12S4E: The 12 Steps for Everyone

Denise and Jackie Freed
  • 5.0 (35)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

12S4E deep-dives into Denise and Jackie Freed’s toolkit for living - The 12 Steps for Everyone. This mother-daughter duo discusses mental health, mental illness, recovery, sobriety, anxiety, depression, and more. Also featuring guests from their “village” who share their everyday miracles and survival tips, the show aims to provide practical tools, community, and hope to people who say “I’m okay!” but don’t really mean it (and who also need to drink more water).

  1. MAR 9

    Episode 57 - Step 1 Okayness

    In Episode 57, Denise and Jackie share the big news: Emergency Protocol is officially shifting to "12 Steps for Everyone" to better represent their cohesive mission and why they do what they do. The mother-daughter duo uses this transition as a jumping-off point to dive into Step One of their reimagined 12 steps: admitting that we are not okay, we have not been okay, and we aren't getting better on our own. The conversation explores the reality of navigating major life transitions, from family health scares and grief to "Mercury Gatorade" (retrograde) communication mishaps, and how identifying our personal "tells" can help us manage heavy seasons without completely unraveling. They also touch on the "rigamarole" of finding mental health providers and how staying connected to a higher power often starts with simple rituals and noticing "angel numbers" like 11:11 in our daily lives. Ultimately, they remind us to practice an "economy of effort" and recognize when the most spiritual thing we can do is simply rest or find quiet in a puzzle, closing with their signature gratitude practice and a simple but powerful message: You’re a miracle. Key Times: 00:00:50 Shifting focus: From Emergency Protocol to 12 Steps for Everyone 00:01:16 Navigating "Mercury Gatorade" (Retrograde) and communication mishaps 00:03:49 Step One: Admitting "we're not okay" and we can't do it alone 00:05:32 Jackie's experience with grief, brain fog, and identifying a "tell" 00:07:02 Leaning into support: Therapy, insurance miracles, and university care 00:08:51 Connecting to a higher power through 11:11 and "angel numbers" 00:09:43 Denise's juggle: Family health, workaholism, and being present 00:14:21 The economy of effort and the power of focusing on the present 00:15:15 Looking back: Admitting powerlessness vs. the illusion of control 00:18:26 Regulating the nervous system through puzzles and the concept of rest 00:29:29 The closing gratitude practice and deep breathing 00:30:00 "You're a miracle. Drink some water." Topics Covered: - The official transition from Emergency Protocol to 12 Steps for Everyone - Surviving "Mercury Gatorade" and communication glitches - Step One: Acknowledging powerlessness and the need for support - Processing grief and family health crises in real-time - Navigating the "rigamarole" of finding mental health providers - Staying connected to a higher power through angel numbers and rituals - Balancing workaholism with the "economy of effort" - Using puzzles and the radical concept of rest to regulate the nervous system Join our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Saturday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!) Follow Us: Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

    31 min

  2. FEB 23

    Episode 56 - Happy Mardi Gras Valentine's Day!

    In Episode 56, Denise and Jackie bring the "vava voom" to celebrate love and Valentine’s Day (even if you're listening in March!). The mother-daughter duo uses the holiday as a jumping-off point to dive into the complex topics of love, romantic relationships, and most importantly, self-love. The conversation explores the difference between performative self-care and genuine self-love, and how setting boundaries is a crucial part of recovery and mental health. They also touch on Step 11, discussing how different forms of meditation—from silent walks to guided apps—can help regulate the nervous system and help us notice "glimmers" (the opposite of triggers) in our daily lives. Ultimately, they remind us to release the pressure of arbitrary timelines and societal expectations, closing with their signature gratitude practice and a simple but powerful message: Love is everything. Key Times: 00:00:42 "Vava voom" and Valentine's Day accessories 00:05:15 Exploring the concepts of self-love vs. self-care 00:11:30 Step 11: Finding your own version of meditation 00:18:20 Glimmers: Training your nervous system to notice the good 00:26:45 Navigating relationship expectations and boundaries 00:32:10 Releasing arbitrary timelines and societal pressures 00:38:24 "Love is everything" - A belated Valentine's Day message 00:38:37 The closing gratitude practice and deep breathing 00:39:11 "You're a miracle. Drink some water." Topics Covered: Valentine's Day, accessories, and the "vava voom" energySelf-love vs. performative self-careStep 11: Finding accessible ways to practice meditationRegulating the nervous system by looking for "glimmers"Setting healthy boundaries in romantic and platonic relationshipsLetting go of timelines and societal pressuresClosing gratitude and breathing practice Join our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Saturday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!) Follow Us: Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

    40 min

  3. FEB 9

    Episode 55 - Third Spaces

    In Episode 55, the duo braves a winter storm (well, Jackie does) to discuss Step 10: "We maintain a daily practice of reflection, amends, and forgiveness." This prompt leads Denise to share a powerful and gritty story from nearly 40 years ago—her "last run" involving an ex-boyfriend's stash, a van behind a market on Lincoln Boulevard, and the paranoia that eventually led to her surrender. She contrasts that "pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization" with the full, hopeful life she leads today, highlighting the rigorous discipline required in her early days of recovery. Jackie flips the script to discuss why she, someone without a substance addiction, engages with this work. She describes the 12 Steps as necessary "scaffolding" for her mental health, replacing lost structures like religion or pre-pandemic friend groups. They dive deep into attachment theory, the concept of "Third Spaces" (and how to create them, like Jackie's "Home Cafe" or "Crafternoons"), and how consistency builds safety in the nervous system. The episode rounds out with some highly practical "adulting" hacks: Jackie breaks down her visual fridge organization system (produce on the top shelf, condiments in the drawers!) to reduce waste, while Denise reveals her non-negotiable morning routine involving a made bed and her beloved "Lola" blanket. Key Times: 00:00:50 Snowy St. Louis survival guide: The vegan section is always stocked 00:03:04 Step 10: Maintaining a daily practice of reflection 00:04:40 Denise shares her "last run" story (Cocaine, stolen keys, and a van on Lincoln Blvd) 00:08:44 The discipline of early recovery: Commitments, schedules, and faking it 00:11:04 "Pitiful and Incomprehensible Demoralization" vs. The Ick 00:18:28 Jackie on why she does the steps without addiction: "Scaffolding" for mental health 00:23:37 Relearning safety in the body and the book Safe 00:27:52 The magic of "Third Spaces": Meetings, Home Cafes, and Bakery Walks 00:33:58 Jackie’s neurodivergent-friendly fridge organization hacks 00:37:51 Denise's strict morning routine: Make the bed before coffee Topics Covered: Step 10 of the "12 Steps for Everyone"Denise’s personal rock bottom story (The "Last Run")The discipline and structure of early sobriety (Commitments, 90 in 90)Mental health "scaffolding" and replacing lost societal structuresAttachment theory and relearning safety (Book mention: Safe)The importance of "Third Spaces" for community connectionNeurodivergent-friendly organization: Fridge hacks and washing produce immediatelyMorning routines and the psychological benefit of a made bed Join our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Saturday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!) Follow Us: Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

    48 min

  4. JAN 26

    Episode 54 - Life be Lifin

    In Episode 54, Denise and Jackie open with a nod to the state of the world -"The horrors persist, and so do we" - before pivoting to the core of their podcast: The 12 Steps for Everyone. They take a moment to read through their reimagined steps, discussing how they stripped away the patriarchal and religious language of the original program to create something accessible for anxiety, depression, and the general human condition. The conversation flows into a nuanced debate about "California Sober," with Denise sharing why it’s a slippery slope for her personally, while acknowledging it works for others. They explore the concept of "Something Bigger" (which can be as simple as the ocean) and the importance of finding the right "vibe" in recovery meetings. Looking ahead to the rest of the year, they double down on intentionality. Denise explains the "Big Rocks" theory of time management - scheduling the most important things (vacations, rest, passions) first, so the "sand and water" of daily life don't crowd them out. Meanwhile, Jackie brings a tech-savvy approach to self-care, sharing how she uses iPhone NFC tags to automate her skincare routine and reduce mental load. Key Times: 00:00:50 "The horrors persist, and so do we" – Checking in on the weather 00:01:25 Appreciating the sunset at Palisades Park 00:05:38 Reading the "12 Steps for Everyone" (The full list) 00:08:28 A candid discussion on "California Sober" 00:11:28 Defining "Something Bigger" vs. "Higher Power" (The Pacific Ocean) 00:14:03 Jackie on making amends to herself (Living Amends) 00:16:03 Denise leads a meeting one year after the fires 00:18:28 The energy of in-person meetings: Oldest Cake vs. Youngest Cake 00:30:52 The "Big Rocks" theory of prioritization and calendaring 00:36:52 Jackie’s tech hack: Using NFC tags to automate skincare tracking 00:39:29 Book mentions: Culpability and Careless People Topics Covered: The "12 Steps for Everyone" (Full reading and review)"California Sober": Personal definitions and boundariesDefining a Higher Power as "Something Bigger" (Nature/Ocean)Living Amends: Forgiving yourself and treating yourself betterThe "Big Rocks" theory: Prioritizing joy and rest in your calendarThe difference between "resolutions" and "decisions"In-person meetings vs. Zoom (Connection and Energy)Automating habits: NFC tags, shortcuts, and reducing decision fatigueBook recommendations: Culpability and Careless People Join our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Saturday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!) Follow Us: Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

    44 min

  5. JAN 12

    Episode 53 - Happy Holidays

    Welcome back! In Episode 53, Denise and Jackie return after the holiday whirlwind (Christmas, New Year's, and Thanksgiving) to process the "lot" that was the previous year. They kick things off with a high-energy memory of a Florence and the Machine concert before diving into how they are navigating the current emotional landscape—finding hope in the message of "Wicked," using "Changed for Good" as a form of protest, and staying focused on truth amidst global distractions. The conversation centers on grounding practices for the new year. Denise shares how the Serenity Prayer helps her center herself between acceptance and courage, while also exploring new "woo-woo" territories like the I-Ching and mediumship. Jackie re-frames the concept of New Year's resolutions into "decisions" for how to live, emphasizing that there is no arbitrary timeline for personal growth. From "The Gem" and "The Queen" archetype card pulls to stories of ancestral bravery, the duo finds strength in looking backward to move forward. They discuss the palpable sense of hope many are feeling for 2026, the importance of "clean energy" when setting goals, and Jackie's personal commitment to adding more "whimsy" to her life (and not burning her tongue on hot food). Key Times: 00:01:43 Remembering the Florence and the Machine concert (sprinting up the rows) 00:03:16 Post-holiday reflection: "This year was a lot" 00:04:41 "Wicked" and being "Changed for Good" as a form of protest 00:05:57 Staying focused on the real issues (Epstein) despite distractions 00:07:26 The Serenity Prayer and the importance of meetings 00:12:38 Planning tools: Wall calendars and Shinola notebooks 00:13:25 Re-framing resolutions as "Decisions to live my life by" 00:15:30 Diving into the I-Ching and throwing coins 00:17:22 Annual Card Pulls: The Gem and The Queen 00:21:37 Ancestral bravery: Traveling alone with nothing but wits 00:30:34 "There is no timeline": Bringing clean energy into your goals 00:32:41 Jackie's resolution: Adding "Whimsy" and not burning her tongue 00:33:30 The underlying current of hope for 2026 00:35:33 Reminder: Mercury "Gatorade" (Retrograde) Topics Covered: Post-holiday processing and the "Yin and Yang" of joy and grief"Wicked" as a source of hope and protestThe Serenity Prayer: Acceptance vs. CourageThe energy of in-person meetings vs. ZoomPlanning for the future: Wall calendars, notebooks, and "Decisions"Spiritual practices: I-Ching, Archetype Card pulls, and MediumsAncestral strength and gratitude for those who came beforeReleasing the pressure of January 1st timelinesThe "Mercury Gatorade" (Retrograde) warning Join our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Sunday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!) Follow Us: Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

    38 min

  6. 12/29/2025

    Episode 52 - Worthiness is a Verb

    Episode Summary: In this episode, Denise and Jackie enter "Heavy Protocol" mode as they process a week filled with intense political news and emotional weight following the recent elections. Despite the heaviness, they lean into hope, connection, and the pursuit of joy. Denise shares insights from her recent event with Brené Brown, specifically the concept of "locking in", a metaphor drawn from the lock system on the River Thames. This sparks a revelation about the necessity of transition time between work and home, leading to a new understanding of boundaries and self-care. They also discuss Step Two of their 12-step journey: believing that we are worthy of getting better and that things will get better, even when the external world feels chaotic. The conversation touches on everything from the wisdom of a six-year-old cooking prodigy to the stark reality of current events, including the fears surrounding immigration and political instability. Yet, true to form, they find lightness in the dark: planning a sustainable Christmas (complete with an early tree setup), celebrating Friendsgiving with "Wonder Bread" traditions, and continuing their search for signs from the universe. Key Times: 00:01:25 Checking in on the campus mood post-election 00:02:51 Denise's intimate event with Brené Brown 00:05:34 Seeking signs from the other side (The "Mongoose" update) 00:07:22 Reflecting on a heavy week of political news 00:19:04 Step Two: "We believe we are worthy of getting better" 00:24:43 Wisdom from a 6-year-old ("Chef Max Can Cook") 00:27:42 Brené Brown's "Locking In" metaphor: The River Thames 00:29:40 The importance of transition time when coming home 00:33:00 Denise's "Lifelong Learner" tour: Oprah, Snyder, Brown, and Mediums 00:36:25 "If we lose, I'm going to jail": Steve Bannon and the stakes 00:38:22 Making joy: Early Christmas decorating and sustainable holidays 00:39:54 Friendsgiving and the "Friends & Family" restaurant night Topics Covered: Processing post-election emotions and campus atmosphereBrené Brown’s concept of "Locking In" and transition timesStep Two: Worthiness and the belief that things will get betterThe importance of transitions for mental health (military and daily life)Political anxiety and the importance of local action (transition funds, food banks)"Making Joy" as an active practice: Holiday prep and gathering friendsSustainable consumerism during the holidaysLifelong learning: From history (Timothy Snyder) to mediumshipThe "Mongoose" sign and communicating with the other side Join our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Sunday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!) Follow Us:Follow Jackie: @jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

    42 min

  7. 12/22/2025

    Episode 51 - Finding Joy

    In this episode, mother-daughter duo Denise and Jackie Freed embrace the changing seasons and the necessity of "making your own fun" amidst a heavy political and social climate. As the weather turns cold in both St. Louis and Los Angeles, the pair discusses how they are actively seeking joy, Jackie by driving eight hours round-trip to Chicago for the final Angel City FC game, and Denise by maneuvering her way onto a guest list to see Brené Brown. Jackie delivers three critical Public Service Announcements regarding the upcoming election, the end of Daylight Savings, and the impending Mercury Retrograde. The conversation then turns to the power of showing up, as they share stories of Halloween vulnerability, Denise facing "party anxiety" while hosting a "Wigging Out" office event, and Jackie leaning into the cringe of being the only student in costume at her department party. The episode tackles difficult topics with characteristic candor, including the conflict of supporting sports teams when ownership or players don't align with their values. Denise sounds off on the Dodgers owner's investment in private prisons, while Jackie navigates the pain of a transphobic op-ed written by an Angel City player. Ultimately, they circle back to the importance of community, fundraising for food banks, and celebrating diversity through Friendsgiving, before closing with their grounding 5-4-3-2-1 gratitude practice. Key Times: 00:01:41 Jackie’s 8-hour drive for joy (The Angel City game) 00:04:45 Denise gets on the guest list for Brené Brown 00:08:00 Denise’s "Woo Woo" side: Mediums and signs 00:11:33 Jackie’s 3 PSAs: Election, Daylight Savings, Mercury Retrograde 00:18:18 Homesickness, the World Series, and "Crazy, Stupid, Love" 00:21:12 Denise’s "Real Estate is Spooky" Halloween party 00:26:48 Jackie’s experience being the only one in costume at grad school 00:30:57 The importance of "Third Spaces" and staying at the retreat 00:35:20 Denise on the Dodgers owner: "Why are you eating your own fanbase?" 00:39:54 Fundraising for the Westside Food Bank 00:43:14 Navigating the Angel City FC controversy and free speech 00:53:01 Friendsgiving and celebrating diversity Topics Covered: Active seeking of joy ("Making your own fun")Public Service Announcements: Voting, Daylight Savings, Mercury RetrogradeNavigating social anxiety and showing up for eventsThe value of "Third Spaces" for connectionSports ethics: The Dodgers ownership and Angel City FC controversiesThe intersection of politics, values, and fandomFundraising for the Westside Food BankCelebrating diversity in the workplace (Friendsgiving)Fall rituals: Sweater weather, cider, and "Happy Lamps"Closing 5-4-3-2-1 gratitude exercise Join our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Sunday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!) Follow Us:Follow Jackie: @jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

    1 hr

  8. 12/09/2025

    Episode 50 - Fall Blues

    In this milestone 50th episode, hosts Denise and Jackie Freed reflect on persistence, the seasonal "grind" of October, and the importance of showing up—both for yourself and for your community. Denise shares a busy week of travel and inspiration, recounting her trip to Hawaii to celebrate a work anniversary and a powerful evening hearing historian Timothy Snyder speak on "Freedom." She shares Snyder's hopeful yet pragmatic message: there is no single fix for the world's problems, but everyone can "do something," whether it's protesting, donating, or simply paying for credible journalism (like Heather Cox Richardson). She also touches on the "sports grief" of watching beloved Angel City FC players retire, noting how caring about a team is a lesson in loving without control. Jackie opens up about managing her "melancholy" fall mood with a "Happy Lamp" and a focus on self-care policies. She shares a profound experience volunteering at a food rescue market, where abstract concepts from her grad school classes—like cultural humility and checking internalized bias—became very real challenges in a grocery line. The mother-daughter duo discusses the vital need for connection to combat loneliness, the power of somatic therapy to release stored trauma, and the ultimate reminder that love is "what we're doing it all for." They conclude by encouraging listeners to revisit their core values and join their growing community. Key Times: 00:00:49 Celebrating the Episode 50 milestone 00:02:12 The "stressed and depressed" reality of the October grind 00:03:24 Denise’s Hawaii trip: Tree tunnels and environmental observations 00:06:22 Inspiration from Anastasia Soare and Nadia Comaneci at the Oprah event 00:07:41 Takeaways from Timothy Snyder’s talk on "Freedom" 00:11:52 Processing sports grief: Angel City FC retirements 00:17:03 Discussing indigenous rights and Kamehameha Schools 00:19:53 The importance of showing up for community (Sunday Meetings) 00:23:24 Jackie’s "Happy Lamp" and getting "ducks in a row" 00:27:57 Jackie’s volunteering experience: A lesson in cultural humility 00:35:38 Somatic therapy and releasing trauma from the body 00:36:57 "This is what we're doing it all for": It comes back to love 00:43:03 Living life to the best of your ability amidst chaos 00:46:08 Revisiting values: The "Value Sort" exercise 00:50:20 Closing 5-4-3-2-1 gratitude practice Topics Covered: Celebrating the Episode 50 milestoneCombating seasonal depression with "Happy Lamps" and self-careTimothy Snyder’s advice: "Do something" and support real journalismThe ethics of sports fandom and processing team changesIndigenous rights and the Kamehameha Schools legal battleVolunteering as a practical application of social justice and cultural humilityThe importance of physical community vs. online isolationSomatic therapy (releasing trauma from the hips)Revisiting personal values (The Value Sort exercise)The "Universal Mother" taking care of usClosing 5-4-3-2-1 gratitude practice Join our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Sunday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!) Follow Us:Follow Jackie: @jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

    52 min
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About

12S4E deep-dives into Denise and Jackie Freed’s toolkit for living - The 12 Steps for Everyone. This mother-daughter duo discusses mental health, mental illness, recovery, sobriety, anxiety, depression, and more. Also featuring guests from their “village” who share their everyday miracles and survival tips, the show aims to provide practical tools, community, and hope to people who say “I’m okay!” but don’t really mean it (and who also need to drink more water).

Information

  • Creator
    Denise and Jackie Freed
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    58
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Denise and Jackie Freed
  • Show Website
    12S4E: The 12 Steps for Everyone