Most people know they want more connection in their lives. What they don't have is a simple, honest practice for building it, one that starts with themselves and radiates outward. Timothy Hunter Mathews has been building that practice for years, and in this episode, he shares exactly how it works. What Does Relational Kindness Actually Look Like in Practice?Timothy Hunter Mathews wears a lot of hats. By day, he's an instructional designer who creates corporate training content. He also leads a thriving employee resource group, the Mining Fitness Cafe, focused on whole-person wellbeing with over 100 members. At his church, he's a care minister and grief counselor with more than 15 years of experience sitting with people in their hardest moments. And through all of it, he writes. His children's book The Night Before Pommas, available at select boutiques including Feliz Navidad in Sedona, Arizona, teaches kindness through the story of two dogs. His grief memoir I Promise captures the perspective of his rescue dog Lily Rose, a book that came out of loss and became, unexpectedly, a form of healing. Timothy and Jim met the way a lot of meaningful connections happen now, through LinkedIn. A comment thread turned into a direct message, which turned into a conversation, which turned into this. It's a fitting origin story for an episode about the power of small gestures and the circles of connection that surround us all. The Framework That Will Change How You See Your RelationshipsThe heart of this conversation is Timothy's handshake framework for relational kindness. There are people one handshake away: your family and close friends, the ones whose body language you can read from across a room. There are people two handshakes away: the neighbor whose dog you know but whose name you don't. And there are people three or more handshakes out, strangers in a grocery line who might be invisible to most of us, but don't have to be. Timothy has a gift for making the case that every one of those circles is an opportunity, and that tending to them is a skill you can practice. Jim and Timothy also go deep into grief. Both lost their fathers and have processed that loss in real time over the years. Timothy opens up about what it felt like to lose his dad and then his dog Lily Rose within a few years of each other, and why, for many pet owners, losing an animal can be as hard or harder than losing a person. They talk about why men don't share in mixed groups, what it feels like to be fully present in someone else's pain, and how kindness requires self-awareness before anything else. If you've ever tried to show up for someone while quietly falling apart, this conversation is for you. Key TakeawaysHow to use the handshake framework to identify who in your life deserves more intentional connection, starting with the people closest to you and expanding outward.Why relational kindness begins with how you treat yourself, and how your self-talk shapes your capacity to care for others.How to start a conversation with a complete stranger using the simplest possible tool: curiosity about what's in front of you.Why men are more likely to open up about grief in single-gender groups, and what leaders can learn from that about psychological safety in team settings.How to know when you're too close to a situation to be helpful, and why recognizing that limit is itself an act of kindness.Why the first year of grief is often the easiest because you can prepare for the hard dates, and what happens when you stop bracing for them.How writing from a specific perspective, in this case a dog's point of view, can process an experience that's too big to approach head-on.What makes pet loss feel different from human loss, and how to support someone going through it without minimizing what they're carrying.How small, consistent gestures, a wave, a meal, a note in a jar, compound into the kind of legacy people remember long after you've forgotten the moment.How to build trust with someone who has been hurt before, whether that's a rescue dog or a colleague who's learned not to show vulnerability at work. Chapter Timestamps00:00 Introduction: How Jim and Timothy Found Each Other on LinkedIn 02:00 Timothy's Work: Instructional Design, ERGs, and the Mining Fitness Cafe 05:30 Relational Kindness: The Framework That Starts With You 06:30 The Handshake Framework: 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Connections 09:00 Kindness Across Cultures: Kansas, New York, LA, and Arizona 1 1:30 How Timothy Became a Grief Counselor and Care Minister 16:00 Knowing When You're Too Close to Help: Emotional Awareness in Caregiving 18:00 Jim's Grief: Losing His Father to Pancreatic Cancer 22:00 Why the First Year of Grief Is the Easiest and Why That Changes 24:00 What We Don't Know About the People Around Us 26:00 Losing Lily Rose: How Pet Grief Became a Book 28:30 How Lily Rose Chose Timothy at the Rescue 32:00 Pet Loss vs. Human Loss: Why It Hits Differently 38:30 Dogs as Teachers of Unconditional Love 41:00 Timothy's Writing Life: Books in Progress and a TED Talk Dream 44:00 The Gentle Work of Quiet Kindness: Substack and What's Next 46:30 The 28-Day Kindness Challenge and Where to Find It 48:00 Closing: The Ripple Effect of Small, Consistent Moves Meet Timothy Hunter MathewsTimothy Hunter Mathews is an instructional designer, ERG leader, care minister, grief counselor, and author based in Arizona. He leads the Mining Fitness Cafe employee resource group and has spent over 15 years volunteering in grief ministry at his church. His books include I Promise, a grief memoir told from a dog's perspective, and The Night Before Pommas, a children's book about kindness. ✨ Connect with Timothy: Website: thunterbooks.com 💼 LinkedIn: Timothy Hunter Mathews 💼 Instagram: share your kindness challenge progress and tag him directly 🌐 28-Day Kindness Challenge: available at thunterbooks.com/kindness-challenge/ ✨ Follow Jim Fielding & Ask For An Answer: Website: hijimfielding.com💼 Instagram:@hijimfielding💼 LinkedIn: James (Jim) Fielding🌐 Podcast: Ask For An Answer, available on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify If this episode stayed with you, subscribe to Ask for an Answer and leave a review. It's the single best way to help more people find this kind of conversation. #LeadershipPodcast #RelationalKindness #GriefAndHealing #KindnessAtWork #AskForAnAnswer
