Attach Together

Optima Health Services
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Attached Together is a podcast exploring attachment theory, attachment styles, and psychotherapy in clinical practice. Created by the therapists and tutors at Optima Health Services, this podcast is for counsellors, psychotherapists, and mental health professionals who want grounded, thoughtful conversations about attachment, trauma, relationships, and everyday therapeutic work. Each episode examines how attachment shapes the way we love, cope, regulate, and connect - both in our personal lives and in the therapy room. Expect practical insights, reflective discussion, and training-level knowledge that bridges theory and practice without unnecessary jargon. Listeners can also receive a CPD certificate for each episode, making it easy to integrate ongoing professional development into your week while deepening your understanding of attachment-informed practice. Whether you’re working with anxious, avoidant, or disorganised attachment, supporting couples, or strengthening your clinical formulation skills, Attached Together offers thoughtful, experience-based conversations rooted in real therapeutic work.

  1. 1d ago

    What Happens When We Start Getting Attached to AI?

    What happens when an AI relationship starts to feel safer, easier or more dependable than a relationship with another person? In this episode of Attached Together, Jo, psychotherapist and clinical supervisor, is joined by Georgina Sturmer, an integrative attachment-based therapist, supervisor and lecturer in counselling and on Optima Attachment Training’s Level 5 Diploma. Their conversation looks at AI relationships and attachment from an unusually human angle. What begins with chatbots offering encouragement soon moves into AI companions, romantic partners and avatars designed to recreate people who have died. That raises some uncomfortable questions. If somebody can recreate the voice and characteristics of a person they have lost, could that support a continuing bond in grief - or make it harder to face the reality of the loss? And what happens when somebody creates an AI version of an ex-partner, or potentially even their therapist? The conversation considers why AI and attachment styles may be particularly interesting for therapists. Someone with anxious attachment might be drawn to the reassurance of something that is always available. Someone with avoidant attachment may find closeness easier when it does not require the same interpersonal vulnerability. For someone with disorganised attachment, the predictability of AI may offer relief from relationships that have previously felt chaotic or unsafe. Jo and Georgina also consider what AI cannot easily reproduce. Therapy is not simply about receiving empathic words. It involves two separate minds, embodied co-regulation, boundaries, misunderstanding, transference and countertransference - and the experience of rupture and repair. The episode introduces the provocative idea of AI becoming a “pseudo-secure base”: something that appears to offer reliable soothing and security while potentially leaving the person increasingly dependent on something that cannot participate in a reciprocal human relationship. The discussion includes: • AI companions, avatars and romantic relationships • grief, continuing bonds and recreating someone who has died • the Eliza effect and attributing human qualities to technology • anxious, avoidant and disorganised attachment patterns • reassurance, emotional regulation and dependency • mentalisation and the importance of a genuinely separate mind • human co-regulation and embodied relationships • transference, fantasy and AI versions of therapists • rupture and repair • how therapists can respond without shame or premature judgement Rather than deciding whether these relationships are simply good or bad, the episode returns to a more useful clinical position: curiosity about what the relationship provides and what need the person may be trying to meet. Optima Attachment Training: Optima Attachment Training Listeners can also access a CPD certificate for this episode: Access the CPD certificate

  2. Sep 8

    What Do Our Dreams Reveal? Attachment, Relationships & the Therapy Room

    Dreams can reveal parts of a client’s inner world that are not always easy to reach through conversation alone. Through attachment theory, they may offer clues about attachment styles, relationships and what a client expects when they feel vulnerable or need someone. In this episode of The Attach Together Podcast, Jane is joined by Gav McKee to explore attachment dreams in therapy. Rather than treating dreams as puzzles to decode, Gav looks at the relationships within them: who is there when the client is frightened, what happens when they need help, and whether others feel available, distant or unsafe. The conversation explores how anxious, avoidant and disorganised attachment may appear in dream themes, while avoiding fixed interpretations. Gav also shares practical ways therapists can work with dream material with curiosity, without imposing meaning. You'll hear about: • Retelling a dream in the present tense • Listening for emotions and relational patterns • Exploring significant figures through an IFS-informed lens • Experimenting with different perspectives within a dream • Working with unfinished or recurring dreams • Noticing what happens when the therapist appears in the client's dream • Recognising possible shifts towards earned secure attachment Gav also considers how dreams may change during therapy. A client who once faced everything alone might begin asking for help. Someone may arrive when they're distressed. A frightening figure may lose some of its threat. We can't treat those changes as proof of earned security, but they may give us another glimpse of an internal working model beginning to shift. The episode closes with a clinical dilemma: what happens when a recurring dream is so frightening that talking about it overwhelms the client? However rich the material may be, there are times when exploration needs to wait. If a client is becoming dysregulated, our first task is to offer enough relational safety for them to remain present. Gav describes this as trying to read a map in the middle of a storm. The map may contain something useful, but first we need shelter. Chapters01:28 Why dreams matter in therapy 04:15 Why do we dream? 07:16 Dreams and attachment theory 09:23 Attachment styles in dreams 12:52 Working creatively with dreams 17:44 When a client dreams about their therapist 20:20 Dreams and earned secure attachment 23:31 Curiosity rather than interpretation 26:15 Recurring and frightening dreams 28:50 Regulation, safety and the secure base Common questionsWhat can dreams reveal about attachment? They may offer clues about what a person expects from relationships, particularly when they need comfort, protection or connection. Should therapists interpret clients' dreams? The approach explored here is less about finding the “correct” meaning and more about helping the client become curious about their own experience. What if dream work overwhelms the client? Slow down. Safety and regulation come before exploration. A CPD Reflection Pack accompanies this episode, with reflective questions, supervision prompts and ideas for bringing dream work into attachment-informed practice. If this conversation brings a colleague, supervisee or fellow trainee to mind, please share the episode with them.

  3. Sep 1

    Attachment Theory Beyond the Parent-Child Relationship

    Attachment theory child therapy looks beyond a child’s behaviour to the relationships and systems around them. In this episode of Attach Together, Georgina Sturmer and child and adolescent psychotherapist Alix Hearn explore attachment, play, intergenerational patterns, place and therapeutic relationships. What is a systemic approach to attachment?A systemic approach to attachment looks at the relationships, histories and environments surrounding a child, rather than locating difficulty within the child alone. Alix explores how family, education, culture, trauma and wider systems can shape a child’s experience, drawing on Bronfenbrenner’s ecological model to support attachment-informed formulation. In this episodeGeorgina and Alix explore: Why attachment needs to be understood relationally and systemicallyThe limitations of focusing solely on a child’s behaviourIntergenerational attachment patterns and traumaTherapeutic relationships with parents and carersPlay as a language of relationship in child therapyAttachment, belonging and the “more-than-human world”Place attachment and physical environmentsChildren’s agency and choice in therapyHow systems can recreate relational difficultiesThe ethics of very short-term therapeutic workAlix also raises an important clinical question: when a child has experienced repeated loss, disruption or relational trauma, is offering six sessions necessarily better than offering no therapy at that point? Might supporting an adult or another part of the child’s wider system sometimes be more appropriate? The discussion leaves space for practitioners to think about these questions rather than suggesting a universal answer. Common questionsWhat is attachment theory in child therapy? Attachment theory in child therapy helps us consider how experiences of safety, connection, separation and relationships may shape how a child relates to themselves and others. How do attachment styles affect relationships? Attachment patterns can influence expectations of closeness, safety, care and connection. Alix encourages curiosity about these patterns without reducing people to fixed categories. Why consider the wider system? A child’s difficulties may make more sense when considered alongside family relationships, intergenerational experiences, education, culture, professional systems and environment. What role does play have in attachment-informed therapy? For younger children in particular, play can be a primary language through which relationship, emotion and experience are communicated. Chapters00:00 Welcome to Attach Together 01:40 Rethinking attachment through systems and environment 04:22 Intergenerational attachment and family formulation 05:46 The circles and systems surrounding a child 09:34 Building trust with parents and carers 11:19 Working therapeutically with families 12:32 Play as the language of child therapy 17:25 Children’s agency and choice in therapy 19:16 Place attachment and the more-than-human world 23:37 Ethical dilemma: is short-term therapy always helpful? ResourcesAlix Hearn: alixhearn.co.uk Book: Places of Safety: How Attachment Shapes Our Parenting Optima: OptimaAttachment.co.uk Listeners can also access a CPD certificate to record their professional learning.

  4. Aug 25

    Attachment & Burnout: Why Therapists Keep Going When They’re Running on Empty

    Attachment and burnout in therapy raises an uncomfortable question: why can therapists be so good at noticing distress in other people, yet struggle to recognise when they’re becoming depleted themselves? In this episode of The Attachment in Practice Podcast, Wendy Widdrington is joined by counsellor, couple therapist and supervisor Phil Pinchen to explore attachment theory, attachment styles, relationships and therapy through the lens of therapist burnout. And there’s a personal reason for the conversation. After Wendy and Phil spent months researching attachment and burnout as part of their Level 7 work, Phil gently wondered whether Wendy herself might be experiencing some burnout. Her internal response was essentially: Absolutely not. I’m coping very well, thank you. So why can burnout be so difficult to recognise — and even harder to admit? In this episode• What burnout can actually look like in therapists • Attachment styles and different responses to stress • Why “I’m fine” can sometimes deserve another question • People-pleasing, striving and self-reliance • Losing the energy or “spark” that normally makes us feel like ourselves • Finding your personal “stress signature” • Wendy’s “work-joy ratio” question • Why supervision can protect against professional isolation • Creating enough safety to have courageous conversations about burnout A question to take into supervisionWhat is your stress signature? How would somebody who knows you well recognise that you were becoming stressed? Would you become quieter? More irritable? Work longer? Worry more about clients? Withdraw? Stop doing the things that normally restore you? Attachment-informed therapy isn’t only about understanding our clients. Sometimes the attachment lens can help us become more curious about ourselves. Questions we exploreCan attachment styles affect therapist burnout? Attachment strategies may influence how we respond to stress and whether we seek support, over-function or withdraw. Wendy and Phil discuss research suggesting an association between anxious attachment and burnout, while noting that findings around avoidant attachment were less clear and need further research. How can supervision help with burnout? Supervision offers space to notice changes in workload, energy, boundaries and our relationship with the work — particularly changes that may be difficult to see on our own. Chapters00:00 – Introducing Phil and attachment & burnout 01:28 – Researching burnout through an attachment lens 05:58 – What is burnout? 07:37 – Why admitting burnout can feel difficult 08:51 – Burnout as a process 10:10 – When enthusiasm tips into imbalance 11:34 – Feeling frazzled and losing our spark 15:05 – Reflection, supervision and connection 16:06 – Attachment in supervision 17:42 – Anxious and avoidant attachment defences 19:55 – The work-joy ratio 22:08 – Supervision and professional isolation 25:16 – Recognising our own warning signs 27:15 – People-pleasing, striving and asking for help 30:03 – Earned security and self-understanding 32:45 – Willpower, self-reliance and pushing through 34:48 – Courageous conversations 📄 A CPD Reflection Pack accompanies this episode for counsellors, psychotherapists, supervisors and trainees who want to take the discussion into reflection, supervision or their CPD record.

  5. Aug 18

    Attachment and EMDR: What Happens When the Processing Gets Stuck?

    How do attachment styles and relationships influence EMDR and trauma therapy? In this episode, Jo Oxley and attachment and relationship therapist Jo Bealey explore EMDR and attachment therapy through the lens of relational safety — particularly what may be happening when trauma processing becomes “stuck”. EMDR and attachment therapy can be understood as the integration of trauma processing with attention to the attachment strategies, internal working models and relational expectations that a client brings into the therapeutic relationship. Clients with preoccupied attachment may need to explain and stay connected while processing, while those with avoidant tendencies may prefer less disclosure — raising questions about relational safety, self-reliance and the urge to “just get it done”. Jo O and Jo B also consider the therapist. What happens when processing stops and the therapist begins to wonder: Have I done something wrong? Have I chosen the wrong target? Should I rescue the process? Rather than seeing stuckness simply as a problem to overcome, an attachment-informed approach invites curiosity about what it may be communicating. In this episode:How attachment styles can shape the experience of EMDRCore beliefs as possible expressions of internal working modelsWhy relational safety may be important before trauma processingAnxious/preoccupied and avoidant strategies during EMDRWhat “stuck” processing might communicateTherapist attachment responses, shame and the impulse to rescueGrief, loss and developing a more coherent storyUsing supervision to explore what is being co-createdBuilding a secure relational base when safety has rarely been experiencedChapters00:16 Welcome to Attached Together 01:44 EMDR through an attachment lens 04:17 Core beliefs and internal working models 06:27 Avoidant attachment and “just processing it” 09:11 Creating relational safety 12:27 When processing opens other memories 14:48 Attachment wounds, grief and mourning 18:08 The therapist’s attachment style 19:25 What happens when EMDR gets stuck? 25:12 What stuckness may be communicating Questions practitioners may be askingHow can attachment affect EMDR? Attachment strategies may influence how safe a client feels processing difficult material alongside another person, how much they need to talk, and how they experience closeness, dependence and vulnerability. Why might EMDR processing become stuck? Jo invites practitioners to consider stuckness as communication: might the client feel unsafe, overwhelmed or uncomfortable? What is happening relationally as well as within the processing? Why does the therapist’s attachment matter? A therapist’s own attachment strategies may influence how they respond to uncertainty — including impulses to rescue, withdraw, blame themselves or move the work forwards. CPD & Further LearningA CPD certificate is available for time spent listening to the episode. Visit the Optima Attachment website: UK Listeners ➡️ www.optimaattachment.co.uk AUS Listeners ➡️ www.optimaattachment.com.au For practitioners interested in developing their attachment-informed practice further, Optima delivers Level 5 and Level 7 Diplomas in Attachment-Based Psychotherapy.

  6. Aug 11

    Attachment and Adoption: Beyond the “Lucky” Narrative

    Attachment and adoption in therapy requires an understanding of attachment theory, attachment styles, relationships and the ways early separation may emerge within counselling. In this episode of Attached Together, Georgina speaks with attachment-focused psychotherapist Jane about working therapeutically with adults impacted by adoption. Jane trained alongside Georgina on the Optima Level 5 course and now works in private practice, predominantly with adults affected by adoption. She brings both clinical knowledge and lived experience as an adoptee. In this episodeJane and Georgina explore: How adoption practices have changed over timeWhy there is no single adoptee attachment styleAnxious, avoidant and disorganised attachment strategiesIdentity, belonging and genetic mirroringGrief, anger and the pressure to feel “lucky”Push-pull dynamics in the therapy relationshipBody-based regulation and “adoption overwhelm”The importance of carefully managed breaks and endingsTherapist self-awareness, competence and supervisionAdoption is not one experience. Some adult adoptees may fear abandonment and seek reassurance, while others may protect themselves through emotional distance, self-sufficiency or withdrawal. Attachment and adoption in therapy therefore requires curiosity rather than assumptions. The conversation also considers how missing family stories, early disruption and the absence of genetic mirroring may affect identity. Because some experiences originate before language, clients may communicate them through bodily states, metaphors or relational patterns rather than a clear narrative. Common questionsWhat is adoption trauma?Adoption trauma refers to the emotional or relational impact that separation, loss, disrupted caregiving and identity uncertainty may have on an adopted person. Not every adoptee will use this term, so therapists should follow the client’s language. How can adoption affect attachment styles?Early separation, neglect, trauma or changes of caregiver may influence how a person approaches trust, closeness and dependency. Some adoptees may seek connection intensely, while others may rely on compulsive self-reliance. How might adoption appear in therapy?Adoption may emerge through difficulties with trust, identity, belonging, control, grief, anger or endings. It may also appear through push-pull dynamics between therapist and client. How can therapists work in an adoption-informed way?Use the client’s preferred terminology, avoid assumptions, build relational safety, notice attachment dynamics and plan carefully for absences and endings. Chapters00:00 Introduction 01:51 The changing history of adoption 05:11 Attachment strategies in adult adoptees 07:15 Identity and genetic mirroring 09:35 Adoption-informed therapy 10:19 Language, grief and the “lucky” narrative 13:29 Push-pull dynamics in therapy 15:20 Building a secure therapeutic base 15:41 Body-based work and adoption overwhelm 17:49 Breaks and therapeutic endings 19:58 Competence, supervision and self-awareness 21:08 Final reflections and CPD information FREE CPD Certificate & Reflection Pack You can download the FREE CPD Certificate for this episode via our website www.optimahealthservices.co.uk and join our listener list to receive the Reflection Pack for future episodes.

  7. Aug 4

    Attachment-Informed Therapy for Neurodivergent Parents: Why “Good Parenting” Can Look Different

    In this episode of Attach Together, Joanne Kay is joined by Lyn Coombs and Alison Cunningham to explore what therapists need to understand when working with parents of neurodivergent children. Attachment-informed therapy for neurodivergent parents is an approach that offers relational safety, curiosity and non-judgement while helping parents explore their own emotional needs, attachment responses and experiences of caregiving. The conversation considers how parents can become highly attuned to sensory, emotional and behavioural cues that others may not notice. This attunement can become a strength, but it may also leave parents feeling as though they are constantly anticipating difficulties, managing risk or “firefighting”. In this episode, you will hear about:Why believing a parent’s experience is clinically importantHow societal judgement can become internalised as shameThe difference between loving a child and enjoying every part of parentingWhy parents may grieve expectations without rejecting their childHow neurodivergent parenting can affect partners, siblings and wider relationshipsWhy talking about the child may be a necessary starting point in therapyHow therapists can notice body language, dysregulation and unspoken emotionThe importance of allowing anger, guilt, pride, grief and love to coexistHow attachment-informed therapy for neurodivergent parents can provide a secure, accepting baseGuestsLyn Coombs is an attachment-based and person-centred counsellor specialising in bereavement, domestic abuse and work with parents of neurodivergent children and carers. Alison Cunningham is an integrative counsellor who works with young people, including those with care experience, and with neurodivergent people. Common questionsHow can therapy support parents of neurodivergent children?Therapy can offer a place where parents do not need to minimise, edit or justify their experiences. It can help them identify their own feelings, needs and attachment responses while remaining compassionate towards their child. Can parents love their child and still feel angry or overwhelmed?Yes. Love, pride, grief, frustration and exhaustion can exist at the same time. Conflicting emotions do not make someone a bad parent. Why might a parent spend therapy talking mainly about their child?Talking about the child may help the parent process experiences they have not previously felt safe enough to express. As trust develops, their own feelings and needs may become more accessible. Chapters00:00 Introduction to Attach Together 01:07 Meet Lyn Coombs and Alison Cunningham 02:27 Why parents need to be believed 04:43 Societal judgement and parenting blame 05:44 ADHD medication and the “marbles” analogy 07:43 Parenting styles, attachment and research 09:56 External pressures and parental guilt 11:31 Isolation and the shrinking village 13:00 Rethinking secure attachment in neurodivergent families 15:38 Parental self-doubt and intense attunement 18:00 Clinical dilemma: keeping therapy focused on the parent 19:30 Creating space for mixed emotions 22:30 Reading what is not being said 23:38 Shame, anger, grief and love 25:23 Effects on partners and siblings 26:13 Closing reflections FREE CPD Certificate & Reflection Pack You can download the FREE CPD Certificate for this episode via our website www.optimahealthservices.co.uk and join our listener list to receive the Reflection Pack for future episodes.

  8. Jul 28

    Attachment Ruptures in Therapy: What If Getting It Wrong Is Where Healing Begins?

    Attachment rupture and repair sits at the heart of attachment theory, attachment styles, relationships and therapy. But what happens when a client feels misunderstood, rejected or even judged by their therapist? In this episode of Attached Together, attachment-based psychotherapist Uruj Anjum is joined by Gav, an attachment-based and IFS-trained therapist, to explore why ruptures are not a sign that therapy has failed. In fact, when they are recognised and repaired, they can become some of the most meaningful moments in the therapeutic relationship. A missed detail. A difficult question. A cancelled session. A boundary that feels like rejection. These moments may seem small, but for a client with a history of abandonment, criticism or emotional disconnection, they can reactivate much older attachment wounds. Together, Uruj and Gav discuss how therapists can notice these shifts, stay present when things feel uncomfortable, and respond without becoming defensive or rushing to make everything feel better. Attachment rupture and repair is the process of recognising a break in emotional connection and working together to restore safety, trust and understanding. You will hear why secure attachment is not built through perfect attunement, but through repeated experiences of disconnection followed by repair. The conversation also explores how clients may internalise shame when conflict has never been safely resolved, and how therapy can offer a different experience: one in which hurt can be expressed without the relationship ending. The episode includes a powerful ethical dilemma: What do you say when a client tells you, “I felt judged by you last week”? Gav considers how therapists can hold two truths at once: that they may not have intended to judge the client, while also taking the client’s experience seriously. In this episodeWhy rupture is inevitable in meaningful therapeutic relationshipsHow attachment styles shape responses to boundaries and misunderstandingThe link between unrepaired conflict, shame and self-blameHow to recognise withdrawal, anger and disconnection in the roomWhy therapist defensiveness can deepen a ruptureHow supervision and personal therapy support relational workHow attachment rupture and repair can contribute to earned secure attachmentCommon questions exploredDoes a rupture mean therapy has gone wrong? No. Ruptures are a natural part of close relationships. What matters is whether they can be recognised and explored. How does attachment affect rupture in therapy? A client’s attachment history may shape how they experience mistakes, boundaries, absences and changes in the therapist’s tone or availability. How can a therapist begin repair? By noticing the shift, regulating their own response, acknowledging the client’s experience and becoming curious about what happened between them. Chapters00:16 Introduction 02:04 Gav’s background 03:10 Why rupture and repair matters 04:07 How secure attachment develops 06:42 Rupture in the therapeutic relationship 08:58 Why ruptures are inevitable 12:55 What repair looks like 14:16 When repair is a new experience 16:47 Working with shame 18:47 Supporting the therapist 20:46 Earned secure attachment 23:06 “I felt judged by you” 26:05 Final reflections FREE CPD Certificate & Reflection Pack You can download the FREE CPD Certificate for this episode via our website www.optimahealthservices.co.uk and join our listener list to receive the Reflection Pack for future episodes.

    Attachment Ruptures in Therapy: What If Getting It Wrong Is Where Healing Begins?
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About

Attached Together is a podcast exploring attachment theory, attachment styles, and psychotherapy in clinical practice. Created by the therapists and tutors at Optima Health Services, this podcast is for counsellors, psychotherapists, and mental health professionals who want grounded, thoughtful conversations about attachment, trauma, relationships, and everyday therapeutic work. Each episode examines how attachment shapes the way we love, cope, regulate, and connect - both in our personal lives and in the therapy room. Expect practical insights, reflective discussion, and training-level knowledge that bridges theory and practice without unnecessary jargon. Listeners can also receive a CPD certificate for each episode, making it easy to integrate ongoing professional development into your week while deepening your understanding of attachment-informed practice. Whether you’re working with anxious, avoidant, or disorganised attachment, supporting couples, or strengthening your clinical formulation skills, Attached Together offers thoughtful, experience-based conversations rooted in real therapeutic work.

Information

  • Creator
    Optima Health Services
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    23
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Optima Health Services

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