Andrew: I, I’m really glad to hear you say that. Andrew: ‘cause Yeah, it’s feeling much more alive to me as well. And seeing, and seeing all of these points, seeing, seeing this outline put together, it’s like, oh, this isn’t, this isn’t a gimmick anymore. This isn’t

    53 min

  3. APR 17

    Write Big 16: How to Sound Like Yourself in a Noisy World

    In this Write Big session, Jennie explores one of the most essential—and elusive—elements of writing: voice. In a world full of sameness (and increasingly, AI-generated language), what makes writing stand out is simple but not easy: sounding like yourself. This episode is sparked by a moment on an evening walk, when the call of an owl cut through noise-canceling headphones—clear, distinct, impossible to ignore. A reminder that true voice doesn’t blend in. It breaks through. If you want your writing to connect, resonate, and rise above the noise, this episode is a reminder: your voice is the thing that makes it possible. #AmWriting is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Transcript Hi, I’m Jennie Nash and you’re listening to the hashtag am Writing podcast, the place where we help writers of all kinds play big in your writing life, love the process, and stick with it long enough to finish what matters most. This is a right big session where I’m bringing you short episodes about the mindset shifts that help you stop playing small and write like it matters. Today I am talking about the power of tapping into your own voice. A lot of these sessions end up being about voice. The concept of voice in writing is so elusive, but I think it’s just so central to what we’re trying to do When we write big, we’re trying to sound like ourselves and we’re trying to cut through the noise of sameness, of sounding like everybody else, or lately of sounding like ai, which is of course, based on everybody else. It’s critically important to hear your voice and to work on [00:01:00] raising your voice and to understanding how powerful that can be. Something happened to me the other day that I wanna share with you because it was such a perfect description of why voice matters and what voice really means. So almost every afternoon I go on a walk in my neighborhood. And I especially love to go at dusk as the sun is setting and in the winter the lights really pink and in the summer it lingers for such a long time and reflects off of the mountains that I can see as I walk. I live in Santa Barbara, California, so we have these coastal mountains and I live quite close to those. And then the beach is a couple miles on the other side. So we’re in this little strip of land and there’s a rich diversity of plants and trees that grow in this space, especially along the creek beds. And I live right near a creek bed, so there are these really tall sycamore trees and also really tall eucalyptus and pine trees. In some cases, even some redwood trees. And then there’s all [00:02:00] kinds of scrubby chaparral like you get in Mediterranean climates. And the reason I like to walk at dusk is that the birds and animals are super active. So in the sky you’re gonna see hawks flying to their perches and rabbits running around to get away from them, and just all kinds of life and activity. But my favorite thing of all is listening for the owls. These are great horned owls. They have that very classic owl hooting sound that goes in a series like who, who, who. And what’s really cool is that the owls talk to each other. You can hear one call out and then a few seconds later, oftentimes from quite far away, another call out, but other times they’re really close. This one time I was walking and I heard the hoot, and then I heard immediately the other hoot. It’s a little bit like tracking thunder, like you can hear how close they are. I looked up and the two owls were sitting together in the top of this big tree. And the thing about the [00:03:00] owls also is that at that time of night, they swoop from high up on the trees into another tree. Sometimes they go into the middle of the tree to kind of hide or, uh, the opposite. They go from the middle of a tree, like a big spreading oak tree up to the top of a bigger tree so they can have their perch and check it all out. I just love it so much trying to find the owls and listening for the owls. You don’t hear them every night on every walk. It’s just such a joy when you do hear them. So I’m always listening for them. But what happened on the day that I wanna tell you about is they got some new noise canceling headphones. There are new in-ear noise canceling headphone from beats designed for working out so that they don’t fall out of your ears. And I got them because I actually lost one of my Apple ones on a walk in the rain. I had a hood on and it fell out. I searched and searched in the rain. I did actually find it and rescue it, but it stressed me out. So I got the kind that are meant to be more secure in your ear. And [00:04:00] so I’m wearing these new headphones and they’re really noise counseling. I didn’t realize quite how much I like to listen to podcasts when I walk. I also like to talk to friends or family, so I’m often on the phone, but also listening to everything that’s going on around me. It’s both things are going on. So I have these new headphones and I didn’t realize that I couldn’t actually hear anything. They are so good that all I could hear was this podcast that I was listening to. I couldn’t hear footsteps if a friend or neighbor walked up behind me and I couldn’t hear the creek running. I couldn’t hear planes flying overhead. I couldn’t hear anything. And so I’m walking along listening to the podcast, just focusing on that. And of course, the beauty of the light and the trees and everything else. But then I heard the owl cutting through this podcast and this incredible noise cancellation technology. It was like the owl’s voice was so distinctive and [00:05:00] on such a distinctive frequency, and it just cut through everything. And I stopped in my tracks and I took the headphones out and I just stood there and listened to it for like three minutes, maybe just. Doing, its hooting. And then there was a owl quite far in the distance hooting back, and I was just marveling that their voice, this particular way that they express themselves in the world, could cut through this incredible technology design to stop all noise. The owl’s voice is that particular, and that distinctive and just that powerful. And maybe I wanted to hear it that much. And while I was standing there, I thought. This is it. This is what writers want. Writers wanna speak in such a way that is so precise and clear and them that their ideal reader cannot help but stop and listen. I thought if every writer could be like these [00:06:00] owls cutting through the noise to their ideal reader, what an incredible thing that would be for the writers and for the readers. The owl is not trying to sound like a hawk and it’s not trying to sound like a hummingbird. We have a lot of hummingbirds near us too, and they have this very distinctive sort of buzzing sound that they make when they fly. And an owl is not trying to sound like that. They’re just sounding like their own selves and they’re owning that way that they sound. And in that moment I just felt it and I felt how powerful it was and I thought it was so awesome and, and I just wanted to share that with you. I thought it might be inspiring. I’m obviously going to have to choose between listening to podcasts and listening for the owls. And maybe that’s not such a bad thing either. Until next time, stop playing small and write like it matters. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

    8 min
  4. The Decision to Keep Writing After Grief, Illness, or Heartbreak

    APR 10

    The Decision to Keep Writing After Grief, Illness, or Heartbreak

    In this first installment of Margin Notes—a new series on the big decisions writers face—we explore a question many writers quietly carry: When life falls apart, do you keep writing… or step away? Jennie Nash is joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Diana Hill, author of Wise Effort, for a conversation about grief, illness, recovery and the psychology of returning to your work. Dr. Hill will help us explore the emotional and cognitive side of a creative life. Together, we discuss: * Why “little by little becomes a lot” matters in recovery * How grief, illness, addiction, or heartbreak reshape your creative capacity * The two common paths writers take: stepping away vs. writing to survive * What negativity bias is—and why it gets louder during hard seasons * When writing supports healing—and when it becomes avoidance At the heart of this conversation is a simple idea: You don’t have to return to writing all at once.Sometimes, getting to the “mailbox and back” is enough. Whether you’re navigating loss or a major life transition, this episode offers a compassionate way back to the page—on your own terms. Books Mentioned * Wise Effort by Dr. Diana Hill * Little by Little Becomes a Lot by Eric Zimmer #AmWriting is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Transcript (00:00:03): Hi, (00:00:04): I’m Jenny Nash, (00:00:05): and you’re listening to the Hashtag AmWriting Podcast, (00:00:08): the place where we help writers of all kinds play big in your writing life, (00:00:12): love the process, (00:00:13): and stick with it long enough to finish what matters most. (00:00:17): This is Margin Notes, (00:00:19): a new part of the podcast where we’re talking about the big decisions writers face (00:00:23): in their work on creative lives. (00:00:25): I’m here today to talk about (00:00:28): this idea of recovery from illness or a breakup or a major life transition and how (00:00:34): you get back to your work. (00:00:36): And I have with me the most of special guests, (00:00:40): uh, (00:00:40): Dr. (00:00:40): Diana Hill, (00:00:41): who is my friend and my client and my colleague. (00:00:45): She’s a clinical psychologist. (00:00:47): Who’s the author of wise effort, how to focus your genius energy on what matters most. (00:00:52): And she’s going to help us dig into this. (00:00:55): Welcome Diana. Diana (00:00:57): I am so glad to be here. Diana (00:00:58): And another form of recovery, recovery from addiction is another one. Diana (00:01:02): Like if people are prioritizing their health and recovery in that way, Diana (00:01:07): how do you write through that? Diana (00:01:09): So I’m super excited to talk with you because I think I’ve been through every Diana (00:01:11): single one of those recoveries in some form or another. (00:01:15): Well, yeah. (00:01:16): And we don’t have to get into it, but you have recently been through some big grief. (00:01:21): You’ve been through all these things in your life. (00:01:23): So how do you counsel somebody who’s trying to get over something or get through (00:01:28): something and also doesn’t want to abandon their writing? Diana (00:01:33): Well, there’s a great book that’s coming out. Diana (00:01:36): We have to mention a book, support our fellow writers by Eric Zimmer. Diana (00:01:40): And I always pick books by their titles in some form or another. Diana (00:01:44): And so there’s a great, how about this? Diana (00:01:46): There’s a great book title coming out, which is Little by Little. Diana (00:01:49): becomes a lot. Diana (00:01:51): And I think that’s something to remember in recovery. Diana (00:01:54): I remember after I had a C-section, Diana (00:01:57): I had two C-sections with my kids and the little by little was, Diana (00:02:01): you know, Diana (00:02:01): first you make it up to the mailbox and back, Diana (00:02:04): right? Diana (00:02:05): You’re trying to get back to that three mile walk that you used to do, Diana (00:02:08): but up to the mailbox and back was pretty darn amazing after you had a C-section to Diana (00:02:12): get to that milestone. Diana (00:02:13): And when you’re in recovery from something, you need to shift that Diana (00:02:19): the expectation to what is a lot. Diana (00:02:21): It’s what is a lot in the context of what you are going through. Diana (00:02:24): When you’ve had a C-section, a walk to the mailbox is a lot. Diana (00:02:27): When you are in recovery from losing a family member, Diana (00:02:31): writing 10 minutes in the morning is a lot. Diana (00:02:34): And being able to shift that expectation would be the first thing and remembering Diana (00:02:37): that little by little becomes a lot. Diana (00:02:40): That’s how we grow it. Diana (00:02:41): That’s one of the most foundational aspects of habit formation and psychology, Diana (00:02:45): And, uh, really is how I do most everything I do little by little. Diana (00:02:50): And then sometimes when I have a boost of energy, I do a lot. (00:02:54): And is that, do you think that that’s true all the time? (00:02:58): Like, (00:02:58): does it become more true when something intends happens in your life or is it (00:03:03): actually true all the time, (00:03:04): but we don’t quite see it so clearly? (00:03:07): Yeah. Diana (00:03:07): Well, Diana (00:03:08): I think it’s all the time, Diana (00:03:09): but more so when you’re in recovery, Diana (00:03:12): because when you’re in recovery from something, Diana (00:03:16): you may get exhausted more easily. Diana (00:03:19): You also may have some shifts in the way that you see the world and the way you see Diana (00:03:25): yourself that, Diana (00:03:27): um, Diana (00:03:28): That negativity bias may be extra strong or your threat system may be on extra Diana (00:03:34): alert so that you’re a little bit more hypervigilant depending on what kind of Diana (00:03:38): thing you’re recovering from. Diana (00:03:39): And so in that sense, Diana (00:03:40): we do need to dial up the gentleness factor that, Diana (00:03:44): you know, Diana (00:03:44): other times in your life, Diana (00:03:45): you maybe just to brush off the intensity of something. Diana (00:03:49): But when you’re in recovery, Diana (00:03:50): yeah, Diana (00:03:50): you need to be extra focused on little by little becoming a lot. (00:03:54): Can you explain what you mean by negativity bias, just so our listeners understand that? Diana (00:04:00): The negativity bias is just how our brains evolved. Diana (00:04:03): We evolved brains to keep us safe, not always to live our best lives. Diana (00:04:09): And so that means that you are the ancestor of people who were a little bit anxious. Diana (00:04:16): And when they looked out on the savannah and they saw some kind of obscure object Diana (00:04:20): out there, Diana (00:04:21): they had a tendency to think that that object was dangerous or negative in some Diana (00:04:25): way. Diana (00:04:25): Yeah. Diana (00:04:26): And so they went back into the cave and that’s how you came about because you Diana (00:04:30): We’re born from that, Diana (00:04:31): but we’ve inherited these negativity biases and they get extra strong when we’re Diana (00:04:36): under threat. Diana (00:04:37): It doesn’t mean that we can’t override them. Diana (00:04:40): It’s more that we learn how to notice them and in some ways allow them to be there Diana (00:04:45): while you still move forward towards what your values are, Diana (00:04:48): what your goals are, Diana (00:04:49): what’s important to you, Diana (00:04:50): even with that little bit of a chatter, Diana (00:04:52): that little what if mind in the background. (00:04:55): So I feel like when a writer is under the thread of something intense, (00:05:01): they tend to either take one of two paths in the recovery phase. (00:05:07): One path would be, I don’t have the time, energy, bandwidth. (00:05:13): to add this in, I’m going to push this way off. (00:05:17): And the other is the opposite. (00:05:20): And it’s this is going to keep me alive. (00:05:22): And I, I have to do it. (00:05:24): I have to keep my project going, keep my writing going, keep my voice up. (00:05:31): Can you help make sense of those that kind of binary response that I sometimes see? Diana (00:05:38): Well, Diana (00:05:38): like any kind of story, Diana (00:05:40): both of them are stories or frames or interpretations of your experience. Diana (00:05:45): There’s usually some kind of nugget of truth in it. Diana (00:05:47): And then sort of like that yin-yang sign, there’s also a nugget of not truth in it. Diana (00:05:52): So I don’t have enough time is a classic one. Diana (00:05:54): I mean, Diana (00:05:54): that’s again, Diana (00:05:55): whether you’re in recovery or not, Diana (00:05:56): that’s a classic writer’s statement of I don’t have enough time. Diana (00:05:59): And so we put it off. Diana (00:06:01): You know, we say things like in six months when I have things more in order, I’ll get this done. Diana (00:06:07): Or I will, would I feel better? Diana (00:06:10): I’ll start working on it. Diana (00:06:11): But the nature of our experience is that we really never have enough time. Diana (00:06:16): It’s more about prioritization of our time. Diana (00:06:19): And we miss that reality that when we engage in things that are more meaningful to Diana (00:06:25): us, Diana (00:06:25): we feel like we have more time. Diana (00:06:26): So there’s some research by Cassie Holmes out of UCLA that showed that folks that Diana (00:06:32): devoted their time towards others or engaged in meaningful projects actually had Diana (00:06:36): more what’s called time affluence. Diana (00:06:38): They feel like they had more time. Diana (00:06:40): So if you have that feeling, Dia

    14 min
  5. You’re Not Stuck—You’re Holding Back

    APR 3

    You’re Not Stuck—You’re Holding Back

    This episode is connected to: * Hot Seat Coaching #1 * Hot Seat Coaching #2 When you find yourself spiraling over a structural choice—looping between two different plot points or debating a table of contents—it’s easy to treat it as a technical puzzle to be solved with logic. But as book coach Jennie Nash explores in this episode, the hardest writing decisions usually aren’t about craft; they are about courage. Inspired by a profound "hot seat" moment with writer Andrew Parella, Jennie discusses how the simple question "Why is this so hard for me?" can reveal where you are "playing small." Whether you're deciding the scope of a nonfiction argument or the emotional vulnerability of a memoir, being stuck often means you are hovering between a safe version of your book and the big, ambitious version that actually wants to be written. This session is a call to align your head with your heart and step into the bigger power your project is asking of you. #AmWriting is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Transcript Jennie: [00:00:00] This is a right big episode where I bring you short conversations about the mindset shifts that shape the work. Today I am talking about something that Andrew said in our hot seat coaching session the other day. That’s just really captured my attention. If you listen to that episode, which I’ll link to in the show notes, you’ll be able to hear him say this, but I wanted to take some time to talk about it on a right big session because the question was just so profound. What he asked himself was just simply, why is this so hard? So what was happening was we were talking through a writing decision he was struggling with. It’s one of those decisions where as a coach you can feel the writer circling around it, going back and forth, trying one thing, then another just sort of spiraling and not sure about how to move forward. And I. Was prepared to say the thing that I always say as a book coach, which [00:01:00] is, okay, let’s go through all the options. Let’s make a pro con list of how to proceed with this, of what your different choices are, and we can step back and look at the possible directions. That’s the analytic way that I was thinking to approach this decision. But Andrew had actually already solved the problem, and he had solved it not by going through all the options or using his mind. He had solved it by asking, why is this so hard for me? Which is a question of the heart. So what he did was he took it out of the intellectual sphere and he took it into this sphere. Of feeling I was there ready to start diagramming possibilities and using our head to figure this out. And he was the one who was like, well, wait a minute. Let me look at why this is hard. And what he realized was that the reason it was hard was because the decision was poking up against why this book so much to [00:02:00] him. What he actually said was he realized he was playing small. He was circling around a decision ‘cause he wanted to do the thing that would make the book big, but he felt like he should do the thing that would keep the book small. He was pinging back and forth. Between his desire and it was showing up as a structural decision in the book about how he would approach. In this case, it was the reality of vampires in his story. And one way would be, I can handle this. I’m capable of this. I can wrap up my hands around this. And the other way was, oh no, that’s gonna be a big scary book that I’d be having to. Handle and tackle, and I’m not sure that I could do that. So by not making this decision, he was holding himself back. He was hedging his bets. He was not fully committing to the version of the book that he really wanted to write. And as long as he was stuck in that place, every single decision was going to feel wrong. He was never gonna [00:03:00] land on one that was like, yes, this is it. And this moment stayed with me. So hard because I think a lot of writing decisions that feel technical or structural are actually something else. They’re about whether we’re willing to write the book that wants to be written. So imagine for example, that you’re writing a nonfiction book and it’s about burnout at work, and you keep getting stuck on how to frame it. Is the book a step by step guide on managing stress? Or is it about something bigger about, say how the culture of work itself is totally unsustainable. The first version is contained, it’s small, and the other version is making a much bigger claim, and it’s asking that writer to step up into a much bigger kind of power. So if you’re circling that structural decision endlessly, you might think that it’s different choices about. What the chapters are gonna look like are the table of [00:04:00] contents. But the real question is, am I willing to say the bigger thing, am I willing to go out there and say this bigger thing? Or imagine this for memoir. Maybe you’re writing a book about moving to a new city and the first year of showing up in a new place and building community, but there’s something you keep avoiding, which is that there was a breakup that happened before you made this move and that precipitated your. Coming here and you keep asking yourself, does this even belong in the book? Will it derail the narrative? Is it taking it in a different direction? Should I have a prologue? Should I start it at chapter one with that breakup? Should I just assume that people are gonna know, should I not put in it at all? But the real reason that decision probably feels hard is that that decision changes what the book is about. Uh, it stops being a story about a new city and a new adventure, and it becomes a story about rebuilding [00:05:00] a life. So it becomes a bigger story. And in order to write big, you have to embrace that bigness of it. So what Andrew’s question does, why is this so hard is shift. The focus inward to what you’re hesitating about, to what version of the book you might be avoiding to what version of your own self as a writer you might be avoiding because every writer has a story about who they are and how they’re showing up. There’s the safer version of that story, and there’s the bigger version. There’s one that might be more honest or more ambitious or more emotionally exposed, and when we try to write the smaller version of that story, whatever it is, the whole project will start to wobble because we’re not in alignment with our goal. So maybe your scenes don’t quite land, or the structure of the book feels wrong, or every decision feels impossible. And it’s not [00:06:00] because you don’t know enough about your story or your material or craft, or your skills need sharpening. It’s because you and what you’re doing aren’t aligned yet. So the next time you find yourself circling some decision about your work. Whether it’s rewriting the same paragraph over and over, or asking everyone you know what they think, or debating some decision. It’s definitely worth pausing and asking this question, which is not what is the right choice here, but why is this decision so hard for me? Odds are good that your project is asking you to step into a bigger power than you’re comfortable with, and you’re still debating whether you’re actually willing to do that. You’re debating the commitment of the whole thing. It’s a really brilliant move to make. And I would urge you to listen to Andrew talk about asking that question on our coaching call because it was so profound to hear him talk about it, and it was such a good [00:07:00] reminder for me that I have to remember to help the writer get out of their head and into their heart. Thanks for listening. Now let’s get back to work and finish what matters most. Outro: The hashtag am Writing podcast is produced by Andrew Parella. Our intro music Aply titled Unemployed Monday, was written and played by Max Cohen. Andrew and Max were paid for their time and their creative output because everyone deserves to be paid for their [00:08:00] work. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

    8 min
  6. Live with Jennie Nash

    MAR 23

    Live with Jennie Nash

    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

    38 min

  7. MAR 20

    10 Years of #amwriting: Looking Back and Moving Forward

    After ten years of the #amwriting podcast, KJ, Jess, and Sarina are marking a milestone—and a transition. In this episode, the longtime hosts reflect on what the writing world looked like when the show began and share their best advice for writers trying to do meaningful work. They also pass the microphone to Jennie, who will carry the podcast into its next chapter. Moving forward, Jennie will keep the show focused on helping writers do their best work and make smart decisions about their writing lives. Expect familiar features and new conversations, including Write Big solo episodes, Book Lab breakdowns of listener submissions, coaching sessions with writers across genres, and Margin Notes exploring the thinking behind creative choices. The mission remains the same: helping writers play big in their writing life, love the process, and stick with it long enough to finish what matters most. #AmWriting is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Transcript Jennie: [00:00:00] Hi, I’m Jennie Nash and you’re listening to the hashtag am Writing podcast. The place where we help writers of all kinds play big in your writing life, love the process, and stick with it long enough to finish what matters most. KJ: Hey everyone. I’m kj and you are listening to the hashtag am Writing podcast, the place where we help writers of all kinds play big in your writing life, love the process, and stick with it long enough to finish what matters most. So today is a big day. We’re we’re Jess: big day. KJ: Yeah. We’re celebrating the 10th year of the hashtag am writing podcast, which I have to say is officially the longest I’ve been able to sustain any job-like thing. Um, and we’re announcing that we’re going in a new direction. So this is really cool. After a decade of talking to y’all, um, Jess and I and then [00:01:00] Sarina, who is at minus a decade. I don’t wanna, um, have decided to step back and hand over the reins to Jennie. Jess: Yeah Jennie: It is, it is such a big milestone and such a big deal. And before we. Actually say goodbye to the three of you. I mean, it’s not forever. You’re coming back as guests, all of you, all the time, hopefully. KJ: Oh, heck yes. Absolutely. You, you, you and I have already planned all the things, so don’t get too excited and, and weepy here folks, but things are just, things are gonna be. New and fresh and more interesting and, uh, more craft filled and more inspirational. When I need inspiration to write, I look for one of our episodes. That’s Jennie. So I think this is gonna be, this is gonna be great. Jennie: I think it’s gonna be great too. But before we actually say goodbye, I mean, 10. Is a long time and I thought it would be fun to ask you all what it was like 10 [00:02:00] years ago when you started, and Sarina 10 minus whatever the time is, but what was the writing landscape like as a whole maybe for you, and then all this wisdom, all these years that you’ve shared. What’s, what’s the thing that sticks in your head the most is what you would want to leave with, with the listeners, what is the your best piece of writing advice from all of this time? So. Jess, why don’t you start? You’re the og. Jess: Well, I, I definitely wanted to start. For those people who have not been around since the very beginning, you have to understand that it’s really horrifying when people say they go back and like start from the beginning because, um, and we’ll be posting pictures in the show notes. I have a ton of pictures throughout the years, but we originally, um, we, we would go into this little, I had a tiny, tiny house and we would go into the eve space off of my daughter’s room. And it was raw insulation with a light bulb, and we sat on the floor and it was [00:03:00] like. Maybe at the tallest point, maybe four feet high, so you had to kind of crawl in. And I have a picture of us, um, podcasting from inside there. And it was, and it was very hot in the summer. It would get very, very hot. My house did not have air conditioning and um. But it was delightful and it was this thing that we had talked about doing for such a long time, and I was so proud of us. And mainly it was kj. KJ was the one who said, we’re not gonna talk about this anymore, we’re just gonna do it. So she got us into gear and just brought her stuff over to my house in her basket and said, let’s go. Let’s do it. And we bought microphones and everything and it was. It was a big new adventure. And if you had said, then, how long do you think this is gonna last? I don’t know that I would’ve said 10 years. But there’s, you know, then Sarina came in and, and Sarina has, has been a part of this as a guest since the very beginning too. And a couple of things that I wanted to share were that one time Sarina and KJ and I, uh, were doing a [00:04:00] double, a double header episode and I forgot to hit record for both of them. And so. We did this incredibly fun, very long episode, broken into two pieces that, um, it went off into the ether and. I did learn from that. And then at the same time, by the time we were sort of on our game enough to be able to really interview people, we went up to Maine to interview Richard Russo and we went to record at his daughter’s wonderful bookstore in Portland, Maine. And um, I had three modes of recording. I had, um. Two microphones and I had a handheld digital thing that I had on the table between us and, um, mode one failed and mode two failed. And so the only thing we had was, you know, our little digital handheld on the table in between us. So. There’s a lot of stuff like that. There was the moment I got to text KJ and tell her that we were getting David [00:05:00] Sedaris, there was the day she emailed me to tell me that we were getting Anna Quinlan. You know, and I just so many cool things that, um. It makes me so happy that we’ve produced something good out of all of that. And one last thing. The, the, the thing that I think I’ve learned the most is there is no one right way to do this. That every single time I hear about, like whether it’s the, you have to write, writer write every day, you have to write every day, or you have to write in a certain way, or you have to write in a certain place, or you have to write with the door closed, or you have to write with the door open, all of those things. Um, none of those are rules. None of them are rules. They’re things that people do and I’m really glad that I’ve had the opportunity to talk to a lot of people about all the different ways they do it. Jennie: That’s amazing. Um, kj, do you remember this, uh, light bulb and no insulation time? KJ: Oh yeah. I don’t remember the time you didn’t record particularly just ‘cause it happened more than once. And [00:06:00] the other thing I would throw in is that the more famous, the guest, the. Less interesting. They were, it was almost KJ: always true. Jess: It wasn them. It was, yeah. I think we got all jacked up about like, I don’t know. It just, Jess: I don’t know. Wasn David Sari’s advice to young writers was the worst. KJ: Yeah. It advice really was Jess: anyone has ever given, it KJ: was, Jess: yeah, a writer. He said, don’t submit your work. Don’t ask. Don’t try to get you, wait for people to read it. Wait for people to ask you if they can read it. KJ: Yeah, Jess: that’s which this, this is, KJ: this worked for him. He is an NF one and it will not work for you. Jess: Right. Yeah, I think that KJ: my favorite, I’m just gonna, I’m just gonna lay it out there. I’m not even gonna put any caveats on that. That won’t work. Jess It won’t work. KJ: No. I think it’s always been the most fun when we get in deep into the craft and anytime someone is too practiced with their answers or it’s the same answer they’ve given a million times. You’re [00:07:00] right. It was cold and it was, um, it just wasn’t good. Sarina: Yeah. So the more fun people were always the people who were really in it with us. KJ: Yeah. Yeah. Jennie: So, Sarina, do you know when you came in, do you know what the, the n minus number is? Sarina: No, because I was a guest star even before we got out of the, the, um, kgs closet. It’s true. It’s true. KJ: One of those not recorded episodes was recorded in the eve space. That’s true. We had, we roped during fairly early. Jennie: Yeah. In that 10 years, you’ve probably written more. More than, well, how many books have you written in that time? Sarina, I mean, Sarina: um, 50. At 50 50 ish. Jennie: That’s crazy. That’s crazy. So what do you know now that you didn’t know then? Sarina: Oh, so much, so much that, like giving advice, you know, I, I [00:08:00] now feel like less qualified to give advice than I did then, you know how that goes. Like, the job gets harder, not easier. I have a, a good working vocabulary for why, but it doesn’t make me feel like anybody’s, you know, special savior. Jennie: Yeah. Yeah. What do you remember about starting in and the, the, um, all these episodes? What sticks in your mind as Sarina: you know? Um, I loved the opportunity to talk to people who I think are fantastic. I also learned that I am not a fantastic interviewer and that, and that, um. That isn’t a skill of mine that I, it’s, there’s so many things, like I’m so busy, I write so many books. I can’t learn to be the interviewer that you deserve. So I only. Did interviews selectively and sometimes they were just so fun. Like, [00:09:00] um, the, the person who broke broke the mold about the interview being interesting, the more famous they are was Emily Henry. ‘cause she was Oh yeah. She was fun to talk to. She was just right there with us and, and ready to have a good time and, and so wise and also so, so nice. And that, that’s really great when you can talk to somebody who’

    22 min

  8. MAR 6

    "I Had the Full Heart of the Question In My Hand."

    It’s very rare for me to demand that the readers of my #AmReading substack pre-order something. And the bar to be my “Just One Book” is high. But here we go: The book is The Fountain—debut speculative fiction from Casey Scieszka—and you’ll want to read it, but even more, you’ll want to hear us talk about what it took to pull this big, beautiful novel from her Tuck-Everlasting-loving soul. And here’s the question her agent asked her that is now stuck on a post-it on my computer and may be my next tattoo: How can you reveal these things in action? Casey is reading: Open Throat by Henry Hoke (“It’s funny and deeply tender and unlike anything I’ve ever read.” Follow Casey on Instagram and Substack: Spruceton Inn. Transcript Below! EPISODE TRANSCRIPT KJ Dell’Antonia This is the Hashtag AmWriting Podcast, the place where we help you play big in your writing life, love the process, and finish what matters. I am KJ Dell’Antonia, and today we’re talking with Casey Scieszka. And I meant to ask Casey how to pronounce her last name before we started. How’d I do? Casey Scieszka I think you did great. Especially over in Poland, we say “SHESH-kah” over here, but I’ve been corrected many times. I think it’s supposed to be more like what you said. So… bravo! KJ Dell’Antonia Okay… SHESH-skah… SHESH-kah… all right, off we go. Y’all, you’re going to want to know how to spell it, because you’re going to want to order Casey’s debut novel, The Fountain, and it is spelled S-C-I-E-S-Z-K-A. But to carry on with my introduction, Casey is a ridiculously well-traveled innkeeper in upstate New York, and we are just going to let that fantasy sit there for a minute without talking about the amount of snow she’s going to be shoveling tomorrow, because we’re recording this in January and are talking about the fact that I can see her and she is wearing a full-on puffer. So… romance, Hallmark, innkeeper, debut novel—all the things—and also a puffer and snow shovels and pipes and, yeah. You will hear this episode just as Casey’s first book, The Fountain,, comes out, and that is what we’re here to talk about, because I happened to have gotten an advanced copy of it, and I happen to actually have read it—which does not always happen—and even more relevantly, loved it. Therefore, here we are. And Casey, welcome to Hashtag AmWriting. Casey Scieszka Thank you so much. I am so thrilled. I’m like really just beyond that you enjoyed it so much. KJ Dell’Antonia Ah, I’m so—I’m, I really did. I will be encouraging everyone to pick it up. It’s mind-boggling that it’s not… and it is your debut. So I’m going to go ahead and—is it, is it really? Like, I mean, I know it’s your debut, but like, is it the first book you’ve written? Oh no, you’ve, you’ve got a kind of a memoirs situation out, right? Casey Scieszka I wrote like a young adult travelogue with my now husband that he illustrated about when we lived like in China and West Africa and wound up literally out in Timbuktu. So I had some experience that way, but that was nonfiction and for a totally different audience. All that said, this novel is my first published one, but you better believe I have a bin in the drawer. KJ Dell’Antonia That’s what I meant. Casey Scieszka Drawer. (laughing) KJ Dell’Antonia Yeah. Yeah. So, The Fountain, is—just as briefly as possible—it’s the story of an immortal woman who really would like to die, for excellent reasons, because immortality is a weight that is really, really heavy, and you convey that beautifully and wonderfully in this book. And so I want to just start right off—I maybe should let you describe the book—and then I’ll just warn you that my next question is going to be, “Man, how did you have the guts to swing for the fences like this?” Casey Scieszka Well, I think it probably began when I read Natalie Babbitt’s Tuck Everlasting as a fifth grader in English class, which is about a family that—or a little girl who comes across a magical spring that an immortal family is guarding, and then she has to decide, ultimately, throughout the book, what she’s going to do with this information and this knowledge while other people are hunting it down as well. And those questions just haunted and delighted me for decades, and I kept returning to them, and at some point I was working on a novel, had a whole manuscript going, was deeply frustrated, and I started a little something on the side where I was like, this will just be a short story. We’ll see where this goes. This is nothing, and I think, because… I don’t know, maybe you’ve experienced this before too, where if you’re not looking it directly in the eye, sometimes it can just take off, and it all of a sudden had a life of its own. Essentially, this grown-up version of Tuck Everlasting, where it’s about a woman who has come back to her small hometown in the Catskill Mountains, where she was born in the 1800s, 214 years later, to figure out what did this to her so she can reverse it and finally be released. KJ Dell’Antonia Wow, you really have the… the short pitch. What’s your book about? Down! Congratulations! That’s a tough one. Yeah, you, you nailed it. That is what it is about. And I will say that it took—one of the things that I loved about it, and that I like in a book—is that not only was I not sure at some points what the protagonist wanted for herself, I was not sure what I wanted for her. All I knew was that I wanted “something” for her. And that makes for a really interesting reading experience. Because normally, you know, you find yourself sitting there going, well, just, you know, just tell the person, or just, you know, kiss them or accept your reality, or you’d normally—you know what you want—like, take the ring, Frodo, or whatever. Or don’t take the ring, Frodo. And now there’s no book. But, and in this one, we didn’t. How hard was—was that for you to write—sort of, I don’t know… did you know what you wanted the protagonist—or what you wanted the reader to want for her? Or…? Casey Scieszka Yes and no. KJ Dell’Antonia How did you feel about that? Casey Scieszka Right. Yes and no, and yes and no. I think when you’re writing, ultimately, later on in draft, you have to be very clear about what your character wants. But in the early process, I had no idea. The whole thing, like I said, began as a short story, and that’s really just the first chapter or two, and then I was essentially hunting with her. When I was writing that first draft, I was like, what are we looking for? What has happened in the past 200 years in your life that would make you feel one way or another? And then every time I had a different little angel or devil on my shoulder, whatever you will, who was the—well, what about this point of view? What if? Wouldn’t this type of—wouldn’t someone say, well, living forever would be amazing, because you could share that type of science with other people, and you could, you know, have these wonderful medical advances or, you know, things like that? I could then have other characters essentially embody those, those other points of view as well. Although, I’m really glad that you say that in your reading experience, you still weren’t quite sure what she wanted, because I definitely didn’t want, you know—I mean, no, no author wants characters to just be symbols for points of view. KJ Dell’Antonia Oh yeah, no, absolutely not. And I should say that I know that she wants to reverse this. That’s never in question. But this sort of—there—you’re always aware of the question of what does she really want? Because that’s kind of only part of it to want… Casey Scieszka Right. KJ Dell’Antonia An end to this pain, but, but why and what other alternatives there are. And then, of course, I just—I did not know how you were going to end it. I could not imagine how you were going to land that plane. It must have been a tough one. Did you always know where you were going? We will not in any way spoil this. Casey Scieszka Right. No spoilers. KJ Dell’Antonia No, no spoilers. Casey Scieszka I’d say that about halfway through my first draft, I just saw the ending. I was like, “Oh, this is…” KJ Dell’Antonia That’s amazing. Casey Scieszka This is like that very last moment. I was like, this is where I need to get. And those handful of chapters before the penultimate one, whoa, boy, those were the ones that are like I wrote, like seven different books, you know? KJ Dell’Antonia Oh yeah. Casey Scieszka Completely different versions to actually get there. KJ Dell’Antonia So what was your… what’s your hope for the reader experience of this book? Besides, you know vast entertainment and pressing it into the hands of their friends. Casey Scieszka Right. Naturally. KJ Dell’Antonia Yeah… Casey Scieszka Beyond that… KJ Dell’Antonia We love that. Casey Scieszka Um, I mean, I love books that essentially look at what it means to be human and what makes a life worth living. And those are the type of questions that I hope someone would then linger on in their own life after putting down the book. Even in between chapters, you know? That you would be able to reflect on the choices that each character is making and think, like, oh, I would do this. I wouldn’t do that. Or, you know, to kind of just bring that back into your own life that way. Because… I don’t know. Time is perspective, like ever—what is—what does it mean to live forever? What is a long life? Is it? You know, when you’re when you’re little, a summer lasts an eternity. I guess what I’m saying is like our perspective of time is always bendy, and that was an interesting challenge in trying to write a 214 year old woman, where it was very tempting to just turn her into a superhero, where I’d be like, “O

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About

#AmWriting is a podcast and Groupstack hosted by KJ Dell’Antonia, Jess Lahey, Sarina Bowen, & Jennie Nash. Listen, read and join up for hard-won advice and inspiration to help you play big in your writing life and finish work that matters. amwriting.substack.com

Information

  • Creator
    KJ
  • Years Active
    2016 - 2026
  • Episodes
    520
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © KJ DellAntonia
  • Show Website
    #AmWriting

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