Dire Straights

Tracy Clark-Flory & Amanda Montei
  • 4.6 (27)
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  • UPDATED BIWEEKLY

A feminist podcast critiquing heterosexual love, sex, politics, and culture. www.direstraightspod.com

  1. APR 29

    They sent my mom away to become a good wife

    Tracy’s newest book, My Mother’s Daughter: Finding Myself in My Family’s Fractured Past, is out May 5th! It’s a memoir about how a DNA test connected Tracy with her sister Kathy, who her mom placed for adoption at a home for unwed mothers in the sixties. She set out to understand their mom’s past and stumbled on a bigger story about shame, family secrets, race, and the control of women’s bodies. In this episode, we have a behind-the-scenes chat about her memoir, including the story of how Tracy decided to take that DNA test. We also get into the book’s critique of heterosexuality, the disturbing history of homes for unwed mothers, patriarchal trauma, the importance of untangling all that we inherit from our mothers, “spiritually flailing” in the writing process, and how Tracy’s feeling publishing such an honest feminist book in an era of backlash and hyper-masculine authoritarianism. My Mother’s Daughter, BTW, has received starred reviews from both Booklist and Kirkus, which called it, “deeply researched and lyrically written,” “trenchant and moving,” and “a powerful rejection of white-male dominated systems of oppression.” The book has been described as “tender, revelatory, and deeply moving,” by one Amanda Montei. It’s also gotten glowing blurbs from Rebecca Traister, Irin Carmon, Peggy Orenstein, Koa Beck, Chelsea Bieker, Soraya Chemaly, Savala Nolan, and lyz Lenz. My Mother’s Daughter is officially out Tuesday May 5, but preorders mean everything to a book’s success. So please go grab a copy now! While you’re at it, get one for your mom, your sister, maybe even a man in your life, because men should also read brilliant feminist memoirs written by women. And make sure to join Tracy at one of her upcoming IRL events: May 5: Launch day at Mrs. Dalloway’s in Berkeley, California with Alexis Madrigal. Reserve a spot here. May 7: Books Are Magic in Brooklyn, New York with Irin Carmon. Register here. May 14: Green Apple Books in San Francisco, California with Savala Nolan. Register here. May 15: Skylight Books in Los Angeles, California with Koa Beck. Register here. Please rate us on your podcast apps and to share the episode with everyone you know, and on your socials. Especially this one. Help us make Tracy’s book a smash. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe

    1h 1m

  2. APR 15

    Why is feminism being blamed for everything?

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.com It’s not just the manosphere, MAGA, TERFs, or reactionary feminists who are hating on “2010s feminism” right now. Increasingly, liberals and centrists are getting in on the action. This growing feminist backlash claims that feminism has gone too far. That women have been made unhappy by progressive propaganda. That they’re being strong-armed into polyamory, casual sex, education, careerism, single-motherhood, and childlessness. Meanwhile, as we discussed in a past episode, the Heritage Foundation is trying to use laws and public policy to strong-arm women into marriage, motherhood, and dependence on men. But never mind all that! The real threat, some say, is that feminists wrote some snarky blog posts in the 2010s. Don’t worry, this episode does not rehash the Adult Braces discourse, but we do discuss how the Lindy West pile-on is part of a broader feminist backlash that has been brewing for many years—one that folks across the political spectrum are branding as a reasonable and empowering middle-ground for women. The discourse is truly a mess out there, folks, but in this episode, we help you see the feminist forest for the trees. And while we’ve previously avoided confronting some of the more troubling arguments we’ve seen among liberal feminists—including, notably, on Substack—well, we’re over that. Behind the paywall, you’ll get our most candid thoughts on everything people are saying about feminism today. This is a paid episode. Free subscribers get a generous preview, but if you want the full, uncensored conversation, you will have to upgrade to knock down the paywall. Paid subscribers make this podcast possible. If you care about the state of feminism, invest in our feminist podcast.

    32 min

  3. APR 1

    Jeffrey Epstein, Les Wexner, and the 90s mall

    Remember the 90s? The Spice Girls were singing about girl power, and Britney Spears was asking someone to hit her one more time. Amanda was shopping at the Limited Too at the Sherman Oaks Galleria, while Tracy was sporting her Bebe shirt at a Bay Area mall, and possibly almost getting sex trafficked. Behind the scenes, Les Wexner was cooking up the Victoria’s Secret Angels campaign, soon to be followed by the company's teen PINK-stamped butt line, while his buddy Jeffrey Epstein was allegedly posing as a VS scout to lure girls and women for abuse. We know we’re not the only millennial women unpacking the now wide open secret of what 90s culture did to us. Bringing together everything we know now about the s****y men of that era who taught us all to hyper-sexualize little girls and lingerie-clad angels, in this episode we look back on our 90s girlhoods at the mall and beyond. We discuss what we learned then about gender, sex, bodies, beauty, and relationships with men. And we talk through how we’re deconstructing the lasting effects of 90s mall culture today. This episode is totally free, because we really want you to have it. But if you find this episode helps you to un-gaslight and free yourself even a little, please rate us on your podcast apps, share the episode in your group chats and on your socials, and join our Substack community as a paid subscriber. Paid subscriptions are the only reason we are able to make this show. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe

    1h 20m

  4. MAR 18

    The anti-feminist conspiracy to make women need men

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.com The right-wing really wants women to need men. Maybe you’ve heard: Earlier this year, The Heritage Foundation—the same ghouls who brought us Project 2025—released what they’re calling a blueprint for America’s next 250 years. It’s titled “Saving America by Saving the Family.” Of course, this report isn’t about saving families. It’s 168 pages of policy recommendations that would strong-arm women into dependent relationships with men. We dug into this report so you don’t have to, and we are here to tell you this plan is all part of a broader attempt by conservatives to coerce women into hetero marriage and motherhood, then to trap them there by eliminating no-fault divorce and social services for single women. In this episode, we break the report down for you, and explore how it builds off the decades-long panic we’ve seen in the manosphere about women’s increasing freedom and independence and the broader right-wing fear of women’s ability to live—and thrive!—without a man. Beyond the paywall, we also discuss our personal feelings around this pro-marriage propaganda. Amanda gets real about what divorce taught her about economic dependence on men. And Tracy gets into why this Heritage Foundation report made her think about her mom, who was sent away to a home for unwed mothers in the sixties—a story she covers in detail in her forthcoming book, My Mother’s Daughter, which is now available for preorder! Speaking of independence, this is a paid episode. All subscribers can access a free preview, but if you want to hear the best and juiciest stuff, upgrade to a paid subscription. You’ll get everything that’s behind this paywall, and all other paywalled episodes, including those on porn, Epstein, marital sex, monogamy, divorce, and the dire state of dating today. You’ll also get access to guest conversations, subscriber chats, and more.

    22 min

  5. MAR 4

    The definitive feminist history of the wine mom

    Whether you believe all wine moms are members of ANTIFA or that they’re just apolitical white ladies with too much rosé all day, it’s irrefutable that drunk and high mommies have a long, loaded cultural and political history. Centuries before mommy juice and Mom Water™, before the Bad Moms movies and the giant wine glass memes, moms were getting high to escape the crushing demands of marriage and motherhood. And we can’t really blame them? In this episode, we go deep on inebriated moms, digging into both progressive and conservative characterizations of moms who get drunk and high, and we consider the wine mom’s political potential today. What does the wine mom tell us about gender, power, and feminism? What does she tell us about individualism and collective belonging? And what has the absence of a social safety net taught these gritty moms about fighting authoritarianism? Love them or hate them, drunk and high moms are one of the most important cultural figures for understanding the feminine paradox of agency and refusal under patriarchy. The conservatives who have come for this beloved figure should be shaking in their fascist boots. So get cozy, grab your glass of wine—or your sparkling water if you are, like Amanda, a recovering wine mom. We are traveling through time to give you the definitive feminist history on the wine mom. This is a totally free episode. Isn’t that nice? That said, we are a 100% reader supported podcast. We do this show because we think it’s urgent and important. But we have bills to pay. If you want access to extra episodes every month, including bonus episodes on the latest culture and politics, AND if you want to know that you are keeping us afloat, upgrade to a paid subscription. Show highlights… 2:40 Amanda was born for this episode. 5:30 When we talk about wine moms, we have to talk about patriarchal trauma. But in this episode, we do it in a fun way? 6:00 No moms were moralized in this episode. 8:30 Wine moms are key to understanding women’s agency under patriarchy. 9:30 To understand the wine mom herself, we have to go all the way back to the beginning, to the wandering womb. 11:00 Maenads drank and danced in the forest, which we’re into—to a point. 14:00 Queen Victoria was high all the time on all the drugs, and it seems not unrelated that she had nine kids. 15:00 Laudanum for depressed women, women who see ghosts, basically all the women. 17:15 Then the Victorians (and Freud) just gave everyone cocaine. 19:15 Men coercing women into drugging themselves, in another era of reasonable heteropessimism. 26:20 Working women drank; housewives took pills. 34:20 The OG wine mom was remarkably chill about her husband’s absence. 40:11 Tracy talks about her pre-pandemic writing on the wine mom. 42:02 Amanda talks about her pandemic writing on the wine mom. 46:22 We revisit the SNL wine moms skit. 49:55 Wine moms as a symbol of shared suffering and resistance—and a way for women to feel recognition and belonging through complaint. 53:20 No one asked for Mom Water. 56:55 The intersection between wine moms and the girl boss. 59:11 After the childcare crisis of the pandemic, the center of the wine mom could not hold. 1:00:00 We respond to the conservative demonization of so-called gangs of wine moms, and talk about what makes moms—whether they drink or not—so gritty today. 1:06:00 The paradox of the wine mom is the paradox of women’s agency under patriarchy. Are you loving Dire Straights? Us too! Please share this episode in your group chat, on your socials, IRL, or on your next bad date. It goes a long way toward connecting us with listeners who need the work we’re doing—and in supporting this scrappy, independent feminist podcast. We want to hear from you! Send us your pleas for advice and your stories at direstraightspod@gmail.com, or leave us a voice memo here. Please also tell us all your thoughts on the wine mom in the comments! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe

    1h 13m

  6. FEB 25

    The Hetero State of the Union

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.com Thanks to everyone who tuned into our Substack Live. We started with a debrief of last night’s State of the Union. If you didn’t watch: Congrats. Let us recap for you. Just a few topics we touched on: * Trump as Daddy Protector of Patriarchy (also: a leering creep) * That bombshell NPR report on the DOJ withholding files re: allegations of Trump abusing a minor * Why the U.S. men’s hockey team (and the entire Trump admin) needs a training in bystander intervention * Kash Patel: frat-boy idiot * Trump and Melania’s s****y marriage as a perfect reflection of the misogyny and control behind “family values” * Everything the America’s Next Top Model documentary got wrong about consent and reporting on an alleged sexual assault * Kid Rock and RFK Jr. chugging milk, doing pushups in a sauna, and wearing jeans in a cold plunge tub * The anti-heterosexuality of the Olympics * Scott Galloway being disgusted by the birth of his own child * Love Is Blind fat-shaming and straight men’s “just being honest” rhetoric This recording is a special extra for paid subscribers, who make this podcast possible. Free subscribers will find a preview above, but you’ll have to upgrade to watch the whole thing. We’re also officially offering these Lives on all podcasting platforms if you prefer just the audio.

    20 min

  7. FEB 18

    Is porn a scapegoat for patriarchy?

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.com The adult industry has turned into a popular scapegoat for nearly every problem in hetero life and culture right now. Pornography is blamed for everything from the “male loneliness epidemic” to women’s heteropessimism. Some of these arguments are coming from feminist-minded folks who are reckoning with the cultural influence of pornography. But there’s also a decidedly anti-feminist contingent that is focused on the idea of porn as a tool of men’s oppression. These attitudes are even circulating within the manosphere and among right-wing pundits. Figures like Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson, Tucker Carlson, and Theo Von have all joined the anti-porn chorus. Meanwhile, conservatives are attempting to ban porn while bowing at the feet of a president who paid hush-money to porn performer Stormy Daniels. There are certainly valid critiques to be made of porn as an industry. In this episode, we separate the legitimate from the illegitimate, the feminist from the anti-feminist, and we highlight where critiques of porn are overly simplistic, shame-based, anti-sex work, or just doing patriarchy’s dirty work. We also get into our personal histories with porn—from how Amanda felt as a teen and in her twenties watching boys and men get sucked into tube sites, to Tracy’s experience as a teenager using porn as a guidebook to hot sex. Tracy also shares some behind-the scenes secrets from her years reporting on the industry as a journalist—including how they make fake cum shots. And you’ll hear our uncensored thoughts about recent anti-porn arguments made by fellow feminists. This is a paid episode. All subscribers can access a free preview, but if you want to hear the best and juiciest stuff, upgrade to a paid subscription. You’ll get everything that’s behind this paywall, and ever other paywalled episode, including those on Epstein, marital sex, monogamy, divorce, and the dire state of dating today. You’ll also get access to guest conversations, subscriber chats, and more. Show highlights… 02:58 Porn is a scapegoat for hetero problems right now… 03:43 … from jackhammering to low-effort men to women’s heteropessimism. 06:50 We will refrain from relitigating the feminist sex wars. For now. 08:11 Amanda reluctantly asks Tracy to explain “gooning.” 15:20 Tracy talks about reporting as a journalist on a porn set and having an eye-opening conversation with a performer that she had come of age watching. 17:33 We don’t just learn “sexual scripts” from porn. One of us learned as much about sex and gender roles from “The Real World: Seattle” as YouJ*zz.com. 23:32 The right-wing crackdown on porn—from age-verification laws to fantasies of an all-out ban. 33:49 Tucker Carlson has some big feelings about cuckold porn. 35:44 Andrew Tate says that porn—as opposed to, say, accused sex traffickers like himself—are ruining society. 37:07 Let’s not forget Jordan Peterson calling porn “deadening” and “parasitical.” 37:52 Amanda ties in Scott Galloway to all of this nonsense. 40:10 We dig into current anti-porn arguments among feminists. (And “feminists.”) 41:39 Tracy reminds us that the “pro-porn” feminists were often critical of porn! They had a lot of questions and no easy answers. 42:55 Amanda reminds us that Andrea Dworkin’s arguments are often oversimplified. 47:40 These debates usually boil down to a simplistic “good” or “bad.” We can probably thank the gender binary for that. 50:34 One day we’ll have to do an episode on Substack feminism. 52:25 Amanda talks about her “anti-porn” phase. 58:02 Tracy talks about her youth watching early internet porn and trying to figure out how to get good at sex. 01:01:14 She found great role models in porn, actually. 01:04:40 Tracy talks about the behind-the-scenes of porn sets—and you will never think of Cetaphil the same way again. 01:11:29 Let’s critique porn, sure, but let’s not lose sight of how anti-porn arguments are being used in conservative, right-wing, and reactionary feminist attacks that are transphobic, homophobic, racist, misogynistic, and whorephobic.

    22 min
  8. Epstein was behind the #MeToo backlash

    FEB 11

    Epstein was behind the #MeToo backlash

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.com Thanks to everyone who tuned into our Substack Live. Today’s bonus episode was a cultural and political grab bag. Just a few topics we touched on: * Tracy blaming dire straightness for her skateboarding-related concussion * Chris Harrison’s new trad marriage dating show * Epstein’s hand in the #MeToo backlash * The files telling us what we already know re: the conspiracy of patriarchy * Sexual violence isn’t just a problem of the global elite * Clavicular: the manospherean looksmaxxer who took a hammer to his jaw * The politics of the gaze and the normalization of the hetero pose * Wuthering Heights lingerie * Does Jacob Elordi have BDE… or “The Dick Doesn’t Even Matter” Energy? This recording is a special extra for paid subscribers, who make this podcast possible. Free subscribers will find a preview above, but you’ll have to upgrade to watch the whole thing. We’re also officially offering these Lives on all podcasting platforms if you prefer just the audio.

    25 min
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4.6
out of 5
27 Ratings

About

A feminist podcast critiquing heterosexual love, sex, politics, and culture. www.direstraightspod.com

Information

  • Creator
    Tracy Clark-Flory & Amanda Montei
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    28
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Tracy Clark-Flory & Amanda Montei 098044
  • Show Website
    Dire Straights

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