Complicated Kids

Gabriele Nicolet
  • 4.9 (18)
  • PARENTING
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Complicated Kids is a podcast about why raising kids can feel like an extreme sport sometimes. Join me to unpack all of it, figure out who needs what, and help your family thrive.

  1. Ask Me Anything on Behavior with Lisa Kays

    16H AGO

    Ask Me Anything on Behavior with Lisa Kays

    Kids feel more than they hear. They notice more than they can say. In this conversation, therapist and mom of two neurodivergent kids, Lisa Kays, joins me to explore why your child seems fine until you finally try to read, listen to a podcast, or focus on something for yourself. We talk about the invisible "container" parents hold with their attention, how kids sense when we mentally leave the room, and why sensitive and neurodivergent kids are often especially tuned into those shifts. Lisa and I also get real about mom guilt, martyrdom, and the myth that good parents never disappoint their kids. We look at what happens when you try to fake calm at bedtime, why that incoherence makes things worse, and how much changes when you say the quiet part out loud: "I am tired. I am cranky. This is not about you." From there, we move into play, video games, and the pressure to enjoy everything your child enjoys, and how to reframe joining them in their world without pretending to love every second. This episode is an invitation to trust what your kids are already picking up, be more honest about what you are actually feeling, and let your family experiment with a more grounded, both-and version of connection. Key Takeaways Kids are tuned into our attention in ways we usually underestimate. They often stay regulated until they feel your focus shift, then move in to pull you back. Neurodivergent and "orchid" kids are often especially sensitive to energetic shifts, in part because many rely more on nonverbal cues than language. Parents hold a real "energetic bubble" with their kids. When you mentally leave that bubble, their nervous system notices—even if they cannot explain it. Sneaking self-care through half-dissociated scrolling often backfires. Kids sense the withdrawal of presence, even when you are physically nearby. You cannot fake calm. At bedtime, your child responds to your nervous system, not your "everything is fine" script. Honesty creates safety. Saying "I am tired and irritable, and this is not about you" helps kids trust both their own perceptions and you. Allowing disappointment without rushing to fix it teaches resilience, frustration tolerance, and relational trust. Intentional, communicated withdrawal of attention is different from endlessly overriding your needs. It protects against burnout and builds tolerance for space. Playing with your child does not require loving every activity. You can connect by letting them lead, being the learner, or practicing regulation while being imperfect. When your brain insists there are only two options, it is usually lying. Connection has many possible shapes. About Lisa Kays Lisa Kays is a licensed independent clinical social worker with a private practice serving clients in Washington, DC, Maryland, Virginia, and Oregon. She works with adults across the lifespan on anxiety, depression, addiction, and relationship challenges, with a special focus on supporting parents of both neurodivergent and neurotypical kids. As a parent of two complicated and awesome children herself, Lisa blends clinical insight with lived experience, helping caregivers understand their own nervous systems, set realistic boundaries, and build more authentic, resilient family relationships. You can learn more at lisakays.com and find her on Instagram and TikTok at @thelisakays. About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet I'm Gabriele Nicolet—toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home. Complicated Kids Resources and Links 🌎 www.gabrielenicolet.com 📅 Schedule a free intro call 📺 Subscribe on YouTube 👾 Tell the Story (anti-anxiety tool for kids) ➡️ Instagram ➡️ Facebook ➡️ LinkedIn 🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist Enjoying the show? If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show—and it means a lot. If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, reach out at podcast@complicatedkids.com. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family. Thank you for being here. 💛

    37 min
  2. Sensory Processing Underlies Everything with Donna Redman and Cindy Duffy

    FEB 10

    Sensory Processing Underlies Everything with Donna Redman and Cindy Duffy

    Sensory is not an extra layer. It is the ground your child is standing on. In this conversation, occupational therapist Cindy Duffy and Secret Genius Project founder Donna Redman join me to explore behavior through a sensory lens. Donna shares her research into our connection with art, science, and nature, and how we first meet the world through our senses. Cindy explains why she has always viewed behavior as information, not defiance, and how environmental details—buzzing fluorescent lights, rushing schedules, echoes in a room, or even the hum of a refrigerator—can make a child feel regulated or completely overwhelmed. Cindy also walks us through powerful real-life examples: children whose "messy work" and math meltdowns were actually undiagnosed vision issues; adults who spent decades believing they were "stupid" before anyone evaluated their vestibular and visual systems; and a teacher who realized she was sensory sensitive in a classroom full of seekers and changed everything by tending to her own nervous system. We talk about babies arriving with distinct sensory profiles, siblings with very different needs, and parents who feel mismatched with their child until they understand what kind of touch, movement, and energy that child's body is asking for. This episode is a reminder that behavior makes sense, sensory profiles matter, and there is often a "secret genius" waiting to be noticed once we stop blaming willpower and start listening to the body. Key Takeaways Behavior is communication. When kids lash out, avoid, or shut down, their bodies and brains are telling us something important. We are sensory beings first. Our first encounter with the world is through our senses, yet sensory processing is often misunderstood at school and at home. Environment shapes regulation. Light, sound, echoes, transitions, schedules, and background noise all influence how overwhelmed or calm a child feels. Sensory and vision challenges can hide under "behavior." Erasing constantly, pressing too hard with a pencil, rereading lines, or melting down around math may point to sensory or visual strain—not intelligence. Mislabeling can be harmful. When kids are shamed or disciplined for reactions they cannot control, they often internalize the belief that they are the problem. Everyone has a sensory profile. Understanding your child's profile helps you support them; understanding your own helps you show up more calmly. Adults have sensory needs too. When caregivers manage their own nervous systems, the entire dynamic can shift. Strengths matter as much as challenges. A strengths-based plan often opens doors that behavior plans alone cannot. Babies arrive with a sensory story. When sensory needs are honored early, kids do not have to "act out" to get what their bodies need. There is a "secret genius" under the struggle. Once sensory and nervous system needs are understood, children's gifts often become visible. About Donna Redman and Cindy Duffy Donna Redman is the founder and president of The Secret Genius Project. Her research into the origins of creativity and self-expression explores the deep connection between art, science, nature, and the nervous system. Drawing from philosophy, quantum physics, art therapy, and mathematics, Donna curates programs that help families, educators, and professionals better understand human potential. The Secret Genius of Sensory Processing, created with occupational therapist Cindy Duffy, is one of the first offerings in the series. Cindy Duffy is an occupational therapist who has served communities in Northeast Pennsylvania for more than forty years. She holds a Bachelor of Science in Occupational Therapy from Kean University and an Advanced Pediatric Certificate from Misericordia University. Cindy has worked across public education, geriatrics, rehabilitation, and recovery programs, and is widely respected for her intuitive ability to interpret complex sensory profiles. She now maintains a private practice and teaches The Secret Genius of Sensory Processing, helping parents and professionals understand behavior through a sensory and nervous system lens. About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet I'm Gabriele Nicolet—toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home. Complicated Kids Resources and Links 🌎 www.gabrielenicolet.com 📅 Schedule a free intro call 📺 Subscribe on YouTube 👾 Tell the Story (anti-anxiety tool for kids) ➡️ Instagram ➡️ Facebook ➡️ LinkedIn 🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist Enjoying the show? If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show—and it means a lot. If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, reach out at podcast@complicatedkids.com. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family. Thank you for being here. 💛

    30 min
  3. Why Your Kid Isn't Doing Their Homework with Elyse Dworin

    FEB 3

    Why Your Kid Isn't Doing Their Homework with Elyse Dworin

    Behavior is never just behavior. In this conversation, holistic academic support coach Elyse Dworin joins me to look underneath school struggles, homework battles, and "I don't feel well" complaints through a whole-child lens. We talk about behavior as a symptom, not a character flaw, and explore how challenges with executive function, overwhelm, social stress, or undiagnosed needs can show up as avoidance, lashing out, or shutdown long before a child has words for what's wrong. Elyse walks us through simple, body-based tools to help kids (and parents) tune back in: grounding exercises, naming feelings, noticing clenched fists and racing hearts, and using movement, nature, music, and deep pressure to bring the nervous system back online. We also talk about her Whole Child Collective audit for families who feel like they've "tried everything" and are still stuck. This episode is a gentle invitation to step out of blame, get curious, and start working with your child's brain and body instead of against them. Key Takeaways Behavior is a symptom and a form of communication. When we stop treating it as the whole problem and start asking why, new possibilities open up. The same behavior can have many different roots. Homework refusal might be about overwhelm, difficulty breaking tasks down, social stress, exhaustion, or relationship dynamics at home. Shifting from "my child is being difficult" to "why is this happening" moves parents out of a stuck, victim place and into partnership and problem solving. Interoception, the ability to notice and understand internal body signals, is often tricky for complicated kids. "I don't feel well" can cover many different sensations and emotions. Naming emotions helps. When a child can connect a big feeling to a word like overwhelm, fear, or frustration, intensity often decreases. Connecting feelings to body sensations is a skill. Questions like "Where did you feel that?" help kids map their internal states. Mind-body practices support learning and regulation. Grounding, breathing, time outdoors, movement, music, and sensory tools all help when tailored to the child. Strategies are experiments, not one-size-fits-all solutions. Reflection helps kids learn what works for their nervous system. Adults need this awareness too. Parents can miss their own stress signals, especially during intense seasons. A whole-child lens looks at school, home, social life, body, and brain together. About Elyse Dworin Elyse Dworin is the founder of Elevated Learning Solutions, a holistic academic support practice that helps students thrive by understanding not only how they learn best, but also what supports their bodies and brains. With a strong background in math and dual degrees in Special Education and Exceptional Learners, she blends subject instruction with metacognition, executive functioning, study skills, and social-emotional strategies. Elyse also works directly with parents to understand learning profiles, build effective supports at home, and navigate challenges with confidence. She lives in Germantown, Maryland, with her husband and two young children. About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet I'm Gabriele Nicolet—toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home. Complicated Kids Resources and Links 🌎 www.gabrielenicolet.com 📅 Schedule a free intro call 📺 Subscribe on YouTube 👾 Tell the Story (anti-anxiety tool for kids) ➡️ Instagram ➡️ Facebook ➡️ LinkedIn 🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist Enjoying the show? If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show—and it means a lot. If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, reach out at podcast@complicatedkids.com. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family. Thank you for being here. 💛

    30 min
  4. Building Resilience with Dr. Kate Lund

    JAN 27

    Building Resilience with Dr. Kate Lund

    Some families are living on an emotional rollercoaster. One minute everyone seems fine. The next, it feels like the wheels are coming off. In this episode of Complicated Kids, I sit down with Dr. Kate Lund, a licensed clinical psychologist, resilience expert, and twin mom, to talk about resilience as a way of living rather than a trait you either have or do not have. Instead of seeing resilience as "you hit a challenge and bounce back," we explore what it looks like to build a steadier baseline so you can ride the waves of real life with a little more ease. Dr. Kate shares how she helps parents understand their own context first. That includes their nervous system, history, strengths, and the particular stressors they are carrying. From there, we talk about practical tools for modulating your stress response, including a simple daily relaxation practice that helps you learn what "regulated" actually feels like in your body so you can return to it more often. We also talk about timing. Kids of all ages need space to feel their feelings before they can look for possibilities or "what's next." We walk through real-life examples, including college rejections, tough games, and everyday disappointments, and how to sit with your child's emotions without rushing to fix them. A big part of this conversation focuses on perfectionism and comparison. Dr. Kate and I discuss why there is no resilience formula, why siblings in the same family can need completely different things, and how to move away from "perfect outcome" thinking and toward doing what is optimized within your own context. If you've ever wondered how to be a grounded leader in your family while still being a real human with your own feelings and limits, this episode will give you language, tools, and a more compassionate way to think about resilience for both you and your kids. Key Takeaways Resilience is a lifestyle, not a moment. Regulation becomes more accessible when tools are woven into daily life instead of saved for crises. Your nervous system sets the tone. When you are already stressed, even small challenges can overwhelm the whole family. A simple daily practice matters. A five-minute breathing practice paired with a calming word can teach your body what calm feels like. Self-awareness comes before strategy. Resilient parenting starts with being honest about your own strengths, limits, and stress patterns. Every child has their own context. Siblings can need completely different support based on their nervous systems. Validation comes before possibility. Kids need their feelings acknowledged before they can move forward. Sharing struggles builds connection. Age-appropriate honesty shows kids that resilience includes falling down and getting back up. Perfectionism blocks resilience. Growth happens when you work within your real life, not an imaginary ideal. There is no one-size-fits-all formula. Resilient families stay curious and adjust over time. Possibility lives on the other side of hard things. Holding a long view allows hope without minimizing today's challenges. About Dr. Kate Lund Dr. Kate Lund is a licensed clinical psychologist, resilience expert, author, and host of The Optimized Mind podcast. With specialized training from three Harvard Medical School–affiliated hospitals and more than two decades of clinical practice, she helps parents, athletes, students, and entrepreneurs thrive within their unique contexts. She is the author of Bounce: Help Your Child Build Resilience and Thrive in School, Sports, and Life and Step Away: The Keys to Resilient Parenting. Dr. Kate also volunteers at Seattle Children's Hospital with her dog, Wally, supporting young patients facing medical challenges. About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet I'm Gabriele Nicolet—toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home. Complicated Kids Resources and Links 🌎 www.gabrielenicolet.com 📅 Schedule a free intro call 📺 Subscribe on YouTube 👾 Tell the Story (anti-anxiety tool for kids) ➡️ Instagram ➡️ Facebook ➡️ LinkedIn 🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist Enjoying the show? If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show—and it means a lot. If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, reach out at podcast@complicatedkids.com. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family. Thank you for being here. 💛

    27 min
  5. It's Not Just Autism with ​​Dr. Jodie Dashore

    JAN 20

    It's Not Just Autism with ​​Dr. Jodie Dashore

    Some kids are labeled "autistic" when their bodies are actually screaming for help. In this episode of Complicated Kids, I sit down with Dr. Jodie Dashore, an internationally recognized integrative practitioner and clinical herbalist, to talk about the kids who don't fit neatly into "just autism." These are the kids with paralysis, bone pain, rashes, fevers, breathing issues, crushing anxiety, or terror—and all of it gets folded under one word: autism. Dr. Dashore shares her personal and professional story, including her son's terrifying descent into wheelchairs, tics, and "brain on fire" symptoms that were initially written off as "atypical autism." She walks us through how underlying conditions like Lyme disease, mold/biotoxin illness, PANS/PANDAS, immune dysfunction, and chronic inflammation can radically change how a child feels, behaves, and develops. We talk about why so many families are told to "accept the autism" while life-threatening medical problems go unrecognized, and why bioindividuality matters so much. Not every child responds the same way to the same exposure, and not every autistic child who is struggling is "just" autistic. Some of them are very sick, and they deserve better than a one-size-fits-all protocol. You'll hear how Dr. Dashore uses data-driven, plant-based protocols and targeted testing to figure out what a child's body is actually dealing with, from infections to toxins to immune and hormonal imbalances. We also talk about the emotional reality of being the parent who refuses to accept "this is the best we can do," and how exhausting, isolating, and necessary that can be. If you've ever felt like something is missing from your child's care, or like your concerns keep getting folded back into a single word (autism) without anyone asking what else might be going on, this episode will give you language, context, and a renewed sense that your intuition matters. Key Takeaways Autism and illness are not the same thing. A child can be autistic and medically unwell, and collapsing those realities under one label can be dangerous. Severe symptoms aren't "quirks." Paralysis, extreme pain, rashes, cyclical fevers, breathing problems, and failure to thrive are red flags. PANS/PANDAS, Lyme disease, and mold illness are real and well-documented, yet still frequently missed or dismissed. Bioindividuality changes everything. Two kids with the same exposure can have completely different responses. Nonverbal kids still feel everything. Pain and confusion often come out as "behavior." Autistic brains aren't "more fragile." Infections and toxins affect neurodivergent and neurotypical kids alike. Testing should be targeted, not random. Data helps reveal what's actually happening in a child's body. Plant-based protocols can be powerful when used thoughtfully as part of an integrative plan. Recovery is a long game. Real healing often takes years, not weeks. Parents are allowed to want more than "good enough." Advocacy matters. About Dr. Jodie Dashore Dr. Jodie A. Dashore is an internationally recognized practitioner, researcher, and pioneering clinical herbalist. She specializes in plant-based protocols for autism, Lyme disease, mold/biotoxin illness, and Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome (CIRS). Dr. Dashore holds a PhD in Integrative Medicine, a doctorate in occupational therapy with a focus on neurology, and completed post-doctoral work in immunology at Harvard Medical School. Through her clinic, BioNexus Health, she supports families around the world with deeply individualized, data-driven care. About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet I'm Gabriele Nicolet—toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home. Complicated Kids Resources and Links 🌎 www.gabrielenicolet.com 📅 Schedule a free intro call 📺 Subscribe on YouTube 👾 Tell the Story (anti-anxiety tool for kids) ➡️ Instagram ➡️ Facebook ➡️ LinkedIn 🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist Enjoying the show? If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show—and it means a lot. If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, reach out at podcast@complicatedkids.com. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family. Thank you for being here. 💛

    31 min
  6. The Bad News About Untreated ADHD with Karin Varblow

    JAN 13

    The Bad News About Untreated ADHD with Karin Varblow

    ADHD is not just about attention. It is about self-control, self-esteem, and what happens when the brain goes offline. Living with untreated ADHD is not just about missing assignments. It is about moving through the world without a reliable connection between what you know and what you do. In this conversation, I talk with Dr. Karin Varblow, a behavioral pediatrician, former teacher and social worker, neurodivergent adult, and mom to neurodivergent kids. We look closely at what untreated ADHD really costs over a lifetime, from self-esteem and identity to health, safety, relationships, and even life expectancy. Dr. Karin explains why ADHD is not simply a "school problem" and why kids who "know better" still cannot always do better in the moment. She shares her "know and go" model of the brain, which helps make sense of why lectures and bigger consequences do not lead to different behavior, and why kids so often feel confused and ashamed by their own actions. We also talk about sleep, airway, co-occurring conditions, and how things like anxiety, trauma, allergies, and disordered sleep can overlap with ADHD or even mask it. Dr. Karin breaks down what good treatment actually looks like in real life, including medication, parent training, behavior supports, and making daily life more stimulating and relevant for the ADHD brain. If you have ever wondered whether ADHD "really" needs treatment, or felt discouraged by mixed messages, this episode will help you see the bigger picture with more clarity and more compassion for you and your child. Key Takeaways Untreated ADHD is not just about school performance. It affects self-esteem, identity, health, safety, relationships, income, and even life expectancy over time. Research shows that people with untreated ADHD have higher rates of emergency room visits, poverty, incarceration, and an average life expectancy that is years shorter than their non-ADHD peers. Treatment meaningfully improves these outcomes. ADHD is both overdiagnosed and underdiagnosed, and it often shows up alongside other conditions like anxiety, depression, learning differences, sleep disorders, allergies, GI issues, and trauma. Sorting out "what's what" takes time and thoughtful evaluation. Effective ADHD treatment is not one thing. The strongest evidence supports a combination of medication and behavior modification, with behavior modification defined as training and support for parents, not "fixing the child" in a weekly session. Behavior plans that focus only on lectures and bigger consequences usually miss the mark. Most kids already know the rules. The problem is not a lack of knowledge, it is a lack of access to that knowledge in the moment. Dr. Karin's "know and go" model helps explain this: the "know" part of the brain holds rules, values, and experience; the "go" part drives behavior. In ADHD, especially around non-preferred tasks, the "go" can take off before the "know" ever gets a say. That disconnect is why kids so often say "I don't know why I did that" and mean it. They are not being manipulative. They are genuinely confused and often ashamed, because their behavior does not match what they actually believe or want. ADHD brains do have strong executive function in areas of high interest. A child who cannot organize themselves around homework may show incredible focus, planning, and follow-through when building Legos or diving into a favorite topic. Sleep, breathing, immune function, and overall health matter. Airway issues, disordered sleep, allergies, and inflammation can all worsen attention, regulation, and behavior, and sometimes even mimic ADHD. Addressing these pieces is part of good care. Supporting a child with ADHD means changing the story from "try harder" to "let's change how we're asking, what we're asking, and how we're supporting you." When adults focus on relevance, relationship, and realistic support, kids get more access to their best selves. About Karin Varblow Dr. Karin Varblow is a behavioral pediatrician and neurodivergence specialist who has built a career around coordinated, whole-family ADHD care. She earned her BA from Duke University and her MD from The George Washington University School of Medicine as a National Health Service Corps Scholar, and completed her Pediatrics residency at INOVA Fairfax Hospital for Children. Dr. Varblow's work is shaped by her unique path as a former educator and social worker, a former general pediatrician, a parent in a neurodiverse family, and an individual with ADHD herself. She supports families through medication management, parent support, behavior modification, care coordination, advocacy, and strategy development, with a focus on helping children thrive in real life, not just "meet expectations." About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet Gabriele Nicolet, toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home. Complicated Kids Resources and Links 🌎 gabrielenicolet.com 📅 Schedule a free intro call: calendly.com/gabrielenicolet/free-15-minute-1-1-session 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: youtube.com/@complicatedkids 👾 Grab Tell the Story: gabrielenicolet.com/tell-the-story ➡️ Instagram: instagram.com/gabriele_nicolet ➡️ Facebook: facebook.com/gabriele.nicolet ➡️ LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/gabrielenicolet 🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist: raisingorchidkids.com/orchid-kid-check-list-sign-up Enjoying the show? If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show—and it means a lot. If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, you can always reach out at podcast@complicatedkids.com. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family. Thank you for being here. 💛

    46 min
  7. Turning Autism Complexity Into Clarity with Dr. Theresa Lyons

    JAN 6

    Turning Autism Complexity Into Clarity with Dr. Theresa Lyons

    Autism content is not the same thing as autism science. In this episode, Dr. Theresa Lyons joins me to talk about what it really means to follow the science of autism, and why parents cannot rely on headlines, algorithms, or outdated assumptions when the stakes are this high. Theresa is a Yale trained scientist and autism parent, and she breaks down how peer reviewed research actually moves, how easily it gets distorted, and why it can take 20 to 30 years for scientific conclusions to become common medical practice. We talk about how misinformation spreads online, including research showing that 70% of the most viewed autism videos on TikTok were classified as wrong or over generalized. Theresa explains why credibility does not come from views, and why parents need to get closer to the source, or choose trusted interpreters who do. We also dig into the bigger picture that often gets missed when families are only offered behavioral therapies. Theresa shares how she thinks about risk, genetics, environment, and total load on the body, and why broad buckets like sleep, diet, hydration, and gut health matter when you are trying to support a child. This is a powerful reminder to trust your intuition, be willing to do the work, and stay curious. The goal is not to chase every rabbit hole. The goal is to build clarity, prioritize what matters, and change the trajectory one step at a time. Key Takeaways "Follow the science" should mean peer reviewed publications, not headlines. Theresa explains why going to sources like PubMed, or using trusted interpreters of that research, matters when mainstream summaries can be rushed, incomplete, or wrong. It can take 20 to 30 years for research to reach common practice. That lag matters when your child is five now, not thirty five later, and it is why parents often need to be proactive rather than waiting for systems to catch up. Mainstream media can sound credible while still being misinformation. Theresa shares how even well meaning articles can be based on shallow research done under deadline pressure, which can derail a family's decisions if they are not careful. Online engagement is not the same thing as accuracy. Research discussed in this episode found that 70% of top autism videos on TikTok were classified as wrong or over generalized, which is a wake up call about where many families are getting "education." Parents have to balance curiosity with discernment. The goal is not to chase everything. The goal is to build enough scientific literacy to ask better questions, recognize weak claims, and avoid fruitless rabbit holes. Autism is diagnosed through observation, which can hide the "why" underneath. Theresa explains how biology, chemistry, and health factors can be missed until developmental delays become obvious, and then families are left sorting out root contributors after the fact. Broad health buckets deserve attention alongside therapies. Sleep, hydration, digestion, and diet can meaningfully affect regulation and behavior, and Theresa points out that these basics are often dismissed as "just autism" when they deserve real investigation. Diet interventions require clarity about goals and consistency. Theresa discusses why families need to identify symptoms first, understand mechanisms like gut permeability and immune load, and avoid comparing "partial" changes to results from structured clinical trials. Risk is complex because genetics and environment interact. Theresa describes why research often speaks in terms of increased risk rather than simple causation, and why what is relevant depends on the individual child's context. Trust your intuition and commit to the long game. Theresa's closing message is that change is like turning a boat. It takes effort and time, but a parent's willingness to learn and keep going can meaningfully change a child's trajectory. About Theresa Lyons Dr. Theresa Lyons is an international autism educator, Ivy League scientist, and autism parent. She holds a PhD in computational chemistry from Yale University and previously worked in the pharmaceutical industry in research and development and as a medical strategist. After her daughter was diagnosed with autism, she applied her scientific training to understanding autism research and now teaches parents how to navigate the science with clarity and confidence. She is the founder of Navigating AWEtism, a platform designed to turn autism complexity into clarity by organizing scientific information and making it accessible and actionable for families. Through her work, she has supported parents in 21 plus countries and reaches a growing global audience through years of science backed education on YouTube and social media. About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet I'm Gabriele Nicolet, toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home. Complicated Kids Resources and Links 🌎 gabrielenicolet.com 📅 Schedule a free intro call: calendly.com/gabrielenicolet/free-15-minute-1-1-session 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: youtube.com/@complicatedkids 👾 Grab Tell the Story (anti-anxiety tool for kids): gabrielenicolet.com/tell-the-story ➡️ Instagram: instagram.com/gabriele_nicolet ➡️ Facebook: facebook.com/gabriele.nicolet ➡️ LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/gabrielenicolet 🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist: raisingorchidkids.com/orchid-kid-check-list-sign-up Enjoying the show? If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show—and it means a lot. If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, you can always reach out at podcast@complicatedkids.com. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family. Thank you for being here. 💛

    27 min
  8. Play is a Nutrient Not an Indulgence with Annamarie von Firley

    12/30/2025

    Play is a Nutrient Not an Indulgence with Annamarie von Firley

    Play is where development lives, even when it looks simple, repetitive, or messy. In this conversation, Annamarie von Firley joins me to unpack why play is essential to early brain development and why children need hands-on experiences far more than screens, flashcards, or noisy battery powered toys. We talk about how babies learn to operate their bodies, how repetition builds neural connections, and why dumping, filling, banging, sorting, and mouthing objects are critical stages of growth. Annamarie explains how the brain develops most rapidly from birth to age three, why fine motor and sensory experiences support later skills like writing and speech, and how intrinsic motivation is built when children are allowed to explore without constant adult direction. We also discuss toy safety, developmental appropriateness, and how parents can use everyday items at home to support learning without spending more money. This episode is a grounding reminder that play is not indulgent, chaotic, or optional. It is the work of childhood. Key Takeaways Play is how children build their brains, not something they do after learning is finished. Movement, repetition, and exploration are the engines of development. Most brain development happens before age three, making early play experiences critical for later learning, regulation, and coordination. Children learn by using their bodies, not by watching others perform tasks for them. Passive screen time does not build the same neural connections. Fine motor play supports later skills like writing, feeding, and speech. Touching, grasping, pinching, and manipulating objects matters. Repetition is not boredom. It is mastery. Children repeat actions because their brains are wiring new connections. Intrinsic motivation grows when children are allowed to explore freely without constant instruction, correction, or performance pressure. Everyday household items can be powerful developmental tools. Pots, lids, spoons, containers, and boxes often support richer learning than complex toys. Noisy, battery operated toys are often overstimulating and unnecessary, especially for children under three. Play engages multiple senses at once, which strengthens memory, learning, and emotional regulation. When play is treated as essential rather than optional, children gain confidence, curiosity, and a stronger foundation for lifelong learning. About Annamarie von Firley Annamarie von Firley is the founder of Adventure Town Toy Emporium and Fledglings Flight, both rooted in the belief that play is essential to healthy child development. With a BA in Wooden Toy Design and Construction and a BFA in Furniture Design, she brings a unique combination of design expertise and deep knowledge of how children learn through movement, repetition, and sensory exploration. After more than 20 years owning and operating her fashion house, reVamp, Annamarie returned to her roots in toy design and child development. In 2016, she founded Adventure Town Toy Emporium to curate and create toys that support curiosity, creativity, and developmental growth. During the pandemic, recognizing the developmental risks facing babies and toddlers born during lockdowns, she launched Fledglings Flight. The platform combines a play based app, customized subscription boxes, and expert informed guidance developed alongside pediatric occupational therapists, speech therapists, and child neurologists to help parents support early development through simple, hands on play. About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet I'm Gabriele Nicolet, toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home. Complicated Kids Resources and Links 🌎 gabrielenicolet.com 📅 Schedule a free intro call: calendly.com/gabrielenicolet/free-15-minute-1-1-session 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: youtube.com/@complicatedkids 👾 Grab Tell the Story (anti-anxiety tool for kids): gabrielenicolet.com/tell-the-story ➡️ Instagram: instagram.com/gabriele_nicolet ➡️ Facebook: facebook.com/gabriele.nicolet ➡️ LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/gabrielenicolet 🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist: raisingorchidkids.com/orchid-kid-check-list-sign-up Enjoying the show? If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show—and it means a lot. If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, you can always reach out at podcast@complicatedkids.com. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family. Thank you for being here. 💛

    29 min
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4.9
out of 5
18 Ratings

About

Complicated Kids is a podcast about why raising kids can feel like an extreme sport sometimes. Join me to unpack all of it, figure out who needs what, and help your family thrive.

Information

  • Creator
    Gabriele Nicolet
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    140
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2024
  • Show Website
    Complicated Kids

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