Church is Messy Rick Henderson and Svea Merry

Today, Pastor Caleb Smith joins Svea in the studio as they close out our discussions on family by looking at parenting and parental influence.

Topics Discussed in this Episode
00:00 Intro01:36 An exceptional message that spoke to people of many different categories of people who have parental influence whether or not children are a part of home life.03:23 The parental models we have in the bulk of Scripture are not examples of great parenting - usually just the opposite.06:13 The parental influence and example of Jesus - largely exhibited in his relationship with the disciples.08:14 Dual roles of actively shaping and modeling with our lives.13:46 Speaking to people who are grieved by what may have been "caught" vs what was "taught."16:50 How are you engaging in your discipleship with Jesus? The fruit of the Spirit is a natural byproduct of intentional discipleship.19:20 Each child is different, so there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting.22:45 Disconnecting the idea that discipline means punishment or retribution. Discipline is about training and thriving.27:38 How do we account for great parents who do not follow Jesus?33:52 When we don't know what to do or how to proceed, we can go back to the foundation of what it means to be a child of God ourselves and try to bring that, as best we can, into our own child's life.

Today's Topic

Rick and Svea talk about singleness, dating, and loneliness. They discuss Jesus and his singleness, guarding against being defined by another person, and not choosing a path that leads away from Jesus.

Topics Discussed in this Episode
00:00 Intro.00:52 Nerding out on church history.04:58 Fighting against alienating singles - Svea's experience.06:02 Feeling the anti-gospel pull toward homogeneity and seeing the world as we are.08:24 Looking at Hagar: an outcast seen by God and our fundamental need to be seen.09:28 Being single isn't the problem; being alone is the problem. A vision to known and be known.10:56 The soapbox: the weekend services are not a church; they are something our church does. Don't be a consumer and evaluate church by what we receive, but also by what we give.13:11 We are a diverse group of people united in Christ.14:27 A discussion about two groups that tend to be successful at building community17:56 Coaching for those who come to Autumn Ridge: throw the ball back - help make it easier to keep a conversation going.20:02 A theology of singleness: Jesus' humanity as a single person.23:48 As a human, Jesus needed other people, but he NEVER used people.26:43 Guarding against defining our significance by someone else.31:25 Practical tips to avoid problems in pursuing a pure life35:24 Don't ever let yourself be wooed into walking down a path that leads you away from Jesus.

Today, Rick and Svea examine Ephesians 5 and what Paul says (and doesn’t say) about marriage, our presuppositions, and our culture. By applying this chapter to all relationships, what can the family of believers learn about the gospel way of life?

Topics Discussed in this Episode
00:00 Intro00:42 Welcome to new listeners02:40 Church should be a comfortable, restful, and safe place - a family06:55 What could single people take away from a message on marriage08:44 All of the Christian life is meant to put others first - mutual submission is a command to all believers10:05 Reflecting, resisting, or redeeming our culture12:33 Presuppositionalism16:15 What are the differences between Jewish thought and Grecco-Roman thought on marriage?21:19 Ephesians 5: Putting the needs of the other person first.23:14 Submission: I voluntarily choose your lead or your need over my agenda.25:21 Does the church family’s mutual submission look different from a married couple’s mutual submission?31:09 Unity: what we “remember” the text saying vs what it actually says33:48 Scripture wasn’t written in a vacuum. How do you live for Christ within the culture you are a part of? An example of Christians redeeming Roman culture.37:34 The Bible does not say the husband is the head (authority) of the house. The husband is the head, and the wife is the body - they are unified.

1 Timothy Message Series
1 Timothy Chapter 6

Rick and Svea swap chairs as Svea preached the message on 1 Timothy 6 this week and Rick asks her clarifying questions.

Topics Discussed in this Episode
00:00 Intro and recap of the message.02:54 Discussion of what slavery was like in the NT times.08:57 Not every single verse in the Bible points to how the world is "supposed to be" but Scripture engages culture where it is and inform us on what it looks like to follow God in the reality of life's situations.10:17 The circles of context. The overarching message of the New Testament regarding slavery is it's wrong. But, if you were a slave and serving Jesus, how do you behave? You respect your master.15:03 Aristides: Less than 100 years after 1 Timothy was written, the behavior of Christians, including slaves and their masters, was reported to the Emperor as being counter-cultural.17:08 Money. How did this chapter mess with Svea as she prepared the message?19:18 Svea's response: discussing the topic of money with congregation members at either end of the wealth spectrum and the "gut punch" to both the spender and the saver.21:31 Learning to trust God. The experience of finding security trusting in the means by which God provides instead of trusting God.24:54 We tend to hedge our bets with trusting Jesus. All of us need to learn to trust the Giver, not the gift.25:44 Figuring out Simplicity. Generosity seems more obvious.26:46 Simplicity is the focus on doing and engaging in the things that support our top priorities. It's not minimalism. It is applying the gospel best to whatever phase of life you're in.32:52 Being mindful, not mindless, helps to create margin.35:56 Jonathan Edwards quote.37:09 Taking a short break. Be back after Easter for Home Improvement.

1 Timothy Message Series
1 Timothy Chapter 5:17-25

Today, we live up to “Church Is Messy” as we dive into the topic of accountability. How do we rightly hold people accountable? How do we respond when we’re being held accountable? How do we respond to anxiety-producing situations? Roll up your sleeves and get ready for a little messiness.

Topics Discussed in this Episode
00:00 Intro01:13 Overview of “Church is Messy” name and concept.02:20 How do we hold others and leaders accountable within a local church?06:30 How is Autumn Ridge leadership structured?09:39 Trust can grow better with open accountability than with a facade of perfectionism.11:13 Do we need to be concerned about false accusations?12:26 Discussion of how 1 Timothy presents character requirements of leadership, but not a specific job description.15:01 How does Autumn Ridge use 1 Timothy to inform its leadership selection process?19:01 What sorts of things need to be brought up for the benefit of accountability and relationships?23:12 How do we respond to conflict and relational tensions?27:14 Svea talks about how she processes her own response to feedback while also focusing on understanding the other person’s perspective and experience.30:28 Rick places high importance on pastoral candidates who have experienced real hurt because it helps them understand others’ hurt as well.31:28 “Know where your home is,” and know where your identity and purpose are when dealing with anxiety-producing situations.

1 Timothy Message Series
1 Timothy Chapter 5:1-16

While the first half of 1 Timothy 5 is often viewed as a tutorial on caring for widows, this week Rick and Svea discuss what may be surprising themes this section is dripping with: leadership in challenging situations and what confrontation in the way of Jesus looks like.

Topics Discussed in this Episode
00:00 Intro.01:03 Svea: I’ve always read the chapter from a widow’s perspective.04:39 Surprised by the biblical confrontation and leadership themes in 1 Timothy 5.08:49 What kind of disposition will help us to navigate and engage with change in our lives?10:00 The goal of confrontation is to save a relationship not to sever a relationship.13:11 What might it look like to truly live out seeing others as our mothers and fathers or brothers and sisters (as in the opening verses of chapter 5) - especially in conflict?18:37 Don’t view others as a burden but care for them and see the far-reaching impact of that decision: safety in community.23:19 In the way of Jesus are we easy to confront and hard to offend? Being defined by Jesus, not our ideas and performance.27:08 How might we have encouraged Timothy if we had been a part of the Ephesian church?