Charisma Quotient: Build Confidence, Make Connections and Find Love

Kimmy Seltzer
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Charisma Quotient: Build Confidence, Make Connections and Find Love

Welcome to the Charisma Quotient hosted by dating, makeover and confidence expert, Kimmy Seltzer. Each week, learn from Kimmy and other experts about how to build confidence from the outside, in. She’s consulted thousands of people to revamp their style, boost their confidence and most importantly, find love. Her lighthearted, down-to-earth and practical approach brings a fun and knowledgeable style to the podcast. She alternates the podcast with solo episodes highlighting various topics, interviewing experts, reading questions and answering them with surprising answers and live coaching sessions.

  1. 6D AGO

    When Sex Feels Like Love: Breaking the Cycle of Fast-Tracked Intimacy

    Sometimes sex feels like love or chemistry but that is not the only kind of intimacy there is.  But you might get caught in a cycle where you are leading with sex to get a connection and in the end not finding the right partner for you.  And then, you might shut down and be nervous about showing your flirty, sexy side after being hurt.  In Episode 402 of The Charisma Quotient, “When Sex Feels Like Love: Breaking the Cycle of Fast-Tracked Intimacy” Kimmy does a live coaching session with Nicolle, a vibrant and self-assured woman who has embraced her sexuality for years, brings a unique perspective to the conversation.   After years of leading with sex and enjoying pleasure for her own sake—not for love—Nicolle finds herself in a new chapter. She’s now seeking a meaningful relationship but feels unprepared when it comes to the art of dating and emotional pacing. Nicolle candidly shares her experiences: from disappointing app dates and challenges around being truly seen as a plus-size woman, to her struggles with playfulness and letting her sensual, flirty nature shine without fear of being objectified.   Kimmy and Nicolle dive deep into the balance of maintaining a sexy, playful energy while also requiring potential partners to earn intimacy and trust. Kimmy offers practical strategies—like finding your conscious tribe, practicing self-focused dating, and building authentic emotional intimacy—as she reflects on reclaiming her sense of self.    You’ll hear: Why so many women confuse sex with love—and how childhood experiences shape this belief Body image realities: what it’s really like dating as a plus-size woman who feels sexy, but battles internalized doubts Real-world app dating struggles—and the differences between authentic connection and transactional “hookup culture” The importance of expressing your emotions instead of always describing or interviewing, and how this shift makes you magnetic   If you relate to some of Nicolle’s story and feel confused about how to safely show your sexy side, come to Kimmy’s next co-ed workshop Unleash Your Sexy Confidence: The Art of Attraction and Chemistry. to get you out there to find opportunities to build your confidence and have fun in the process.  You’ll learn EXACTLY what you need to know and do in order to turn yourself into a sexy magnet.  Go to www.stophatingdating.com to register now. Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat:  https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough⁣ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    51 min

  2. JUL 2

    Dating Without Attachment: Lisa’s Dating Transformation Journey

    Have you ever felt like you were on the outside looking in—guarded by fear, overwhelmed by old patterns, or unsure how to take that first step back into dating after heartbreak or disappointment? In Episode 401 of The Charisma Quotient, “Dating Without Attachment: Lisa’s Dating Transformation Journey” In this powerful episode of the Charisma Quotient, Kimmy is joined by the inspiring Lisa, whose courageous journey from emotional pain to empowered dating will resonate with anyone who has ever felt invisible, stuck, or scared to put themselves back out there. After years of hiding behind layers of oversized clothes, fear, and insecurity, Lisa took a chance encounter into a life-changing adventure with Kimmy aired on TV NBC 9 News segments filled with self-discovery, a striking outer makeover, and the even more profound work of building her inner confidence.   In this episode, Kimmy pulls back the curtain on what it really means to "date without attachment"—a liberating approach that prioritizes curiosity and self-awareness over pressure and expectations. Listen in as Kimmy coaches Lisa live through her fears of being “too accommodating,” wrestles with old patterns shaped by conditional love, and guides her toward setting healthy boundaries, pacing herself emotionally, and embracing playful, purposeful dating.     You’ll hear: How Lisa went from feeling invisible to glowing with new confidence. Why “dating without attachment” is the most freeing mindset for re-entry. Real talk about people-pleasing, boundaries, and the power of self-worth. Actionable tips you can use to break free from old relationship patterns. If you are hiding and have some love shields up which is preventing you from dating or feeling attractive, come to Kimmy’s next co-ed workshop Unleash Your Sexy Confidence: The Art of Attraction and Chemistry. to get you out there to find opportunities to build your confidence and have fun in the process.  You’ll learn EXACTLY what you need to know and do in order to turn yourself into a sexy magnet.  Go to www.stophatingdating.com to register now.   Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat:  https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough⁣ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    50 min

  3. JUN 23

    400th Episode Special: Confidence Hacks That Turn Dates Into Love

    Join Kimmy as she celebrates 400 episodes of client coaching calls, solo episodes, talking with experts, and hearing success stories from people who have worked with Kimmy In Episode 400 of The Charisma Quotient, “400th Episode Special: Confidence Hacks That Turn Dates Into Love” we’re looking back at some of our favorite episodes throughout the years around the themes of getting past fears, increasing confidence and conversation hacks. This special episode dives into the heart of her most popular coaching: how dating yourself and learning the skills will lead to love. You'll hear highlights from the most downloaded and talked-about episodes—featuring expert guests like Dr. John Gray, Kym Douglas, Allison Raskin, Katie Krimitsos, and Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu. You’ll also hear clips from episodes featuring some great client calls and Where Are They Now stories about how to get over common fears that come with dating. Discover actionable conversation hacks for introverts, high achievers, and anyone stuck in the perpetual “boring date” loop. Kimmy shares how to create instant chemistry, break out of perfection paralysis, and make a memorable impression—without feeling fake or forced. Plus, there's a peek into her upcoming interactive workshop, “Conversation Hacks That Convert to Dates.”     You’ll hear: Highlights from our most popular episodes (including date-turning advice from experts like Dr. John Gray) Real client breakthroughs and success stories Proven strategies for making small talk easier and turning conversations into unforgettable connections Ways to break through awkwardness and perfection paralysis, especially if you’re an introvert, high achiever, or just feeling rusty in the dating scene If you struggle with your confidence and not getting anywhere on dates that seem boring or contrived, come to Kimmy’s next interactive co-ed workshop, Conversation Hacks to help you get from boring conversations to flirty ones.  Register at www.stophatingdating.com Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat:  https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough⁣ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    1h 19m

  4. JUN 13

    Beyond the Swipe: How to Meet People in Real Life with Jena Kingsley

    Have you ever wanted to strike up a conversation with a stranger—at a coffee shop, in line at the store, or on a first date—but felt totally tongue-tied or worried you’d seem awkward? In Episode 399 of The Charisma Quotient, “Beyond the Swipe: How to Meet People in Real Life with Jena Kingsley” Kimmy sits down with the fearless and funny Jena Kingsley. Jena is a comedian, writer, and the viral sensation behind daring, hilarious social experiments that turn the everyday awkward into unforgettable moments. Featured on CNN, MTV, The Today Show, and with her popular book Darcy Dates: An Unfiltered Dating Diary, Jena brings unmatched insight on how to break out of your shell and connect in real life. Kimmy and Jena tackle the mental barriers that hold most of us back—fear of rejection, negative self-talk, overanalyzing interactions—and reveal how curiosity and authenticity can turn those fears upside down. You’ll learn why embracing spontaneity and sharing simple observations can spark genuine conversations, plus why it’s better to focus on whether you like them rather than worrying if they like you. You’ll hear some of Jena’s most memorable stories, like the time a rainstorm in LA led to a flirty chat at a bar, or her viral New York subway pole-dancing prank that proves sometimes you just have to leap…and trust it’ll work out.    You’ll hear: Why “perfect” opening lines actually don’t matter—imperfect, spontaneous comments often lead to the most real connections How practicing small risks, like playful social challenges or “scavenger hunt” dates, can massively boost your social confidence Jena’s favorite mindset hacks for ditching self-censorship and staying present  Stories of awkward elevator moments, viral public pranks, and what they teach about authenticity, humor, and breaking the ice—even with total strangers Want to finally shed your social anxiety and start connecting for real? Come to Kimmy’s next interactive workshop, Conversation Hacks to help you get from boring conversations to flirty ones.  Register at www.stophatingdating.com Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat:  https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough⁣ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    42 min

  5. JUN 5

    How Self-Worth Sabotages Your Dating Life: Coaching with Kimmy

    Do you ever wonder how your self-worth is secretly impacting your dating life? Are you stuck in the same painful patterns—chasing the unavailable, feeling unworthy, or never quite connecting with the right match? In Episode 398 of The Charisma Quotient, “How Self-Worth Sabotages Your Dating Life:  Coaching with Kimmy” Kimmy coaches Jessica, a single mom and nurse who’s struggling with insecurity, self-concept, and a cycle of unfulfilling dates. Together they unpack why feeling “not enough” can become an unconscious magnet for the wrong partners—and why genuine confidence, not external validation, is the real key to love. In this episode, Kimmy dives deep into how low self-esteem, formed long before your first date, acts as a silent magnet, influencing who you're drawn to, the choices you make, and even your body language. Jessica bravely shares her journey—from a 15-year marriage and a supportive family, to the struggles she faces dating after divorce. Despite external affirmations of her attractiveness, Jessica wrestles with persistent feelings of not being "the pretty one," a pattern rooted in childhood and shaped by past relationships. Together, Kimmy and Jessica explore how past wounds, perfectionism, and protective shields can keep you stuck in unsatisfying dating loops—chasing after emotionally unavailable partners and feeling disconnected from those who are present and genuine. Kimmy offers relatable coaching and actionable steps, encouraging Jessica to step into her confidence, get comfortable being seen, and shift the way she views herself inside and out.   You’ll hear: Why unresolved insecurities silently run the show in dating How early experiences and family patterns fuel attraction to the wrong people Real-life coaching moments and simple challenges to boost confidence and presence Actionable steps to move towards more self confidence If you are finding yourself not able to attract love or even date due to self worth issues, book a FREE private call with Kimmy to discuss ways of overcoming your love challenges:  https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough⁣ Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat:  https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough⁣ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    39 min

  6. MAY 29

    Why you keep attracting the wrong people: Uncovering your love blocks with Orna and Matthew Walters

    Have you ever found yourself thinking, “Why do I keep attracting the wrong people?” Or maybe you’re out there dating, putting yourself out there, but it just never seems to click or you think there are no good men or women out there left?  In Episode 397 of The Charisma Quotient, “Why you keep attracting the wrong people:  Uncovering your love blocks with Orna and Matthew Walters” Kimmy welcomes Orna and Matthew Walters, internationally acclaimed dating coaches, co-founders of Creating Love on Purpose, and co-authors of the powerful new book “Getting It Right This Time: Break Free from Your Hidden Blocks to Lasting Love.” With over two decades of experience helping thousands find real and lasting love, Orna and Matthew bring a unique blend of expertise, personal vulnerability, and actionable advice to the table.  In this episode, Kimmy, Orna, and Matthew unravel why our brains cling to the familiar—even if it hurts—and how family-of-origin experiences lay down a “love imprint” that shapes our future relationships. You’ll learn why even smart, successful singles fall into “job interview” dating or keep a long checklist to protect themselves, and why vulnerability feels so unsafe until you finally break the cycle. Orna and Matthew walk listeners through their three-step system found in their new book.  They offer powerful personal stories: Orna’s courageous journey as a survivor of domestic abuse and how she learned to trust herself and love again, plus Matthew’s honest admission of once being a “toxic bachelor” and his transformation through deep self-work. Together, they share concrete, real-life examples (like the “fig fight” that helped them build healthier conflict resolution), proving lasting love is possible—no matter your past.  You’ll hear: Why lasting relationships require both chemistry and compatibility. An explanation of ‘love imprints,’ the deeply ingrained beliefs about love that shape your emotional patterns and behaviors in relationships Why so many high-achieving, analytical daters struggle to “let go,” flirt, and reveal their true selves. Step-by-step exercises you can use today to start re-wiring your love patterns and building a relationship from a place of wholeness and confidence If you keep attracting the same patterns and want to know about your personal love blocks, book a FREE private call with Kimmy to discuss ways of overcoming your love challenges:  https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough⁣ Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat:  https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough⁣ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    49 min

  7. MAY 23

    5 Hidden Shields That Block Love After 40

    Ever feel like no matter how much you’ve accomplished, lasting love is still just out of reach? In Episode 396 of The Charisma Quotient, “5 Hidden Shields That Block Love After 40" Kimmy peels back the layers on the “hidden love shields” that so many successful, independent later-in-life daters unknowingly wear as armor—and reveals how these silent protectors can be the very barriers keeping true intimacy at bay. This episode zeroes in on the subtle beliefs and patterns that form after years of heartbreak or flying solo, unpacking how they sabotage romance despite your best intentions. Kimmy walks you through the five classic love shields she sees time and again: from the ultra-independent “I’m Fine” shield, to the ever-rational “Over Analyzer,” the charismatic “Performer,” the heavily-protected “Guarded Heart,” and the “Time Ticking Bomb” urgency to rush into relationships. This episode is packed with actionable insights as Kimmy shares powerful real-life stories—like the 52-year-old financial analyst who tracked every dating detail in a spreadsheet to “protect” herself (and how giving up checking boxes led her to unexpected chemistry), and Susie, the super-capable woman whose very strength kept her walled off from real intimacy. Learn why dropping your love shields isn’t about losing yourself, but about expanding your capacity for joy and closeness, and find out what practical habits and tiny risks you can start today to let love truly in. Kimmy’s vibrant storytelling and step-by-step guidance bring you the tools and encouragement to break out of your comfort zone, stop managing love with logic, and open yourself up to authentic connection—regardless of age or history.  You’ll hear: How to slow down and permit space for connection, not just achievement or outcome. Why true connection and chemistry need authentic presence and vulnerability.  How to avoid rushing into relationships due to fear that “time is running out,” focusing on locking things down rather than experiencing true connection. Why these shields, while protective, actually block genuine connection and keep you stuck in unsatisfying dating patterns. If you’re ready to ditch your emotional armor, book a FREE private call with Kimmy to discuss ways of overcoming your love challenges:  https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough⁣ Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat:  https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough⁣ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    29 min

  8. MAY 15

    Finding Love After Divorce: Where Are They Now with Jeff

    Are you ready to hear a transformative love story that will light a spark of hope and motivation in your own dating journey—no matter where you’re starting from?  In Episode 395 of The Charisma Quotient, “Finding Love After Divorce: Where Are They Now with Jeff” Kimmy sits down with her former client. Meet Jeff: a successful lawyer, devoted dog dad, and someone who, after a 40-year marriage, found himself navigating the modern dating scene for the very first time. When Jeff first began coaching with Kimmy, he confessed to feeling like a fish out of water—uncertain about online dating, struggling with confidence and rejection, and stuck in old habits that just weren’t serving him in love. But by bravely opening up to guidance, updating his wardrobe and even revamping his online image with professional photos, Jeff started to turn everything around. In this heartfelt episode, you’ll hear how Jeff and Kimmy worked through his biggest blocks: letting go of perfectionism, learning to approach women assertively, finding the balance between vulnerability and confidence, and developing a playful, relaxed mindset around dating. Listen in as Jeff recalls pivotal moments, like using his volunteer therapy dog Belle as the ultimate “wing girl” at the dog park, and the hilarious anxiety of keeping his age under 70 on dating apps—plus the bittersweet lessons learned from a “bridge relationship” that ultimately set him up for meeting his now-partner who values his authenticity and the care he invests in himself.  You’ll hear: Why making simple changes to your wardrobe and online photos can dramatically affect how others see you The power of relaxing and taking pressure off yourself The importance of “dating yourself” first—discovering what you truly want, setting boundaries, and being upfront about who you are Why honoring your values ultimately brings the right partner into your life If you’re wondering if you can truly find love after divorce or a long relationship, join Kimmy’s next co-ed interactive Flirt Workshop where you will learn the skill of flirting and having fun.  Just go to www.stophatingdating.com to grab your spot as they do go fast. Book a FREE private call with Kimmy to discuss ways of overcoming your love challenges:  https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough⁣ Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat:  https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough⁣ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    36 min
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4.7
out of 5
143 Ratings

About

Welcome to the Charisma Quotient hosted by dating, makeover and confidence expert, Kimmy Seltzer. Each week, learn from Kimmy and other experts about how to build confidence from the outside, in. She’s consulted thousands of people to revamp their style, boost their confidence and most importantly, find love. Her lighthearted, down-to-earth and practical approach brings a fun and knowledgeable style to the podcast. She alternates the podcast with solo episodes highlighting various topics, interviewing experts, reading questions and answering them with surprising answers and live coaching sessions.

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