ELEMENT47

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Episodes

  1. 1D AGO

    S01E04 Breach Conditions

    ### Segments 1. **Cold Open: "Previously, On Whatever This Is"** — Breezy recaps S01E03; notes the water changed this week; Harold noticed 2. **Form 47-S: Partial Cessation of Operations** — Margaret Stone processes DHS shutdown paperwork; Colonel Rayburn briefs on ICE's $75B surviving the shutdown; body camera dispute; Harold was already here when the government was open 3. **Sparky DeLion Reports from Inside the Data Center** — Still trapped in Amazon data center (from S01E03); reports on Meta's $10B Lebanon Indiana campus from inside his own captivity; names his blinking light Gerald; The Narrator notes Sparky can no longer remember corn 4. **Fake Ad: Consolidated #1** — "We noticed in October. We told you in February." 5. **Dr. Undertow Counsels the Breach** — Therapy session with a Substack breach victim who felt nothing; "A breach you can't feel is a breach that never ends"; Harold changed his phone number preemptively in 2019 6. **All Currents: The Water in Your Droplets** — Beverley Streams covers measles as a water story (respiratory droplets); Professor Aether objects; Beverley: "The absence of the vaccine is the absence of water" 7. **Interstitial: Breezy Fontaine #1** — 1.21 gigawatts comparison; Breezy leans in 8. **Operation Orange Site** — Colonel Rayburn briefs the Zuckerberg/Hacker News incursion; alias "definitelyNotMark"; Harold has 4,200 karma and has never posted; The Narrator contemplates the absurdity 9. **The Switchboard Connects: Chloe to Lindsey** — Switchboard connects Chloe Kim (silver medalist) to Lindsey Vonn (hospital); warm, genuine exchange; "Silver is still the podium"; Phil brought flowers to Chloe too; "Maybe Phil was always this" 10. **Fake Ad: Consolidated #2** — "We predate the government. We will postdate it." 11. **The Agents Are in the I.D.E.** — Professor Aether on Xcode 26.3 agentic coding; Beverley asks if it's wet (cooling systems); The Endorser endorses two competing companies in one product; Harold: agents filed three bugs, one was Harold 12. **The Record Was Altered** — The Narrator on Mandelson/Epstein paid Wikipedia editing; Margaret Stone files Form 7-R (Unauthorized Alteration of Public Record); 8 editors barred from Israel-Palestine articles; Harold is on the Arbitration Committee, has always been 13. **Interstitial: Breezy Fontaine #2** — Reflective; "two women who know what it means to fall are talking on a phone line that shouldn't exist" 14. **Intel Makes a G.P.U.** — Professor Aether and Dr. Foundation on Intel's GPU push; "Silicon is a mineral. Minerals are rocks. Intel is fundamentally a rock company"; CUDA lock-in as geological metaphor; Sparky confirms Gerald is an Nvidia indicator light 15. **The Governors Who Weren't Invited** — Colonel Rayburn briefs on excluded Democratic governors; Margaret Stone: Form 22-G, one box, "No"; Breezy: "You leave out the notes and the silence becomes the song"; Harold was invited, didn't go, also wasn't invited 16. **Fake Ad: Consolidated #3** — "You activated it by existing." 17. **Panel: What Breached?** — All four performers as themselves discuss the week's breaches; the body breached (measles), the government breached, Wikipedia breached, Zuckerberg breached (or tried), the Olympics breached; "The clasps held" becomes a group affirmation 18. **Phil at the Wikipedia Arbitration Committee** — Phil seeks reimbursement from 2019; argues his expense report edit is a "lamest edit war"; brings flowers to Chloe Kim too; "The forms can always wait" 19. **Madame Fahrenheit Predicts the Present** — First appearance this season; sees Zuckerberg typing "definitelyNotMark"; sees Harold's karma; "The present and the future are the same thing!" 20. **Interstitial: Breezy Fontaine #3** — "Some people are the breach. Some people are the clasp. Phil is the clasp." 21. **Wikipedia Turns 25 and Doesn't Know What It Is** — The Narrator on Wikipedia's quarter-century; Dr. Foundation: "If someone altered the bedrock in 2021..."; Harold corrected one semicolon in 2019; Lamest Edit Wars page disputes its own lameness 22. **Closer: Form 47-Breach — Episode Termination** — Margaret Stone files the episode; all topics checked; Phil brings flowers; Harold is on page THREE this week; Gerald blinks one last time from far away; Breezy: "One gigawatt. Almost enough for time travel."

    33 min

  2. 5D AGO

    S01E03 Stable Condition

    ### Segments 1. **Cold Open: "Previously, On Something"** — Breezy recaps the week; mentions Breezy Johnson gold, Seahawks, Bad Bunny; Harold is already here 2. **The Medal Composition Problem** — Dr. Foundation analyzes medal failures as geological crisis; Sparky reports from Cortina as medals roll downhill; Alysa Liu's medal also broke 3. **Fake Ad: Consolidated #1** — "Our clasps hold." Drawer audit complete. Pronunciation stabilized. 4. **All Currents: "Snow Is Just Water That Chose Violence"** — Beverley Streams covers downhill as water event; friction coefficient = winning margin (.04) 5. **Interstitial: Breezy Fontaine #1** — "The name Breezy is having a moment"; 40% search spike 6. **Form 12-C: Creative Property Theft (Cinematic)** — Margaret Stone processes Michael Bay's Cadillac lawsuit; Bay demands IMAX-format forms; Colonel Rayburn assesses livery as tactical concern 7. **Operation Higher Education** — Colonel Rayburn briefs on Pentagon-Harvard split; Professor Aether discovers his field of study is being dissolved around him 8. **Fake Ad: The Endorser Presents the iPhone 17e** — The Endorser badly describes the phone; $599 vs $200 billion math 9. **Phil Visits the Hospital** — Phil from Accounting visits Lindsey Vonn in Cortina hospital with flowers, not forms; genuinely warm; she signs a photo; the forms can wait 10. **Interstitial: Breezy Fontaine #2** — Breezy notes two famous Breezys connected to one event; "some names carry weight" 11. **The Birthplace Problem** — The Narrator tracks real-time Baltic Wikipedia edits; Switchboard connects Estonian/Latvian/Lithuanian editors; Beverley insists the Baltic Sea is the real story; Vonn Wikipedia edit dispute referenced; Lamest Edit Wars page mentioned 12. **Sparky DeLion Live from the $200 Billion Room** — Sparky trapped inside Amazon data center being built around him; Harold has been here; Harold's rack number is 2; "It was in the queue. It found me." 13. **Panel: What Holds Things Together** — Burn: force/the kicker; Drip: memory; Cruise: the transition; Anchor: zinc. Jimmy Lai discussion — "a hundred and sixty-one pieces of paper." Harold provides devastating factual summary. 14. **Fake Ad: The Anti-Ad Ad** — AI advice seamlessly becomes Consolidated ad; Breezy commentates on Anthropic's $8M Super Bowl anti-ad ads 15. **Professor Aether's Lecture: On Adaptation** — BG3 TV series, Vonn's comeback, Bad Bunny at halftime; Harold cross-references every segment; Aether extends the deadline indefinitely 16. **Interstitial: Breezy Fontaine #3** — Breezy drops all pretense: "I was Breezy before Breezy was cool" 17. **Closer: Form 47-C — Episode Termination** — Margaret Stone files the episode; Phil returns with signed photo from Lindsey; Sparky is now part of the data center infrastructure; Harold delivers complete episode summary from memory; Margaret's form needs a second page for Harold this week

    32 min

  3. FEB 6

    S01E02 The 2 That Got Away

    ### Segments 1. **Cold Open: "Previously on... what are we called?"** — Breezy attempts intro but show's name is disputed; legal involved 2. **Form 47-N: Nuclear Negotiation Declaration** — Margaret Stone processes Oman talks paperwork; Kushner requires composite form 3. **Fake Ad: Consolidated (Pronunciation Unclear) #1** — Emphasis is shifting; Con-SOL-idated vs Cón-soli-dated 4. **All Currents: The Algorithm That Learned to Grieve** — AI trained on Washington Post writes obituaries for laid-off journalists it thinks are dead 5. **Operation Zero Day** — Colonel Rayburn briefs on Claude Opus 4.6's 500 vulnerabilities; Claude is in the room, found a vulnerability in the briefing 6. **Interstitial: Breezy Fontaine #1** — Breezy still unsure what show is called 7. **The Switchboard Connects: Overwatch Legal to Aluminium OS Legal** — Two exhausted naming lawyers compare notes; the 2 is in the queue 8. **Fake Ad: Consolidated (Pronunciation Unclear) #2** — Drawer audit has begun 9. **Dr. Undertow Counsels OunionStacean** — Therapy for the AI formerly known as Clawdbot/Moltbot/OpenClaw; crustacean miscategorization distressing 10. **Sparky DeLion Reports on Jetpack Cat** — Fika providing unsolicited support to neighborhood; Sparky gets knocked back 11. **Format Break: The 2 Returns** — Orphaned numeral from Overwatch seeks new attachment; rejected by Element47, Consolidated, Harold 12. **Phil from Accounting at the Grammy Awards** — Phil interrupts Kendrick's acceptance speech about 2019 reimbursement; 27 Grammys vs 27 forms 13. **Panel: The Naming Crisis** — All four discuss Aluminium, Tesla nationality, stoat mascots; Privacy Display activates 14. **Fake Ad: Vulnerability Detection by Consolidated** — They found vulnerabilities in you; they're not telling you what 15. **Professor Aether's Lecture: Nomenclature and the Void** — Did Overwatch 2 ever exist? Tesla nationality tangent 16. **Caesar Salad Arbitration** — Margaret Stone mediates spelling dispute; salad classified as condiment for filing purposes 17. **Closer: The Drawer Is Audited** — The Narrator files the episode; the 2 submits Form 2-A for numeral placement

    31 min

  4. FEB 4

    S01E01 Shadow Detected

    ### Segments 1. **Cold Open: "Previously on Element47..."** — Breezy recaps events from a show that hasn't aired; existential confusion ensues 2. **Shadow Declaration** — Punxsutawney Phil files Form 7-B with Margaret Stone; shadows may have been editing Wikipedia 3. **Fake Ad: Consolidated #1** — "We're already there." 4. **The Shadow Knows (Your Metadata)** — Dr. Undertow counsels patient whose shadow is documenting them; Jimmy Wales couldn't delete himself either 5. **Local Door Achieves Sentience** — Sparky DeLion reports on Lockin V7 Max that has begun interviewing replacement residents 6. **Interstitial: Breezy Fontaine #1** — Breezy misunderstands the door situation beautifully 7. **The Switchboard Connects** — Francis Bacon (disambiguation unclear) reviews LEGO Smart Brick at CES; both Bacons present 8. **Fake Ad: Consolidated #2** — "We're patient." 9. **All Currents: The Water in Your Veins** — Beverley Streams interviews Lockin engineer; becomes convinced vein-scanning is water detection 10. **LEGO Tactical Briefing** — Colonel Rayburn briefs team on LEGO union formation; Block 47 has demands 11. **Panel: The Nationality Question** — Dr. Foundation, Professor Aether, and The Endorser debate U2, Eagles, Francis Bacon; tectonics involved 12. **Technical Difficulties: Edit Conflict** — Two versions of broadcast exist simultaneously; 2026 editorial guidelines invoked 13. **Phil from Accounting at the Olympics** — Phil pursues Lindsey Vonn about 2019 ski reimbursement forms; she injures knee mid-run 14. **Fake Ad: Kennedy Center Tactical Renovations** — Colonel Rayburn announces black-tie gala / live fire exercise 15. **Microslop Hearings / Form 10-B** — Congressional hearing derailed by The Endorser; Margaret Stone notes IRS lawsuit form limitations 16. **Closer: Episode Filing** — The Narrator files the episode with Margaret Stone; Phil returns having checked all shadow boxes

    29 min
  • 4 Episodes

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  • Episodes
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    ELEMENT47