Disordered: Anxiety Help Josh Fletcher and Drew Linsalata

Fight ... flight ... or freeze. But what about the fawn response?



This week on Disordered, Drew and Josh explore the fawn response and people pleasing. While this may not be a response we see directly like we do with fight, flight, or freeze, the fawn response that leads to habitual and almost automatic people pleasing can get in the way of the recovery process. It's not exactly easy to choose to do difficult scary things to get better when you may have been conditioned by past experiences to keep yourself under wraps and not rock the boat or risk rejection or harm.



We're examining some common experiences that can deal to developing and fawn or people pleasing response and looking at how the fawn response can impact family relationships friendships, intimate and romantic relationships, and even career or social group performance.



One item of note. It's perfectly OK to be shy. Being considerate of others and trying to be a good person is not a problem. We're not trying to erase these parts of our personalities. Overcoming the fawn response and excessive people pleasing is not about becoming hyper-independent or insensitive. This is always about bringing behaviors and beliefs back into a healthy, beneficial place in one's life.



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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.



⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?



Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

An anxious state can be at least partially fueled by the act of metacognition. That's thinking and feeling ... about thinking and feeling. When meta-beliefs tell us that thinking, rumination, worry, and mental problem solving is a good way to fix our internal experiences (like big emotions, scary thoughts, or anxiety), things can go off the rails.



What seems like a good idea - thinking to fix how you feel - suddenly feels like a bad idea after you can't accomplish your goal and wonder why you can't stop engaging in overthinking, worry, and rumination.



This week Josh and Drew are joined by Rhiannon Wilcox, a qualified UK therapist that's been trained and certified in Metacognitive Therapy, a treatment that's been studied and validated when used to address chronic and disordered anxiety problems.



Come learn more about thinking and feeling about thinking and feeling, and why those thinking habits might be leading you astray, even as they promise to lead you to recovery.



To find Rhiannon Wilcox online:

https://instagram.com/rhiannonwilcoxtherapy



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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.



⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?



Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Even when you understand that changing your reaction to anxious thoughts, feelings, and sensations is the way out ... you may feel that this is impossible because those thoughts, those sensations, and your reactions feel completely automatic and unchangeable.



This is a common concern for almost anyone struggling with anxiety disorder recovery so this week Drew and Josh are talking about how anxiety, anxious thoughts, symptoms, and reactions can feel - and really are - automatic. But even when things happen automatically, there is a choice point in every anxious situation where we are aware of what is happening. That awareness gives us power to choose a different path, even when that path is a difficult one to choose.



It is critical to practice self-compassion in this context because it can be easy to fall into the trap of declaring failure or setback when you can't "control" automatic things. Remember that we're not trying to control automatic things, we're working on building awareness of our automatic thoughts, sensations, and reactions, so that the NEXT actions we take after that can be intentional and directed at recovery rather than retreat.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.



⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-----

Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?



Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you've ever listened to an episode of Disordered and felt the need to ask "Yes, but what about when ...?", then this episode is for you.



A common struggle among people trying to overcome chronic and disordered anxiety is gaining the ability to generalize the principles of recovery and apply them in an individual context. Anxious people will often hear advice aimed at different types of anxious presentations, then ask for specific advice aimed at their specific fears or thoughts or symptoms.



That's a reasonable thing to ask of course, but what if the advice you're hearing for panic attacks also applies to GAD or OCD or health anxiety? Can you see how the principles of eliminating avoidance and doing the opposite of what your fear wants to you do might apply in your situation?



Recovery isn't necessarily about learning how to eradicate your specific symptom or worry. It's about learning that avoiding and struggling against your internal experiences is making things worse instead of better. This general principle is applicable regardless of the specific struggle in any given moment.



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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.



⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-----

Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?



Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Summer has arrived in the US and the UK, so let's talk about anxiety based on the heat. Summertime is often a difficult time for people struggling with anxiety disorders because the seasonal change in temperature becomes an anxiety trigger.



Today the guys are talking about:




How heat is just uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable in any way is often unacceptable for people with anxiety disorders.
Heat may trigger feelings that resemble panic attacks or that might remind you of times in the past when you've had scary or difficult experiences that you've attributed to high temperatures.
How anxiety disorders will argue irrationally about the danger or risk posed by summer temperatures, often totally discounting the ability of humans to exist quite safely in a very wide range of even extreme climates.
Typical exposure ideas that target heat centric anxiety.
Why working on your heat anxiety means you're also working on other triggered because heat anxiety is just another expression of the single core fear that comes with things like panic disorder or OCD - that thoughts, feelings, and sensations will be too much.



As usual there are questions from the community and a few "did it anyways" to provide encouragement and inspiration.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.



⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-----

Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?



Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

We're back in business this week with both Josh and Drew in studio again chatting about the role of food and eating in the anxiety recovery process. Everyone eats, and for people struggling with anxiety disorders, food and the process of eating can become deeply connected to recovery and/or attempting to manage anxiety, symptoms, thoughts, or emotions.



As usual the guys share from their own experiences while covering some of the key points to consider when identifying how food and eating can be part of your recovery plans. A few important points:




Eating to be healthy is never a bad idea. But eating as a way to try to manage anxiety symptoms, prevent panic, or to micromanage physical processes that were never designed to be micromanaged can backfire on us.
Eating can become a safety or avoidance behavior when we tie our diets and eating habits to our anxious fears.
Be mindful of less than well-informed advice found on the Internet and in other places that promises to cure your anxiety with special diets - especially extreme or highly restrictive diets.
Don't make the mistake of eating like your body is fragile and can only exist inside a narrow dietary range. In the absence of medical/physical issues that demand dietary limitations, a varied diet has physical benefits while also teaching vital lessons about psychological flexibility that matters so much in the recovery process.
Contrary to popular belief, it is possible (though we would not suggest this if you can help it) so fully recover from an anxiety disorder - being afraid of being afraid - being anxious about being anxious - while consuming only junk food. Treating your body well is a better idea of course and certainly supportive, but it is not generally helpful to place food and diet on a pedestal as a cornerstone of recovery.
Food can change how your body feels. This is 100% true. But remember that being afraid of your body is an entirely different situation. This matters in the recovery process.



This episode was sparked by a question from a listener. Thanks, Nick! Want to participate in a future episode of Disordered by sending in a did it anyway or asking a question? Visit disordered.fm and let's hear what's on your mind!

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.



⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-----

Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?



Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠