Foster Parent Well

Nicole T Barlow

Foster Parent Well is the go-to podcast for foster and adoptive parents who are navigating the complexities of parenting children with trauma while trying to stay sane in the process. Hosted by Nicole T Barlow, a foster and adoptive mom of six, parent trainer, and wellness coach, this podcast is where faith, resilience, and practical strategies come together.  If you're feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, or just plain exhausted from the daily realities of foster care and adoption—you're not alone. Here, we have real conversations about the hard stuff: attachment struggles, secondary trauma, parenting beyond behaviors, and the deep emotional weight of loving kids from hard places. But we also talk about you—your health, your nervous system, your faith, and the small, sustainable ways you can care for yourself so you can keep showing up for your kids.  Expect practical tips, faith-based encouragement, expert insights, and zero sugarcoating—just real, honest talk about what it takes to foster well, adopt well, and most importantly, stay well in the process.  Because parenting kids with trauma is a marathon, not a sprint—and you were never meant to run it alone.  🎧 Subscribe now and let’s do this together! 

  1. 5D AGO

    Why Real Self-Care Is Spiritual Warfare For Foster And Adoptive Parents

    Imagine standing shoulder to shoulder with women who carry the same holy weight you do—joy, heartbreak, and the unseen moments that never make a post. That’s the backdrop for a candid conversation on why self-care isn’t a luxury for foster and adoptive parents; it’s spiritual warfare that keeps us present, steady, and able to love when the storm rises. We unpack how cultural “self-care” got hijacked by indulgence and numbing, and replace it with a clear, workable definition rooted in both faith and physiology. From the biology of stress—cortisol spikes, dopamine dips, and oxytocin drains—to the very real load of secondary and primary trauma, we name what’s happening in your body so you can train, not just try harder. Think rowboat self-care: practices you can do in the middle of meltdowns, school calls, and court dates. With scripture as your compass and community as your lifeline, small habits become supply lines for a mission that matters. You’ll hear practical rhythms for spirit, soul, and body: short bursts of scripture and worship that anchor truth, gratitude and friendship that lower the emotional temperature, and simple body care that rebuilds capacity—hydration, three balanced meals, daily walking, and strength training to metabolize stress. We also talk about planned refuels outside your environment and how to beat the “start Monday” myth by doing the next right thing today. This is a warm, honest, first-person guide to guarding your temple and refusing the quiet drift into burnout. If this conversation serves you, share it with a friend who needs strength for the storm, subscribe for more faith-filled tools, and leave a quick review so others can find the show. Your steady presence matters, and with the right supply lines, you can keep rowing with hope. Self Care Reset Guide- https://nicoletbarlow.myflodesk.com/selfcarereset Throw the First Punch book- https://a.co/d/00J30SJo  Taryn Smith IG- https://www.instagram.com/tarynsmithmovement/  FILLED- https://www.filledretreat.com/  Connect with me on Instagram: @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558410502165 Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

    32 min
  2. JAN 23

    Inside A Faith-Driven Boys Ranch Transforming Foster Care

    Teen boys who’ve bounced through dozens of placements don’t need another bed; they need a family that endures. We sit down with Stacey Cooper, executive director of Goshen Valley Boys Ranch, to unpack a hybrid model that feels like home and delivers the services that help healing stick. Instead of rotating shift workers, married house parents live with the boys, building daily rhythms around school, chores, sports, and shared meals. It’s a peaceful campus with fishing ponds, basketball courts, and even a couple of donkeys—but the real difference is trauma-informed care rooted in TBRI, faith, and consistency. Stacey walks us through the first 72 hours—medical check-ins, school placement, counseling, and a simple yet powerful ritual: boys choose their own bedding and essentials from community-made welcome baskets. That early voice and choice matters. We dig into why teens sometimes struggle in traditional foster homes, how repeated disruptions damage attachment, and how thoughtful matching places each boy with house parents whose strengths fit his needs—from career coaching and trades to special education expertise. The conversation also opens the hood on caregiver support: weekly training, respite rhythms, extra staffing, and a culture of adult connection that prevents burnout and stabilizes kids. Faith runs through the work in everyday ways—gentle words, patient correction, showing up again tomorrow. Youth group nights, church camp, and weekly Compass Groups add community ties beyond campus. Whether permanency comes through reunification, adoption, or enduring relationships with the ranch into adulthood, the target never changes: help each young man learn to give and receive love. Curious how to help? There are many on-ramps: house parenting, respite care, fostering siblings, tutoring, therapy roles, Second Saturday service, or building welcome baskets. If this conversation moved you, follow the show, share it with a friend who cares about foster youth, and leave a review to help more listeners find these stories. Your steady support helps boys find belonging. GOSHEN VALLEY:  www.goshenvalley.org  Connect with me on Instagram: @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558410502165 Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

    47 min
  3. JAN 15

    Basics of Trauma and the Body For Foster and Adoptive Parents

    What if the outbursts, shutdowns, or “mixed signals” you see aren’t defiance at all, but a nervous system trying to survive? We pull back the curtain on how trauma reshapes a child’s brain and body, why trust feels dangerous, and what it actually takes to build safety that can be felt, not just promised. Drawing from lived experience as a foster and adoptive mom and the lens of TBRI-informed practice, I break down acute, chronic, and complex developmental trauma in simple, practical terms you can use today. We explore how survival mode steals energy from learning and language, why a nine-year-old may function like a four-year-old socially, and how that gap should change our expectations, routines, and school plans. You’ll hear a clear explanation of stress chemistry—cortisol, adrenaline, digestion, sleep, and cravings—and why bathroom issues, sugar seeking, and mood swings persist when the body never gets the “all clear.” I share how habits like control, hoarding, or rejecting comfort are often survival strategies, not character flaws, and how repetition, predictability, and co-regulation slowly rewire the brain toward trust. This conversation also centers the caregiver’s wellness and faith. Regulated adults regulate kids, so we walk through small, repeatable rhythms that lower stress and sustain your presence: steady routines, protein and hydration, sensory tools, movement, and time with God that refuels patience and hope. Progress is real but rarely fast; safety becomes believable only when it’s experienced over and over. If you need language to explain what you’re seeing, permission to lower demands, and encouragement to keep showing up, you’ll leave with practical steps and renewed courage for the long road of healing. If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it today, and leave a review so more caregivers can find the support they’re searching for. The Body Keeps the Score: https://a.co/d/9nMc4UC The Connected Child: https://a.co/d/e9yEOnh The Out-of-Sync Child: https://a.co/d/4BKYkTq Connect with me on Instagram: @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558410502165 Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

    27 min
  4. JAN 7

    Churches That Really Show Up For Foster Families

    What happens when a church stops outsourcing “foster care ministry” and starts treating it as discipleship at the core of its life together? We sit down with Callie Priest, Director of Strategic Partnerships at WinShape Homes, to map a clear path from pews to practice- one that helps leaders move past hype and into habits that actually sustain families and heal kids. We talk candidly about the real challenges pastors face: fear of the unknown, volunteer fatigue, and the myth that a few passionate advocates can carry the whole load. Callie lays out a simple framework any church can adapt—raise awareness from the pulpit, appoint a point leader, set a modest budget, and wrap each fostering household with a care team for meals, rides, respite, and prayer. Just as important, she shows how children’s and student ministries can become trauma-informed with predictable routines, calmer transitions, and volunteers who know how to co-regulate. That quiet competence makes a sanctuary feel like a sanctuary for kids from hard places. If you’re a pastor, ministry director, or parent longing for your church to show up wisely, this conversation gives you language, tools, and next steps to begin. Subscribe, share this with a leader in your life, and leave a review so more churches can find practical, gospel-shaped help for foster and adoptive families. Self Care Reset Guide: https://nicoletbarlow.myflodesk.com/selfcarereset  WINSHAPE HOMES WEBSITE: https://homes.winshape.org/WINSHAPE HOMES INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/winshapehomes WINSHAPE HOMES PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-winshape-homes-podcast/id1843219550 Connect with me on Instagram: @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558410502165 Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

    1h 10m
  5. 11/19/2025

    The Hope of the Gospel In Foster Care with Jamie Finn

    When foster care gets messy and the case plan keeps shifting, what holds you steady? We sit down with author, ministry leader, and foster mom Jamie Finn to dig into the gritty, hope-filled heart of caregiving: how to carry sorrow and joy together, how to parent from grace when strategies fail, and how to keep the gospel at the center for kids, bio families, and ourselves. Jamie shares her family’s entry into foster care and the steady refrain that carried them—God is sovereign, God is good—through 30 placements and four adoptions. We talk about the “both/and” of this calling: real brokenness and real beauty living side by side. From kids wrestling with the idea of “father” to parents battling shame and exhaustion, we explore how a perfect Father reframes our stories and restores the capacity to hope. Jamie also introduces her new children’s book, God Loves Kids, a clear, compassionate way to tell the truth about pain while anchoring children in a bigger, unshakable love. If you need encouragement that isn’t shallow, if you’re longing for tools that work in the real world and a vision big enough to outlast court dates and goodbyes, this one will meet you where you are. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs courage today, and leave a review to help more families find gospel-centered support. Foster the Family: https://www.fosterthefamily.org/  FILLED retreat: https://www.filledretreat.com/ Discount code is: fosterparentwell God Love Kids: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1540904040?ref_=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cp_ud_dp_G24XP1YTX7R51NP6PKH1&bestFormat=true  Win a copy of the book! Share this podcast episode on Instagram and tag me @nicoletbarlow and Jamie @fosterthefamilyblog for your chance to win! Connect with me on Instagram: @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558410502165 Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

    35 min
  6. 11/12/2025

    Rhythms For Foster and Adoptive Parents

    The hardest part of foster and adoptive parenting isn’t always the paperwork or the appointments- it’s trying to care for everyone while running on fumes. We open up about a season of nonstop schedules, takeout dinners, and too much caffeine, and then step back to ask a bigger question: what if wellness isn’t found in doing more, but in returning to God’s rhythms of life? From Scripture’s picture of day and night, sowing and harvest, and Sabbath rest, we build a framework that helps weary caregivers move from survival to steady. We break down five “kingdom rhythms” that change both mindset and body: fasting and feasting, work and rest, pouring out and being poured into, serving and being served, loving and being loved. You’ll hear how gentle intermittent fasting (like a 12-12 window) supports hormones and digestion only when paired with real nourishment, why stress-heavy seasons call for wisdom before adding spiritual or dietary fasts, and how protein, fiber, and regular meals can calm a dysregulated nervous system. We talk practical movement- why walking regulates emotions, how strength training builds resilience that transfers into parenting—and why recovery is not optional if you want strength that lasts. Community threads through everything. We share how solitude with God, a discipleship group that speaks truth, and a church family that shows up with meals and prayer keep hearts soft and steady. You’ll find honest encouragement to receive help without guilt, model dependence in front of your kids, and keep showing up for worship even when it’s messy. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s choosing one rhythm to start—cook a nourishing dinner, take a ten-minute walk, schedule a Sabbath hour, or text a friend for prayer—and letting God set the pace as capacity returns. If this conversation strengthens you, subscribe, share it with another foster or adoptive parent who needs a hopeful reset, and leave a review so more families can find this space. What rhythm will you start this week? Connect with me on Instagram: @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558410502165 Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

    34 min
  7. 11/05/2025

    Adoption, Identity, and Belonging with Adoptee, Isaac Etter

    What if the most loving thing we can do for our kids isn’t to fix their pain, but to guide them through it? We sit down with Isaac Etter—transracial adoptee, educator, and founder of Identity and Parenting Different—to unpack what adoptees actually need: honest stories, practical preparation, and communities that make belonging real. Isaac shares how identity often splits in two for adoptees: Who am I in a family where no one looks like me, and how does my race shape my daily experience? He names a trio many families miss—loss, grief, and guilt—and explains why guilt is so common when adoptees fear disappointing loving parents with honest questions. We dig into how parents can move from protection to preparation in transracial homes, offering concrete examples for talking about bias, public behavior, and safety without making the world feel hopeless. From Nerf guns in the front yard to being followed in a store, Isaac gives language to help kids understand what happened, know where we stand, and feel safe coming back to talk more. We also map an age-appropriate path for lifelong conversations about race and adoption. Start early with everyday affirmation—books, toys, hair care, and mentors that reflect your child—and build toward practical scripts for school, friends, and authority. Belonging grows when the whole family participates in diverse communities, cultural festivals, and routines that normalize the child’s heritage. And when it comes to birth stories, we talk about sharing truth in stages—without vilifying or hiding—so kids carry a coherent narrative into adulthood. Looking for ongoing support? Isaac’s work with Identity and Parenting Different brings post-adoption training and free resources to families, agencies, and states. Listen for the frameworks and scripts we use at home, then share the episode with someone who needs it. If this helped you, subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: what’s one conversation you’ll start this week? Link: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/ Connect with me on Instagram: @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558410502165 Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

    59 min
  8. 10/29/2025

    Fear, Faith, And Foster Parenting

    Fear loves to whisper what if, especially to foster and adoptive parents who carry heavy stories and real responsibilities. We open up about the moments when panic tries to take over- late-night spirals, hard court dates, and those small behaviors that feel like previews of a grim future- and we share the better way: a posture rooted in grace, curiosity, and steady faith. Nicole unpacks how 2 Timothy 1:7 offers more than comfort; it gives a blueprint for parenting with power, love, and a sound mind, even when the stakes are high. You’ll hear a vivid story about a child’s “sticky fingers” that flips catastrophe into calling, reminding us to look beneath behaviors for gifts and needs. We talk about advocacy in the system- how to prepare, speak clearly, and hold boundaries without losing kindness- and why acting from panic rarely serves kids well. We also step into the deep waters of unsafe seasons, telling the truth about fear while describing the surprising peace that shows up in God’s presence. The picture of Stephen in Acts 7, and Jesus standing, reframes suffering with awe and invites us to trade bitterness for grace-filled courage. Throughout, we weave in practical tools: pause before reacting, ask a curious question, pray a one-line prayer, rehearse God’s track record, and anchor your mind in passages like Isaiah 41:10 and John 14:27. If you’ve ever felt stuck in what if thinking or tempted to over-control, this conversation offers a calmer path and grounded hope. Subscribe, share with a foster or adoptive friend, and tell us: where has God turned your fear into faith? Your story may be the encouragement someone needs today. Connect with me on Instagram: @nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558410502165 Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

    14 min

Trailer

5
out of 5
19 Ratings

About

Foster Parent Well is the go-to podcast for foster and adoptive parents who are navigating the complexities of parenting children with trauma while trying to stay sane in the process. Hosted by Nicole T Barlow, a foster and adoptive mom of six, parent trainer, and wellness coach, this podcast is where faith, resilience, and practical strategies come together.  If you're feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, or just plain exhausted from the daily realities of foster care and adoption—you're not alone. Here, we have real conversations about the hard stuff: attachment struggles, secondary trauma, parenting beyond behaviors, and the deep emotional weight of loving kids from hard places. But we also talk about you—your health, your nervous system, your faith, and the small, sustainable ways you can care for yourself so you can keep showing up for your kids.  Expect practical tips, faith-based encouragement, expert insights, and zero sugarcoating—just real, honest talk about what it takes to foster well, adopt well, and most importantly, stay well in the process.  Because parenting kids with trauma is a marathon, not a sprint—and you were never meant to run it alone.  🎧 Subscribe now and let’s do this together! 

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