Dr. Shai L Butler is the Better. Not Perfect Podcast host, a show that is based on her raw and transparent tell-all memoir, titled Better. Not Perfect from Hot Mess to Life Success. Born in a Brooklyn, NY Housing project she came of age during the dawn of the hip hop era and the emergence of the crack epidemic. Pregnant at 13, baby at 14, a college student at 16, dismissed from college at 18, and college graduate at 23, Dr. Shai knows the ups and downs of life from her formative young adult experiences. Now, this seasoned executive with a doctorate in law and policy, who is a successful author, speaker, entrepreneur, career/life strategist, non-profit board member, wife, and mom of three is here to share with women how to fail without being a failure. By telling her bold, transformative story, including her addiction to alcohol and hydrocodone at the height of her career she provides a roadmap for women on how to get free of self-blame, trauma, and shame that led to her struggles with perfectionism and imposter syndrome. Dr. Shai was on the killer quest for perfection until she learned that getting “better” was the true end game to abundant living. In her inaugural memoir, Better. Not Perfect: From Hot Mess to Life Success, she focuses her attention on women who are willing to find the courage to ultimately learn themselves, love themselves to be themselves, unapologetically. For more information about Dr. Shai visit www.drshaibutler.com
The Road To Better: Learning Me, Loving Me, Being Me, Unapologetically
Do you struggle with self-doubt and shame? Have you lived a messy existence at times? Maybe you are messy now and want to get on the path to "Better." Whether a hot or lukewarm mess, Dr. Shai breaks down her own journey from "messed" to "blessed" in this inaugural episode of Better. Not Perfect.
Better. Not Perfect Podcast Season 1: Episode 2-Finding the Courage To Face & Heal From Past Trauma
Do you remember your own early pain points? Did you develop coping skills that helped you in life for a season to get through what you needed to get through but in truth, are no longer serving you for where you are going. In Episode 2 we explore the process and benefits of finding the courage to face and heal from the past. We unpack lessons learned along the way and try to find the good that can emerge even from the most painful of moments. Using the analogy of architecture and building design, we know that by necessity, the deeper the foundation-the taller the skyscraper. Sometimes, such is the case in life, the deeper the pain, the higher the heights you are destined to go/grow. You learned to persist through the storms and made it out on the other side. You went through it to get to it, YOUR it, your next season of greatness. The upside is that you can now share what you learned and use the pain and knowledge gained to help others. Resilience, strength, courage, fortitude, all went into your cement mix and was poured into your foundation because the building was designed to withstand the storm. Construction is underway and Oh, what a majestic structure you are!
Dying To Fit But Destined To Be Different
How far would you go to fit? What would you do to be accepted? Those of us who struggle or have struggled with the "people pleasing prognosis" have had to ask ourselves this question, or avoid asking ourselves, when the answer was too uncomfortable to face. In Season 1: Episode 3 Dr. Shai shares real life experiences that teens and adults can relate to when it comes to wanting desperately to fit in or be accepted by a friend group, community, institution, or any entity. How do you find the courage to weigh the price of admittance versus the cost of acceptance when losing or altering your identity or your authenticity is what is required? All of this and more is explored in Episode 3. To purchase your copy of Better. Not Perfect from Hot Mess to Life Success visit her site on Amazon and get yours today in print, digital or audio. Click here https://a.co/d/9akVnhh
School Days & The Onset of Chaos
Was there ever a time in your life when you were out of control? Were you acting out negatively because you were unhappy with your life? In this episode I talk about how I looked like I was winning in life on the outside, but inside, I was messy and continually making bad choices. I was on the hot pursuit of perfection and the idea of "having it all." The problem was, I wanted it "all" for all of the wrong reasons. I was on a quest to prove to the world, something that I wasn't able to prove to myself. I felt like an imposter daily and yet I pursued more education, more awards, wealth, position, love, etc. but nothing could fill the emptiness inside. Sound familiar, in you, or someone you know. There is a root cause and finding it is the key to attaining and living a "Better" life.
Finding Love: Flawed, Imperfect but Still Deserving
We have a special guest in studio this week, Dr. Odo Butler, (aka Dr. Boo) the co-creator of the Power Couple Podcast that aired in 2019 and ran for two seasons. Together we explore how this imperfect love of ours strives for "Better" daily after 19 years together and 17 years of marriage. Today, in Part 1, we tell the story of how we met and what ingredients went into building the foundation that stood the storms that would come in Part 2: Episode 6. Going from a "Hot Mess" to a "Happy Wife " new mom, and new C-Suite executive was no easy journey. Before Mr. Right came along I had a lot of internal work to do, we both did. But as I frequently say, "Love didn't come when I was perfect. Love came when I was Better."
Love and Everest: Both Worth The Climb
In Episode 6 Dr. Shai continues the conversation on life, love, and marriage with her husband, Dr. Odo Butler (aka Dr. Boo). In this episode, the couple advises on not giving up on love and surviving the struggles and challenges in marriage when life happens. In Better. Not Perfect the book, Dr. Shai writes "The gift of love and marriage was a blessing that at times felt like a huge burden, not because I lacked love for my family but because I received this wonderful gift with no clue that it was about to change everything about my life as it was. So, it truly was the best of times and the worst of times. the new family was the blessing; the new family completely overwhelmed me. I was drowning fast..." A perfectionist by nature, Dr. Shai was on the killer quest for the perfect marriage, the perfect career, the goal to be the perfect mom, the perfect friend, and the list goes on. Having it all and doing it all well was the unspoken mantra until she hit a wall and almost lost the "all" that she pursued (see Chapter 7). Join the conversation and hear how the "decision" to love led ultimately to the healing that saved the marriage.