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Distorted View Daily

Distorted View
  • 4.8（916則評分）
  • 即興表演
  • 每日更新

An Adult Comedy Podcast For Freaks!

  1. 2 天前

    The Prolapse Cannoli

    On Today’s Show: Listener Sponsorship Today’s episode is sponsored by DV listener Yay, who had a very specific request: let Rod Urpay handle the Sideshow ad read. Mission accomplished. Want to sponsor a DV episode? It’s only $25! Watch: Proximity Chat Cause Mass Pandemonium Our New PO Box Address! Distorted ViewPO Box 36268Cincinnati, OH 45236 The post The Prolapse Cannoli first appeared on Distorted View Daily.

    48 分鐘

  2. 3 天前 ・ 訂閱者限定

    Maximum Panty Burn: The Wedgie Machine Chronicles - SIDESHOW

    On Today's Show: Tim opens the show by admitting the audio posted late (and blaming his “lost” microphone), before diving into today’s main theme: the strange, thriving online niche of wedgie porn. We hear about Girl Gets Wedgie From Dog 2 (privated, of course) and why the “unavailable” videos always sound like the best ones. Thousands of “candid” wedgie clips exist — Tim breaks down why this kink works: the reveal of the butt cheeks, the pain/laughter combo, and even the sniff-freak potential. The pièce de résistance: a homemade wedgie machine that drags its victim across the floor. MIT engineering meets ass torture. Tim plays a clip and analyzes the (unintentional?) comedy. Bonus bizarre clip: “Fag Confession” — a guy, a teddy/fox plushie, and a torrent of racially-tinged submissive dirty talk. Tim wonders aloud if these “daddy” fantasies are literal or just roleplay. 🚗 McDonald’s Mobile Order Meltdown Tim segues into his own Egg McMuffin habits and “mobile app” parking sins (he parks in mobile-only spots but walks inside to pick up food). Cue a real-life altercation between a white woman and a Hispanic customer over a McDonald’s curbside space. Tim dissects the “Are you illegal?” go-to insult and why it’s a stupid question (“Would anyone actually admit that?”). The clash ends with classic Karen energy and a McDonald’s employee awkwardly walking food out mid-argument. 🚔 When Calling 911 Backfires Police body cam footage of a domestic dispute where the caller (a woman Tim jokingly nicknames “Wine Cooler”) ends up arrested herself. She alternates between refusing to talk, lunging at her boyfriend, and accidentally striking a cop — all while proclaiming “Bro” at the officer. Tim narrates the spiral from apartment doorway to squad car to jail, praising her “energy” even as she threatens everyone in earshot. 🤖 Don’t Confess Your Crimes to ChatGPT A Missouri State sophomore vandalized 17 cars, then drunkenly confessed the whole spree to ChatGPT on his phone — asking “How fucked am I?” and “Quill I go to jail?” Police recovered the chat logs during a phone search; Tim marvels at the sheer stupidity of typing your own confession into an AI app. Choice highlights from the drunk messages: spelling errors, “I got away with it last year,” and a vile rant about the victims. Schaefer is now jailed, outfitted with an electronic monitor, and barred from bars/alcohol. 🚛 Tow Truck Heist in Brooklyn Tim closes with the story of Russell Leosa, a 56-year-old who stole the tow truck trying to repossess his Silverado — then smashed it and dozens of other cars in a wild getaway. Viral videos show Leosa plowing into parked cars as witnesses scream; the Silverado eventually detaches and tumbles. Despite grand larceny and massive property damage, Leosa scored a plea deal with probation and fines. Tim unpacks Leosa’s chaotic backstory: lawsuits, defamation, marital drama with a retired cop, and a claim that adultery is “a crime.” ☎️ Listener Voicemails A horticulture-hoe listener updates us on Lord Douche’s seed-saving and Starbucks coffee-grounds collection for the garden. Another freak calls about Unicorn Hamster being in Worcester. Tim ponders a New England freak meet-up. New listener misses Spotify’s “Clash of Chris” ads and asks about podcast chapter markers — Tim explains his current AI-assisted show-note workflow. 📝 Episode Takeaways Wedgie fetishes are far more elaborate (and mechanized) than you ever imagined. Don’t park-shame people at McDonald’s unless you’re prepared to be filmed. If you’re going to vandalize cars, maybe don’t confess to a chatbot on your phone. Stealing the tow truck repossessing your car does not end the way you think it will. Lord Douche continues to find new ways to make Tim transport garbage bags of coffee grounds.

    48 分鐘

  3. 4 天前

    Lesbians Brutalized By a Drive-By Farting

    On Today’s Show: Tim kicks off October with one of the most sadistic “Test of Patience” bits yet—an extended, soul-crushing string of parody covers of Cherebra Venti’s viral 2015 anthem “I Don’t Know.” Every possible genre gets the treatment: Top 40 pop, ska revival, throat singing, nu-metal, redneck country, even a Christian praise remix where […] The post Lesbians Brutalized By a Drive-By Farting first appeared on Distorted View Daily.

    47 分鐘

  4. 4 天前 · 附贈內容 ・ 訂閱者限定

    Pred Catch Babies: YouTube’s Next Big Thing - BONUS SEGMENT - SIDESHOW

    On Today's Bonus Segment Show: Today’s show starts with a nostalgic dive into the forgotten background characters of Sesame Street—the “yep-yep” aliens and the creepy old typewriter who would make zero sense to kids today. Tim imagines a modern replacement: a racist smartphone who just screams slurs instead of “noon-noon.” From there, things spiral into the land of insane fundamentalists, clueless politicians, and creeps who absolutely should not be allowed near a microphone. Sesame Street nostalgia & dark upgrades Tim recalls loving the weird side characters more than Big Bird or Cookie Monster. The “yep yep yep” martians and “noon noon” typewriter get a modern reimagining—like a racist smartphone that screams slurs instead of typing noises. The saga of Isabella Moody A wannabe religious influencer (and wife of an AF Post extremist) proudly admits to putting “say the N-word more” on her calendar as her only daily affirmation. Her content is basically one long loop of “words don’t hurt, liberals are gay, stop censoring me.” Tim imagines the grueling daily grind of conservatives fighting for the right to say slurs. Ted Cruz slips up spectacularly In a bizarre moment from a hearing, Cruz accidentally goes from “stop murder, stop rape” to “stop attacking pedophiles.” Tim breaks down the clip, speculates on Cruz’s jealousy of Trump’s unfiltered rhetoric, and imagines a GOP platform that proudly stands for “pro-pedophilia and pro-N-word.” The return of Galileo2333 Everyone’s least favorite predator-apologist creeps back into DV. Galileo rambles about how “stranger danger” is being phased out in schools, which he sees as great news for pedophiles. His monologue includes disclaimers like “it’s still very illegal (wink),” plus endless tangents about flashcards, lying children, and surveillance traps. Tim suggests Galileo should start a Substack for predators—and pitches a spinoff YouTube channel called Pred Catch Babies, where kids set up sting operations for pedos. Bonus: The Fonz helps prevent rape Tim tries out his Henry Winkler impression in a PSA about kids honking to avoid molestation. “Ay! That’s my anus you’re touching!”

    17 分鐘

  5. 5 天前 ・ 訂閱者限定

    Kissing My Butt Hairs Will Cost You Extra - SIDESHOW

    On Today's Show: 🎙 Cold Open: CB Walker’s Psychic Energy Chaos CB gets accused of spreading chlamydia. A caller runs down a list of insults (“stupid, ugly, I can smell your pussy”) while CB calmly transcribes it like a roast stenographer. Pure unhinged energy to set the tone. 👨🏻‍🦲 Alex “Adolf” Jones and His Hitler Stash Jones debuts a Hitler mustache and immediately spins it into a persecution narrative. Claims women were “melting” over him like he’s some Nazi sex symbol. Admits his cat Mushu “accidentally” gave him the mustache, but decides to keep it anyway. Friends warn him he looks like a pedophile, so naturally he embraces the Hitler angle. Bonus content: ranting about African overpopulation and vaccines, proving the look really matches the rhetoric. 💋 Sagittarius Shouty Hooker Diaries (Part 4,982) Shouty reviews a night of questionable clients: Client #1: obsessed with DMX, wants to cuddle and show her dog pics. Tiny dick. Regular: butt-hair kisser is back for another smooch session. Client #3 (15-minute service): waddles in stinking like “rotten beef patties,” pees with the bathroom door open, and asks for two shots in 15 minutes. Also fat-shamed for “big yitties.” Tim notes Shouty refuses nearly every service, making her the world’s most begrudging sex worker. 🏈 Are You Ready for Some Football? (No, She Isn’t) A bizarre new Sunday Night Football anthem, sung by someone half-asleep. Instead of hype, it’s Xanax-laced mumbling about Dak Prescott and Tostitos. Officially inducted into the Linda Finkel Hall of Fame. 🌭 Splinter Dogs: The Corn Dog Recall 50 million pounds of Jimmy Dean and State Fair meat-on-a-stick products recalled. Not for salmonella or listeria—wood splinters embedded in the food. Pancakes wrapped around sausages, blueberry pancake sticks, and more are on the danger list. Five reported injuries; Tim imagines throats shredded by cheap wood chips. 🦬 QAnon Shaman for President (and $40 Trillion) Jacob Chansley (aka QAnon Shaman) sues Trump, the Federal Reserve, Warner Brothers, DARPA, T-Mobile, Israel, and Michelle Rodriguez (?) for $40 trillion. Claims Warner Brothers stole The Dark Knight from his writings. Declares himself the rightful U.S. President and cites “celebrity crush catfishing” by the NSA. Negotiating tactic: sue for a gazillion and settle for less. 📞 Voicemail Freak-Outs Listener birthday shout-out (Happy Birthday, David Mintz!). More love for Beef Bone Mania and “schwee schwa.” A breakdown of the difference between hotwifing and cuckolding.

    43 分鐘

  6. 6 天前

    Polyamory, Poly-Felony In The Double Wide Trailer Of Domestic Horrors

    On Today’s Show: Tim kicks off the week with: a cheeseburger-fueled stabbing, a trailer-park throuple meltdown, Starbucks as culture-war Thunderdome, and Trump signal-boosting an obviously fake “med bed” AI video using his own fake voice. Plus: a brief (good!) mom/cancer update, UK listeners trolling Tim into doing UK content, a cyclist shoved into a canal, […] The post Polyamory, Poly-Felony In The Double Wide Trailer Of Domestic Horrors first appeared on Distorted View Daily.

    57 分鐘

  7. 6 天前 · 附贈內容 ・ 訂閱者限定

    Bizzle Gizzle Butthole Drizzle - BONUS SEGMENT - SIDESHOW

    On Today’s Show: 🎶 “Fucked Up” A Cappella: By popular request, an isolated loop of Mead saying “fucked up.” Sweet, sweet profanity from a man of God. 🎵 Genre-Bending Mead: What happens when you feed Mead’s wholesome DV theme song into my evil machines? First, an Old Negro Spiritual rendition (Mead’s worst nightmare). Then, a full-on gangsta rap remix — featuring crack, sluts, glue huffing, and dick-in-your-mama’s-ass rhymes. It’s the hood shit version of Distorted View you never knew you needed. 📧 Mead Responds: Triggered once again by my “Yankee-Doodly” comments, Mead insists he writes “swing” and “pop-country,” not “parlor piano for Civil War re-enactors.” He even shares his Elton John–lite track “Starting Again.” 💸 Financial Revelations: Mead confirms he blew through his inheritance, but don’t worry — he pressed some vinyl “for posterity” and claims he’s a superstar in France and the Czech Republic. Beatlemania, but make it Mead. 🧛 Demonic Illness Update: Mead reports a serious bout of colitis (a.k.a. bloody mucus s***s), tachycardia, and elevated blood pressure. He blames it not on poor diet, but witchcraft and a hex on his asshole. 🧙‍♀️ Exclusive Witch Audio: DV obtains the chilling recording of witches cursing Mead: “Forevermore, Mead Skelton shall shit snot!” 🐔 Chick-fil-A No More: Despite being broke, Mead vows to quit Chick-fil-A, sick of the cow suit and his managers who apparently demand ICU patients cover their shifts. 💀 Colitis & Curses: Mead belches, apologizes, and rebukes demons while considering life beyond chicken sandwiches.

    17 分鐘

  8. 9月26日

    Jesus Is an Ugly Crier (And Sorry About That No-Show Rapture)

    Today on the Show Cold Open & Setup Segment 1 — The Rapture That Wasn’t Pull Quote: “Jesus Palooza was allegedly a two-day event—gotta keep the heavenly traffic orderly.” Segment 2 — World Premiere: Meade Skelton — “Distorted View Daily” Segment 3 — AI-Generated XXX Ornaments Segment 4 — Liquid Ass at School (Florence, SC) […] The post Jesus Is an Ugly Crier (And Sorry About That No-Show Rapture) first appeared on Distorted View Daily.

    1 小時 6 分鐘
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4.8
（滿分 5 顆星）
916 則評分

簡介

An Adult Comedy Podcast For Freaks!

資訊

  • 頻道
    Distorted View
  • 創作者
    Tim Henson
  • 活躍年代
    2005年 - 2025年
  • 集數
    826
  • 年齡分級
    兒少不宜
  • 版權
    © Tim Henson / Scrod Media Group
  • 節目網站
    Distorted View Daily
  • 提供者
    Distorted View

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